A Simple Curve

Matthew:
Tell him to f*** off.

Caleb:
Tell who to f*** off?

Matthew:
Jim. You gotta tell him to f*** right the hell off.

Caleb:
What are you talking about?

Matthew:
You love him right?

Caleb:
Yeah.

Matthew:
Then that's what you have to do. Look. Jim told his dad to f*** off. He said "Pops, I'm moving to Canada. F*** you, I'm gonna grow my hair long." I told my dad to f*** off, they told their dads to f*** off. This is the history of western people, Caleb, I mean it's about the only meaningful tradition we have left.

Caleb:
...[thinking]... You know, we really don't have that kind of a relationship.

Matthew:
That's precisely what I'm saying.

Caleb:
I lost my virginity on a log near the mouth of Wilson Creek, and the reason I bring that up is because the other lucky participant of that event - um, Mary Shackleford - is, um, as it turns out, our waitress for the evening.

Caleb:
The water keeps you young, the mountains keep you wise, the lake keeps you grounded. I might have that in the wrong order.

Caleb:
You ate my placenta.

Jim:
Marjorie and I did.

Caleb:
So, how am I supposed to explain that?

Jim:
To who?

Caleb:
To ANYONE.