Jaws

Hooper:
I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch.

Quint:
Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

Mayor Vaughn:
Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock.

Mayor Vaughn:
Martin, it's all psychological. You yell barracuda, everybody says, "Huh? What?" You yell shark, we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.

Quint:
You go in the cage, cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water, our shark.

Hooper:
You were on the Indianapolis?

Brody:
What happened?

Quint:
Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

Sean Brody:
Get out of the water!

Christine 'Chrissie' Watkins:
Come on into the water!

Ellen Brody:
Excuse me, but what are you talking about? Didn't they catch the shark this afternoon? It was on the Cape station news.

Hooper:
They caught a shark, not the shark. Big difference. I could've proved it this afternoon, by cutting that one open and examining his stomach contents. Also, his bite was too small.

Brody:
What day is this?

Hooper:
Wednesday... No, it's Tuesday, I think.

Brody:
Think the tide's with us?

Hooper:
Just keep kicking.

Brody:
Y'know, I used to hate the water...

Hooper:
I can't imagine why.

Mayor Vaughn:
What kind of a shark did you say it was?

Hooper:
Carcaradon carcharias. A Great White.

Hooper:
Out there is a Perfect Engine, an Eating Machine that is a miracle of evolution - it swims and eats and makes little baby sharks, that's all. Look at that! Those proportions are correct.

Hooper:
I know sharks.

Mayor Vaughn:
You'd love to prove that. Getting your name in the National Geographic.

Hooper:
He ate the light.

Hooper:
ha,ha-they're all gonna die.

Hooper:
That's a twenty footer.

Quint:
Twenty-five. Three tons of him.

Brody:
I can do anything, I'm the chief of police.

Hooper:
This was no boat accident.

Hooper:
Didn't you get on a boat and check out these waters?

Brody:
No.

Hooper:
Well this is not a boat accident. It wasn't any propeller, it wasn't any coral reef, and it wasn't Jack the Ripper. It was a shark.

Quint:
You've got city boy hands, Hooper. You been countin' money all your life.

Hooper:
I don't need this working-class-hero crap.

Brody:
You're gonna need a bigger boat.

Brody:
It doesn't make any sense when you pay a guy like you to watch sharks.

Hooper:
Well, uh, it doesn't make much sense for a guy who hates the water to live on an island either.

Brody:
It's only an island if you look at it from the water.

Hooper:
That makes a lot of sense.

Mayor Vaughn:
I don't think either of you are familiar with our problems.

Hooper:
I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you on the ass.

Hooper:
Mr. Vaughan, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.

Quint:
Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.

Quint:
Here lies the body of Mary Lee; died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years she kept her viginity; not a bad record for this vicinity.

Quint:
I know a taxidermy man back home. He gonna have a heart attack when he see what I brung him.

Brody:
"Slow ahead." I can go slow ahead. Come on down here and chum some of this sh*t.

Quint:
The thing about a shark, it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white.

Brody:
Smile you son of a B*TCH.

Brody:
I used to hate the water.

Hooper:
I can't imagine why.

Mayor Vaughn:
We have caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers.

Quint:
Front, bow. Back, stern. If ya don't get it right, squirt, I throw your ass out the little round window on the side.

Ellen Brody:
Martin hated the water. He won't go in the water and he sits in the car when we go on the ferry to the mainland. There's a clinical name for what he has, I think it's...

Brody:
Drowning.

Hooper:
Fast fish.

Brody:
That's some bad hat, Harry.

Quint:
Hooper ya idiot. Starboard. Aint you watchin' it?

Pratt:
I'll stuff your friggin' head in there, man, and find out whether or not it's a man-eater.

Mayor Vaughn:
Any special questions?

Denherder:
Uh, is that $3000 bounty on the shark in cash or check?

Mrs. Taft:
I don't think that's funny. I don't think that's funny at all, I'm sorry.

Hooper:
Ah. Just like I thought... He came up with the Gulf Stream - from southern waters.

Brody:
He didn't eat a car, did he?

Brody:
What are you doing? These are your people out there.

Hendricks:
Those aren't my people. Did you see all the license plates out in the parking lot? Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey... I'm all by myself out there.

Hooper:
Dammit, Martin! This is compressed air!

Brody:
Well, what the hell kind of a knot was that?

Hooper:
You pulled the wrong one. You screw around with these tanks, and they're gonna blow up!

Quint:
Yeah, that's real fine expensive gear you brought out here, Mr. Hooper. 'Course I don't know what that bastard shark's gonna do with it, might eat it I suppose. Seen one eat a rockin' chair one time. Hey chieffy, next time you just ask me which line to pull, right?

