Herbie Fully Loaded

Maggie Peyton:
[reading the note in Herbie's glove box] "Please take care of Herbie. Whatever your problems, he will help you solve them." Great, a fortune cookie on wheels.

Jeff Gordon:
This car just winked at me.

Jimmie Johnson:
A racecar just winked at you?

Jeff Gordon:
I swear. The car just winked at me.

Jimmie Johnson:
Are you feeling OK? Is it the pressure?

Maggie Peyton:
[seeing Herbie with a lovestruck expression after he sees a brand new Volkswagen Beetle] Herbie, she's too young for you.

[last lines]

Ray Peyton Sr.:
All right, go on, get out of here... I mean it, Herbie.

Maggie Peyton:
I'm being carjacked by my own car!

Kevin:
[shouting during a race] Come on Maggie!... I mean, Maxi!

Charisma:
Would you really rather be reporting the stories instead of being them?

Maggie Peyton:
It wasn't me, it was Herbie.

Kevin:
Herbie is a *car*.

Beeman:
I wouldn't insult him if I was you. He's sensitive.

Crazy Dave:
He's a car.

Beeman:
Yeah, I know. It's just that he's proud. That's all I'm saying. The shed I got him out of was just full of these old trophies. I think he used to be a racecar.

Crazy Dave:
A racecar? [chuckles] Yeah. You know, I bet it took first place in the Ugly-anapolis 500.

Trip Murphy:
What have I got to lose? It's a Bug.

Charisma:
Anyway, I thought I'd come back to start our road trip early.

Maggie Peyton:
Slight problem. I promised I'd meet a friend out in the desert.

Charisma:
Why? Are you burying a body?

Charisma:
[to Maggie] I still can't believe you were pulling a Racer X on everybody.

Monster Truck Driver:
I'm gonna wipe that Bug off my windshield!

Crash:
I didn't do that. It was the car.

Maggie Peyton:
His name is Herbie.

Crash:
That's a ridiculous na...

[as Crash almost said 'name', Herbie's seat ejected and ridded Crash, for his remark. Crash landed into a crowd]

Trip Murphy:
That car is alive! You gotta believe me. It's mocking me! I'm telling you! That car is alive! Look! It's doing it again!

Maggie Peyton:
You don't understand. That's my car out there.

Jimmy D.:
Well, now, you parked it in the wrong place.