Girl, Interrupted

Daisy:
You're just jealous, Lisa... because I got better... because I was released... because I have a chance... at a life.

Lisa:
They didn't release you 'cause you're better, Daisy, they just gave up. You call this a life, hmm? Taking Daddy's money, buying your dollies and your knick-knacks... and eatin' his f***in' chicken, fattening up like a prize f***in' heifer? You changed the scenery, but not the f***ing situation - and the warden makes house calls. And everybody knows. Everybody knows. That he f***s you. What they don't know... is that you like it. Hmm? You like it.

Susanna:
Oh my God... a guy I know was just drafted.

Janet:
What's his name?

Susanna:
Toby.

Janet:
He's dead now.

Daisy:
Which do you like better? Taking a dump alone or with Valerie watching?

Susanna:
Alone.

Daisy:
Everyone likes to be alone when it comes out. I like to be alone when it goes in. To me, the cafeteria is like being with twenty girls all at once taking a dump.

Lisa:
That is f***ed up, Daisy.

Lisa:
We are very rare and we are mostly men.

Janet:
Lisa thinks she's hot sh*t cause she's a sociopath.

Cynthia:
I'm a sociopath.

Lisa:
No, you're a dyke.

Susanna:
You know, taking us for ice creams in a blizzard... makes you wonder who the real whack jobs are.

Susanna:
What kind of sex isn't casual?

Susanna:
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside.

Susanna:
How am I supposed to recover when I don't even understand my disease?

Cynthia:
Hey John, call me a cab.

John:
Okay, you're a cab.

Susanna:
No one cares if you die, Lisa, because you're dead already. Your heart is cold. That's why you keep coming back here. You're not free. You need this place to feel alive. It's pathetic.

Lisa:
If I could have any job in the world I'd be a professional Cinderella.

Dr. Potts:
You've been feeling bad in general. You've been feeling depressed?

Susanna:
Well, I haven't exactly been a ball of joy, Melvin.

Valerie:
You know, I can take a lot of crazy sh*t from a lot of crazy people - but you... you are *not* crazy.

Susanna:
Then what's wrong with me, huh? What the f*** is going on inside my head? Tell me, *Dr. Val*. What's your diag-nonsense?

Valerie:
You are a lazy, self-indulgent *little girl*, who is driving herself crazy.

Lisa:
Lady, back off!

Mrs. Gilcrest:
Was I talking to you?

Lisa:
No, you were spitting on me, so mellow f***in' out!

Mrs. Gilcrest:
Don't you tell me what to do.

Lisa:
Look, she gave your husband a rim job. Big f***in' deal! I'm sure he was begging for it, and I heard it was like a pencil anyway.

Mrs. Gilcrest:
Why you - how dare you!

Lisa:
Some advice, okay? Just don't point your f***in' finger at crazy people!

Susanna:
Am I in trouble for kissing an orderly, or giving my boyfriend a blowj*b?

Lisa:
So, what's your diag-nonsense?

Dr. Crumble:
Susanna, four days ago... you chased a bottle of aspirin, with a bottle of vodka.

Susanna:
I had a headache.

Lisa:
You think your free? I'm free! You don't know what freedom is! I'm free. I can breathe. And you... will choke on your average f***in' mediocre life!

Susanna:
Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends and by the '70s most of them were out living lives. Some I've seen, some never again, but there isn't a day my heart doesn't find them.

Daisy:
And my favorite part... it has a sign right outside that says, "If you lived here, you'd be home now".

Lisa:
Take one f***in' step and I'll jam this in my aorta.

Valerie:
Lisa, your aorta is in your chest.

Lisa:
Good to know.

Susanna:
Maybe everyone out there is a liar. And maybe the whole world is stupid, and ignorant. But I'd rather be in it. Id' rather be f***ing in it, than down here with you.

Lisa:
"Razors pain you, Rivers are damp... / Acids stains you, Drugs cause cramp. / Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give... / Gas smells awful, Ya might as well live."

Janet:
I'm a f***ing shrub, all right?

Janet:
That is not fair. That is not *fair*! That is *not fair*! Seventy-four is the perfect weight!

Susanna:
I didn't try to kill myself.

Dr. Potts:
What were you trying to do?

Susanna:
I was trying to make the sh*t stop.

Lisa:
Hey Torch.

Polly:
Hey Lisa.

Lisa:
Did you miss me?

Polly:
Not much.

Margie:
Looking better Lisa.

Lisa:
So how's the engagement going?

Margie:
You know.

Lisa:
No I don't know. I've been away remember.

Margie:
Joe wants me to

Margie:
before the wedding.

Lisa:
F*** his brains - out use a rubber.

Lisa:
I am going to be the Cinderella. You can be the Cocker Spaniel that eats spaghetti.

Lisa:
If talking did sh*t, we'd be out of here by now.