Brody:
Take this stuff back to the office and get to work on those signs. "Beaches Closed - No Swimming. By the Order of the Amity PD". And let Polly do the printing.

Hendricks:
What's the matter with my printing?

Mayor Vaughn:
I'm only trying to say that Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars. Now, if the people can't swim here, they'll be glad to swim at the beaches of Cape Cod, the Hamptons, Long Island...

Brody:
That doesn't mean we have to serve them up a smorgasbord.

Hendricks:
So then Denherder and Charlie sat there trying to catch their breath - and to figure out how to tell Charlie's wife what happened to her freezer full of meat.

Brody:
That's not funny. That's not funny at all.

Brody:
Yeah, but I'm not drunk enough to go out on a boat.

Hooper:
Yes, you are.

Brody:
No, I'm not.

Hooper:
Yes, you are.

Brody:
I can't do that.

Hooper:
Yes, you can.

Ellen Brody:
Wanna get drunk and fool around?

Brody:
Oh Yeah.

Brody:
On the water?

Hooper:
Well, if we're looking for a shark we're not gonna find it on the land.

Hooper:
Boys, oh boys... I think he's come back for his noon feeding.

Quint:
I'll drink to your leg.

Hooper:
I'll drink to your leg.

Quint:
Okay, we'll drink to our legs!

Quint:
Hooper, what exactly can you do with these things of yours?

Hooper:
Well, I think I can pump around 20 cc's of strictnine nitrate into him, that is if I can get close enough.

Quint:
Get this little needle through his skin?

Hooper:
No, I can't do that. But, if I can get him close enough to this cage, I think that I can get him in the mouth or the eye...

Brody:
That shark will tear that cage to pieces!

Hooper:
YOU GOT ANY BETTER SUGGESTIONS?

Christine 'Chrissie' Watkins:
GOD HELP ME!

"Here's to swimmin' with bowlegged women."-Quint

Hooper drives the boat Cheif

Mayor Vaughn:
We're really a little anxious that you're, ah, you're rushing into something serious here. It's your first summer, you know.

Chief Brody:
What does that mean?

Mayor Vaughn:
I'm only trying to say that Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars. If people can't swim here, they'll be glad to swim in the beaches of Cape Cod, the Hamptons, Long Island.

Chief Brody:
That doesn't mean we have to serve them up as smorgasbord.

Harry Meadows:
We've never had that kind of trouble in these waters.

[Martin and the Medical Examiner walk Matt Hooper into the morgue]

Chief Brody:
Why don't we show Mr. Hooper our accident?

[Martin gets the remains out of a locker while Hooper reads aloud the paper report]

Hooper:
Uh, victim's name is Christine Watkins, female caucasian...probable boating accident. The height and weight of the victim can only be estimated from the partial remains.

[Hooper uncovers the tray of the remains, panting in nausea and shock]

Hooper:
The torso has been severed in mid-thorax. There are no major organs remaining. May I have a glass of water please?

Medical Examiner:
Sure.

Hooper:
Right arm has been severed with massive tissue loss in the upper musculature. Thank you very much.

[Hooper sips his water]

Hooper:
Partially denuded bone remaining. [to inspector] This was no boating accident. [to Brody] Did you notify the Coast Guard about this?

Chief Brody:
No. It was only local jurisdiction.

Hooper:
The left arm, head, shoulder, sternum, and portions of the rib cage are intact. [to Brody] Do not smoke in here! Thank you very much. [Holds up arm] This is what happens. It indicates the non-frenzy feeding of a large squalus, possibly longimonus, or Isurus Glaucus. Now, the enormous amount of tissue loss prevents any detailed analysis. However the attacking squalus must be considerably larger than any normal squalus found in these waters. Did you get on a boat and check these waters?

Chief Brody:
No.

Hooper:
[to Inspector] Well, this is not a boating accident! It wasn't any propeller, it wasn't any coral reef, and it wasn't Jack the Ripper! It was a shark.

Hooper:
Martin, there's all kinds of sharks in the water, you know? Hammerheads, whitetips, blues, makos, and the possibility that these bozos caught the exact shark that-

Chief Brody:
Oh, there's no other shark like this in these waters!

Hooper:
Martin, Martin, it's a hundred to one. A hundred to one. Now, I'm not saying it's not the shark. It probably is, Martin, it probably is! It's a man-eater, it's extremely rare for these waters. But the fact is, the bite radius on this animal is different than the wounds on the victim. I just- I wanna be sure. You wanna be sure, we all wanna be sure, okay? Now, what I wanna do is very simple; the digestive system on this animal is very, very slow. Let's cut it open, whatever it's eaten in the past 24 hours is bound to still be in there, and then we'll be sure.

