Corpse Bride

The Corpse Bride:
Darling... where are you going?

Victor:
HOME!

Town Crier:
VICTOR VAN DORT ELOPES WITH CORPSE! HEARTBROKEN BRIDE TO WED WEALTHY NEWCOMER!

Nell Van Dort:
Wealthy newcomer? It cannot be!

William Van Dort:
Did he say "corpse"?

Nell Van Dort:
Oh, don't be ridiculous. What corpse would marry our Victor?

Victoria:
Oh, Hildegarde... what if Victor and I don't... like each other?

Maudeline:
Humph! As if that has anything to do with marrige. Do you suppose your father and I like each other?

Victoria:
Surely you must, a little?

Maudeline and Finis:
Of course not!

Maudeline:
[as the dead ran rampant] They must be from your side of the family!

Finis:
Certainly not! If my Grandfather Everglot could see this he'd be turning in his grave!

Grandfather:
(booming) Finis! (they turn to see a skeleton who looks just like the portrait of Finis's grandfather, who says politely) Where do you keep the spirits?

Pastor Galswells:
[yelling] Be gone, ye demons from Hell! Back to the void from whence you came! You shall not enter here! Back! Back!

Skeleton:
Keep it down, we're in a church.

Emily:
[recognizes Barkis] You.

Lord Barkis:
Emily?!

Emily:
YOU!

Lord Barkis:
But... I left you.

Emily:
For dead.

[The crowd gasps]

Elder Gutknecht:
[to angry corpses] Wait! We must abide by their rules! We are amongst the living.

Lord Barkis:
Well said. [drinks the Wine of Ages and dies]

Maggot:
[amusing smile] Not anymore!

[Barkis is turned into a corpse as his face's color changes to blue]

Elder Gutknecht:
Yup, you're right. He's all yours.

[the corpses laugh diabolically as they surround Barkis and drag him to the underworld]

Mrs. Plum:
New arrival. [closes the door]

Victor Van Dort:
Tomorrow, Victoria, we are to be...[struggles to say "married"] Mmmm... mmmm... mmmm...

Victor Van Dort:
You should see him with fur.

Victor Van Dort:
Sir, I beg you to help. It means so much to me... us.

Victor Van Dort:
I've got a... I've got a dwarf, and I'm not afraid to use him!

Victor Van Dort:
[trying to practice his vows] With this hand, I will cup your... [unconsciously holds hands before his chest in a suggestive manner, and is then horrified] Oh goodness, no!

Victor Van Dort:
[to the corpse of Scraps] Play dead... Oh, sorry.

Victor Van Dort:
With this candle... I will set your mother on fire.

Victor Van Dort:
With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

Victor Van Dort:
I'm already reeling, Mother. Shouldn't Victoria Everglot be marrying a lord or something?

Victor Van Dort:
I-I-I do apologize, Miss Everglot. How rude of me to... Well... Excuse me.

Victor Van Dort:
Ah, Mrs. Everglot. You look ravishing this evening. What's that, Mr. Everglot? Call you "dad"? If you insist, sir.

Victor Van Dort:
Please, there's been a mistake. I'm not dead.

Victor Van Dort:
Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this. But then again, she never approved of anything.

Emily:
If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain. If you cut me with a knife, it's still the same. And I know her heart is beating, and I know that I am dead; yet the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real, and it seems that I still have a tear to shed.

Emily:
Isn't the view beautiful? It takes my breath away. Well, it would if I had any

Emily:
We need to go up. Upstairs? To visit the land of the living.

Emily:
I've spent so long in the darkness, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is.

Emily:
[after her hand escapes her arm and dances up Victor's arm] Pardon my enthusiasm.

Emily:
If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain. In the ice or in the sun it's all the same. And I feel my heart is aching, though it doesn't beat it's breaking. Yet the pain here that I feel...try and tell me it's not real. And I know that I am dead. It seems that I still have some tears to shed.

Emily:
Maybe he should be with her. Little Miss Living, with her rosy cheeks and beating heart.

Emily:
I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me. Well now... now I've stolen them from someone else. I love you, Victor. But you are not mine.

Finis Everglot:
[to Victor] Out of the way, you ninny!

Finis Everglot:
There's an eye in me soup.

Finis Everglot:
Fetch me musket!

Maudeline Everglot:
Will the mortification never cease? It will be YEARS before we can show ourselves in public again!

Pastor Galswells:
ENOUGH! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared! [to Victor] Young man, learn your vows.

Pastor Galswells:
What in heaven's name? Who could that be at this late hour? [opens door] Miss Everglot? What are you doing here? You should be at home, prostrate with grief!

Bonejangles:
What a story it is. A tragic tale of romance, passion, and a murder most foul!

Elder Gutknecht:
Why go up there when people are dying to get down here?

Elder Gutknecht:
I have it. A Ukrainian Haunting Spell! Just the thing for these quick trips.

Elder Gutknecht:
Dearly beloved, and departed...

Elder Gutknecht:
Victor would have to give up the life he had forever. He would have to repeat his vows in the Land of the Living, and drink from the Wine of Ages. This would stop his heart forever. Only then would he be free to give it to you.

Maggot:
If I hadn't just been sitting in it, I would say that you've lost your mind!

Maggot:
[pushing out the Corpse Bride's eye so he can look for Victor] Don't worry. I'll keep an eye out for him.

Maggot:
[to a villager] You don't know me, but I used to live in your dead mother.

Town Crier:
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! WEDDING REHEARSAL IN RUINS AS VAN DORT BOY CAUSES CHAOS! [sees Victor, and makes it a point to let him know] FISHY FIANCÈ COULD BE CANNED! EVERGLOTS ALL "FIRED UP" AS VAN DORT DISASTER RUINS REHEARSAL!

Town Crier:
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! VICTOR VAN DORT SEEN THIS NIGHT ON THE BRIDGE IN THE ARMS OF A MYSTERY WOMAN! THE DARK-HAIRED TEMPTRESS AND MASTER VAN DORT SLIPPED AWAY INTO THE NIGHT! And now the weather: scattered showers...

Town Crier:
In other news... THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH!!!