Lisa:
You shared a man with that woman?

Susanna:
What the f*** are you doing Lisa?

Lisa:
Playing the villain, baby, just like you want. I try to give you everything you want.

Susanna:
No you don't.

Lisa:
You wanted your file, I found you your file. You wanted out, I got you out. You needed *money*, *I* found you some. I'm f***ing consistent-I told you the truth-I didn't write it down in a *f***ing book*! I told you to your *face*. And I told Daisy to her face - what everybody knew and wouldn't say, and she killed herself. And I played the f***ing villain, just like you wanted.

Susanna:
Why would I want that?

Lisa:
Because it makes you the good guy, sweet pea.

Susanna:
Everyone here is f***ing crazy!

Dr. Potts:
You want to go home.

Susanna:
Same problem.

Dr. Wick:
Is there something about sex which lifts your feelings of despair?

Susanna:
Have you ever had sex?

Janet:
When they built this place they put the tunnels in so the loons didn't have to go anywhere in the cold.

Susanna:
I must've missed that in the brochure.

Valerie:
Remember me when you shave your legs.

Susanna:
Has anyone ever watched you shave your legs?

Valerie:
I got two kids and one bathroom, what do you think?

Susanna:
I think you should lock the door.

Susanna:
You don't want me, Tony.

Tony:
Yes I do, baby.

Susanna:
No, you don't. I'm... a crazy girl.

Tony:
You're crazy so we can't have one night of bliss?

Susanna:
I am a crazy girl. Seriously.

Tony:
You've been in a hospital?

Susanna:
Yes.

Tony:
Do you see purple people? My friend, he saw purple people. And so the state came and took him away. He didn't like that. Some time went by and, and he told 'em he didn't see purple people no more.

Susanna:
He got better.

Tony:
Nah, he still sees 'em.

Lisa:
So, have you had your first Melvin yet?

Susanna:
Who's that?

Lisa:
Bald guy with a little pecker and a fat wife. You're ther-rapist, sweet pea. Unless, ah... unless they're givin' you shocks. Or god forbid lettin' you out. Then you get to see the great wonderful Dr. Dyke.

Margie:
She means Dr. Wick.

Susanna:
Oh, I've been in his office but I haven't met him yet.

M.G.:
He's a she. Dr. Wick's a girl.

Lisa:
That's right M.G. Wick's a chick.

M.G.:
Wick's a chick...

Georgina:
Lisa? Is Daisy really getting out?

Lisa:
Yeah, she coughed up a big one.

Susanna:
But how could - I mean she's... *insane*.

Lisa:
Yeah, well that's what ther-rape-me's all about. That's why f***in' Freud's picture's on every shrink's wall. He created a f***in' industry. You lie down, you confess your secrets and you're saved. Ca-ching! The more you confess, the more they think about settin' you free.

Susanna:
But what if you don't have a secret?

Lisa:
Then you're a lifer, like me.

Valerie:
Did you enjoy the fresh air Lisa?

Lisa:
Yeah I did Val. Thanks.

Valerie:
Good, 'cause it's the last time you're leaving the ward.

Lisa:
Is that a dare or a double dare?

Susanna:
I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.

Dr. Wick:
Do you know what that means, ambivalence?

Susanna:
I don't care.

Dr. Wick:
If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...

Susanna:
It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.

Dr. Wick:
On the contrary, Susanna. Ambivalence suggests strong feelings... in opposition. The prefix, as in "ambidextrous," means "both." The rest of it, in Latin, means "vigor." The word suggests that you are torn... between two opposing courses of action.

Susanna:
Will I stay or will I go?

Dr. Wick:
Am I sane... or, am I crazy?

Susanna:
Those aren't courses of action.

Dr. Wick:
They can be, dear - for some.

Susanna:
Well, then - it's the wrong word.

Dr. Wick:
No. I think it's perfect.

Susanna:
Is that what you learned in your advanced studies at "Night School for Negro Welfare Mothers"?

Lisa:
You know, there's too many buttons in the world. There's too many buttons and they're just- There's way too many just begging to be pressed,they're just begging to be pressed,you know? They're just - they're just begging to be pressed, and it makes me wonder, it really makes me f***ing wonder, why doesn't anyone ever press mine? Why am I so neglected? Why doesn't anyone reach in and rip out the truth and tell me that I'm a f***ing whore, or that my parents wish I were dead?

Susanna:
Because you're dead already, Lisa!

Janet Webber:
I want my f***ing clothes!

Valerie Owens:
Then you'll have to eat something, won't you?

Janet Webber:
[singing] Oh Lordy, pick a bale o' cotton / Oh Lordy, pick a bale o' hay / Gotta jump down spin around pick a bale o' cotton / Jump down spin sround pick a bale o' hay.

Valerie Owens:
[to Susanna] She thinks that bothers me.

