Brighton Beach Memoirs

Kate:
How many times have I told you not to leave your things around the house?

Eugene:
A hundred and nine.

Kate:
What would you tell your father if he came home and I was dead on the kitchen floor?

Eugene:
"Don't go in the kitchen, Pa"?

Stanley:
I got fired today!

Eugene:
Fired? You mean for good?

Stanley:
You don't get fired temporarily. It's a permanent lifetime firing.

Stanley:
How horny can you get?

Eugene:
I don't know. What's the highest score?

Kate:
I need bread.

Eugene:
What?

Kate:
I don't have enough bread. Run over to Greenblatt's and get me a fresh rye bread.

Eugene:
Again? I just came back from Grennblatt's.

Kate:
So You'll go again.

Eugene:
I'm always going to the store. When I grow up, that's all I'll be trained to do, go to the store.

Kate:
You don't want to go?... Never mind, I'll go.

Eugene:
Don't do that! Don't make me feel guilty. I'll go.

Kate:
And get a quarter of a pound of butter.

Eugene:
I bought a quarter pound of butter this morning. Why don't you buy a half pound at a time?

Kate:
And suppose the house burned down this afternoon? Why do I need an extra quarter pound of butter?

Eugene:
If my mom taught logic in high school, this would be some weird country.

Eugene:
I'll never make it with the Yankees. All the great Yankees are Italian. My mother makes spaghetti with ketchup - what chance do I have?

Eugene:
It was a tense moment for everybody. I love tense moments. Especially when I'm not the one they're all tense about.

Eugene:
She saw me on the crapper! Nora saw me on the crapper!

Eugene:
I have seen the Golden Palace Of The Himalayas. Puberty is OVER! Onward and upward!

Kate:
Did you hear what I said?

Eugene:
Yes, I heard! If I cut my ears off I'd still be able to hear her through my nose!

Eugene:
Liver and cabbage - the Jewish mediaeval torture! My friend Marty Gregori, an A student in Science, told me that cooked cabbage can be smelled farther than sound travelling for seven minutes.

Eugene:
I wanted to cut my wrists but the liver had dulled the knife.