Halfway to Heaven and Hell

Satan:
I can't think of a single reason anyone would even want to go to Heaven any more.

God:
If you happen to see a seven headed dragon... run...

God:
As long as it's not another fruit-dangling serpent, because that was really lame...

Satan:
Hey, that got your precious little Adam and Eve.

God:
Adam and Eve were idiots all right. People nowadays they've got Tv, they've got the Internet... they're not going to be tempted by some stupid little rubber snake with a lemon.

God:
Oh excuse me, could I get another coffee here?

The Barista:
Sure thing suger.

God:
Thank you. She's getting into Heaven.

Satan:
Ha. Not if I can help it.

God:
You're an ass, you know that.