Daisy Randone:
Get out, Lisa!

Lisa Rowe:
I'm not in your room, Daisy. I'm right f***ing here. I was gonna offer you nail polish.

Daisy Randone:
GET OUT!

Nurse Margie:
You're looking better, Lisa.

Lisa Rowe:
Why, thanks Margie. So how's the engagement going?

Nurse Margie:
You know.

Lisa Rowe:
No, I don't know. I've been away.

Nurse Margie:
Joe wants me to... you know, before the wedding.

Lisa Rowe:
F*** his brains out - use a rubber.

Daisy Randone:
My dad got me an apartment.

Susanna Kaysen:
Really? Where?

Daisy Randone:
It's near the airport. One bedroom, two baths, eat-in chicken.

Susanna Kaysen:
You mean eat-in kitchen.

Daisy Randone:
That's what I said, a**hole. So what do you have that I want?

[Susanna has just showed Daisy some Colace tablets]

Daisy Randone:
Put them on the bed and get out.

Lisa Rowe:
[from the door] Put yours on the bed.

Daisy Randone:
Oh, Jesus! Get out! GET OUT!

[Lisa enters and shuts the door behind her]

Lisa Rowe:
Come on Dais, don't take advantage of her just because she's new. Pony up some Valium.

Daisy Randone:
Get the f*** out of here or I'm calling Valerie! VALERIE!

Lisa Rowe:
Yeah, why don't you call Valerie, shall we? Let's call Valerie and ask her for some Colace just like Suzie Q's got in her f***in' hand. Why does it stink in here?

Susanna Kaysen:
[picks up phone] Hello.

Lisa Rowe:
[on phone] So what's your diag-nonsense?

Susanna Kaysen:
Who is this?

Lisa Rowe:
What'd he say to Mom and Pop?

[Susanna looks out and sees Lisa staring back at her two booths back]

Susanna Kaysen:
I have a Borderline Personality.

Lisa Rowe:
Oh, well that's nothing. What else?

Susanna Kaysen:
He didn't say. Thought it would affect my recovery.

Lisa Rowe:
All right, listen. Tongue your meds tonight. After 1 o'clock checks, Gretta always goes out for a smoke. Check the mirrors and if they're clear, you go down to Hector's closet. It's near the art room and it will be open.

Lisa Rowe:
We are very rare and we are mostly men.

Janet Webber:
Lisa thinks she's hot sh*t 'cause she's a sociopath.

Cynthia Crowley:
I'm a sociopath.

Lisa Rowe:
No, you're a dyke.

Susanna Kaysen:
[reading from a book] "Borderline Personality Disorder. An instability of self-image, relationships and moods... uncertainty about goals, impulsive in activities that are self-damaging, such as casual sex."

Lisa Rowe:
I like that.

Susanna Kaysen:
"Social contrariness and a generally pessimistic attitude and often observed" Well, that's me.

Lisa Rowe:
That's everybody.

Susanna Kaysen:
I mean, what kind of sex isn't casual?

Janet Webber:
They mean promiscuous.

Susanna Kaysen:
I'm not promiscuous. I'm not.

Janet Webber:
That is not fair. That is not fair! That is not fair! Seventy-four is the perfect weight!

Lisa Rowe:
[to Daisy] Good luck, crazy b*tch.

Instructor:
Now what kind of a tree can you be, Janet, down there on the floor?

Janet Webber:
I'm a f***ing shrub, all right?

Lisa Rowe:
Hey Torch! Whatcha' doin'?

Polly Clark:
Nothing.

Lisa Rowe:
Well, why don't you go to your room and do nothing?

[she waves at Polly with puppet, and Polly runs to room crying]

[Nurse Margie is doing her checks. Lisa decides to distract her so Susanna can have time with her boyfriend. She wheels in front of Nurse Margie]

Lisa Rowe:
Hey Margie!

Nurse Margie:
Hey, Lisa!

Lisa Rowe:
Watcha doin'?

Nurse Margie:
Checks?

Lisa Rowe:
How's Joe?

Nurse Margie:
He's fine.

[she tries to move around Lisa, but Lisa moves in front of her again]

Lisa Rowe:
Yeah...

Nurse Margie:
Lisa, I have to do my checks!

Lisa Rowe:
Yeah, and what? Taking five minutes for me would be a dereliction of duty?

[Nurse Margie tries to move again, Lisa moves in front of her]

Lisa Rowe:
Huh? What if I had a punctured artery? What would you do? Would you just keep going about your rounds, ignoring my wounds?

Nurse Margie:
Lisa, stop it!

Lisa Rowe:
Stop what? You f***ing piece-

[She grabs the pen from the clipboard and holds it to her neck, clicking the pen open]

Lisa Rowe:
Look at this! Go ahead!

Nurse Margie:
That's enough!

