Bordello of Blood
Private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is hired by repressed, born-again Katherine (Erika Eleniak) to find her missing bad-boy brother. The trail leads him to a whorehouse run by a thousand-year-old vampire (Angie Everhart) and secretly backed by Katherine's boss, televangelist Jimmy Current (Chris Sarandon, wonderfully insincere and smarmy). Not for the squeamish or the easily offended (but you knew that from the title), Bordello of Blood is pulp horror as it should be--funny, fast, and full of gore. How many movies do you know where naked vampire hookers devour the still-beating hearts of their adolescent clients, or where the hero saves the day with a Super Soaker? Dennis Miller is at his wisecracking best as the oddest private eye since Elliot Gould played Philip Marlowe in The Long Goodbye. Angie Everhart devours her role with relish (yum!). And former Playboy Playmate Erika Eleniak seems to be enjoying the joke that in a movie filled with half-naked women, she's the only one who keeps her clothes on. --Geof Miller
Stars: John Kassir, Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak, Angie Everhart
Production: Universal Studios
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I'm here for the, um, Cunningham wake.
I'm afraid the wake is closed tonight. Come back tomorrow.
I, uh, really must pay my respects right now.
Then I suggest you come back TOMORROW.
Maybe you don't understand me. I'm feeling excruciatingly SAD.
I'm so sorry.
And if I don't grieve right now -- maybe even grieve two or three times -- I'm going to go out of my mind, okay?
Then I suggest you go mourn somewhere in private -- with a box of tissues!
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