Corner Gas: The Movie

Brent Leroy:
Alright buddy here's your tab - time to go

Jerome:
I'm not ready to go

Brent Leroy:
Well I'm ready for you to go - you're getting a little sloppy. So vamoose!

Jerome:
Or?

Brent Leroy:
Or... skeddadle, scurry, scoot...

Jerome:
I'll go when I'm good and ready [Brent rolls up his sleeve showing his arm]

Jerome:
As it turns out, I'm ready now [and he turns to leave]

Brent Leroy:
Finally! I get to see a robot fight a werewolf.

Bad Guy:
[armed robber enters Corner Gas brandishing a shotgun] Open the till! Put the money in a bag - Now!

Brent Leroy:
Ok. Did you bring your own bag? Or I'll have to charge you a nickle.

Bad Guy:
How about I blow your head off and charge you 50 cents for the shell?

Brent Leroy:
That's not a fair comparison at all.

Hank Yarbo:
I'm focusing my energies on money making ideas. Big ideas. Like a petting zoo, or a dude ranch, or maybe a zoo where you pet dudes.

Lacey Burrows:
I think that is more of a big city idea.

Hank Yarbo:
[opening lines] How long has it been?

Brent Leroy:
[immediately without looking up from comic book] April 13th 2009

Hank Yarbo:
No way! You sure?

Brent Leroy:
Well I can't be 100 percent sure since I don't know what you're talking about. [April 13, 2009 was the last broadcast of a new episode of the TV series]

Oscar Leroy:
Are you questioning my abilities?

Brent Leroy:
No dad - when it comes to your abilities none of us has any question.

Oscar Leroy:
Sure laugh it up! You won't be so smart when the four Norsemen of the apocalypse come riding down Main Street.

[after seeing Brent and Lacey kiss affectionately]

Oscar Leroy:
Ask her out, ya Jackass!

Brent Leroy:
I did ask her out. Two years ago.

Lacey Burrows:
[everyone is stunned] I said yes, in case anyone's wondering.

[Brent and Lacey have been officially a couple for two years]

[last lines]

Emma Leroy:
This is great! I finally get to have grand-children.

Lacey Burrows:
Oh, no. We discussed it. We're not having kids.

Brent Leroy:
[Emma is shocked] What. You think I'm gonna share my comic books with a little jammy-hands?

Emma Leroy:
Son of a...

[cut to closing credits]

Hank Yarbo:
I can't believe the people of Wullerton raised that money and bailed us out.

Brent Leroy:
Yeah, all those lemonade stands and church plays...

Brent Leroy:
Hmph. Self-serving bastards.

Mayor Fitzy:
We can get water and power back, and solve all our financial problems, [beat] if we agree to be annexed by Wullerton!

[everyone spits]

Hank Yarbo:
What does "annexed" mean?

Wanda Dollard:
Oh, it's Latin for "Fitzy's an IDIOT!"

[everyone boos and jeers]

Oscar Leroy:
NO ONE'S ANNEXING ANYONE, JACKASS!

[after seeing Brent and Lacey kiss]

Wanda Dollard:
Brent. You just kissed an actual human female!