Hell or High Water

Tanner Howard:
This is Mr. Pibb. I asked for a Dr. Pepper.

Toby Howard:
So?

Tanner Howard:
Only a**holes drink Mr. Pibb.

Old Man:
You fellas robbin' the bank?

Tanner Howard:
What's it look like, old man?

Old Man:
Crazy! Y'all ain't even Mexicans.

Toby Howard:
You got a gun on you, old man?

Old Man:
You're damn right I got a gun on me. Y'all going to steal my gun too?

Toby Howard:
We ain't stealing from you. We're stealing from the bank.

Bear:
I am a Comanche. Do you know what it means? It means 'Enemy to everyone'.

Tanner Howard:
Do you know what that makes me? A Comanche.

Tanner Howard:
You know I love you, don't you?

Toby Howard:
I love you too.

Tanner Howard:
Hey Toby, go f*** yourself.

Toby Howard:
Go f*** yourself.

[they cheerfully laugh]

Marcus Hamilton:
Oh, who knows. Maybe one of these bank robbers is gonna want a gunfight and I can dodge my retirement in a blaze of glory.

Alberto Parker:
Well, I've seen you shoot. There won't be much glory in it.

Marcus Hamilton:
This is what they call white man's intuition.

Alberto Parker:
Sometimes a blind pig finds a truffle.

Marcus Hamilton:
Care to give it a watch while I wander over to that burger joint?

Alberto Parker:
Would you order me something while you're there? I'm starving.

Marcus Hamilton:
I doubt they serve pemmican.

Alberto Parker:
You know I'm part Mexican, too.

Marcus Hamilton:
Yeah, well, I'm gonna get to that when I'm through with the Indian insults, but it's gonna be a while.

Bank Manager:
You rangers are an odd bunch.

Alberto Parker:
No, just him.

Tanner Howard:
Are you trying to make me mad? I said Dr Pepper. This is Mr. Pibb.

Toby Howard:
It's all they had.

Tanner Howard:
Only a**holes drink Mr. Pibb.

Toby Howard:
Drink up.

Marcus Hamilton:
[referring to a TV evangelist] He wouldn't know God if he crawled up his pant leg and bit him on the pecker.

Toby Howard:
I've been poor my whole life, like a disease passing from generation to generation. But, not my boys. Not anymore.

Tanner Howard:
[to a bellicose thug threatening him] Boy, you'd think there were ten of me.

T-Bone Waitress:
I've been working here for 44 years. Ain't nobody ever ordered nothing but a T-Bone steak and baked potato. Except one time, this a**hole from New York ordered a trout, back in 1987. We ain't got no goddamned trout.