Android

[first lines]

[Max is listening to Huey Lewis while playing with miniature robots and watching a screen showing the very basics of humans kissing and making love]

Dr. Daniel:
[over the intercom] Max.

[Max switches from the video to the scanners]

Dr. Daniel:
Max?

Max 404:
Yes, Dr. Daniel?

Dr. Daniel:
Max, what is that noise?

[Max turns off the music]

Max 404:
I was doing some research, Sir.

Dr. Daniel:
On what?

Max 404:
[sounding a bit panicky] Earth. The twentieth century.

Dr. Daniel:
Have you logged in, Max?

Max 404:
Uh... no... but, I was...

Dr. Daniel:
Then do it now, Max, and make sure we have shut down for the night.

Max 404:
Yes, Sir.

Dr. Daniel:
I don't want to be disturbed.

Max 404:
Good night, Dr. Daniel.

Dr. Daniel:
Good night, Max.

Max 404:
Oh, and Doctor?

["Blip" sound. No answer. Max sighs before logging in]

Max 404:
Fifteen October, 2036, 0100 hour log-in. As usual... there's nothing to report. Radar reveals a Hermes CP-247... passing... as usual. And that's it.

Max 404:
[dispiritedly] This is Max, signing out.

[after being shocked by eavesdropping on Dr. Daniel and hearing that the "Cassandra Project" is being shut down, Max is shocked again when he is unexpectedly contacted by an approaching spaceship]

Maggie:
Mayday, Mayday! This is SERP Neptune 425946. Do you read me? This is SERP Neptune 425946. Do you read me? Over!

Max 404:
[in wonder] That's a woman's voice!

Maggie:
Mayday! We have a Mayday! This is SERP Neptune 425946. Do you read me? Over!

Max 404:
[transmitting] This is, uh, UL-C53 Station to SERP Neptune, I- I- I read you. What is your Mayday? Over.

Maggie:
We have sustained engine damage. Request permission to dock for repairs. Over.

Max 404:
[stunned] Dock?

Maggie:
Do you read, UL-C53? Request permission to dock. Imperative! Over!

[Max is indecisive over whether to disturb Dr. Daniel]

Max 404:
[transmitting] UL-C53 to SERP Neptune: Permission granted! Direct to pad coordinates Manx Terra Odin Godfrey Two. Do you read me? Over.

[Max waits anxiously for a response]

Max 404:
[transmitting] Do you read coordinates? Over!

Maggie:
Yes, yes, I read you. Acknowledge for approaching Manx Terra Odin Godfrey Two. Do you read? Over.

Max 404:
[transmitting] Yes, correct! This is fantastic!

Maggie:
[to herself] "Fantastic"?

[after a fight against the authorities who wanted them dead, Maggie, Mendes, and Keller are all alive, but furious at each other]

Mendes:
Where the hell did *you* go?

Keller:
Back off, Mendes. I took my man out!

Mendes:
Yeah, and left me with two more!

Maggie:
[backing up Keller, and lying, because she was the one who killed the guy] Yeah, and he also took out the squid on the floor!

[Keller and Maggie exchange looks]

Mendes:
[lets go of Keller, but still sneering] Big hero.

Maggie:
The show's over!

Maggie:
[indicating forward view scanner] Take a look at this.

Mendes:
What is that?

[UL-C53 Station is displayed]

Maggie:
First stop. Better think up an alias, Mendes. Let's lose the bodies.

Keller:
Right.

[Keller runs off the bridge to dispose of the police whom they've killed]

[Max welcomes the fugitives in from their spaceship]

Max 404:
Well, why don't I show you where you'll be staying?

[He leads them into a hall, and a siren goes off. Max turns it off]

Max 404:
I *hate* that alarm.

[He turns to see that the three fugitives are pointing blasters at him]

Max 404:
[unfazed and conciliatory] No, that just means you're carrying weapons. There are no weapons allowed beyond this point. Maggie, the Doctor has *amazingly* strict rules about this.

