O. Henry's Full House

Johnny Kernan:
Once they make you walk up an alley, you never use a front door again.

Sam 'Slick' Brown:
An oil well is a hole in the ground surrounded by suckers.

Sam 'Slick' Brown:
Pull yourself together, William! What's a confidence man without confidence?

Sam 'Slick' Brown:
[Being chased by a bear] We're going up a tree, William!

Bill Peoria:
Can bears climb trees?

Sam 'Slick' Brown:
Here he comes! We'll soon find out!

Sam 'Slick' Brown:
[after shimmying up the tree] William, I think it's a cinnamon bear.

Bill Peoria:
I don't care what flavor he is. He's more apt to taste me.

Soapy:
It may interest to you to know, my good man, that I and the minutest coin of the realm are total strangers.

Waiter:
How's that?

Soapy:
I said I was broke!