Derailed

Charles Schine:
I got all kinds of guilt.

Lucinda Harris:
You're kinda funny, aren't you?

Charles Schine:
You're an easy crowd.

Philippe LaRoche:
[Holding Charles against a wall] Man, you ended up in the wrong prison, Charlie!

Charles Schine:
LaRoche...

Philippe LaRoche:
[smugly] Yeah?

Charles Schine:
I CHOSE this prison.

[Schine stabs LaRoche with Winston's shank]

Detective Church:
You brought that shank in with you, it's *pre-meditated* murder. Law don't care who you kill.

[beat]

Detective Church:
I guess the law didn't care much for Winston, either.

[last lines]

Amy Schine:
Bye. See you guys later.

Deanna Schine:
Okay, sweetheart.

Winston Boyko:
Hey Chaz, you feeling ok?

Charles Schine:
Yeah, I'm ok.

Winston Boyko:
You sure? You look like you comin' down with that bug or somethin'.

Charles Schine:
It's nothing.

Winston Boyko:
Nothing? That's what Dick Lumberg said.

Charles Schine:
Who's Dick Lumberg?

Winston Boyko:
Nobody. That mother f***er's dead!

Winston Boyko:
Hey Chaz, you know what my favorite song is? "Get Money", B.I.G, Lil' Kim. My favorite artists, Eddie Money, Al Green and Johnny motherf***in' Cash, baby. Oh, lemme tell you, my favorite Reverends, Frederick Price and Creflo Dollar.

Charles Schine:
Yes, Winston. I have your money.

Winston Boyko:
Who's talking money here, Chaz? Just trying to make conversation, man.

Charles Schine:
I need to use the bathroom.

Prison Guard at Desk:
I'll alert the media.

[unrated version]

Lucinda Harris:
I think... I want to f*** you.

Philippe LaRoche:
Here comes the championship f***!

[about Lucinda]

Philippe LaRoche:
I *loved* her, Charlie, when you just wanted to f*** her.

Charles Schine:
She's a b*tch.

Eliot Firth:
She's the worst kind of b*tch... she actually has a point.

Charles Schine:
Eliot, I'm in trouble.

Eliot Firth:
What kind of trouble?

Charles Schine:
I cheated on Deanna.

Eliot Firth:
You never cheated before?

Charles Schine:
No.

Eliot Firth:
Everybody cheats, Charles and you know what? Everybody gets over it.

Charles Schine:
No, this is different.

Eliot Firth:
Everybody says it's different too. Don't worry you'll be fine...

Charles Schine:
There's this man...

Eliot Firth:
-I don't wanna know who it was with.

[Charles sighs]

Eliot Firth:
Buy Deanna some flowers, talk it over with her, try not to get caught next time. Now, for God's sakes would you help me fix this piece of crap?

Philippe LaRoche:
[to Charles' daughter, in French] My name is Phillipe LaRoche, and I'm going to f*** your father from behind.

Charles Schine:
How'd you get this number?

Philippe LaRoche:
That's it. Keep thinking like that. How did I get your cell number? It isn't listed, is it?

Charles Schine:
You called my wife?

Philippe LaRoche:
Ah, no. Guess again. Okay, I'll give you a clue. On this phone, it's speed dial number eight. Hospital one, doctor two. You're number EIGHT!

[LaRoche laughs]

Philippe LaRoche:
You don't even rate in the top five. How does that feel, Charlie?

[Schine glances at his caller ID and sees 'Home' in the display]

Philippe LaRoche:
[about the mugging] Oh. Well, from what Charles told me, that thug had a jump on him from the very start. This is crazy. You never had a chance, did you?

Charles Schine:
Oh, I'm gonna get him back.

Deanna Schine:
You're not getting anyone back. You have a family.

Philippe LaRoche:
[perfectly well-mannered] You're so right, Deanna. So right. You want to protect your family, 'cause at the end of the day, this is the most important thing in the whole world.

Philippe LaRoche:
You ever get a little sidetracked, Charlie?

Charles Schine:
I'll bet you $20 that I can kiss you without ever touching your lips.

Lucinda Harris:
Kiss me?

Charles Schine:
Without touching.

Lucinda Harris:
[skeptical] How?

Charles Schine:
What do you mean, how? That's the bet.

Lucinda Harris:
Okay. Let me see the twenty.

[Schine takes out the $20, which Lucinda puts on the bar. She looks at him invitingly]

Charles Schine:
[leans in slowly, and softly kisses her, taking her breath away] Worth every penny.

Dexter:
So you write commercials, huh?

Charles Schine:
Yeah.

Dexter:
I made this demo for this coffee commercial this one time. It was a fine piece of music.

Charles Schine:
Really?

Dexter:
Yeah.

Charles Schine:
What'd they say?

Dexter:
They said people who drink coffee don't like rap.

Charles Schine:
That's ridiculous.

Dexter:
That's what I said.

Winston Boyko:
[about LaRoche] First he lures you in with 20 grand. Most folks like you could pull together 20 grand if you had to, right? You think, 20 grand, bong, and he's gone right? Nah. It's not about that. First he wanna see if you're the kind of a**hole who pays. Then after that...

[Winston imitates a whip-cracking sound]

Winston Boyko:
...slap the big dick on you, hit you for the real cheese, the big bucks. That's what this game is all about, Chaz.

Charles Schine:
Please, just take the money.

Philippe LaRoche:
Chuck, I already took your money. You see this? This was your money, and I took it. Now it's mine.

Philippe LaRoche:
Always chain your door in a place like this.

[LaRoche chains the door]

Philippe LaRoche:
But hey, thanks for the invite.