Chief Brody:
...well, I guess it would be the only way to confirm it, huh?

Mayor Vaughn:
Look, fellas, let's be reasonable. This is not the time or the place, to perform some half-assed autopsy on a fish. And I am not going to stand here and see that thing cut open, and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock!

Mrs. Kintner:
Chief Brody?

Chief Brody:
Yes?

[Mrs. Kintner slaps Brody and sobs]

Mrs. Kintner:
I just found out, that a girl got killed here last week, and you knew it! You knew there was a shark out there! You knew it was dangerous! But you let people go swimming anyway? You knew all those things! But still my boy is dead now. And there's nothing you can do about it. My boy is dead. I wanted you to know that.

[Mrs. Kintner walks away]

Mayor Vaughn:
I'm sorry, Martin. She's wrong.

Chief Brody:
(heartbroken) No, she's not.

Ellen:
Martin hates boats. Martin hates water. Martin - Martin sits in his car when we go on the ferry to the mainland. I guess it's a childhood thing. It's a - there's a clinical name for it, isn't there?

Chief Brody:
Drowning! Isn't it true that most people are attacked by sharks in three feet of water and about ten feet from the beach.

Hooper:
Yes, that's true.

Chief Brody:
And that... and that before people started to swim for recreation - I mean before sharks knew what they were missing - that a lot of these attacks weren't reported?

Hooper:
That's right.

Chief Brody:
Now this shark that, that swims alone...

Hooper:
A rogue.

Chief Brody:
Rogue, yeah, now this guy, he - he keeps swimming around in a place where the feeding is good until the food supply is gone, right?

Hooper:
It's called "territoriality". It's just a theory that I happen to... agree with.

Chief Brody:
Then why don't we have one more drink and go down and cut that shark open.

Ellen:
Martin? Can you do that?

Chief Brody:
I can do anything, I'm the chief of police.

Hooper:
[he and Martin have just taken the recently caught tiger shark to a boathouse for an autopsy] We start in the alimentary canal, and open the digestive tract. [stomach fluid pours out as Hooper cuts the shark open, and throws out 2 dead fish and a can] Ah! Just like I thought.

Chief Brody:
What?

Hooper:
Came up in the Gulf stream, from southern waters. [throws out a Louisiana license plate; Chief Brody picks it up and examines it]

Chief Brody:
He didn't eat a car, did he?

Hooper:
No. [laughs] Tiger shark's like a garbage can, it'll eat anything. Someone probably threw that in the river. [slides over to Chief Brody] Hoo, that's it.

Chief Brody:
[now knowing the crisis hasn't been resolved yet] I've got to close the beach, call the mayor.

Hooper:
You've got a bigger problem than that, Martin. You still got a hell of a fish out there, with a mouth about this big. [gestures with his hands demonstrating the width of a big mouth]

Chief Brody:
This is a great white, Larry. A big one. Any shark expert in the world will tell you it's a killer, it's a man-eater!

Hooper:
Look, the situation is that apparently a great white shark has staked a claim in the waters off Amity island. And he is going to continue to feed here as long as there is food in the water.

Chief Brody:
And there's no limit of what he's going to do. I mean we've already had three incidents. Two people were killed in a week and it's gonna happen again. It happened before, The Jersey Beach, 1916. Five people were killed.

Hooper:
In one week.

Chief Brody:
Tell him about the swimmers!

Hooper:
A shark is attracted to the exact kind of splashing and activity that occurs whenever human beings go swimming. You cannot avoid it.

Chief Brody:
You open the beaches on the Fourth of July, it's is like ringing the dinner bell for Christ's sake!

Hooper:
Look Mr. Vaughn, I pulled a tooth the size of a shot glass out of the wrecked hull of a boat out there and it was the tooth of a great white.

Chief Brody:
It was Ben Gardner's boat, it was all chewed up. I helped tow it in, you should've seen it!

Mayor Vaughn:
Where is that tooth? Did you see it, Brody?

Chief Brody:
No, I didn't see it. He dropped it on the way in.

Hooper:
I had an accident.

Mayor Vaughn:
And what did you say the name of this shark is?

Hooper:
It's a Carcharodon carcharias. It's a great white.

Mayor Vaughn:
And you don't have the tooth? Look, we depend on the summer people here for our very lives-

Hooper:
You're not gonna have a summer unless you deal with this problem!

Chief Brody:
We're not only going to have to close the beach, we're going to have to hire somebody to kill the shark! I mean we're going to have to tell the Coast Guard!