Lisa Rowe:
Take one f***in' step and I'll jam this in my aorta! GO AHEAD!

[she holds pen closer to her neck]

Nurse Margie:
Stop it!

[Nurse Valerie comes over, a smirk on her face]

Nurse Valerie Owens:
Lisa...your aorta is in your chest.

[Lisa clicks the pen shut and gives it back to Nurse Margie]

Lisa Rowe:
Good to know! I'll make a note of that...

Nurse Valerie Owens:
Good.

Valerie Owens:
You know, I can take a lot of crazy sh*t from a lot of crazy people. But you? You are not crazy.

Susanna Kaysen:
Then what's wrong with me, huh? What the f*** is going on inside my head? Tell me, Dr. Val, what's your diag-nonsense?

Valerie Owens:
[hovering over Susanna] You are a lazy, self-indulgent little girl who is driving herself crazy.

Susanna Kaysen:
Is that your... professional opinion, huh? Is that what you've learned in your advanced studies at night school for Negro Welfare Mothers? I mean, Melvin doesn't have a clue, Wick is a psycho, and you... you pretend to be a doctor. You sign the charts and dole out meds. But "you ain't no doctor, Miss Valerie. You ain't nothing but a black nursemaid."

Valerie Owens:
And you're just throwing that away.

Daisy Randone:
You're just jealous, Lisa... because I got better... because I was released... because I have a chance... at a life.

Lisa Rowe:
They didn't release you 'cause you're better, Daisy, they just gave up. You call this a life, hmm? Taking Daddy's money, buying your dollies and your knickknacks. And eating his f***in' chicken, fattening up like a prize f***in' heifer. You changed the scenery, but not the f***in' situation, and the warden makes housecalls. And everybody knows, everybody knows that he fucks you. What they don't know is that you like it, hmm? You like it.

Susanna Kaysen:
[to Lisa] Shut the f*** up!

Lisa Rowe:
Hey, man, it's cool, it's okay. It's fine, it's f***ing fine! A man is a dick is a man is a dick is a chicken... is a dad... a Valium, a speculum, whatever, whatever. [to Daisy] You like being Mrs. Randone. Probably all you've ever known.

Daisy Randone:
Have fun in Florida. [goes upstairs to her room]

Valerie Owens:
[about Daisy] What would you have said to her?

Susanna Kaysen:
I don't know. That I was sorry. That I will never know what it was like to be her. But I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. You hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside.

Valerie Owens:
Susanna, it's all and well and good to tell me all this; but you gotta tell some of this to your doctors.

Susanna Kaysen:
How the hell am I suppose to recover when I don't even understand my disease?

Valerie Owens:
But you do understand it. You spoke very clearly about it a second ago. But I think what you gotta do is put it down. Put it away. Put it in your notebook, but get it out of yourself. Away so you can't curl up with it anymore.

Susanna Kaysen:
Lisa thinks it's a gift. That it let's you see the truth.

Valerie Owens:
Lisa's been here for eight years.

Susanna Kaysen:
[crying] I'm so sorry. I was a b*tch, I was a b*tch.

Valerie Owens:
Do not drop anchor here, you understand?

Susanna Kaysen:
[narrating] When you don't want to feel, death seem like a dream. But seeing death, really seeing it, makes dreaming about it f***ing ridiculous. Maybe, there's a moment growing up when something peels back... Maybe, maybe, we look for secrets because we can't believe our minds... [overlapping words] All I know is that there's I began to feel things again. Whatever I was, I knew that there was only one way back to the world, and that was to use the place to talk. So I saw the great and wonderful Dr. Wick three times a week, and let her hear every thought in my head.

[Lisa's arms and legs are strapped to the bed. Susanna takes out nail polish and starts painting Lisa's nails]

Lisa Rowe:
[crying] I'm not really dead.

Susanna Kaysen:
I know.

Lisa Rowe:
I'm gonna miss you, Suzie Q.

Susanna Kaysen:
No, you're not. You're going get out of here, and you're gonna come and see me. Okay?

Lisa Rowe:
[takes a deep breath and looks away] Yeah.

[Susanna is leaving. Georgina sheepishly looks up from the cards she's playing with]

Susanna Kaysen:
Hey, Georgina? You know all that stuff I write in my journals? I don't know what I'm saying. They're just... thoughts. Who knows, maybe I'm the liar.

Georgina Tuskin:
Maybe not. [They hug]

Susanna Kaysen:
[narrating] Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train was moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the '60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.

Lisa Rowe:
[to Daisy about going to Florida] I am going to be the Cinderella at Walt Disney's new theme park, Susanna's gonna be Snow White. You can come if you want, you can be the Cocker Spaniel that eats spaghetti.

Lisa Rowe:
Note that the poem is a quote from Dorothy Parker's "Résumé" (1925)