Little Nicky

In Little Nicky, Adam Sandler plays the sweetest of three sons of Satan (Harvey Keitel), who's got to go to Earth and retrieve his nasty, power-hungry brothers lest they take over Hell and make it a thoroughly evil place. As with Sandler's other films, this weird premise (based oh-so-loosely on King Lear) is just an excuse to trot out a hodgepodge of comic bits and cameo performances. Admittedly, a lot of the jokes don't work (there was no need to repeat the one about shoving a pineapple up Hitler's ass), but the ones that do tend to be more memorable than the ones that don't, making for a pretty funny movie, when all is said and done. Sure, it's hard to overcome Sandler's speech impediment du jour, not to mention that romantic subplot with Patricia Arquette, but it can be done by focusing on the brilliant cameos by Regis Philbin, Reese Witherspoon, Ozzy Osbourne, and Henry Winkler (especially when he's covered with bees), as well as one of the funniest uses of a scene from De Palma's Scarface in years. Supporting Sandler throughout are two very funny heavy metal disciples and a bulldog named Beefy (voiced by Robert Smigel, the man behind Triumph the Insult Comic Dog). And, in an almost unrecognizable cameo, that's Clint Howard as the cross-dressing fetishist named "Nipples." --Andy Spletzer

Genre: Comedy, Fantasy
Production: New Line Cinema
  1 win & 12 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.3
Metacritic:
38
Rotten Tomatoes:
22%
PG-13
Year:
2000
90
$38,542,597
Website
7,652 Views

Bishop/Adrian:
  Yep, the Lord sure did say a lot of hibbity jibbity bibbity swibbity…but, has he ever really done anything for any of us? Has he ever put a Jaguar XJR in my driveway? No.

Man #1:
  I love that car.

Bishop/Adrian:
  Has the Lord given any of my enemies the herpes?

Man #2:
  [laughing] The herpes?

Bishop/Adrian:
  No!

Woman:
  The Lord gave my son the strength to get off drugs! [congregation cheers]

Bishop/Adrian:
  Ma'am, I know your son. And believe me, he was better off on the drugs. At least when he was smoking hashish, he used to make me laugh occasionally. [congregation laughs]

Man #3:
  After we tried for many years, the Lord finally helped my wife conceive a baby. [congregation cheers]

Bishop/Adrian:
  No, no, no. Your best friend, Fitzy, helped your wife conceive a baby. He helped her conceive it all night long!

Fitzy:
  Hey, hey, hey! [congregation boos]

Bishop/Adrian:
  How about you, Mayor? Has the Lord ever done anything for you?

Mayor/Cassius:
Well, you know, I…I wished I could think of something, but to be honest with you, I can't! I can't think of a damn thing he's ever done for me! Kind of makes you wonder if there even is a Lord. If there even is an ultimate punishment for our so-called "sins!" Why don't we all just have fun and do whatever the hell we want?! Hey, hey!

Bishop/Adrian:
  Let the sin begin!

Cassius:
  [thinking] "Let the sin begin." That was a good one!

Adrian:
  [thinking] This is so much fun! I never want it to end!

Cassius:
  [thinking] Why should it end? Who's going to stop us?! Ha ha ha ha!

Bishop/Adrian:
  Ah ha ha ha ha!

Nicky:
  [to basketball] I command you not to blow up and go into that metal circle. [throws basketball underhand; at the last second, the ref/Cassius jumps up, catches ball]

Ref/Cassius:
  Nyah!

Nicky:
  Hey!

Ref/Cassius:
  Get that crap out of here!

Nicky:
  I know you're having fun, Cassius, but you've really got to come back to Hell!

Cassius:
  Look around you, Nicky! We're in Hell. The new Hell! Ha ha ha!

[Nicky looks over at audience, sees two pregnant women with Fitzy 'raising the roof', also sees three shirtless men with the "SIN" painted on their torsos]

Old Lady:
  [swinging a shirt over her head] Do it! Do it! Do it! Whee-eeee-eeeeeeeeee!

Cassius:
  Ha ha ha!

Nicky:
  I was sent here to take you back, and that's what I'm going to do!

Cassius:
  Don't make me take out the shovel again, Trick!

Pete:
  I think we're about to see a devil showdown!

Nicky:
  You know, Dad got sick when you guys left!

Cassius :
I'm glad he's dying, because it's my turn now.

Nicky:
  [while spinning the basketball on his finger] You're going to wish you never said that. [Cassius and Nicky start playing basketball]

Beefy:
  Take him to the hole, Nicky! [Todd looks at Beefy] I mean, "Woof, woof!"

Cassius:
  Come on, brother, come on! Oh, come on! Ha ha ha ha! [singsongy] Daddy can't help you! Daddy can't help you!

[Nicky jumps in the air, yelling, causing random objects to explode, then makes the basket, shattering the glass]

Boy's Father:
  This show gets better every year!

Boy's Mother:
  Ah ha ha ha ha!

Cassius:
  That was sick! Who taught you that shit?

Nicky:
  Sorry, Cassius…it must be the Super Devil Juice Dad gave me!

Cassius:
  Super Devil Juice?! Give me that, little girl!

