Dummy

Heidi:
Because every klezmer band in town is booked and I desperately need a band. But if I hire you, you have to be willing to "hora". Is that a problem?

Fannie:
Oh man, at this point I'd f*** anyone.

Fannie:
I bought a gift for you.

Steven:
Oh, no.

Fannie:
Actually, I lifted it from Borders. But it's perfect for your date. It's classical music.

Steven:
Oh, thanks!

Fannie:
Yeah, when you get Lorena alone, put this on. Classical music makes women horny. Just trust me on this one.

Steven:
Thanks. "Best of John Philip Sousa".

Fannie:
Yeah. Chicks dig it.

Fannie:
You can f*** me if I'm wrong!

Steven:
No, That's okay.

Steven:
I look both ways when I cross the street.

Heidi Schoichet:
What're you apologizing to her? She's an unwed mother.

Fern Schoichet:
Better an unwed mother than just plain unwed.

Fangoria "Fanny" Gurkel:
You can f*** me if I'm wrong!

Steven Schoichet:
No. That's okay.

Heidi Schoichet:
[about Michael going in jail] Serves him right! I hope you rot in there, f***ing loser!

Fern Schoichet:
Heidi! That loser was almost your husband!

Heidi Schoichet:
Why can't you get it into your head, he's a psychopath?

Fern Schoichet:
I'm sure he is. But he's also a very successful accountant.

Fangoria "Fanny" Gurkel:
D'you know our high school reunion's comin' up? Ten years... D'you know how depressing that is? D'you think I don't wanna slash my f***ing wrists when I think about that? Goddamn it!

Fangoria "Fanny" Gurkel:
Steven, you drive like my f***ing grandma! Wait... that's actually an insult because my grandma drives better than you do!

Fangoria "Fanny" Gurkel:
[Being thrown out for throwing a tantrum in a mall.] F***ing suburbanized sh*t!

Heidi Schoichet:
[seeing Steven in his underwear, with his dummy dressed as a child] Steven? Gross! You look like a child molester.