Alphas

[opening theme]

Trey Lockerbie:
[singing] Don't take "no" for an answer / 'nd there's no telling where we've been... / 'Cause people don't understand, understand, understand / People don't understand / People like me.

Gary Bell:
My inside voice is too quiet.

John Bennett:
Rachel. I've heard a lot about you.

John Bennett, Rachel Pirzad:
What did you tell him?

Bill Harken:
I didn't tell him anything. But if I did, I would have told him all the good stuff

Gary Bell:
That's cool. It's poison spit.

Rachel Pirzad:
Yeah.

Gary Bell:
It's like a cobra. I like that. He didn't like that, though because it melted his skin. I - I'm being inappropriate.

John Bennett:
I figured while we're on stakeout, you should get to at least choose how I smell. Which really sounded a whole lot better in my head.

Bill Harken:
What do you want me to do, huh? Sit on the floor, burn some incense, say "om"?

Kat:
As much as I'd like to see that, no.

Rachel Pirzad:
What is that smell?

Gary Bell:
[Smells his sleeve] I smell nice. I smell like a washing machine.

Gary Bell:
Yeah. I've been at it all day and I've found bupkis. That means nothing. It's like zilch. I've found zilch.

Gary Bell:
[Asked why he screamed] They killed her.

Dr. Lee Rosen:
What?

Gary Bell:
They killed her. Anna. They shot her in the head. She was my friend.

Gary Bell:
[Referring to how libraries store things] But it's stupid though. I don't know why libraries do this. Dr. Rosen. It's just a big waste of space. They could fit everything in here, just on one microchip.

Dr. Lee Rosen:
Inside voice please Gary.

Gary Bell:
What?

Dr. Lee Rosen:
Inside voice please.

Gary Bell:
My inside voice is too quiet.

Gary Bell:
Rachel, what's wrong? Oh, you look like one of the faces from my expressions chart - j-joyless.

Trisha:
You're Hicks, right? My sister told me about you. She said she kicked your ass at Higland Mills.

Cameron Hicks:
That's not quite how I remember it.

[Gary manages to find Tracy Beaumont]

Don Wilson:
Score one for Rain Man.

Gary Bell:
That's a movie I'm not allowed to watch.

Gary Bell:
I'm a good partner.

Bill Harken:
Yes, you are a good partner.

Gary Bell:
Partners get to drive, Bill.

Bill Harken:
Don't even start that, Gary.

Agent Lou Persky:
Who's this kid?

Gary Bell:
I'm Bill's partner. Gary Bell. I'm, I'm a computer genius. No. I'm a data analyst.

Bill Harken:
Agent Bell is a very gifted member of my team.

Gary Bell:
I'm a high-functioning autistic. Thirty-two on the CARS Scale.

Alonso:
What are you gonna do? Send me back to jail?

Gary Bell:
No. We don't send people to jail. We send them to the compound.

Bill Harken:
Gary.

Gary Bell:
Unless they're dead.

[Gary opens his burrito]

Gary Bell:
Bill, I can't eat this. It's all, it's all mashed together. There's beans and there's rice and meat. There's green stuff.

Bill Harken:
That's good. That's your vegetables. You gotta eat your vegetables.

Gary Bell:
No. There's no division. It needs to be separate.

Bill Harken:
Gary, listen to me. If you want to be a federal agent, you gotta learn to eat on the fly.

Gary Bell:
No. We need to go and tell the FBI that they're wrong.

Bill Harken:
Oh, hell, no.

Gary Bell:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the cartel didn't take Lisa. Alonso told us.

Bill Harken:
No. We're not taking anything anywhere, okay? Until we get more evidence, okay? We have to build a rock-solid case before we take this to Persky. So, it's time to step up our game, partner.

Gary Bell:
Step up our game. Step up our game.

Dr. Lee Rosen:
[voiceover] There are over six billion people on planet Earth. Ordinary folks like you and me. But if you look around carefully, you might find that some of these ordinary folks have extraordinary abilities. I call them Alphas. Some Alphas, like the ones I work with, can do things that would amaze you. Others, the angry, the lost, the afraid, have abilities that, frankly, can be terrifying.

Nathan Clay:
[about Stanton Parish] We'll get him, and he'll never see daylight again, because I'm gonna put him in a room and I'm gonna throw away the room.

Kat:
I kinda look hot with pink highlights.

Dr. Lee Rosen:
How'd it turn out with your son's solar system project?

Nathan Clay:
I did Neptune and Saturn, and had to hear about 300 Uranus jokes.

Cameron Hicks:
Just our luck. It's the closed wing of the hospital.

Bill Harken:
Yeah, just like in a horror movie.

Cameron Hicks:
I'd be careful if I was you. Every single horror movie I have ever seen...

Bill Harken:
Yeah, the white chick is tripping and screaming, yeah.

Cameron Hicks:
No, no, try again.

Bill Harken:
Yeah, the black guy's gonna die first. I don't think so.

