Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Ron:
Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?

Lucius Malfoy:
Your scar is legend. As of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.

Harry:
Voldemort killed my parents, he was nothing more than a murderer.

Lucius Malfoy:
Hmm, you must be very brave to mention his name... or very foolish.

Ron:
They were starving him, Mum. There were bars on his window.

Mrs. Weasley:
You'd best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley.

Hermione:
Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
AMAZING. This is just like magic.

Ron:
Follow the spiders. Follow the spiders. If Hagrid ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him.

Harry:
Not to be rude or anything, but this isn't a great time for me to have a house elf in my bedroom.

Dumbledore:
It is not our abilities that show what we truly are... it is our choices.

Moaning Myrtle:
Oh, Harry? If you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet.

Harry:
Uh... thanks, Myrtle.

Oliver Wood:
I don't believe it! Where do you think you're going, Flint?

Marcus Flint:
Qudditch practice!

Oliver Wood:
But I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today.

Marcus Flint:
Easy, Wood. I've got a note.

Oliver Wood:
"I, Professor Severus Snape do hereby give the Slytherin team permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new Seeker." You've got a new seeker? Who?

Harry Potter:
Malfoy?

Draco Malfoy:
Thats right. And that's not all that's new this year.

Ron:
Those are Nimbus Two-Thousand and Ones! How'd you get those?

Marcus Flint:
A gift from Draco's father.

Draco Malfoy:
You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.

Hermione Granger:
At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.

Draco Malfoy:
No one asked your opinion you filthy little Mudblood!

Ron:
You'll pay for that one Malfoy! Eat slugs!

Colin Creevey:
Can you turn him around Harry?

Harry Potter:
No Colin! Get out of the way!

Neville Longbottom:
Why is it always me?

Uncle Vernon:
And Dudley, you will be?

Dudley Dursley:
I'll be waiting to open the door.

Uncle Vernon:
Excellent. And you?

Harry:
I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don't exist.

Hagrid:
Better out than in.

Hagrid:
And I'd just like to say that, if it hadn't been for you, Harry, and Ron, and Hermione of course, I would... I'd still be You-Know-Where. So I'd juste like to say: thanks.

Harry:
It's not Hogwarts without you, Hagrid.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Funny, the damage a silly little book can do, especially in the hands of a silly little girl.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
How is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent was able to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?

Harry:
What do you care about Voldemort? Voldemort was after your time!

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Voldemort is my past, present, and future.

Lucius Malfoy:
Let me see; red hair, vacant expressions, tatty second-hand books, you must be the Weasleys.

Arthur Weasley:
Now, Harry you must know all about Muggles, tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

Ron:
Say it, I'm doomed.

Harry:
You're doomed.

Draco Malfoy:
Famous Harry Potter... Can't even go into a book shop without making the front page.

Draco Malfoy:
The last time The Chamber of secrets was opened a Mudblood died. So it's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me... I hope it's Granger.

Ron:
Dad loves muggles, he thinks they're fascinating.

Hermione:
Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn't a good sign.

Moaning Myrtle:
I'm Moaning Myrtle. I wouldn't expect you to know me. Who would ever want to talk about ugly, miserable, moping, Moaning Myrtle? AHHH.

Hermione:
She's a little sensitive.

Harry:
You'd better clear out before my bones grow back, or else I might strangle you.

Dobby:
Dobby is used to death threats, he gets them five times a day at home.

Draco Malfoy:
Training for the ballet, Potter?

Hermione:
Look. Hagrid's our friend, why don't we just go and ask him about it?

Ron:
Oh, that'd be a cheerful visit. "Ello Hagrid! Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"

Hagrid:
Mad and hairy? Yer wouldn't be talkin' about me, now would ya?

Ron:

Harry:
No.

Lucius Malfoy:
Let us hope that Mr. Potter will always be around to save the day.

Harry:
Don't worry. I will be.

Draco Malfoy:
Scared, Potter?

Harry:
You wish.

Filch:
Well, I'd take a good look lads. This night might be the last you spend in this castle. Oh dear, we are in trouble.

Hermione:
He called me a Mudblood.

Hagrid:
He did not.

Harry:
Ron, I should tell you, most Muggles aren't exactly accustomed to seeing a flying car.

Harry:
Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Dumbledore has been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me.

The Sorting Hat:
Bee in your bonnet, Potter?

Harry:
I was just wondering, whether you put me into the right house?

The Sorting Hat:
Yes, you were particularly difficult to place, but I stand on what I said last year: You would have done well in Slytherin.

Harry:
You're wrong.

Harry:
But I haven't received any messages, from any of my friends. Not one, all summer.

Dudley Dursley:
Who'd want to be friends with you?

Ron:
Maybe we could trick them into telling.

Hermione:
Even THEY aren't that thick.

Harry:
There's no Hogwarts without you Hagrid.

Ginny:
Mummy, have you seen my jumper?

Mrs. Weasley:
Yes dear, it was on the cat.

Mrs. Weasley:
Now don't forget to speak very, very clearly.

Harry:
Diagonally.

Mrs. Weasley:
What did he say dear?

Arthur Weasley:
Diagonally.

Mrs. Weasley:
I thought he did.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Harry, Harry, Harry. Can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention, than by helping me answer my fan mail?

Harry:
Not really.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Fame is a fickle friend Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that.

Professor Snape:
Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox.

Harry:
Your bird, there was nothing I could do. He just caught fire.

