Meet the Feebles

Bletch:
I'm afraid you can't.

Bletch:
No, they just don't want a**holes in the clubhouse.

Bletch:
Do you really think people are interested in nasal sex?

Trevor:
Sure, boss. It's the next big fad.

Bletch:
Have you thought of a name for it yet?

Trevor:
I was thinking along the lines of...Dick does Daisy.

Bletch:
No. That's lousy.

Trevor:
How about...Anal Antics?

Bletch:
Anal Antics...yes. It will appeal to the intellectuals. Do you think it will do as well as our last release and win the hooker prize?

Bletch:
Sh*t! I was just about to pop my cookies!

Heidi:
Eat lead you man-stealing slut!

Bletch:
Trevor...

Trevor:
Yeah boss?

Bletch:
I want that fudge packer eliminated!

Heidi:
Uh, no I haven't.

Trevor:
Didn't you notice you were sitting on his face!

Robert:
I'm Robert.

Trevor:
You may be Robert to your friends but you're fly sh*t to me! Piss off!

Trevor:
I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer.

Robert:
I thought you were nice.

Robert:
No your not, you're loose! And you drink!

Robert:
You're nothing but a loose lush Lucille and I never want to see you again!

[first lines of the film]

Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen. Your attention please. Welcome to the newest, the greatest, the most spectacular in entertainment history. Put your hands together for the fabulous Feebles variety hour.

Trevor:
Didn't you notice you were sitting on his face!

Madame Udder:
Well, it was a bit uncomfortable but I thought it was my hemorrhoids.

Sebastian:
Heidi! You've been overeating again haven't you!

Heidi:
Uh, no I haven't.

Sebastian:
Then explain to me why there is black forest cherry cake in your cleavage!

Bletch:
[heading to the golf course] Hey Barry, how's your handicap?

Barry the Bulldog:
She's at home boss. Baking a cake.

[Bletch and his henchman laugh]

Cedric:
This is a lovely golf course, I'm tempted to join the club meself.

Bletch:
No chance of that I'm afraid, Cedric.

Cedric:
You mean they discriminate against Scots?

Bletch:
No, they just don't want a**holes in the clubhouse.

Trevor:
All right, you fat slag! Move your ass!

Heidi:
How dare you speak to me like that! You horrible, spiteful little rat!

Trevor:
I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer!

Heidi:
That's it, I've had enough! I am going straight to Bletch!

[last lines of the film]

Arthur:
Miss Heidi. I know you're a real star and all that. But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to dub you in.

Heidi:
Could you do one last thing, Arthur?

Arthur:
Anything, Heidi.

Heidi:
Play "The Garden of Love".

Bletch:
[last words before his death] Oh, sh*t!

Guppy:
Is something the matter, Mr. Bletch?

Abi:
Please do not interrupt me, I am traveling on the astral plane.