Phenomenon

George Malley:
This is good, Lace. I think you're a good cook.

Lace Pennamin:
No, I'm not. I only make two things pretty well: pork chops and, um, turkey.

George Malley:
Hm. Which is this?

Bonnie:
George Malley! You learned the Portuguese language in 20 minutes?

George Malley:
Not all of it.

Doc:
Let's see, uh... George... George... there's a tumor in your brain, that's spread out like a hand, threads of it, you know, everywhere. But instead of dysfunction - now here's the mystery, George. Instead of destroying brain function, so far it's been stimulating it. We can't understand that. You have more area of active brain use than anybody ever tested - ever - because of those tentacles. I mean, we've seen tumors like this before, it's called astrocytoma. And it explains, uh, the dizziness, and... the illusion of light. But the way it's in there, waking up areas of the brain, it's a... big mystery. So...

George Malley:
And it's killing me.

George Malley:
Now, uh... he didn't say how long.

Lace Pennamin:
Days, or weeks... they don't, they don't know.

George Malley:
I'm so sorry, Lace. I know how you hate surprises.

Lace Pennamin:
I tried so hard not to love you.

George Malley:
How'd you make out?

Lace Pennamin:
Terrible.

George Malley:
Hey, would you, uh, love me the rest of my life?

Lace Pennamin:
No. I'm gonna love you for the rest of mine.

Lace Pennamin:
So, let me ask you something, George. When a man comes over with a basket full of tomatoes, what is he expecting? Dinner?

George Malley:
Nah, no, no. Just hoping.

Doc:
Every woman has her chair, something she needs to put herself into, Banes. You ever figure out what Lisa's chairs were and buy 'em?

Doc:
Nope. But, you're right about one thing, George never changed.

George Malley:
Everything is on its way to somewhere.

Now we were talking about a partnership. Do you know what the largest living organism in the world is? Ok, its a grove of aspen trees in Colorado…acres of aspens. Ok, now, they thought they were disconnected, separate, but indeed they found out that they weren’t. That there was one giant organism with the same root system.

Dr. Niedorf:
All right, I'll start the questions, and I'll be timing your responses, and we'll be recording. Any questions?

George:
What's your first name?

Dr. Niedorf:
Uh, my first name is Bob. [George reaches across the wide table to shake hands]

George:
Shoot, Bob.

Dr. Niedorf:
Right. Name as many mammals as you can in 60 seconds. Ready? Go. [starts stopwatch]

George:
Hmm. 60 seconds. Well, how would you like that? How about alphabetical? Aardvark, baboon, caribou, dolphin, eohippus, fox, gorilla, hyena, ibex, jackal, kangaroo, lion, marmoset, Newfoundland, ocelot, panda, rat, sloth, tiger, unicorn, varmint, whale, yak, zebra. Now "varmint" is a stretch; so is "Newfoundland" (that's a dog breed); "unicorn" is mythical, "eohippus" is prehistoric. But you weren't being very specific. Now were you, Bob?

Dr. Niedorf:
[pauses, then stops watch and laughs] Well! Ahh, I'll, uh — I'll try to be more specific. You ready for the next one?

George:
Shoot.

Dr. Niedorf:
Answer as quickly as you can... how old is a person born in 1928? [starts stopwatch]

George:
Man or a woman?

Dr. Niedorf:
[stops stopwatch and pauses] Why?

George:
Specifics, Bob.

Dr. Niedorf:
Okay, one more time. How old is a MAN born in 1928? [starts stopwatch]

George:
Still alive?

Dr. Niedorf:
[stops watch, pauses, nods] If a man is born in 1928, and he's still alive, how old is he? [starts stopwatch]

George:
What month?

Dr. Niedorf:
[stops stopwatch] If a man was born October 3, 1928, and he's still alive, how old is he? [starts stopwatch]

George:
What time?

Dr. Niedorf:
10:00... PM! [starts stopwatch]

George:
Where?

Dr. Niedorf:
[stops stopwatch; now impatient] Anywhere!

George:
Well. Let's get specific, Bob! I mean, if the guy's still alive, born in California, October 3, 1928, 10:00 PM. he 67 years, 9 months, 22 days, 14 hours, and... [takes Bob's hand to see his wristwatch] ...and 12 minutes. If he was born in New York, he's 3 hours older, now isn't he?

George:
Hey, would you, uh, love me the rest of my life?

Lace Pennamin:
No. I'm gonna love you for the rest of mine.

[George goes to the bar after his tests]

Banes:
What did they find out?

George:
I'm pregnant. That's how it feels. [Roger smirks]

Roger:
How what feels?

George:
Yeah, you know, to be full of ideas and you can't deliver, okay? I mean, you know, you're ready to break out and you can't deliver. You know, uh, this professor, he won't even talk to me. He won't even talk to me.

Nate Pope:
You're not going to Berkeley, George?

George:
Oh, come on. Me, at Berkeley? That's a thought, huh?

Nate:
I'm sorry, buddy.

Jimmy:
You mean, inventions? You got inventions?

George:
No, no. Ideas, okay? I get a thousand ideas a day, every d-damn minute. Okay? I got big, big, holy cow kind of ideas and, and little what if ideas. All right? Hey, I got ideas for you, Jimmy. Look at this. Look at this. Your parking lot- [shows papers] it's laid out all wrong, okay? Now, if you just follow this, right, you can put six more cars in and no one gets fender benders. All right? Where's Paulette? Where is she? Bonnie, here. Take this. [slides papers to her] This is a new route for our mail. Okay? Now, if she does this, she can save an hour a day and everybody gets their mail by three o'clock. Imagine, three o'clock. Oh, and l got a holy sh*t idea too. Look at this. [shows Jimmy diagram on legal pad] Now this may be the most efficient way to store solar energy. Okay? Take it.

Jimmy:
Well, what am I gonna do with it?

George:
What the hell am I supposed to do with it, huh? You know what that light was? You know what that sound was?

Jimmy:
Tell us.

George:
I'm gonna tell you what it was.

Jimmy:
Well, tell us!

Banes:
It was a damn alien.

Nate:
Don't say that. You don't know what it was.

George:
I know what it is, Nate.

Nate:
You don't know what it was. Don't say that.

Jimmy:
Well, tell us!

George:
It's a GODDAMN mistake, is what it is! Okay? It was supposed to happen to someone smart, someone that's scientific, someone who is a leader. But it didn't. It happened to me, George freakin' Malley. Look at him. Now look at him. Look! [his psychic powers slightly break the glass panel at the bar and Jimmy heads for cover]

[at Lace's house, George guides her son Al on repairing her truck's air filter]

Al Pennamin:
[coldly at George] You came here to die, didn't you?

George:
But I'm-- I like this place, and, um, [as Al walks off] I love the people here.

George Malley:
Love is buried under fear, and partnership, is right there under competition, and there's compassion underneath the greed. Nate, you gotta take your eraser and do the work. It's hard work and nobody can do it for you. There's no drug. That's the sum of it.

Doc:
[fuming off at his and George Malley's common friends belittling George's abilities] Why do ya have to tear him down? What are you so afraid of? What have you got to lose? He wasn't selling anything! He didn't want anything from anybody! He wanted nothing from nobody! Nothing! NOTHING!!! [pauses] And you people have to tear him down so you can sleep better tonight! So ya can prove that the world is flat and sleep better toniight! Am I right?... [pause; calms down, in soft voice] I'm right... The Hell with all of ya. The Hell with everyone of ya. [leaves the bar]