Dumbledore:
Oh, and about time too. He's been looking dreadful for days. Pity you had to see him on a burning day.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Books can be misleading.

Harry:
You wrote them.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
My dear boy, do use your common sense. My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'D done all those things.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
It's really quite filthy down here.

Hermoine:
Do you think he's all right?

Ron:
Who cares?

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
So this is what Dumbledore sends his great defender. A songbird and an old hat.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Let's match the powers of Lord Voldemort, Heir of Salazar Slytherin, against the famous Harry Potter.

Dobby:
Dobby is very sorry, Dobby had to iron his hands...

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all up, in case you ever need to protect yourself, as I myself have done on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works.

Hermione:
Look at my face.

Ron:
Look at your tail.

Professor Snape:
If I might, Headmaster. Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don't recall seeing Potter at dinner.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
That was my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Allow me to introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.

Lucius Malfoy:
What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard, if they don't even pay you well for it?

Arthur Weasley:
We have a very different idea about what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy.

Lucius Malfoy:
Clearly.

Lucius Malfoy:
Your scar is legend. As of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.

Ron:
Is there anything you CAN do?

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Yes, now that you mention it. I'm rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, all those wizards would have gone blabbing. I'd have never sold another book.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Haven't I told you? Killing Mudbloods doesn't matter to me any more. For many months now, my new target has been you.

Ron:
How thick can you get?

Professor Snape:
You were seen! By no less than seven Muggles! Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on Whomping Willow, that's been on these grounds since before you were born!

Ron:
Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.

Professor Snape:
Silence! I assure you that were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home TONIGHT!

Ron:
Have you spoken to Hermione?

Harry:
She should be out of hospital in a few days... when she stops coughing up fur balls.

Ginny:
Leave him alone!

Draco Malfoy:
Look, Potter! You've got yourself a girlfriend.

Ron:
Enlighten me. Why are we brewing this potion in broad daylight, in the middle of a girls' lavatory? Don't you think we'll get caught?

Howler (Mrs. Weasley):
RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR? I AM ABSOUTELY DISGUSTED! YOU'RE FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER *TOE* OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME! And Ginny, dear, congratulations on making it into Gryffindor. Your Father and I are so proud.

Lucius Malfoy:
Now, now Draco, play nicely.

Ron:
Let's think. Who do we know that thinks all Muggle-borns are scum.

Hermione:
If your'e talking about Malfoy...?

Ron:
Of course, Malfoy. You heard what he said "You'll be next, Mudblood"!

Oliver Wood:
All right, here's the plan. We play our game, Hufflepuff doesn't stand a chance. We're stronger, quicker and smarter.

Fred Weasley:
Not to mention they're terrified Harry will petrify them if they fly anywhere near him.

Oliver Wood:
That too.

Lucius Malfoy:
And you must be Miss Granger, I presume? Yes, Draco's told me all about you. And your parents... Muggles, aren't they?

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Hello. Who are you?

Ron:
Um... Ron Weasley.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Really! And,uh, wh-who am I?

Ron:
Lockhart's memory charm backfired! He hasn't got a clue who he is!

Gilderoy Lockhart:
It's an odd sort of place, this, isn't it? Do you live here?

Ron:
No.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Really?

Mrs Weasley in the form of a howler:
RONALD WEASLEY!!!! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR!! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED!! YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT!! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!!

Oh and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor, your father and I are so proud.

[Malfoy corners Harry, Hermione, and the Weasley children at Flourish & Blotts Bookstore after Harry unwillingly gets his picture taken with Lockhart.]

Draco Malfoy:
Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter? Famous Harry Potter. Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page.

Ginny Weasley:
Leave him alone.

Draco Malfoy:
[Smirking] Oh, look, Potter. You've got yourself a girlfriend.

Lucius Malfoy:
[Places the silver snake of his walking stick on Draco's shoulder] Now, now, Draco. Play nicely. [To Harry] Mr. Potter. Lucius Malfoy. We meet at last. Forgive me. [uses the silver snake to pull back Harry's bangs; sees his scar] Your scar is legend. As, of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.

Harry:
[firmly] Voldemort killed my parents. He was nothing more than a murderer.

Lucius Malfoy:
Hmm, you must be very brave to mention his name. Or very foolish.

Hermione:
[Indirectly quoting Dumbledore] Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.

Lucius Malfoy:
And you must be... Miss Granger. Yes, Draco's told me all about you... and your parents. [glances at the Grangers, who are speaking with Mr. Weasley] Muggles, aren't they? [Looks at Ron] Let me see. Red hair, vacant expressions... [Takes a book out of Ginny's cauldron] Tatty, secondhand book. [Smiles coldly] You must be the Weasleys.

Arthur Weasley:
[Arriving and attempting to ignore Mr. Malfoy] Children, it's mad in here. Let's go outside.

Lucius Malfoy:
Well, well, well. Weasley Senior.

Arthur Weasley:
Lucius.

Lucius Malfoy:
Busy time at the Ministry, Arthur. All those extra raids; I do hope they're paying you overtime. [Picks up one of Ginny's books] Though judging by the state of this, I'd say not. [Places the book back in Ginny's cauldron; another book has been slipped in with it, though only Harry notices] What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard... if they don't even pay you well for it?

Arthur Weasley:
We have a very different idea about what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy.

Lucius Malfoy:
Clearly. Associating with Muggles... And I thought your family could sink no lower. [Mr. Weasley glares at Mr Malfoy.] I'll see you at work.

Draco Malfoy:
See you at school.

