Die Hard 2

Carmine Lorenzo:
You are in my little pond now, and I am the big fish that runs it

John McClane:
That punk pulled a Glock 7 on me. You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. It dosen't show up on you airport X-ray machines, and it cost more than you make here in a month.

Carmine Lorenzo:
You'd be a surprised what I make in a month.

John McClane:
If it was more than a dollar ninety-eight I'd be surprised.

Al Powell:
What's this about?

John McClane:
Oh, just a feeling I have.

Al Powell:
Ouch. When you get those feelings, insurance companies start to go bankrupt.

John McClane:
Hey, Carmine, let me ask you something. What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the sh*t in your brains?

John McClane:
Fat f***.

John McClane:
Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. A little eggnog... a f***in' Christmas tree... a little turkey. But, no. I gotta crawl around in this motherf***in' tin can.

John McClane:
I don't like to fly.

Samantha Coleman:
Then what are you doing here?

John McClane:
I don't like to lose either.

Al Powell:
You ain't pissing in somebody's pool, are you?

John McClane:
Yeah, and I'm fresh out of chlorine.

John McClane:
Oh man, I can't f***ing believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice?

Grant:
You are the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time.

John McClane:
Story of my life.

John McClane:
I guess I was wrong about you. You're not such an a**hole after all.

Grant:
Oh, you were right about me. I'm just your kind of a**hole.

Grant:
Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you.

John McClane:
I got enough friends.

Holly McClane:
They told me there were terrorists at the airport.

John McClane:
Yeah, I heard that too.

Marvin:
So you like that one huh? How 'bout you give me twenty bucks for it?

John McClane:
How 'bout I let you live?

Marvin:
Man sure knows how to bargain.

Carmine Lorenzo:
Hey McClane! You get this parking ticket in front of my airport?

John McClane:
Yeah.

Carmine Lorenzo:
Ah, what the hell; it's Christmas!

John McClane:
Where's the f***in door?

John McClane:
What do you say, Marv?

Marvin:
I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean up this mess.

Morgue Worker:
Hey. You're supposed to do that at the morgue.

John McClane:
Not anymore. Got a new SOP for DOA's from the FAA.

John McClane:
Yippie-kay-yay, motherf***er.

John McClane:
Will you take the f***ing Twinkie out of your mouth?

Grant:
Major Grant. We're Blue Light.

Rollins, Department of Justice Representative:
Rollins, Department of Defense.

Trudeau:
Trudeau, Chief of Air Operations.

Carmine Lorenzo:
Lorenzo, Terminal Police. You want something, you got it.

John McClane:
This is it? One f***ing platoon?

Grant:
One crisis, one platoon. Who are you?

John McClane:
John McClane.

Grant:
McClane, you showed some balls out there, man.

John McClane:
Yea.

Grant:
Now, I'll show some good sense. Let the pros handle this.

John McClane:
Yea, well, it looks like the pros are on the wrong team tonight. Isn't Colonel Stuart one of your men?

Grant:
No, not anymore he's not. Now we're here to take Colonel Stuart down. And we will take him down. You see, I served with him. I tought him everything he knows.

John McClane:
Well, maybe he's learned a few more things since then.

Trudeau:
McClane, I know how you must feel.

John McClane:
I wanted to help those people tonight. I was pretty goddamn useless.

Grant:
Listen, wiseass, you're the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time.

John McClane:
Excuse me, officers, this may seem like a wild goose chase but I think I just saw -

Sgt. Vito Lorenzo:
Saw what?

John McClane:
Elvis. Elvis Presley.

John McClane:
Holly, here's your f***ing landing light. WHOOO.

Stewardess:
What did you do to him?

Holly McClane:
I knocked two of his teeth out.

Stewardess:
Would you like some champagne?

John McClane:
As far as I'm concerned, progress peaked with frozen pizza.

Samantha Coleman:
You give me this story and I'll have your baby.

John McClane:
Not the kind of ride I'm looking for.

Col. Stuart:
Happy landings, a**hole.

Holly McClane:
Why do this keep happening to us?

Holly McClane:
Listen Dick - if that is your name - Dick. If you're gonna continue to get this close would you consider switching aftershaves?

Richard Thornburg:
Anything else?

Holly McClane:
Stronger mouthwash would be nice.

Carmine Lorenzo:
It's time to kick head.

Marvin:
Just like Iwo Jima!

Sergeant:
Hey, a**hole! What do I look like to you?

O'Reilly:
A sitting duck.

Col. Stuart:
So much for the element of chance.

Col. Stuart:
McClane? I assume it's you, McClane. You're quite the little soldier. You can consider this a military funeral.

John McClane:
If Esperanza gets to a country that has no extradition charges, we're f***ed.

Grant:
You see I served with him. I taught him everything he knows.

John McClane:
Well, maybe, he's learned a few more things since then.

Richard Thornburg:
But at least the truth, is NOT among the hostages because I, Richard Thornburg, just happen to be here. To put his life and TALENT on the line for humanity and country...

Richard Thornburg:
...and if this should be my final broadcast...

Holly McClane:
Amen to that, Dick!

Col. Stuart:
That concludes our object lesson for this evening. If the 747 we've requested is ready on time and General Esperanza's plane arrives unmolested, further lessons can be avoided. Out.

John McClane:
All right, just stay here and get ready to call the marines.

Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes:
I thought they were the army.

John McClane:
Who gives a f***, just be ready.

Trudeau:
That stupid, arrogant son-of-a-b*tch! It's all over the airport.