Contagion

Dr. Ian Sussman:
[Disparagingly to Alan] Blogging is not writing. It's just graffiti with punctuation.

Alan Krumwiede:
It's a bad day to be a rhesus monkey.

Dr. Ellis Cheever:
Someone doesn't have to weaponize the bird flu.The birds are doing that.

Dr. Ellis Cheever:
When was the last time you ate something that didn't come from a vending machine?

Dr. Erin Mears:
[Hesitantly] Taco Bell

Alan Krumwiede:
Godzilla, King Kong, Frankenstein all in one.

Dave:
My wife makes me take off my clothes in the garage. Then she leaves out a bucket of warm water and some soap. And then she douses everything in hand sanitizer after I leave. I mean, she's overreacting, right?

Dr. Erin Mears:
Not really. And stop touching your face, Dave.

Jory Emhoff:
[Rhetorically] Why can't they invent a shot that keeps time from passing?

First Haz-Mat:
[Putting a body in a mass grave] When did we run out of body bags?

Second Haz-Mat:
Two days ago.

Dr. Erin Mears:
Somewhere in the world, the wrong pig met up with the wrong bat.

Dr. Ellis Cheever:
How are you?

Dr. Erin Mears:
It's good, we just finished setting up the...

Dr. Ellis Cheever:
I didn't ask what you're doing, Beth, I asked how you are. So... how are you?