[Lucius and Draco leave]

[Snape is reading a newspaper. On the front cover is the moving image of Ron's dad's car flying. The headline reads "Flying Ford Anglia Mystifies Muggles"]

Snape:
You were seen, by no less than seven Muggles! [He throws the newspaper down and glares at Harry and Ron] Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on a Whomping Willow that's been on these grounds since before you were born.

Ron:
Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.

Snape:
Silence! I assure you that were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home, tonight! As it is...

Dumbledore:
They are not.

[Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall enter the room.]

Harry:
Professor Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall.

Snape:
Headmaster... these boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry. As such...

Dumbledore:
I am well aware of our bylaws, Severus, having written quite a few of them myself. However, as head of Gryffindor House, it is for Professor McGonagall to determine the appropriate action.

Ron:
We'll go and get our stuff, then.

McGonagall:
What are you talking about, Mr. Weasley?

Ron:
You're going to expel us, aren't you?

McGonagall:
Not today, Mr. Weasley. But I must impress on both of you the seriousness of what you have done. I will be writing to your families tonight, and you will both receive detentions.

Dean Thomas:
Ron? Is that your owl?

(Errol is flying towards the Gryffindor table with a letter; he crashes into a bowl of crisps, knocking them all over the table; Slytherins laugh as Ron nervously picks up the letter and Errol flies off)

Ron:
That bloody bird's a menace. [looks at the letter] Oh no!

Seamus Finnigan:
Look, everyone! Weasley's got himself a Howler!

Neville Longbottom:
Go on, Ron. I ignored one from my gran once... [looking uneasy] It was horrible!

(Ron nervously opens the Howler and Mrs. Weasley's voice echoes around the hall)

Mrs. Weasley via Howler:
RONALD WEASLEY!!! (The Howler forms itself into a ranting mouth) HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR!! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT!! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!!! (The Howler turns to Ginny, who is eating her breakfast; its voice is now quiet and loving) Oh, and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud. (The Howler turns back to Ron and blows a raspberry at him, then tears itself to pieces)

Ron:
Those are Nimbus Two-Thousand and Ones! How did you get those?

Marcus Flint:
A gift from Draco's father.

Draco Malfoy:
You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.

Hermione:
At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.

Draco Malfoy:
[Annoyed] No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood.

[Hermione glares at him with a mixture of hate and hurt]

Ron:
You'll pay for that one, Malfoy! Eat slugs!

[Ron's spell backfires, blasting him off his feet. Harry and Hermione rush to his side.]

Hermione:
You okay, Ron? [Ron's face turns green] Say something!

[Ron opens his mouth as if to say something but instead regurgitates a slug.]

Colin Creevey:
[starts taking pictures of Ron] Wow! Can you turn him around, Harry?

Harry Potter:
No, Colin! Get out of the way. [he and Hermione help Ron to his feet] Let's take him to Hagrid. [Ron regurgitates another slug] He'll know what to do.

[The three of them rush off to Hagrid's while the Slytherins laugh at them.]

Minerva McGonagall:
Yes, Miss Granger?

Hermione Granger:
Professor, I was wondering if you'd tell us about the Chamber of Secrets.

Professor Minerva McGonagall:
[seeing everyone's faces] Very well. Well, you all knew, of course, that Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago, by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. Now three of the founders co-existed quite harmoniously. One did not.

Ron Weasley:
[Sarcastic] Three guesses who.

Professor Minerva McGonagall:
Salazar Slytherin wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed magical learning should be kept within all-magic families – in other words, "pure-bloods". Unable to sway the others, he decided to leave the school. Now according to legend, Slytherin had built a hidden chamber in this castle, known as the Chamber of Secrets. Though shortly before departing, he sealed it... until that time when his own true heir returned to the school. The heir alone would be able to open the chamber and unleash the horror within, and by so doing, purge the school of all those who, in Slytherin's view, were unworthy to study magic.

Hermione Granger:
Muggle-borns.

Professor Minerva McGonagall:
Well, naturally the school has been searched many times. No such chamber has been found.

Hermione Granger:
Professor, what exactly does legend tell us lies within the Chamber?

Minerva McGonagall:
Well the Chamber is said to be home to something that only the Heir of Slytherin can control. it is said to be the home... of a monster.

[Hermione stares in shock, and Ron turns to Malfoy, who smirks.]

[At the Dueling Club]

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Let me introduce my assistant... Professor Snape. [Snape grudgingly walks up onto the platform] He has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry. You'll still have your Potions Master when I'm through with him! Never fear. [Lockhart and Snape approach each other, bow to each other, walk a fair distance apart and ready their wands.] One, two, three...

Snape:
Expelliarmus!

[The spell blasts Lockhart across the room.]

Hermione:
[concerned] Do you think he's all right?

Ron:
[laughs] Who cares?

Gilderoy Lockhart:
An excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape! But if you don't mind me saying, it was pretty obvious, uh, what you were about to do. And if I had wanted to stop you, it would have been only too easy–

Snape:
[losing patience] Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students to block unfriendly spells, Professor?

Gilderoy Lockhart:
An excellent suggestion, Professor Snape. Uh... Let's have a volunteer pair. Uh, Potter, Weasley. How about you?

[Harry walks to the platform steps]

Snape:
Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. He'd be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox. Might I suggest someone from my own house? Malfoy, perhaps?

[Snape throws Malfoy onto the platform. He and Harry meet in the centre, and raise their wands as though they are fencing foils.]

