Captain EO

[first lines]

Narrator:
The Cosmos, a universe of good and evil, where a small group struggles to bring freedom to the countless worlds of despair. A rag-tag band lead by the infamous Captain EO.

Major Domo:
Don't panic! That's what got us into trouble the last time!

Captain EO:
We've reached the homing beacon, sir.

Commander Bog:
Well, so far, so good, Captain EO. I must admit, I am a bit surprised after the mess you made out of your last mission. But now that you've found the beacon, take the map, find the Supreme Leader, and give her the gift. You do have the map, don't you?

Odee:
No problem.

Idee:
No problem, sir. We've got it right here.

Commander Bog:
Then, get going! [his transmission ends]

Idee:
Boy, do we have a problem.

Odee:
We'll never find a supreme leader without a map.

Hooter:
Ah-ah-achoo!

Captain EO:
Hooter, be quiet! You're going to get us killed!

Hooter:
I couldn't help it.

[grabs some junk and puts it on him]

Captain EO:
Hooter...

Hooter:
I'm disguising myself.

Captain EO:
Hooter, listen, put it back and let's go.

[Hooter puts it on anyway]

Captain EO:
Don't be silly.

Hooter:
I gotta have a disguise.

Idee:
Who is it?

Major Domo:
The Supreme Leader.

Hooter:
I told you I'd find her.

The Supreme Leader:
Silence!... Infidels!

Hooter:
Infidels?

The Supreme Leader:
You infect my world with your presence! Turn the others into... trash cans!

Hooter:
[turns to leave] See ya later, trashcans!

Captain EO:
We have come here uninvited and unannounced.

The Supreme Leader:
So... then we both admit to your... stupidity! Why have you come?

Captain EO:
To bring a gift, your highness. To someone as beautiful as you.

The Supreme Leader:
You?... Think me beautiful?

Captain EO:
Very beautiful within, your highness, but without a key to unlock it, and that is my gift to you.

The Supreme Leader:
So... let me see this gift!

Captain EO:
Not only see, your highness... but hear.

Captain EO:
Now listen, the command considers us a bunch of losers, but we're gonna do it right because we're the best. If not, we'll be drummed out of the corps.

Major Domo:
Sir, the ship is in no condition to go into battle. I thought we might start by cleaning Hooter's bunk.

Hooter:
Rust bucket!

Captain EO:
Somebody get the map; where's the map?

Idee:
Who's got the map?

Odee:
Fuzzball?

Fuzzball:
Hooter has it.

Major Domo:
Hooter has it!

Captain EO:
Hooter!

Hooter:
I think I ate it!

Idee, Odee:
You ate it?