A Distant Trumpet

Pvt Cranshaw:
I wish that there was some way that you could cut regulations and bring her out here. It sure would make things more tolerable. She could even sleep with me, just like at home.

2nd Lt. Matthew 'Matt' Hazard:
You can't bring your wife out here until you are a three striper.

Pvt Cranshaw:
Wife, sir? I ain't got none.

2nd Lt. Matthew 'Matt' Hazard:
Well, you can't take your girlfriend into the barracks, either!

Pvt Cranshaw:
She ain't no human girl. She's the best old blue-tick coonhound in Kentuck.

2nd Lt. Matthew 'Matt' Hazard:
There's nothing the matter with these recruits, sir. The matter is with the training and the discipline.

Mrs. Kitty Mainwarring:
You're a hard man, a duty man. It's your only love, really.

2nd Lt. Matthew 'Matt' Hazard:
Is there a better kind?

Mrs. Kitty Mainwarring:
Well, speaking as a normal woman, yes; as an Army woman, no.

2nd Lt. Matthew 'Matt' Hazard:
He once said at the Academy the Army is a jealous mistress.

Laura Frelief:
And he loves her. That's why he's an old batchelor.

2nd Lt. Matthew 'Matt' Hazard:
All right, now take a good look at them. It's going to make killing Apaches a lot easier They were buried alive. Those ants are eating their brains out!