Draco Malfoy:
Scared, Potter?

Harry:
You wish.

[Using a Polyjuice Potion, Harry and Ron are now disguised as Goyle and Crabbe as they leave the 2nd floor girls' bathroom]

Harry Potter [as Gregory Goyle]:
I think the Slytherin common room's this way.

Ron Weasley [as Vincent Crabbe]:
Okay.

[Percy Weasley spots them]

Percy Weasley:
Excuse me!

Ron Weasley [as Vincent Crabbe]:
What are you doing dow– [Harry hits him; Ron clears his throat and speaks more authoritatively] I mean, What are you doing down here?

Percy Weasley:
I happen to be a school Prefect. You, on the other hand, have no business wandering the corridors this time of night. What's your names again?

[Harry and Ron look at each other uncertainly]

Ron Weasley [as Vincent Crabbe]:
Uh...

Harry Potter [as Gregory Goyle]:
I'm...

Draco Malfoy:
[Rounding a corner] Crabbe! Goyle! Where have you two been? Pigging out in the Great Hall all this time? [looks oddly at Harry, who is still wearing his glasses Why are you wearing glasses?

Harry Potter [as Gregory Goyle]:
[Quickly removes his glasses] Um... Um... reading.

Draco Malfoy:
Reading? [Harry nods] I didn't know you could read. [Turns to Percy] And what are you doing down here, Weasley?

Percy Weasley:
Mind your attitude, Malfoy.

[Draco just smirks and walks off; Harry and Ron follow him to the Slytherin common room.]

Draco Malfoy:
You'd never know the Weasleys were purebloods, the way they behave. They're an embarrassment to the wizarding world – all of them! [Ron (disguised as Crabbe) clenches his fist angrily] What's wrong with you, Crabbe?

Ron:
[gets nudged by Harry (disguised as Goyle)] Ahem... stomachache.

Draco Malfoy:
You know, I'm surprised that the Daily Prophet hasn't done a report on all these attacks. I suppose Dumbledore is trying to hush it all up. Father always said Dumbledore was the worst thing that ever happened to this place.

Harry:
You're wrong!

Draco Malfoy:
[sternly] What? You think there's someone here who's worse than Dumbledore? ["Goyle" doesn't reply] Well? Do you?

Harry:
[gulps] Harry Potter?

[Draco sits back on the couch, considering this]

Draco Malfoy:
Good one, Goyle. You're absolutely right. Saint Potter. And people actually think that he's the Heir of Slytherin?

Harry:
Well, then, you must have some idea who's behind it all.

Draco Malfoy:
You know I don't, Goyle. I told you yesterday. How many times do I have to tell you? [picks up the package and shakes it] Is this yours? [Harry shakes his head] But, my father did say this: It's been 50 years since the Chamber was opened. He wouldn't tell me who opened it, only they were expelled. The last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died. So, it's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me... I hope it's Granger. [Ron tries to rush at him, but Harry stops him] What's the matter with you two? You're acting very... odd.

Harry:
It's his... stomachache.

[Harry and Ron find Myrtle crying after flooding the girls' bathroom]

Myrtle:
Come to throw something else at me?

Harry:
Why would I throw something at you?

Myrtle:
Don't ask me. Here I am, minding my own business, and someone thinks it's funny to throw a book at me.

Ron:
But it can't hurt if someone throws something at you. I mean, it'd just go right through you.

Myrtle:
[flies down at him furiously] SURE! Let's all throw books at Myrtle, because she can't feel it! Ten points if you get it through her stomach! [punches through Ron's] Fifty points if it goes through her HEAD! [punches through his]

Harry:
But who threw it at you, anyway?

Myrtle:
[more calmly] I don't know, I didn't see them. I was just sitting in the U-bend, thinking about death, [sighs] and it fell through the top of my head. Mm-hmm! [nods and floats away, sobbing]

Harry:
It was Hagrid. Hagrid opened the Chamber if Secrets 50 years ago.

Hermoine:
It can't be Hagrid. It just can't be.

Ron:
We don't even know this Tom Riddle. He sounds like a dirty rotten snitch to me.

Harry:
The monster had killed somebody, Ron. What would any of us have done?

Hermione:
Look, Hagrid is our friend, so why don't we just go and ask him?

Ron:
[Sarcastically] That will be a cheerful visit. "Hello, Hagrid. Tell us, have you sent anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"

Hagrid:
[Appears from behind] Mad and hairy? Yer wouldn't be talkin' about me, now are ya?

Harry, Ron, and Hermione:
No!

'Harry:
[notices the canister of liquid Hagrid is carrying] What's that you've got, Hagrid?

Hagrid:
Oh, it's, uh, flesh-eating slug repellent. For the mandrakes, you know. Now, according to Professor Sprout, they’ve still got a bit of growing to do. But, once their acne’s been cleared up, we’ll be able to chop them and stew them, and then we’ll get those people down at the hospital un-petrified. In the meantime, though, you three... had best be looking after yourselves, all right? [turns and walks back where he came from; Neville starts running from in the direction Hagrid’s going] Hello, Neville.

Neville:
Harry, I don't know who did it, but you'd better come! Come on!

(Hagrid is being arrested)

Hagrid:
[knowing that Harry and Ron are inside the hut, in the invisibility cloak] If... um... If anybody was looking for some stuff, then all they'd have to do would be to follow the spiders. Yep. That would leave them right. That's all I have to say. Oh, and someone will need to feed Fang while I'm away.

