A Touch of Class

Vickie Allessio:
My one chance to get raped, and you can't get your bloody trousers off.

Steve Blackburn:
I suppose your husband likes to sleep late on Sundays?

Vickie Allessio:
Yes, he does.

Steve Blackburn:
I suppose you like to go home and cook him a nice big breakfast?

Vickie Allessio:
No.

Steve Blackburn:
Don't you like to cook?

Vickie Allessio:
Oh, I love to cook.

Steve Blackburn:
Doesn't he like to eat?

Vickie Allessio:
He loves to eat.

Steve Blackburn:
I, I don't understand.

Vickie Allessio:
We have different kitchens, his is in Milan.

Steve Blackburn:
It's a shame!

Vickie Allessio:
Please don't cry, he found another cook.

Vickie Allessio:
Don't cross-examine me in the rain. I'll be there. Wet. But I'll be there.

Vickie Allessio:
[Steve has just asked Vickie to lunch] Oh, what the hell. A girl has to eat.

Vickie Allessio:
I'm sorry to bother you at this late hour, but do you have oregano?

Dora French:
Christ, I hope not! I had a checkup last week.

Vickie Allessio:
I'm beginning to sound like a wife.

Man Hailing Cab at End:
Taxi!

Vickie Allessio:
Oh!

Man Hailing Cab at End:
Would you care to share it?

Vickie Allessio:
Are you married?

Man Hailing Cab at End:
Yeah.

Vickie Allessio:
You take it.

Patty Menkes:
Maybe you and Mr. Allessio would have dinner with me and my husband some night.

Vickie Allessio:
Well, that's very kind of you, but I'm afraid I'm right out of Mr. Allessios.

Vickie Allessio:
God, you're all the same. This obsession with male sexual prowess. It is so typically American.

Steve Blackburn:
Oh, is it?

Vickie Allessio:
It is, if you don't mind me telling you.

Steve Blackburn:
I don't mind you telling me, not a bit. But it's just that phrase I can't stand - "typically American".

Vickie Allessio:
Why not?

Steve Blackburn:
Because there's no such thing as typically American.

Vickie Allessio:
Whoa-ho-ho!

Steve Blackburn:
It's a big place, America. Which typically American Americans do you mean? The cab drivers in New York? The coal miners in Pennsylvania? The students at Berkeley? The Mormons in Utah? The Harlem Globetrotters? How about the Daughters of the American Revolution? Are those the ones you mean? I'll tell you something. They're all throwing rocks at each other. The only thing typically American about the two hundred million Americans is that they never do anything typically alike, and that goes for humping too.