[Looking at Maggie within the couple of minutes that he met her]

Max 404:
Your lips! They're, uh, quite full, aren't they?

[Maggie's face goes through several emotions:
embarrassment, shyness, appreciation, and realization that Max has never seen a woman before]

Maggie:
Now, let me get this straight. You've got a... what did you call it?

Dr. Daniel:
An android.

Maggie:
Right. That's, uh, like a robot, right?

Dr. Daniel:
That's correct.

Maggie:
And you want to hook me up to this robot and stimulate me.

Dr. Daniel:
Yes.

Maggie:
Stimulate like sex, right?

Dr. Daniel:
Yes.

Maggie:
Brother, you take the prize. That's the weirdest line for getting into my pants that I've ever heard, and I've heard 'em all. I mean, lunch was good, but it wasn't that good.

[Max enters the room where Maggie, Keller, and Mendes are arguing]

Max 404:
Excuse me. I thought you should know that that ship, the police ship, was alone. I've made a thorough check and there's nothing else in the sector. You have nothing to worry about. [Max's smile fades when the others don't thank him] Well, I thought you should know.

Mendes:
Wait a minute! *You* blew that ship?

Max 404:
Yes. [smiling again] I did. Oh, I almost forgot. There's an emergency signal box planted on your ship. That's how they found you. I think you should dismantle it. Right now.

Maggie:
How long have you been up here, Max?

Max 404:
Five years, seven months...

Maggie:
You need a change. [puts her hands around his shoulders]

Max 404:
Yes! That's why I've gotta go with you!

Maggie:
You don't wanna hook up with us.

Max 404:
Why not?

Maggie:
Well, because we may not even make it back to Earth.

Max 404:
I'll take that chance.

Maggie:
Well, that's not the point! [Her tone gentles] I like you. I don't want you caught up in the same mess that I'm in. Mendes and Keller would eat you alive.

Max 404:
They haven't eaten you.

Maggie:
Well, I can handle them and you can't.

Max 404:
Maggie...

Maggie:
Look, I know how to get around them.

Max 404:
I know.

Maggie:
It's not a game, Max!

Max 404:
Maggie! This is my only chance. I'm to be phased out as soon as Cassandra's on her feet. Doctor'll probably turn me into a sprinkler-head for the greenhouse.

Maggie:
You *have* been up here too long. [moves in to kiss him]

Mendes:
What the hell you doin'? Close the goddamned door!

Mendes:
Relax Mendes, we got them all.

Mendes:
There's *five* of them, you moron; we only got four.

Maggie:
Mendes! There's one behind you!

[Mendes whirls around and aims at... a body on the floor]

Maggie:
[calmly] Meet Captain Popov.

Max 404:
I forgot to collect your weapon, Mr. uh... I- I didn't hear - get his...

Keller:
Mr. Popov.

Mendes:
[angrily] "Popov"?

[Keller fixes Mendes with a stern look to name tag on Mendes' uniform]

Max 404:
How do you do, Mr. Popov? Do - do you mind?

[Mendes smiles at Max, deactivates the blaster and gives it to Max, then takes out a second one and angles it toward Keller]

Keller:
Come on.

[Mendes smiles again to Max and gives him the second blaster. Max steps away to lock the guns in a cabinet]

Mendes:
[warningly] Bad move, Keller.

[Max is showing Maggie and Mendes the video center]

Max 404:
There's a wide variety of recreational tapes to choose from.

Mendes:
You've got any good porno strips?

Max 404:
What?

Mendes:
You know: men and women.

Max 404:
Oh! Oh, you mean sexual instruction tapes.

Mendes:
[chuckles]

Max 404:
Well, as a matter of fact Mr. Popov...

Mendes:
[firmly] *Don't* call me that.

[Max is cleaning up the spilled food tray]

Keller:
What kind of work do you do here, Max?

Max 404:
I'm Dr. Daniel's assistant, as I said.

[while Max looks at Keller, the tray slides across the floor into Max's hand by some unseen force]