Cornelius Fudge:
[to Fang] Good boy. [He, Hagrid and Lucius Malfoy leave. Harry and Ron remove the cloak of invisibility]

Ron:
Hagrid's right. With Dumbledore gone, there'll be an attack a day.

Harry:
Look. [sees a trail of spiders on Hagrid's window] Come on. [grabs a lantern] Come on, Fang. Come on.

Ron:
What?

Harry:
You heard what Hagrid said. "Follow the spiders."

Ron:
They're heading to the Dark Forest! [Harry ignores him] Why spiders?! Why couldn't be "follow the butterflies"?! [follows Harry out the door]

Aragog:
Who is it?

Harry:
[to a terrified Ron] Don't panic.

Aragog:
Hagrid? Is that you?

Harry:
We're friends of Hagrid. [A colossal, tarantula-like spider emerges] You... You're Aragog, aren't you?

Aragog:
Yes. Hagrid has never sent men into our hollow before.

Harry:
Well, he's in trouble. Up at the school, there have been attacks. They think it's Hagrid. They think he opened the Chamber of Secrets, like before.

Aragog:
That's a lie! Hagrid never opened the Chamber of Secrets.

Harry:
Then you're not the monster?

Aragog:
No. The monster was born in the castle. I came to Hagrid from a distant land, in the pocket of a traveler.

Ron:
[noticing other giant spiders around them; whimpering] Harry...

Harry:
Shush. [to Aragog] Well, if you're not the monster, then what did kill that girl 50 years ago?

Aragog:
We do not speak of it! It is an ancient creature that we spiders fear above all others.

Harry:
But have you seen it?

Aragog:
I never saw any part of the castle but the box in which Hagrid kept me. The girl was discovered in a bathroom. When I was accused, Hagrid brought me here.

Ron:
[sounding like he's about to cry] Harry?

Harry:
[irritated] What?! [Ron points upwards in terror – giant spiders descend and surround them] [to Aragog] Well... thank you. We'll just go.

Aragog:
Go? I think not. My sons and daughters do not harm Hagrid on my command, but I cannot deny them fresh meat when it wanders so willingly into our midst. Goodbye, friends of Hagrid.

Ron:
[to Harry] Can we panic now? [the spiders move in for the attack] Know any spells?

Harry:
One – but it's not powerful enough for all of them.

Ron:
Where's Hermione when you need her?

Harry:
[reads the paper from the book taken by Hermione] "Of the many fearsome beasts that roam our land, none is more deadly than the basilisk. Capable of living for hundreds of years, instant death awaits any who meet this giant serpent's eye. Spiders flee before it." Ron, this is it. The monster in the Chamber of Secrets is a basilisk. That's why I can hear it speak. It's a snake.

Ron:
But if it kills by looking people in the eye, why is it no one's dead?

Harry:
Because no one did look it in the eye. Not directly, at least. Colin saw it through his camera. Justin– Justin must have seen the basilisk through Nearly Headless Nick. Nick got the full blast of it. But he's a ghost, he couldn't die again. And Hermione had the mirror. I bet you she was using it to look around corners in case it came along.

Ron:
And Mrs. Norris? I'm pretty sure she didn't have a camera or a mirror, Harry.

Harry:
The water. There was water on the floor that night. She only saw the basilisk's reflection. [reads again] "Spiders flee before it." It all fits!

Ron:
But how's a basilisk been getting around? A dirty, great snake. Someone would have seen it.

Harry:
Hermione's answered that too.

[Harry and Ron read the last word on paper]

Ron:
"Pipes?" It's using the plumbing!

Harry:
Remember what Aragog said about that girl 50 years ago? She died in a bathroom? What if she never left?

Ron:
Moaning Myrtle.

Minerva McGonagall:
As you can see, the Heir of Slytherin has left another message. Our worst fear has been realized. A student has been taken by the monster into the Chamber itself! The students must be sent home. I'm afraid this is the end of Hogwarts.

Lockhart:
[entering] So sorry. Dozed off. What have I missed?

Snape:
A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Your moment has come at last.

Lockhart:
My moment?

Snape:
Weren't you saying just last night that you've known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?

[Lockhart doesn't answer]

Minerva McGonagall:
That's settled. We'll leave you to deal with the monster, Gilderoy. Your skills, after all, are legend.

Lockhart:
Very well. I'll just be in my office getting... getting ready.

Poppy Pomfrey:
Who is it that the monster's taken, Minerva?

Minerva McGonagall:
Ginny Weasley.

[Harry and Ron are shocked and read the message written in blood on the wall]

Ron:
[reads it] "Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever". Ginny...

[Harry and Ron catch Lockhart packing some trunks for a hasty retreat]

Harry:
Are you going somewhere?

Lockhart:
[nervously] Um, well, yes. Urgent call, unavoidable. Got to go...

Ron:
What about my sister?!

Lockhart:
Well, as to that - most unfortunate. No one regrets more than I...

Ron:
You're the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher! You can't go now!

Lockhart:
I must say, when I took the job, nothing in the job description--

Harry:
You're running away, after all that stuff you did in your books?!

Lockhart:
Books can be misleading.

Harry:
You wrote them!

Lockhart:
My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'd done all those things!

Harry:
[realizing, outraged] You're a FRAUD. You've just been taking credit for what other wizards have done!

Ron:
Is there anything you can do?

Lockhart:
Yes, now you mention it. I'm rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would have gone blabbing, and I'd never have sold another book. And now, I'm afraid I'll have to do the same to you--

[He grabs his wand, only to have Harry and Ron already aiming theirs at him]

Harry:
Don't even think about it.

