Earth vs the Spider
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Well, speaking of spiders - are you sure rifles are just the thing? Insects have a pretty simple nervous system, sheriff. You could plug holes in one all day and never hit a vital spot. If you want to be on the safe side, call the pest control people in Springdale and have 'em send out all the DDT they can find.
[to a deputy after finding a desiccated body in a cave] Uh, you get back to town and make up a coroner's report. Just put down Jack Flynn as the name and the cause of death... uh...
It was a spider drained all the liquid out of his body.
[Officiously] Just put down "cause unknown" and let the coroner worry about the rest. That's the trouble with you eggheads - you jump to conclusions! I know what I see and I see a dead man, but, uh, I don't see any spider.
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