Jeffrey

Jeffrey:
But Darius is a dancer. He's in "Cats."

Sterling:
Exactly. I said you needed a boyfriend, not a person.

Sterling:
You know, Darius once said you were the saddest person he knew.

Jeffrey:
Why did he day that?

Sterling:
Because he was sick. He had a fatal disease. And he was a million times happier than you.

Jeffrey:
I will find a substitute for sex. Sex Lite. Sex Helper. I Can't Believe It's Not Sex!

Acolyte:
I can walk!

Jeffrey:
You could always walk.

Acolyte:
Shut up.

Jeffrey:
She looked good.

Sterling:
Please, she's had work done.

Darius:
Just think of AIDS as the guest that won't leave, the one we all hate. But you have to remember: Hey! It's still our party.

Darius:
Who's Martha Stewart?

Sterling:
She writes picture books about gracious living. Martha says that nothing else matters if you can do a nice dried floral arrangement. I worship her.

Darius:
And, um, who's Ann Miller?

Sterling:
Leave this house.

Jeffrey:
Wait! You're really a priest?

Father Dan:
Of course.

Jeffrey:
But... I mean, aren't you supposed to be straight and celibate?

Father Dan:
Maybe you didn't hear me. I'm a CATHOLIC priest. Historically, that falls somewhere between chorus boy and florist.

Mom:
Sweetheart, are you a top or a bottom?

Dave:
Hi, my name is Dave and I am sexually compulsive.

Jeffrey:
Dad, I am not going to have phone sex with you and mom!

Sterling:
Two cappuccinos. Thank you, darling. Big kiss. The earring - fun... last year.

Barney's Waiter:
BI-SEXUAL!

Sterling:
Oh, me too...