Harry:
It's a snake skin.

Ron:
Bloody hell. Whoever shed this must be 60 feet long, or more. [Lockhart pretends to pass out. Ron notices.] Heart of a lion, this one.

Lockhart:
[jumps up and grabs Ron's wand; aims the wand at Harry, then at Ron, then at Harry again] The adventure ends here, boys. But don't fret. [Points it at Ron] The world will know our story. How I was too late to save the girl. How you two tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body. So... [Aims it at Harry] You first, Mr. Potter. Say goodbye... to your memories. Obliviate!

[Lockhart is blasted into the ceiling by the spell, having used Ron's broken wand for the job, causing a cave-in that separates Harry from him and Ron.]

Ron:
Harry?! Harry!

Harry:
Ron! Ron, are you okay?

Ron:
I'm fine.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
[sits up and grins at Ron] Hello. Who are you?

Ron:
Uh, Ron Weasley.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Really? And, um, who-who am I?

Ron:
[to Harry] Lockhart's Memory Charm backfired! He hasn't got a clue who he is!

Gilderoy Lockhart:
[picks up a rock] It's an odd sort of place, isn't it? Do you live here?

Ron:
[takes the rock from Lockhart] No.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Really?

[Ron hits Lockhart on the head with the rock, knocking him out.]

Ron:
What do I do now?

Harry:
You wait here and try to shift some of this rock so we can get back through. I'll go on and find Ginny.

Ron:
Okay.

[Harry has just entered the Chamber of Secrets. He see Ginny Weasley lying motionless at the end of the chamber.]

Harry:
Ginny. [Runs to her] Ginny. Ginny. Please don't be dead. Wake up. Wake up!

Tom Riddle:
[suddenly appears out of nowhere] She won't wake.

Harry:
Tom? Tom Riddle? What do you mean she won't wake? She's not...?

Tom Riddle:
She's still alive, but only just.

Harry:
Are you a ghost?

Tom Riddle:
A memory, preserved in a diary for fifty years.

Harry:
[touches her hand] She's cold as ice. Ginny, please don't be dead. Wake up. [Tom picks up Harry's wand] You've got to help me, Tom. There's a basilisk--

Tom Riddle:
It won't come until it's called.

Harry:
Give me my wand, Tom.

Tom Riddle:
You won't be needing it.

Harry:
Listen, we've got to go, we've got to save her!

Tom Riddle:
I'm afraid I can't do that. You see, as poor Ginny grows weaker... I grow stronger. Yes, Harry. It was Ginny Weasley who opened the Chamber of Secrets.

Harry:
No. She couldn't. I mean, she wouldn't!

Tom Riddle:
It was Ginny who set the basilisk on the mudbloods and Filch's cat. [flashback of Ginny watching the Chamber's entrance in the toilets open] It was Ginny who wrote the threatening messages on the walls. [flashback of Ginny writing the massages]

Harry:
But why?

Tom Riddle:
Because I told her to. You'll find I can be very... persuasive. Not that she knew what she was doing. She was in, shall we say, a kind of trance. Still, the power of the diary began to scare her, and she tried to dispose of it in the girl's bathroom. [flashback of Ginny running into a toilet cubicle and throwing the diary into the toilet] And then who should find it... but you? The very person I was most anxious to meet.

Harry:
And why did you want to meet me?

Tom Riddle:
I knew I had to talk to you, meet you if I could. So I decided to show you my capture of that brainless oaf, Hagrid, to gain your trust.

Harry:
[angrily] Hagrid's my friend! And you framed him, didn't you?

Tom Riddle:
It was my word against Hagrid's. Only Dumbledore seemed to think he was innocent.

Harry:
[smiling] I bet Dumbledore saw right through you.

Tom Riddle:
He certainly kept an annoyingly close watch on me after that. I knew it wouldn't be safe to open the Chamber again while I was still at school, so I decided to leave behind a diary – preserving my sixteen year-old self in its pages so that one day, I would be able to lead another to finish Salazar Slytherin's noble work.

Harry:
Well, you haven't finished it this time. In a few hours, the mandrake draught will be ready and everyone who was petrified will be all right again.

Tom Riddle:
Haven't I told you? Killing mudbloods doesn't matter to me anymore. For many months now, my new target... has been you. How is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent was able to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape, with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?

Harry:
Why do you care how I escaped? Voldemort was after your time.

Tom Riddle:
Voldemort... is my past, present, and future. [uses Harry's wand to write his full name in midair: TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE. He slashes the wand and the letters rearrange to become I AM LORD VOLDEMORT, before they fade]

Harry:
[stunned] You. You're the heir of Slytherin. You're Voldemort.

Tom Riddle:
Surely, you didn't think I was going to keep my filthy Muggle father's name? No. I fashioned myself a new name. A name I knew wizards everywhere would one day fear to speak, when I became the greatest sorcerer in the world!

Harry:
Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world!

Tom Riddle:
Dumbledore's been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me!

Harry:
He'll never be gone! Not as long as those who remain are loyal to him! [Fawkes suddenly enters the chamber] Fawkes? [Fawkes drops the Sorting Hat to Harry and leaves]

Tom Riddle:
So... this is what Dumbledore sends his great defender: a songbird and an old hat. [turns to the statue of Salazar Slytherin and speaks in Parseltongue] Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four. [The statue's mouth begins to open] Let's match the power of Lord Voldemort, Heir of Slytherin, against the famous Harry Potter. [The basilisk's snout emerges from the mouth; Harry turns and runs as the creature fully emerges] [in Parseltongue] Kill him! [to Harry] Parseltongue won't save you now, Potter! It only obeys me!

