Loco Boy Makes Good

[Larry, as a waiter, is passing by, dinner order in hand]

Bearded nightclub patron:
[to Larry as he passes by] Uh, pardon me. Do you have p?t? de fois gras?

Larry:
[Clearly confused] I'll see if the band can play it.

Larry:
[thrown out of a hotel where the rent's $1 a month] He can't throw us out just because we're eight months behind on the rent.

Moe:
But he did. I'm going back in to get my other shirt.

Curly:
Get my other pair of socks too, they're standing up behind the stove.

Curly:
[to the cake of soap] You work with me, and I'll see that you're put in the tub and NOBODY uses ya. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Curly:
[to Moe] Don't you DARE hit me in the head, you know I'm not normal!

Moe:
Wait a minute, Shylock, she'll have the money on time.

Curly:
Yeah and I'll see that you get it too, me, myself, I personally, I'll guarantee it personally, see?

Mr. Scroggins:
And who are you?

Moe:
Who is he? Why he's one of the biggest steelmen in the country. He'd steal any... I mean his steel is known from coast to coast. Will E. Steel.

Curly:
And how!

Curly:
Is that you hat?

Mr. Scroggins:
Yes.

Curly:
[takes it off] Why don't you get your head Simonized?

Grandma:
Oh how can I ever thank you?

Curly:
Don't try, by the way, here's $52 I just found in my hand.

Grandma:
Why that's the amount I gave Mr. Scroggins!

Curly:
Well ain't that a coinci-dunk?

Moe:
Say, did you notice the beautiful watch Scroggins had on?

Curly:
Notice it? [pulls it out] I got it! We can buy paint and wallpaper, I won't need this soap anymore!

Moe:
[Curly slips on the soap] Hey kid, are ya hurt?

Curly:
Yeah, but I don't care! [laughs]