Hooper:
Mr. Vaughn, you'll have to contact the Shark Research Panel. You'll have to ring this entire harbor!

Mayor Vaughn:
I don't think either one of you are familiar with our problems!

Hooper:
I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you IN THE ASS! Now wait a second, wait a second. There are two ways to deal with this problem: you either kill this animal, or you're gonna cut off his food supply!

Hooper:
Mr. Vaughn, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks, and that's all. Now, why don't you take a long, close look at this sign. [refers to billboard graffiti] Those proportions are correct.

Mayor Vaughn:
Love to prove that, wouldn't ya? Get your name into the National Geographic.

[In the hospital, Martin walks over to Larry]

Mayor Vaughn:
I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry.

[Martin pulls Larry aside]

Chief Brody:
You got a pen, Larry?

Mayor Vaughn:
A pen?

Chief Brody:
Yeah, a pen! You know. 'Cause you're gonna do what you do best: you're gonna sign this voucher so I can hire a contractor.

Mayor Vaughn:
I don't think I can do that without-

Chief Brody:
I'm gonna hire Quint to kill the shark!

[Larry nods, and starts to think]

Mayor Vaughn:
August, August...

Chief Brody:
August? What are you talking about? Larry, summer's over. You're the mayor of "Shark City!" These people think you want the beaches open!

Mayor Vaughn:
I was-I was acting-in the town's best interest-

Chief Brody:
That's right! You were! You were acting in the town's best interest, and that's why you're gonna do the right thing! That's why you're gonna sign this, and we're gonna pay that guy what he wants!

Mayor Vaughn:
Martin...Martin, my kids were on that beach too.

Chief Brody:
Sign it, Larry.

[Larry signs it, and Martin walks out]

Quint:
I'm not talkin' about pleasure boatin' or day sailin'. I'm talkin' about workin' for a livin'. I'm talkin' about sharkin'.

Hooper:
Well I'm not talkin' about hookin' some poor dogfish or sand shark. I'm talkin' about findin' a Great White.

Quint:
Porkers? Ya talkin' about Porkers, Mr. Hooper? [stares at Hooper] Tie me a sheep shank. [gives Hooper some rope]

Hooper:
I haven't had to pass basic seamanship in a long time. [ties the knot expertly] You didn't say how short you wanted it. [tosses rope back to Quint]

Quint:
Gimme your hands... [Quint grabs Hooper's wrists and looks at his hands and examines them] Dogfish? [contemptuously] You've got city boy hands, Hooper. You been countin' money all your life.

Hooper:
[pulls away] All right, hey, I don't need this! I don't need this working-class-hero crap!

Quint:
Maybe I should go alone.

Quint:
[seeing Hooper's equipment] What are you? Some kind of half-assed astronaut? [examining the shark cage] Jesus H. Christ, when I was a boy, every little squirt wanted to be a harpooner or a sword fisherman. What d'ya have there - a portable shower or a monkey cage?

Hooper:
Anti-shark cage.

Quint:
Anti-shark cage. You go inside the cage? Cage goes in the water? You go in the water? Shark's in the water? Our shark? [singing] "Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again."

‘Sometimes that Shark, he’ll go away....sometimes he won’t. Circling around in agonizing smaller and smaller circles afore he goes in for the kill chiefy!’

‘Y’know chiefy he’s a lingerin just below the surface. When that dorsal fin breaks the water....haha, you might as well ring that dinner bell. Hehehehe!????

‘out on the water you being the chief and me the great white shark hunter, is meaningless to that fish....you reckon? ‘ Still plan on setting foot on 0rca’s deck?’ Or did ya change yer mind chiefy?’

‘Back in the summer of ‘64, 29 kids go in the water (as he gestures yonder).... ?

???? ???? ya me sweet Spanish ladies....22 come back out! Ice cream man tuk the rest of em (loudly)....all 7 of em chiefy, all 7!’

It’s lines like these that I love quoting, in true Quint fashion, snuggle tooth unshaven and scraggly looking.

No, not me....him! Great actor, late Robert Shaw who fit that part like a glove. Awesome book and movie thx to Peter Benchley and Steven Spielberg. Cheers!

You go into the cage?

The cage goes into the water?

The shark is in the water .

Ha ha

Farewell and adieu my dear Spanish ladies

Farewell and adieu ladies of Spain

farewell and adieu to you fair spanish ladies!

You're gonna need a bigger boat.

"Here's to Swimmin with Bowlegged Women"

*Ain’t too good, is it chiefly? - Quint to chief Broady as a fails making a sheep shank knot.