Lucius Malfoy:
The culprit has been identified, I presume?

Albus Dumbledore:
Oh, yes.

Lucius Malfoy:
And...? Who was it?

Albus Dumbledore:
[after exchanging a look with Harry] Voldemort.

Lucius Malfoy:
Ah.

Albus Dumbledore:
Only this time, he chose to act through somebody else... by means of this. [He reveals Tom Riddle's diary – which Lucius had slipped into Ginny's cauldron. Dobby tugs Harry's sleeve uneasily and looks over at Lucius.]

Lucius:
I see.

Dumbledore:
Fortunately, our young Mr. Potter discovered it. One hopes that no more of Voldemort's old school things should find their way into innocent hands. The consequences for the one responsible would be... severe.

Lucius Malfoy:
Well... let us hope that Mr. Potter will always be around to save the day.

Harry:
Don't worry. I will be.

Harry:
Mr. Malfoy. Mr. Malfoy! [Lucius turns around] I have something of yours. [Hands him the diary]

Lucius Malfoy:
Mine? I don't know what you're talking about.

Harry:
Oh, I think you do, sir. I think you slipped the diary into Ginny Weasley's cauldron, that day at Diagon Alley.

Lucius Malfoy:
You do, do you? [Hands the diary to Dobby] Well...[Whispers] why don't you prove it? [Harry doesn't answer because he just did] Come, Dobby.

Harry:
[Whispers to Dobby] Open it.

[Dobby opens Tom Riddle's Diary to find a folded sock inside.]

Lucius Malfoy:
Dobby?

Dobby:
Master has given Dobby a sock.

Lucius Malfoy:
What? [Turns around] I didn't give–

Dobby:
[Holding the sock in delight] Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!

[Harry pulls up his pant leg, revealing it was his sock]

Lucius Malfoy:
[Furious] You lost me my SERVANT! [Pulls his wand from his cane and aims it directly at Harry. Dobby then stands in his way]

Dobby:
You shall not harm Harry Potter!

Lucius Malfoy:
[About to curse Harry] Avada– [Dobby blasts him backwards across the hall; Lucius stands] Your parents were meddlesome fools, too. Mark my words, Potter. One day soon, you're going to meet the same, sticky end. [Leaves]

Dobby:
Harry Potter freed Dobby. How can Dobby ever repay him?

Harry:
Just promise me something.

Dobby:
Anything, sir.

Harry:
Never try to save my life again.

Hermione:
He called me a Mudblood.

Hagrid:
[Stunned] He did not.

Harry:
What's a Mudblood?

Hermione:
It means "dirty blood". Mudblood's a really foul name for someone who is Muggle-born. Someone with non-magic parents. Someone like me. It's not a term one usually hears in civilized conversation.

[Harry, Ron, and Hermione are walking along a hallway.]

Ron:
Do you think it's true? Do you think there really is a Chamber of Secrets?

Hermione':
Yes. Couldn't you tell? McGonagall's worried. All the teachers are.

Harry:
But if there really is a Chamber of Secrets, a-and it really has been opened, then that means–

Hermione:
The heir of Slytherin has returned to Hogwarts. The question is: who is it?

[As Harry, Ron, and Hermione are talking, Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle pass by them.]

Ron:
Let's think, who do we know who thinks all Muggle-borns are scum?

Hermione:
If you're talking about Malfoy–

Ron:
Of course, you heard him. "You'll be next, Mudbloods."

Hermione:
I heard him. But Malfoy, the heir of Slytherin?

Harry:
Maybe Ron's right, Hermione. I mean, look at his family. The whole lot of them have been in Slytherin for centuries.

Ron:
Crabbe and Goyle must know. Maybe we could trick them into telling.

Hermione:
Even they aren't that thick. But there might be another way.

[Harry, Ron, and Hermione stop walking.]

Hermione:
Mind you, it would be difficult. Not to mention we'd be breaking about fifty school rules. And it'll be dangerous. Very dangerous.

[In the library, Hermione takes a book about Polyjuice Potion from a shelf and goes over to Harry and Ron, who are trying to find which books they should take from a shelf.]

Hermione:
Here it is. The Polyjuice Potion. [Reads from the book] "Properly brewed, the Polyjuice Potion allows the drinker to transform himself temporarily into the physical form of another."

Ron:
You mean, if Harry and I drink that stuff, we'll turn into Crabbe and Goyle?

Hermione:
Yes.

Ron:
Wicked! Malfoy will tell us anything.

Hermione:
Exactly. But it's tricky. I've never seen a more complicated potion.

Harry:
Well, how long will it take to make?

Hermione:
A month.

Harry:
A month? But Hermione, if Malfoy is the heir of Slytherin, he could attack half the Muggle-borns in the school by then.

Hermione:
I know. But it's the only plan we've got.

[Malfoy starts groaning in pain while lying on a bed. Crabbe and Goyle sit on the bed. Madame Pomfrey comes into the hospital wing holding a Skele-Gro bottle.]

Madame Pomfrey:
Mr. Malfoy, stop making such a fuss! You can go!

[Madame Pomfrey approaches a group of students, who are gathering around Harry, who is lying on another bed.]

