Conspiracy Theory

Alice Sutton:
He said a dog bit his nose.

Jerry Fletcher:
Arf.

Jerry Fletcher:
Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys?

Jerry Fletcher:
A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.

Jerry Fletcher:
Love gives you wings. It makes you fly. I don't even call it love. I call it Geronimo. When you're in love, you'll jump right from the top of the Empire State and you won't care, screaming "Geronimo" the whole way down. I love her so bad, I just... whoa, she wrecks me. I'd die for her.

Jerry Fletcher:
I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton.

Dr. Jonas:
In one hour, I want to know where she eats, where she sleeps, the name of her kindergarten teacher, everything.

Dr. Jonas:
Have you ever been a place where hope was gone? Where all that's left is patience?

Jerry:
David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Richard Speck...

Alice:
What about them?

Jerry:
Serial killers. Serial killers only have two names. You ever notice that? But lone gunmen assassins, they always have three names. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman...

Alice:
John Hinckley. He shot Reagan. He only has two names.

Jerry:
Yeah, but he only just shot Reagan. Reagan didn't die. If Reagan had died, I'm pretty sure we probably would all know what John Hinckley's middle name was.

Jerry:
I just thought of another one: James Earl Ray, the guy who got Luther King. Then of course, there's Sirhan Sirhan. I still haven't figured that one out. Maybe it's Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan, I don't know.

Jerry:
It's on the tip of my brain.

Jerry:
I'm only paranoid because they want me dead.

Jerry:
I love you.

Alice:
Jerry, no, no, you don't love me.

Jerry:
Sure I do.

Alice:
No, no.

Jerry:
I don't?

Jerry:
You can't hurt me any more.

Dr. Jonas:
I'll be the judge of that.

Jerry Fletcher:
To be normal, to drink Coca-Cola and eat Kentucky Fried Chicken is to be in a conspiracy against yourself.

Alice Sutton:
I love you, too.

Jerry Fletcher:
Oh Alice... now you tell me.

Agent Lowry:
If the intelligence community is a family, think of us as the uncle no one talks about.

Alice Sutton:
This guy's a restraining order waiting to happen.

Jerry Fletcher:
The Vietnam War was fought over a bet that Howard Hughes lost to Aristotle Onassis.

Alice Sutton:
Where are you, Jerry?

Jerry Fletcher:
I'm here.

Alice Sutton:
Where's here, Jerry?

Jerry Fletcher:
On the floor.

Fire Captain:
See this aluminum-looking stuff? It's firewall. It's amazing. The guy designed this place so it could be an incinerator, but it leaves the rest of the building untouched.

Alice Sutton:
If you could remember who stabbed you with the wheelchair, and where it happened it would really help.

Alice Sutton:
How did you know this was my car?

Jerry:
I didn't. It was just a lucky guess. Look, I feel kinda naked. Could we get outta here?

Alice Sutton:
Please don't tell me you're naked back there.

Jerry:
No, it's just a figure of speech, could we go? Please?

Alice Sutton:
Yeah, OK, OK.

Jerry:
That's what they, they start when you're young, y'know. When you're little they, at school they, they Baden-Powell all the boys and they Betty Crocker all the girls and they, then they air condition ya' and put ya' in the Heat N' Bake Oven and ya' can't breathe any more.

Jerry:
What do we know?! If I know what we know then I could tell you what we know and if anyone else knows!

Alice:
Jerry, I'm coming to get you.

Jerry:
Alice, Alice, You can fit through there?

Jerry Fletcher:
What's that?

Dr. Jonas:
Gravy for the brain.

Jerry Fletcher:
No! Not Gravy! Nooooooo!

Alice:
Jerry?

Jerry:
Alice is that you?

Alice:
Yes Jerry.

Jerry:
Oh Alice, I'm so sorry that you're dead.

Jerry:
GET BACK you damn, dumb, complicit sons of b*tches! You're looking for a man with NO NOSE! Not me, not me!

Jerry:
Sometimes they really are after you, only I'm not sure that's exactly it....

"Sometimes it isn't a 'theory', it really is a conspiracy."