Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

Anthony:
Pretty much all I know about Sweden comes from travel books and subtitled foreign films.

[Cut to a "Swedish film"; a barren winter landscape narrated by a man and woman speaking in Swedish, with English subtitles]

Man:
When does the bus come?

Woman:
The bus never comes.

Man:
Then I want to die.

Woman:
We all want to die.

[Beat]

Woman:
I hear ABBA is considering a reunion tour.

[Beat]

Man:
Really?

Anthony:
[voiceover] Ahh, Sweden...

[Anthony, in a Swedish design store, has come across a container for bathroom emergencies on long car rides]

Anthony:
You know you're in Sweden when you come across something too damn practical for comment.

Anthony Bourdain:
All this talk about punctured skin is making me hungry.

Anthony Bourdain:
The specialty here is a Colombian peasant specialty since, like, forever.

Anthony Bourdain:
Dear Jeebus, how am I supposed to eat all this and then be able to move?

Anthony Bourdain:
Only when you have been through a really bad time, do you really know what good is.

Anthony Bourdain:
I'm afraid sometimes that by bringing cameras to show how beautiful it is here, I'm helping to destroy it.

Anthony Bourdain:
[In Las Vegas] Kids - - can you imagine? Amusement park rides. That's just so wrong. I mean, it's all about martinis, and hookers, and gambling. I mean, cigarettes. Kids shouldn't see that, except on my show.

Anthony Bourdain:
Man does not live by foie gras alone. It's a noble thing to make a damn good hot dog.

Anthony Bourdain:
I feel your pain, Zamir, I really do.

[sniffs the air]

Anthony Bourdain:
Ooh! I smell pork!

Anthony Bourdain:
Welcome to Camelpalooza!

Anthony Bourdain:
If you're looking for the best food of the western world, forget France. Come to Spain.

Anthony Bourdain:
Not quite as good as Debbie Does Durian, but still fascinating.

Hiimself:
It's a spiritual erection every time.

Anthony Bourdain:
I said sauce on the side! [shoots gun at target]