Gary Bell:
I dont like horses. They look confused.

Rachel Pirzad:
We need to find out what killed them.

Kat:
[sniffs] Could it be noxious fumes? This places smells like ass.

Rachel Pirzad:
Traces of methane, sulfur, carbon monoxide. It's not enough to be toxic.

Kat:
I'm really surprised you can hack it. One fart in an elevator and you freak out.

Dr. Lee Rosen:
Gary, I'm sorry I haven't been here for you during all of this. I've... I've been busy.

Gary Bell:
Yeah, you were busy. You kidnapped someone, held them prisoner. That takes time.

Zoe:
[to Skyler] Are you a terminator?

[Gary is wearing a high school letterman's jacket]

Nina Theroux:
Gary, take that off. It's not yours.

Gary Bell:
No. It looks better on me. I'm a baller.

Nina Theroux:
How do you even know that word?

Gary Bell:
It's the right word.

Rachel Pirzad:
[sniffs] Lilac perfume. New girlfriend?

Cameron Hicks:
I accidentally bought the wrong soap.

Bill Harken:
Really?

Cameron Hicks:
Yeah.

Bill Harken:
You did? That's definitely the wrong soap, Hicks.

Gary Bell:
Oh, it's Dr. Rosen's daughter. You had pancakes with Dani Rosen?

Cameron Hicks:
Gary, I swear to you, listen. Now you tell anyone about this, I will kill you.

Gary Bell:
No, you wouldn't kill me. That'd be premeditated homicide. You'd go to jail. You'd go to jail.

Gary Bell:
Hicks is distracted by his girl problems. Ha! I don't have girl problems, so I have to stay focused.

Bill Harken:
You're having problems with Nina, huh?

Gary Bell:
No, he had breakfast with Dani Rosen, and she said it "was yummy." But Hicks wouldn't tell me what they ate.

Bill Harken:
Is that so?

Cameron Hicks:
Hmph.

Gary Bell:
Wait, Hicks, was breakfast not really breakfast? Was breakfast sex?

Cameron Hicks:
I am not having this conversation right now.

Gary Bell:
Hicks, I broke your sex code.

Bill Harken:
Dani Rosen?

Cameron Hicks:
With either one of you.

Rachel Pirzad:
Hey, where's Nina? Has anyone heard from her?

Gary Bell:
Hicks hasn't. But he has heard from Dani. He calls her "baby," which is weird, because they are the same age.

Cameron Hicks:
Gary, I will kill you.

Gary Bell:
No, I'll kill you first. I get up at 7:42.

Cameron Hicks:
Well, this muzak is killing me. I'm tired of reading deodorant labels.

Bill Harken:
You could always switch to hemorrhoid cream.

Cameron Hicks:
Douchebag.

Bill Harken:
That would be aisle three, Hicks.

Cameron Hicks:
What, your adrenals kicking your ass? You're kinda looking a little pasty there. I mean, for you.

Bill Harken:
Don't hate. Appreciate. Okay. Besides, which one of us caught someone and which one of us shot and killed a parking meter?

Cameron Hicks:
Friggin' meter had it coming.

Nina Theroux:
We don't use beams.

Dr. Lee Rosen:
Cameron, it's like throwing a quarter. Just like throwing a quarter.

Gary Bell:
You called me a bastard. That's not nice.

Nina Theroux:
You tell 'em, Gary.

Gary Bell:
Yeah, uh - Bill, you know what? You're the bastard.

Bill Harken:
You're right.

Gary Bell:
Come on, guys, get out. This is inappropriate.

Bill Harken:
You're right - this is *definitely* inappropriate.

Gary Bell:
I'm gonna have to take off my towel.

Bill Harken:
No, no, don't, Gary.

Gary Bell:
And you're gonna see my fruit.

Rachel Pirzad:
No!

Bill Harken:
His fruit.

Gary Bell:
Yeah, I call it my fruit.

John Bennett:
Casual Mondays?

Gary Bell:
No, I took a shower. Get out.

Rachel Pirzad:
Excuse me.

Bill Harken:
Unless, of course, you want to see his fruit.

John Bennett:
No, no, I'll pass.

Gary Bell:
We need to lock Nina up. Her office is my man cave, unless she starts using another office, then she doesn't have to go to jail.

Gary Bell:
[Running down the hall] Don't look at me! Don't look at me, I'm not ready yet.

Rachel Pirzad:
Gary!

Bill Harken:
Gary, what the hell are you doing?

Bill Harken, Rachel Pirzad:
Gary!

Bill Harken:
What the hell are you doing?

Rachel Pirzad:
Gary!

Gary Bell:
No, no you guys!

Rachel Pirzad:
Gary, why aren't you dressed?

Gary Bell:
Yeah, I know, I should be dressed by now, but the alarm clock didn't go off. This is a cheap alarm clock. I'm supposed to get up at seven forty two, I call my mom at eight o'clock, then I have my breakfast. It didn't happen. Bill, it's nine o'three. This is chaos!