Enough Said

Eva:
I'm tired of being funny.

Albert:
Me too.

[last lines]

Albert:
I should tell you... I bought some night tables.

Eva:
You did?

Albert:
No. [Eva laughs] No, I didn't.

Eva:
OK, that's good.

Eva:
Oh, the Container Store?

Albert:
Yes, yes, the Container Store. The store that sells crap so you can put your crap in so you can go out and buy some more crap.

Eva:
I love that store. I love crap.

Eva:
[Albert's daughter has just left with some friends] You think they have threesomes?

Albert:
What? Why would you say that?

Eva:
I know, but apparently, that's what they're doing these days. That's what I heard.

Eva:
You have, like, eighty million toothbrushes.

Albert:
I do?

Eva:
Yeah.

Albert:
I only use one of them.

Eva:
Then why don't you just throw the other ones out?

Albert:
I don't know. Because they're my friends?

Will:
Eva was telling me that there are no men at this party that she's attractred to.

Albert:
That's OK, there's no one here I'm attracted to either.

Albert:
So while you were, uh, being torn, she was poisoning our relationship and poisoning your perception of me. Now why would you want that?

Eva:
I don't know, I mean, except maybe I was trying to protect myself, you know, because, you know, we've both been married before. And you know how things can turn out.

Albert:
What about us? What about protecting us?

Eva:
I didn't protect us.

Eva:
I could not believe what I was watching! No brains, and the fake cheekbones, and the fake b*obs. Do you like fake b*obs?

Albert:
...No. No, I like real b*obs.

Eva:
Yeah - I got real b*obs.

Albert:
...That's workin' out for us then.

Eva:
Did they just turn the music louder.

Albert:
No, I think you just got older.

Ellen:
Excuse me, Chloe, but can I have my mom back?

Eva:
I don't usually park in front of your house. I usually just drive by.

Albert:
Sometimes I drive by your house, too.

Eva:
You do?