Minions

Scarlett Overkill:
Work for me, and all this will be yours: respect, power...

Stuart the Minion:
Banana!

Scarlett Overkill:
...Banana!

Queen Elizabeth II:
[beats up Stuart] Gentlemen do not steal ladies' crowns!

Scarlett Overkill:
DO you know who this is? [points at a British Royal portrait]

Kevin the Minion:
Uh... la cucaracha?

Scarlett Overkill:
This is Queen Elizabeth! And I really, really, really want her crown!

Herb Overkill:
THIS IS TORTURE! [the Minions play with a hangman's noose]

Herb Overkill:
Guys! Cut it out! This is really unprofessional!

Scarlett Overkill:
Doesn't it feel so good to be bad?

Bob the Minion:
KING BOB!

[in a spa, with two fire hydrants]

Stuart the Minion:
Mi bellas! [makes out with them]

Tower Guard:
So... You came for the queen's crown, did ya? Well, you're gonna have to get through me! The keeper of her crown!

[Kevin, Stuart and Bob laugh, because the tower guard is in the wrong direction]

Kevin the Minion:
[mockingly] "You're gonna have to get through me!"

[gets hit in the head by a cane]

Kevin the Minion:
Ow, hey!

Tower Guard:
You!

[hits Kevin right between his legs with his cane]

Kevin the Minion:
Aaaaahhhhh! Huh? Hehe.

[from trailer]

Minions:
[Picking a banana under a rock] C'est banana! Hahaha! Miam Miam! Huh? [the rock starts rolling down towards a T-Rex] Ay yi yi!

[from trailer]

Minions:
[as a primitive is about hit hit a bear with a club] No, no, no! Hey, a pi?ata!

[the Minions cheered as the primitive hits the bear with a fly swatter, then the bear eats him alive as the Minions screamed in terror]

[from trailer]

Herb Overkill:
Woah! These guys are pumped!

Scarlett Overkill:
Maybe I'll settle them down with a bedtime story.

Bob the Minion:
Bedtime story?

Scarlett Overkill:
Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. The pigs encountered a big, bad wolf, who hired the three pigs to come work for her. One day, the pigs did something very stupid, so the wolf huffed, and puffed and she BLEW THEM OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH! The end.

Walter Nelson:
You're going to Villain-Con, aren't ya?

Bob the Minion:
Villain-Con!

Tina:
[shows Kevin her magazine] I'm going to get all of my favorite villains to sign my magazine! Scarlet Overkill! If I was a minion, that's who'd I want to work for!

[from trailer]

Kevin the Minion:
Ah, hehehehe.

Stuart the Minion:
[backs off Kevin] No no no no, Kevin, let me do it, let me do it, spita.

[holds up his hand, tries to get the tar truck to stop, but fails and falls back]

Kevin the Minion:
[laughs]

[mockingly]

Kevin the Minion:
No no no no, let me do it, let me do it, spita!

Stuart the Minion:
Macao.

[lifts up rock]

Stuart the Minion:
Mackaro!

[throws it and lays on it unhappily]

Kevin the Minion:
[gets his cardboard sign ready, a car is honking and stops]

Bob the Minion:
NO!

[coughing]

Kevin the Minion:
[nervously holds up sign reading "Orlando"]

Madge Nelson:
[opens car door and takes off her sunglasses] Oh Walter, look, these adorable little freaks are headed to Orlando too!

[after growing into a giant by one of Herb's inventions, destroying the Overkill residence while the villains from Villain-Con watch]

Kevin the Minion:
[loud booming voice] Bello.

Scarlett Overkill:
They took everything from me! My castle, my reputation! Things look bleak, baby, I'm not gonna lie! But now, at least, I have my crown!

[Gru freezes her off-screen]

Scarlett Overkill:
You have no idea who you're messing with! I am the greatest supervillain of all time!

Young Gru:
[chuckles] Oh, WERE you?

[the minions chase after Gru]

Scarlett Overkill:
Are you really going to allow that little penguin to make off with MY crown?

[no one listens to her]

Scarlett Overkill:
Oh, Herb... I'm done!

[last lines]

Narrator:
And that is how the Minions found their new boss! He was cunning! He was evil! He was perfect! He was... despicable!

[Bob gives Scarlet his crown]

Scarlett Overkill:
For me? Aww.

Bob the Minion:
Si, para tu. Bye-bye!