Hey Todd, about the old girlfriend, can we bury the hatchet, buddy?
I don't know.
I mean it was a one night stand, right? I mean she wasn't even that good looking. A real dead fish, right? She just laid there and took it like a plastic f*** doll.
I happened to have MARRIED that plastic f*** doll!!!
was in Thailand, playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high-stakes game in some opium den. Turned out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat them... they beat me. Worked me over pretty good..... Aaaand this is hard to say... but they held me down... and they shoved a ping pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. I'm damaged goods.
Charlie "Fink" Finklestein:
Ah geeze Barry! I don't know what I'd do if someone shoved a paddle-handle up my ass!
It wasn't the handle! I've been shitting pancakes ever since!
Great Gam Gam:
You and I are not so different Mr. Badrinath. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass. But you know what I did? I got over it!
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"Beerfest Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 15 Dec. 2019. <https://www.quotes.net/movies/beerfest_quotes_13164>.