Madame Pomfrey:
[Motions for some of the students to move out of the way] Out of my way! Out of my way!

[Some of the students move out of the way for Madame Pomfrey to approach a table and put the Skele-Gro bottle down.]

Madame Pomfrey:
You should've been brought straight to me. I can mend bones in a heartbeat, but growing them back–

Hermoine:
You will be able to, won't you?

Madame Pomfrey:
Oh, I'll be able to, certainly. But it'll be painful.

[Madame Pomfrey pours Skele-Gro into a glass.]

Madame Pomfrey:
You're in for a rough night, Potter. Regrowing bones is a nasty business.

[Madame Pomfrey gives the glass to Harry. Harry takes the glass and drinks from it, but spits the Skele-Gro out in disgust.]

Madame Pomfrey:
Well, what do you expect? Pumpkin juice?

Dobby:
[Hops on the bed] Listen. Listen! Terrible things are about to happen at Hogwarts. Harry Potter must not stay here, now that history is to repeat itself.

Harry:
Repeat itself? You mean this has happened before?

Dobby:
[Gasps and covers his mouth] I shouldn't have said that! [Picks up the Skele-Gro bottle and hits himself on the head with it repeatedly] Bad Dobby! Bad!

Harry:
Stop it, Dobby! [Takes the bottle off of Dobby's hands and violently grabs him by the mark collar] Tell me Dobby. When did this happen before? Who's doing it now?

Dobby:
Dobby cannot say, sir. Dobby only wants Harry Potter to be safe.

Harry:
No, Dobby. Tell me. Who is it?

[Dobby hears someone coming. He snaps his fingers and vanishes into thin air.]

[Harry runs into the Gryffindor common room. Ron and Hermione follow him.]

Ron:
[Stops Harry] You're a Parselmouth? Why didn't you tell us?

Harry:
[Confused] I'm a what?

Hermione:
You can talk to snakes.

Harry:
I know. I mean, I accidentally set a python on my cousin Dudley at the zoo once. Once. But so what? I bet loads of people here can do it.

Hermione:
No, they can't. It's not a very common gift, Harry. This is bad.

Harry:
What's bad? If I hadn't told that snake not to attack Justin–

Ron:
That's what you said to it!

Harry:
You were there. You heard me.

Ron:
I heard you speaking Parseltongue. Snake language.

Harry:
[Surprised] I spoke a different language?

[Ron nods.]

Harry:
But I didn't realize– How can I speak a language without knowing I can?

Hermione:
I don't know, Harry, but it sounded like you were egging the snake on or something. Harry, listen to me. There's a reason the symbol of Slytherin house is a serpent. Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth. He could talk to snakes too.

Ron:
Exactly. Now the whole school's gonna think you're his great-great-great grandson or something.

Harry:
But I'm not! I can't be.

Hermione:
He lived a thousand years ago. For all we know, you could be.

[In the Gryffindor common room, the Gryffindor students are talking with each other when McGonagall walks in holding a scroll.]

McGonagall:
Could I have your attention, please? Because of recent events, these new rules will be put into effect immediately. [Reads the scroll] "All students will return to their house common rooms by 6:00 every evening. All students will be escorted to each lesson by a teacher. No exceptions." I should tell you this. Unless the culprit behind these attacks is caught, it is likely the school will be closed.

[McGonagall walks out. The students resume talking with each other. Harry turns to Ron.]

Harry:
We've got to talk to Hagrid, Ron. I can't believe it's him. But if he did set the monster loose last time, he'll know how to get inside the Chamber of Secrets. And that's a start.

Ron:
But you heard McGonagall. We're not allowed to leave the tower except for class.

Harry:
I think it's time to get my dad's old cloak out again.

[Hagrid is making tea when he hears a knock on his door.]

Hagrid:
[Points a crossbow] Who's there? [Kicks the door open and points the crossbow outside] Hello? Hello?

[Harry and Ron remove the Invisibility Cloak.]

Harry:
What's that for?

Hagrid:
Oh, nothing. I was expecting. It doesn't matter. Come on in. I just made a pot of tea.

[Hagrid pours tea in a cup.]

Harry:
Hagrid, are you okay?

Hagrid:
I'm fine. I'm alright.

Harry:
Did you hear about Hermione?

Hagrid:
Oh, yeah. I heard about that, alright.

Harry:
Look, we have to ask you something.

[Harry, Ron, and Hagrid hear a knock on the door.]

Hagrid:
Quick, under the cloak. Don't say a word and be quiet, both of you.

[Harry and Ron go over to a corner. Ron throws the cloak over himself and Harry.]

Harry Potter:
We know one thing. Hagrid never opened the Chamber of Secrets. He was innocent.

Ron Weasley:
[When seeing the Gryffindor team and the Slytherin team confronting each other] Uh-oh. I smell trouble.

Ron Weasley:
That would be a cheerful visit. "Hello, Hagrid. Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"

Hermione Granger:
"The Chamber of Secrets has been opened, Enemies of the heir, beware." It's written in blood.

Hermione Granger:
[About Myrtle] She's a little sensitive.

Albus Dumbledore:
In light of recent events, as a school treat– all exams have been cancelled!

Ginny Weasley:
Harry, it was me. But I swear. I didn't mean to. Riddle made me, and– [Looks at Harry's wound from the snake he killed] Harry, you're hurt.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Yes, Potter, the process is nearly complete. In a few minutes, Ginny Weasley will be dead. And I will cease to be a memory. Lord Voldemort will return– very– much– alive.