Hawaii Five-0



Year:
2010
1,052 Views

Lou Grover:
[the Five-O team is accompanying McGarrett as he sits in a wheel chair being pushed by Danny, leaving the hospital after being shot] You know, you oughta look into whether they got some kind of a loyalty program. Like they'll give you a card, then every fifth bullet extraction is free. Heh heh.

Dr. Max Bergman:
Well, I'm certain that such a program doesn't exist, Captain.

Chin Ho Kelly:
I believe he was joking, Max.

Dr. Max Bergman:
Ah. I can see how that was an attempt at humor.

Lou Grover:
Oh, keep it up, wise guy. You might see an attempt at murder.

Kono Kalakaua:
Lou, he wasn't being rude. He's just Max. And you'll learn that.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
You know, that reminds me, Max. It's been killing me all day. What did you tell your new prot?g? about me?

Dr. Max Bergman:
I beg your pardon?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
You said you gave her a head's up. Head's up about what? What did you say?

Dr. Max Bergman:
Ah, yes. I just explained to Dr. Shaw that Commander McGarrett is the leader of Five-O and that you're his deeply cynical, misanthropic, short-tempered partner.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
What?

Lou Grover:
You know, I think I see what you mean about him.

Dr. Max Bergman:
Now, Dr. Shaw agreed with my assessment. However, she did think you were cute.

Steve McGarrett:
Hey! [Lifts his right fist for a bump with Danny]

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Aha! Well, she's got a point, right? I can live with that.

Kamekona:
[Kamekona and Flippa come around the corner to present Steve with a shrimp meal and Get Well balloons] What? Brother, I thought you were shot!

Steve McGarrett:
I was. In my thigh.

Flippa:
Your thigh. That don't count.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
For you? No, for you, it would not.

Kamekona:
I though you was down for the count. I brought you some garlic shrimp and some balloons. [Pan to silver balloon that says, Get Bettah, and a yellow one with Kamekona's face on it]

Steve McGarrett:
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Maybe next time, they can hit a vital organ. [Steve grabs the bag of food and balloon ribbons in consternation]

Kamekona:
We be back.

Jerry Ortega:
[Jerry is standing at his bright green van, holding crutches for Steve] Your chariot awaits, brave warrior.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
All right.

Steve McGarrett:
Thanks, Jerry. [Steve grabs the crutches and Jerry holds the bag of food and balloons as Steve gets into the back seat]

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
[Captain Fryer and his team storm through the door of Dennis Archer's hotel and discover the Five-O team] McGarrett.

Steve McGarrett:
Captain Fryer. What're you doing here?

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
You tell me, man.

Steve McGarrett:
We're working a case.

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
We're working a case too.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
You're working a case?

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
Yeah.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
You see, this whole time, I'd think that the promotion to chief of detectives is a desk-jockey job.

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
No, the chief of D should be out catching cases. Okay? I'm old school like that.

Steve McGarrett:
Okay, good. Well this is our catch, and it's our case. You got it?

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
[Notices the photo in Steve's hand] This is our Jane Doe.

Steve McGarrett:
What are you talking about? Huh?

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
This is mine. I found her body in the trunk of a car rented by a guy named, uh, Dennis Archer. I traced the card he used to rent the car to this room.

Steve McGarrett:
And here we are.

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
Here you are, doing what exactly?

Kono Kalakaua:
We're working the Dennis Archer case.

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
The Dennis Archer case?

Steve McGarrett:
Okay, we found his body. He was shot and left for dead in a bunker outside of Pearl City.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
He's at the hospital in a coma right now.

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
He's in a coma?

Steve McGarrett:
Yes. Coma.

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
He's in a coma. Huh. Last I checked, homicide takes precedence over attempted homicide.

Steve McGarrett:
What are you talking about?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Okay. Hold on. Alright. Look, you got a case. We got a case.

Capt. Vincent Fryer:
He's right. Let's let bygones be bygones. Let's pool our resources and work this case together.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
[Danny is crashing at Steve's house, sleeping on the couch. Steve is kept awake by the TV left on downstairs. He goes down to see what's going on and turns the TV off] [from under a blanket] I was watching that.

Steve McGarrett:
Through the blanket.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
[pushes the blanket down] Oh well. I was listening anyway.

Steve McGarrett:
Yeah, I mean, because there's nothing more soothing than the sound of someone trying to sell you gold coins. Right?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
You know, I needed something to block out the sound of the ocean because the waves keep crashing over and over and over again... Steven.

