House M.D.

House M.D.



Year:
2004
Website
12,926 Views

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
[Cuddy is in her office, crying. Wilson comes in] I'm busy.

Dr. Wilson:
You okay?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
Yeah, sure.

Dr. Wilson:
Um, what I mean by "Are you okay?" is "What the hell did House do?"

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
Nothing.

Dr. Wilson:
What did he say?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
I've seen House been rude a thousand times, usually to achieve something. I have never seen him be mean just because he can.

Dr. Wilson:
Seriously? What did he say?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
[sighs] Nothing. Doesn't matter.

Dr. Wilson:
Well, I've seen House be rude to you a thousand times, but I've never seen it get it to you.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
People think that House has no inner censor. The fact is he holds himself back because when he wants to hurt, he knows just where to poke a sharp stick. [sniffs] I have been trying to get pregnant and House knew. He told me I was a failure as a mother.

Dr. Wilson:
And you're upset because you think he's right?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
I have had three separate implantations: the first two never took, the last one I... lost.

Dr. Wilson:
I'm sorry. You didn't fail. Those were physical events.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
A little girl is scared and in pain. I was awkward, terrified of doing the wrong thing.

Dr. Wilson:
That's normal, that's...

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
I didn't hug her. I didn't even... reach out and hold her hand. I told her it was gonna be okay.

Dr. Wilson:
She needed reassurance.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
I told her her folks might get back together. [laughs wrily] When I see people with their kids, it's so natural. It's like they have an instruction book imprinted on their genes. [voice breaking] Maybe I just didn't get a copy. Maybe my wanting to be a mother is like a tone-deaf person wanting to sing opera or a paraplegic who wants to...

Dr. Wilson:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [sighs] Well, I see what you mean about House poking the right spot.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
[enters Exam Room One, where Cuddy is with a patient] Working

Dr. Gregory House:
We need to talk.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
[turns to face him] Get back to the ICU! Who un-cuffed you?

Dr. Gregory House:
[holding his surgical papers] Why would a surgeon administer Ketamine?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
[hesitates for a bit] Who showed you your surgical file?

Dr. Gregory House:
How do you know it's mine?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
Because your patient hasn't had surgery and you don't care about anybody else.

Dr. Gregory House:
My anesthesia was almost nonexistent [raises eyebrows] , and yet I wasn't awake. For some reason, somebody decided to put me in a dissociative coma instead of just putting me out.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
There are plenty of reasons to use...

Dr. Gregory House:
Fine. I'll go beat the truth out of my surgeon. [bitter] Gillick, right? [turns to leave; Cuddy watches him go and observes him walking down the hallway, sans the cane assisting him; sentimental music plays as he walks]

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
[still staring emotionally] It - worked. [House turns shocked and confused] There's a clinic in Germany; they've been treating chronic pain by inducing comas and letting the mind basically reboot itself. There's about a 50% chance your pain will come back, which of course means thee is a 50% chance that it won't.

Dr. Gregory House:
[slowly turns to anger and walks toward her] You had no right...

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
To heal you?

Dr. Gregory House:
You messed with my brain!

Dr. Lisa Cuddy:
[angry] Why are you so upset? Are you experiencing any neurological symptoms? Dizziness? Tremors? Hallucinations?

Dr. Gregory House:
No. [mouth twitches] It's a point of principle. [turns to leave]

Dr. Eric Foreman:
[at House's hospital bed] Test was negative.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
No trash against the fence. [he looks at his papers] Is your leg really better?

Dr. Gregory House:
[distracted] Don't worry; I'm sure something else is wrong.

Dr. Robert Chase:
We did find blood. [House looks up and eyes Chase]

Dr. Gregory House:
On which side?

Dr. Robert Chase:
[walking around] The wrong side.

Dr. Gregory House:
First thing that makes sense.

Dr. Robert Chase:
The wrong side's the wrong side; it can't make sense.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
It'd mess with his brain. Wouldn't cause fever. [eyes Moriarty] He's been sleeping a lot lately.

Dr. Gregory House:
[looks up at her] You worried? I marked a change of meds on his chart. [sighs] Foreign object. Body wants to get rid of it. It causes the fever.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
[in monotone disbelief] Blood's a foreign object?

Dr. Eric Foreman:
In the brain lining, it is. Blood dyscrasia means cancer.

Dr. Gregory House:
Find it.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
All the tests...

Dr. Gregory House:
have been negative! What do you do if your trash cans are full? You use your neighbor's trash cans. Except it's still light outside. Your neighbor will see you. So you go out the back way, into an alley, and drop off your trash by their garage.

Dr. Robert Chase:
We'll check the lymphatic system in the chest. [turns and starts walking]

Dr. Gregory House:
[looks at him astonished] You got that from trash cans in the alley?

Dr. Robert Chase:
[stops to speak] The saliva glands from the tongue are connected to the lymphatic system in the lungs. It's the next lymphatic system over.

Dr. Gregory House:
[scans the team] Yeah. Go get lung lymph. [Everyone leaves]

Jack Moriarty:
[woken up] How did he know that?

Dr. Gregory House:
I wouldn't have hired him if he wasn't smart.