Nicky:
  Don't drink out of it, please! [Cassius drinks out of flask, gets sucked inside]

Boy's Mother:
  Now that was some straight-up David Copperfield shit!

Cassius:
  [from inside flask] Damn you, Nicky! There ain't no Super Devil Juice in here!

John:
  Hail, Nicky!

Pete:
  We are forever your slaves!

Beefy:
  Your brothers are upsetting the balance between good and evil!

Nicky:
  Well, what can I do about it?

Beefy:
  You can't do jack shit unless you learn your evil powers. Go get a soda out of the fridge.

Nicky:
  But those are my roommate's sodas!

Beefy:
  [mockingly] "But those are my roommate's sodas!" Does that sound like a statement the son of the devil would make!?

Nicky:
  All right, take it easy!

Beefy:
  Nicky, you have the power to change the cola in that can into any other liquid: engine oil, bat's blood, moose piss. You just have to release the evil within!

Nicky:
  Release the evil?

Beefy:
  I'm just saying, there's wickedness in you. I can tell from your snores!

Nicky:
  Really?

Beefy:
  Release your evil!

Nicky:
  Release the evil.

Beefy:
  Come on, you can do it. [Nicky lifts Coke can with his mind] There it is. You got it in you.

Todd:
  What are you doing?!

Nicky:
  Hey!

Beefy:
  Oh! I—[leaps off couch, hops onto fire escape]

Todd:
  All right, I'm going to pretend I didn't see a dog on the couch, because my brain just can't process that right now. But were you about to drink one of my Cokes?!

Nicky:
  No. I was just looking at it. It's beautiful.

Todd:
  [opens can, takes sip] This Coke tastes like Pepsi.

Beefy:
  You changed a Coke into a Pepsi? That was your big transformation?!

Nicky:
  Come on man, give it up a little, I mean, it was pretty good for my first try.

Beefy:
  Do you even care that your brothers are killing your father?!

Nicky:
  Yes, I care! And he is not going to die! [flames appear in Nicky's eyes, then a loud explosion is heard]

Beefy:
  Atta boy.

Todd:
  [walks out of a hallway filled with smoke] I'm freaked out. My television just blew up.

Nicky:
  You're damn right it did! I mean, "Really?"

Street vendor:
  [appears while Nicky is sleeping in Central Park] My man's into deep nocturnal shit. [steals Nicky's flask] Whoo! Mm-hmm, yeah!

John:
  Yo, man, I think that guy just stole his stuff!

Pete:
 Should we wake him up?

John:
  Yeah. You do it.

Pete:
  Rise and shine, Devil Guy! Some dude just stole your shit!

Nicky:
  What?! Where?! [exhales fire; John and Pete stare in amazement] Which way did he go?

John:
  Uh, that way!

Nicky:
  Thanks! Give me back my flask!

Pete:
  Did you check out the dragon mouth?!

John:
  The Dark Prince is here! [they head-butt one another]

Street vendor:
  Check out my stuff, I got a low price! Uh, I got a pepper shaker! I got a silver doodad from Africa!

Nicky:
  [approaches the stand] Hey.

Street vendor:
  See something you like, my man?

Nicky:
  Yes, I would like my flask back!

Street vendor:
  You're calling me a thief, my man?

Nicky:
  I'm calling you the guy who has my flask.

Street vendor:
  How would I have it unless I was, in fact, a thief?

Nicky:
  I don't know.

[Deleted scene; a customer arrives]

Customer:
  Ooh. How much for the silver flask there?

Street vendor:
  Ah, my man. Business, business, business. That's a special item selling. The cap alone is one hundred percent pure... plappium.

Nicky:
  "Plappium"?

Street vendor:
  It's valued at over three hundred dollars.

Customer:
  Really? What's it from?

Nicky:
  It was handcrafted in Hell by Satan himself, and its sole purpose is to get the Fireball of Hades burning once again.

Customer:
  I'm gonna keep looking.

[Theatrical version resumes]

Street vendor:
  Now, you've done it. You've messed with my business, bitch!

Nicky:
  I would appreciate it if you would keep your voice down! [flames appear in Nicky's eyes]

Street vendor:
  Oh, you're going all crazy eyed on me? I'll show you some crazy eye! [clicks tongue really fast with fists up] Look at this, come on, let's get busy!

Valerie:
  Excuse me, sir?

Street vendor:
  Who?

Valerie:
  Does, um, that flask belong to this man?

Street vendor:
  Now you're going to call me a thief, too?! Damn!

Valerie:
  Okay, look. Today, the guy you ripped off just happened to walk by and bust you, so why don't you just…give him the flask back?

Street vendor:
  What're you going to do if I don't, bite me with your snaggletooth?

Valerie:
  No. But maybe that policeman over there might have something to say.

Street vendor:
  Awwwww, take your dumb-ass canteen, goofy! [turns to Valerie] And you, get your raggedy-ass clothes and find yourself another corner, before I show you what crazy really is!

Valerie:
  Fine, I will!

Street vendor:
  I'm a business man! Blah-blah-blah-blah!

Nicky:
  I'll be seeing you in a few years. [street vendor clicks tongue really fast at Nicky as he leaves]

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