Steve McGarrett:
[holding on to his patience] Some would say it's a relaxing sound, Danny.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Yeah. Some people would. And others like myself would say it's Hawaiian water torture. Okay. Two weeks now. I can't take it anymore.

Steve McGarrett:
Okay. You know I don't mind you crashing with me until you find your own place. Right?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
I appreciate that.

Steve McGarrett:
Okay. But I can't sleep with the TV on.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
I can't sleep with the TV off.

Steve McGarrett:
We discussed that, uh, before you moved in.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Yeah, we did. I think I remember that it's, uh... McGarrett house rule number 32. No TV after midnight.

Steve McGarrett:
I'm sorry the hotel didn't work out for you.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa. The hotel didn't not work out. Okay? It became infested with black mold. There's a difference. That's a sign from God.

Steve McGarrett:
But... I have become accustomed to doing things a certain way.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Yeah, I know. And your way, your way is completely insane. It's- it's nuts. Who can take a shower in under three minutes? Huh?

Steve McGarrett:
[all patience gone] Did you ever hear of a navy shower, Danny?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
No!

Steve McGarrett:
A navy shower?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Where do you think I woulda heard of something like that? A navy shower!

Steve McGarrett:
Three minutes is a luxury!

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
I'm not in the navy!

Steve McGarrett:
A navy shower! Danny!

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
All right, where's Weston?

Kono Kalakaua:
She was, uh - she had to change into something more appropriate.

Steve McGarrett:
Meaning she was wearing something inappropriate?

Kono Kalakaua:
No. No. No. Uh, that's not what I said.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Kinda what you said.

[Kono sighs uncomfortably]

Steve McGarrett:
Oh - she was wearing a costume.

Kono Kalakaua:
Please don't tell her I told you.

Steve McGarrett:
You didn't tell me. I guessed it.

Kono Kalakaua:
Yeah. Right. [Lori comes around the corner of the MEDIC vehicle a little out of breath]

Officer Lori Weston:
Hey. Hey. Okay, let's get started. [Steve and Danny smile and stare at Lori saying nothing] [Lori to Kono] Oh, you told them.

Kono Kalakaua:
They guessed.

Officer Lori Weston:
Okay.

Steve McGarrett:
Oh, this is fascinating.

Officer Lori Weston:
I was at a Halloween party. What's so fascinating?

Steve McGarrett:
The party isn't fascinating. What's fascinating is that you're not - you don't wanna tell us about it. You're kind of being all secretive. That's kind of weird.

Officer Lori Weston:
Oh. Weird? Really? Not secretive. No. It's just my private life. And I can have a private life like you all have. [Kono nods in affirmation] [Lori looks at Danny] Why are you staring at me?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Uh, because I am just imagining, uh, who Lori Westin's alter ego might be. Uh, Wonder Woman.

Officer Lori Weston:
No. [Lori and Kono walk away and towards the crime scene]

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Slutty Wonder Woman?

Officer Lori Weston:
Stop it, Danno!

Kono Kalakaua:
[the Five 0 team have set up traps for Bagosa and his henchmen. Kono comes out of a closet and takes out a guy. She speaks into her radio] It worked.

Chin Ho Kelly:
[Through the closed team radio lines] Told ya.

Jerry Ortega:
[Jerry is in the basement commandeering radio transmissions to trap more bad guys in various locations on the compound] Hey, how about a little love for the maestro?

Kono Kalakaua:
Good work, Jerry.

Jerry Ortega:
Thanks, sistah.

Steve McGarrett:
[Over the closed team radio] Jerry, we got movement.

Jerry Ortega:
[to the team] One diversion, coming right up. [Radio transmission for another lure] Hey, have you seen my pocket knife?

Steve McGarrett:
[More voices from various rooms. Grover takes out his guy in a workroom. Chin takes out a guy in the kitchen. Danny ambushes a guy from a bathroom stall. Steve and his guy come busting out of a door fighting and Steve is getting pummeled on the grass] A little help here!

Albert Bagosa:
[Holding a gun to Steve's back as Steve is punching the guy on the grass this time] Freeze! [Bagosa clicks his gun to shoot]

Nick 'Valentine' Mercer:
[Valentine holds and clicks his gun ?t the back of Bargosa's head] Hello, boss.

Albert Bagosa:
Do you have any idea what you're doing, Valentine?

Nick 'Valentine' Mercer:
Asking you politely to put down your gun. You know me better than anyone. I'll blow your damn head off right here.