Jack Moriarty:
Right. Because you have nothing but respect for him. Maybe he knew the answer because the question wasn't nearly as tricky as you thought. [House considers this] Maybe he's not getting smarter. You're getting dumber. [cut to a surgery; back to Moriarty and a fake sleeping House] You pretend to buck the system. Pretend to be a rebel. You claim to hate rules. But all you do is substitute your own rules for society's. And it's a nice, simple rule. Tell the blunt, honest truth in the starkest, darkest way and what will be will be. What will be should be. And everyone else is a coward. But you're wrong. It's not cowardly to not call someone an idiot. People aren't tactful or polite because it's nice. They do it because they've got an ounce of humility. Because they know that they will make mistakes and they know that their actions have consequences and they know that those consequences are their fault. Why do you want so bad not to be human, House? [Cameron and Foreman come back in] Oh, he's awake.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
House, we need to talk to you.

Dr. Gregory House:
[eyes still closed] How the hell did you know I was awake?

Jack Moriarty:
Your nostrils flare when you sleep.

Carnell:
House...

Dr. Gregory House:
I like you, Carnell. [phone rings] Don't ruin it. [picks up a phone] Stinky feet, could point to diabetes, athlete's foot or gangrene. Pick one.

Carnell:
No!

Dr. Chris Taub:
Uh, none. None of those cause bloody sputum or disappearing masses.

Carnell:
No, no, no! No! You are going to kill her.

Dr. Gregory House:
Don't do that Carnell. They might get the idea that I'm shooting at a hooker. Fungal infection causes ulceration between the toes. Bleeding can be from recurring abscesses that appear to be recurring masses.

Martha Masters:
Symptoms in the head or feet mean the infection would have to be in the heart or the brain.

Dr. Chris Taub:
I say we start by looking in the heart because looking at his brain with a metal plate is problematic.

Dr. Robert Chase:
So is MRI-ing his heart. He's got a seven centimeter conductive metal rod holding his rib together.

Dr. Eric Foreman:
It'll rip him in two.

Dr. Gregory House:
No, it'll just feel like it's ripping him in two, which is much better.

Dr. Chris Taub:
We could minimize the damage by injecting ice-water into his abdominal cavity.

Carnell:
No! Please, no! [House shoots an arrow and Carnell finds an arrow sticking Sarah's body, bleeding] Oh, God!

Dr. Gregory House:
Opps. Got to go.

Carnell:
Call an ambulance!

Dr. Gregory House:
Why?

Carnell:
What do you mean, why! She's hurt!

Dr. Gregory House:
She doesn't look hurt. [Sarah starts laughing]

Carnell:
No, you didn't.

Dr. Gregory House:
Yes, we did.

Carnell:
[Sarah shows the trick] You're an ass.

Dr. Gregory House:
Okay, go get me General Patton's Colt .45. The one with two notches.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
[team meeting in room to discuss patient ] Labs show valium and heroin in her urine.

Dr. Robert Chase:
A supermodel on smack. Shocker. [Gets up]

Dr. Gregory House:
[looking away] Oh, Alex. I expected so much more from you. Heroin chic is so five years ago.

Dr. Eric Foreman:
Okay. Let's start crossing out withdrawal symptoms.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
A positive test means she tried it once; doesn't mean she's an addict; she's only 15.

Dr. Eric Foreman:
There's no age limit on addiction.

Dr. Gregory House:
He's right. [dramatically swallows Vicodin]

Dr. Robert Chase:
She's never menstruated; sounds like a symptom of drug addiction to me.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
Or bulimia o-or her age. Some girls don't start 'til their mid to late teens.

Dr. Gregory House:
Evidence to the contrary: The round hips. The perfectly sculpted, bountiful breasts.

Dr. Robert Chase:
Implants. I've seen some of her photos. They've grown dramatically since last summer.

Dr. Gregory House:
Symptomatic of turning 14. Two clinic hours says that those love apples are handcrafted by God.

Dr. Eric Foreman:
[incredulous, walks over to House] Whoa! I thought that you didn't believe in God.

Dr. Gregory House:
I do now.

Dr. Robert Chase:
You're on. [comes over to House and the two men bump fists]

Dr. Allison Cameron:
[disgusted] Could we talk about her health instead of her breasts?

Dr. Gregory House:
It could be relevant. Come on, Cameron. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Many women develop breasts - [House slips due to pain and catches himself on a table, disrupting the table's contents while the team looks on. He regains his composure; looks back to team] No, I'm fine.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
Even if she is an addict, a lot of her symptoms - the cataplexy, the violence - they could be neurological. We chalk this up to drugs, we could be releasing her with Juvenile M.S. or Parkinson's or...

Dr. Gregory House:
[interrupts] So detox her.

Dr. Eric Foreman:
Fine. We'll set her up on a program that'll wean her onto the methadone.

Dr. Gregory House:
And in four weeks, we'll know that you're right. Or, we'll know that Cameron's right and the pretty girl will do Milan next fall in a wheelchair. Put her in a coma and pump her full of naltrexone. Cut the four weeks in one night. [House exits; Cameron and Chase look to Foreman]