Steve McGarrett:
[Bagosa lowers his gun, Steve takes it out of his hand, and Valentine clicks his gun to show Bargosa that it was not loaded. Steve instructs Chin after cuffing his guy] Take him away.

Chin Ho Kelly:
My pleasure.

Albert Bagosa:
[Turns to Valentine] I saved your life.

Nick 'Valentine' Mercer:
In ways you'll never know.

Lou Grover:
[Lou comes over to cuff Bargosa] You wanna step this way, sir. Got a nice little cage for you.

Nick 'Valentine' Mercer:
[Steve approaches Valentine. Valentine hands him his gun] Thank you. [Valentine puts his wrists out to be cuffed]

Steve McGarrett:
Let's go.

Lou Grover:
[Lou is on the phone while at the hospital with Danny and Kono where they brought in a poison victim] Okay. Thank you. [to Danny] You were right. That was the ATA [American Thoroughbred Association] . Blood from Keone's, direct DNA match to Urban Myth.

Danny Williams:
Uhuh. Okay, and that sample was taken a couple of days ago. That means that horse is on this island.

Kono Kalakaua:
Keone must have come into contact with him, and then reached out to Harrison to let him know he found his missing horse.

Lou Grover:
Harrison tells Keone to get a blood sample so that he can confirm.

Danny Williams:
And then whoever has Urban Myth realizes that somebody's on to him and realizes he has to clip 'em both.

Lou Grover:
We gotta figure out who's got that horse.

Kono Kalakaua:
Okay. The thing I don't get is this. Why would you steal a racehorse and not ransom it? I mean, it's not like you can run it anywhere.

Danny Williams:
No. But you could put it out to stud, and make a lot of money.

Chin Ho Kelly:
[Chin and Steve are at Five-O headquarters at the computer table] Okay. So we checked, and there are only three stud farms on the entire island. But one of them, Nakata Ranch, was right on Keone's delivery route.

Kono Kalakaua:
[Kono, Danny, and Lou on speaker phone at the hospital] That must be where he saw Urban Myth.

Danny Williams:
Okay. What do we know about this place?

Chin Ho Kelly:
Owner's name is Al Mokuau.

Lou Grover:
That's the guy from the rodeo. That's the same guy who tried to pin this whole thing on Luke Pakele. I say we round him up.

Steve McGarrett:
What was that, a horse metaphor?

Lou Grover:
Yes, sir.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
I have seen you personally put yourself in every conceivable life-threatening situation without batting an eye. Like it's nothing. But, when it comes to talking about your feelings, forget about it. You'd rather choose cyanide. [Steve looks away] Huh? Forget it. Wake me up if they stop, or do something interesting... open up that curtain.

Steve McGarrett:
[after a long pause] You wanna know why I don't play guitar anymore?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Yes. I would like to know why you don't play guitar anymore.

Steve McGarrett:
[Another pause] Tenth grade talent show. I signed up to perform. I practiced this song every day for months and months, and the day finally came around. I was standing in the wings. My guitar was in tune. They called me my name. I walked out on stage... and turned around and looked at all those people... And I couldn't do it... I couldn't do it, so I walked off and I never played the guitar again.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
That's it?

Steve McGarrett:
That's it.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Tenth grade. You had stage fright. So, you never played the guitar again?

Steve McGarrett:
I didn't have stage fright. It was bigger than that. I'm tellin' you, man, it was a, uh... I don't know. I guess it was an existential crisis. I just, in that moment, I couldn't handle... the, the vulnerability that I was experiencing. I couldn't handle how *exposed*... I felt. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I thought it was gonna kill me. Look, man. I was raised differently than you, okay? I wasn't raised in a house with a supportive family, encouraging me to share my feelings. And, in your case, every feeling. The McGarrett men are a different breed. They- To them, showing emotions is showing weakness. You know? I mean, it's stupid, but it's just the way it is.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
I understand that. I just figured after everything we've been through... you know... your father, my brother. Everything. I figured maybe I was, you know... somebody that you could open up to, is all.

Steve McGarrett:
I just did.

Steve McGarrett:
Why don't you tell me what happened at the Hilton today?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Nothing happened at the Hilton.

Steve McGarrett:
Cuz you... seem upset... to me.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
You became a shrink all of a sudden?

Steve McGarrett:
Yeah. And you can take a seat in the back there, uh, if you, if you'd be more comfortable lying down. Or, you can stay where you're sitting and tell me what happened cuz either way I'm gonna keep asking you, so it's up to you.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Okay. Sigmund. You wanna know what's bothering me?

Steve McGarrett:
[Dramatic pause while he slowly nods his head once] It's your hour.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Okay. I'll tell you, by the pool, there was this very, very, creepy, *creepy* child.

Steve McGarrett:
Okay.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
I mean, a real, real malcontent. Okay?

Steve McGarrett:
Mm-hmm.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
And you shoulda seen Grace. I mean, she was giggling like a school girl every time this kid opens his mouth.

Steve McGarrett:
Uh. Grace *is* a school girl.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Yeah. And this guy's a stalker. Okay? A stalker. He fits the profile.

Steve McGarrett:
Profile?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
He called her five times in three days.

Steve McGarrett:
How do you know that?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Because I dumped her phone.

Steve McGarrett:
You dumped your kid's phone?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Yes.

Steve McGarrett:
And this stalker... Ten? Is he ten years old?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Ted Bundy was ten once.

Steve McGarrett:
[Gives Danny a look] Yes, he was, Danny. Yes, he was.

Bobby Raines:
BR: What's up, Honolulu? Let's light this candle. Hey, folks: welcome to the Bobby Raines Show, I am the aforementioned Bobby Raines as most of you know. Just a note, if you're going to send me fan mail, don't put your name on the front in crayon, because I'm not opening it. That's all I need to do is to find some rabbit pellets in there and I got Hantavirus: thank you. [hits button on soundboard marked "Insane Asylum"]

Bobby Raines:
BR: Five miles offshore today on the Snark Ark, because I'm not going onshore, I refuse to do it. I cannot go into the city anymore, I'm sorry. The kids in that Occupy Movement driving me absolutely crazy when I go by. [to Miles Rogers] To me, it appears to break down into two main groups, Uncle Fester. You've got the wide-eyed stoner kid who's hitting the gecko bong more frequently than one of Bob Marley's kids at a Phish concert, or else you have the disaffected rich kid who's [shouts] Gonna show my dad that I'm not part of the whole machine! You walk in his shoes, you walk in his shoes, I've just had enough!

Miles Rogers:
MR: So what are you trying to say, Bobby?

Bobby Raines:
BR: What I'm saying is its over, it's time to Zamboni off the loser ice and get these kids outta there! One man's saving the world as we know it is another man's vagrancy and at this point, I only see you as squatters who apparently don't know squat, all right? We've had enough of it, kids: time to go home now and get back in the basement, OK? And you know, they always hit me with "You don't have any compassion for the common man".

Bobby Raines:
BR: What, are you kidding me? I want to help the helpless, I don't want to help the clueless, and you have officially lapsed over into clueless, my friend. Listen: you're looking back on times that weren't even hip when they were hip. Woodstock was a mud hole with no cell coverage, all right, my man? You're a dreamer, you are a rebel without a clue, and I'm sorry to blow your mind, little Silver Surfer but guess what? It's a time in history when your mind deserves to be blown! [hits button marked "Boom": studio explodes]

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
[Danny is pushing Steve's dead car uphill while Steve is steering it] All right, right here.

Steve McGarrett:
No, no, no. Shoulder's too thin. Another 20 feet and we're good.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Another 20 feet, I'm gonna be in traction.

Steve McGarrett:
You wanna steer?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Huh? [Danny stops pushing]

Steve McGarrett:
[the car st?rts rolling backward] Whoa, whoa.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Do I wanna steer? No. I don't wanna steer. I wanna continue to push this 3-ton hunk of metal up a hill in 95 degree weather. That's what I want to do! No. I don't want to steer. Yes, I'll steer. Thank you. [Danny walks to driver's door to steering wheel as Steve goes to back of car to push] Nine miles. Ha, ha. Nine miles. Nine miles. You been working on your dad's old wreck for six months, and you get nine miles out of it. I'm very impressed.

Steve McGarrett:
This is a classic car, and classic cars are temperamental, okay?

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Temperamental?

Steve McGarrett:
Just like you.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
No, no, no. That is an excuse. That is an excuse for poor automobile maintenance, my friend. Okay? This is a car. It is not temperamental. It is a product. When it stops working, you get another one! You understand?

Steve McGarrett:
What happened to you, man? I mean, where's your sentimental side? There's nothing in there.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
I don't have a sentimental side, okay? And if I did, it would be reserved for human beings, not dopey machines.

Steve McGarrett:
Classic machines.

Danny 'Danno' Williams:
Yeah, I know. One person's classic is another person's scrap metal.

Steve McGarrett:
Well, thank you very much, Socrates.

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