Quantum Leap

[repeated line - season 2]

Narrator:
Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM LEAP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Beckett, prematurely stepped into the Project Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own time was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al, the Project Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Beckett could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, putting things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next leap will be the leap home.

Sam:
I can't have a life. All I do is live someone else's life. I right their wrongs, I fight their fights - geez, I feel like I'm Don Quixote.

Al:
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures.

[repeated line - season 1]

Sam:
It all started when a time travel experiment I was conducting went... a little ka-ka. In the blink of a cosmic clock I went from quantum physicist to air force test pilot. Which could have been fun... if I knew how to fly. Fortunately, I had help. An observer from the project named Al. Unfortunately, Al's a hologram, so all he can lend is moral support. Anyway, here I am. Bouncing around in time, putting things right which once went wrong. A sort of time traveling Lone Ranger, with Al as my Tonto. And I don't even need a mask. Oh boy.

[Repeated line]

Sam:
Oh, boy...

[talking about God]

Sam:
In case you haven't noticed, Al, the Committee isn't running this Project anymore... He is.

Al:
Women - you can't trust 'em. They don't understand the double standard.

Sam:
I'm running track, Al.

Al:
Oh, well look, you pump your arms and you pump your legs and drive through the tape.

Sam:
You were a runner too?

Al:
No, but it sounds good, doesn't it?

Al:
Their only desire is for you to pamper them, and play with their...

Sam:
Al!

Al:
With their hair! Their hair!

Al:
We're making preparations for Tina's birthday party and she wants me to pop out of the cake. You'll never believe what she wants me not to wear.

[his life in the 70's]

Sam:
Great. I'm on the take, I wear polyester clothes and I live above a bar in an apartment decorated like a gym.

[about Al]

Sam:
The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of 5 has nothing to do with the rest of the world!

Sam:
What is she doing in Syracuse?

Al:
I bet a lot people ask themselves that question.

Sam:
Leaping about in time, I've found that there are some things in life that I can't change, and there are some things that I can. To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life's about}: making the right choice at the right time.

[about Al]

Sam:
At last, something sexual he's NOT into.

Al:
If we knew the unknown, the unknown wouldn't be unknown.

Al:
I went over to check out the cheerleaders. Oh, Sam. There was one little girl who had these pommelos, man.

Sam:
Pommelos are grapefruit.

Al:
Pommel - that's my point!

Al:
Oh, well, almost all animals can see me. But you know, there must be something weird lookin' about me, because I seem to intimidate them.

Sam:
Maybe it's your clothes.

Sam:
Say something to me in Spanish.

Al:
Uh, tu casa o mi casa.

Sam:
My place or yours - Al!

Al:
There are five stages of love. The first is denial, then the second is sex, then there's acceptance, then there's divorce... and then there's more sex, if you're lucky.

Sam:
Who wrote this textbook, you or Zsa Zsa?

Al:
Don't tell me, let me guess, you've been invited to a costume party and you're going as a baked potato.

Sam:
Do you have to sneak up on me?

Al:
I'm sorry. What do you expect a hologram to do? Knock?

the Devil (as Al):
What gives you the right to leap about time, putting right what I made wrong.

Sam:
I'm just trying to get home.

the Devil (as Al):
Well, you're not going to make it!

Sam:
Where the hell were you?

Al:
I was at the Laker game. It went into overtime.

Sam:
A ball game? I nearly died because you were at a ball game?

Al:
It wasn't just a ball game. It was a play-off game. At the party later, I met this dish named Martha.

Sam:
I guess I can thank God you didn't spend the night with this Martha.

Al:
Well, I did.

Al:
[singing, trying to remember the lyrics] All around the something... the monkey chased the weasel... the monkey did something... and something happened to the weasel.

Al:
Well, we been having some difficulty. Ziggy, he's, uh, going through mood swings. I think we need get a girl computer put it right next to him, one with a nice set of *hard* disks.

Sam:
You would.

[repeated line - seasons 3-5]

Narrator:
Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so, Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I felt Billy Jean's baby kick inside of me right there!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Gas!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You probably feel gas from eating this junk.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No, no, no, no. Dotty felt it too.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Oh, that'd be a neat trick, since Billy Jean's baby is inside Billy Jean forty years in the future!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
All I know is, Dotty had her hand on my stomach, and we both felt the baby kick.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Billy Jean] Al. Read my lips. Now, I'm pregnant.

[Billy Jean has accidentally discolored Leola's hair when working in the beauty parlor]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I'm sorry.

Dorothy 'Dotty' Louise Billings:
Oh, I'll fix it.

Leola:
You can't fix it! It's purple, for heaven's sake!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Looks kinda punk. [everyone is staring at him/her] It's gonna be very big in the '80s.

Leola:
Well, I don't know where Aidees is; but here in Oklahoma, we don't like lookin' like an electrified cotton candy!

Dorothy 'Dotty' Louise Billings:
That was a hell of a kick!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I... I felt that!

Dorothy 'Dotty' Louise Billings:
Well, of course you did. That little baby o' yours has a kick like a mule in heat.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Oh, boy!

Dorothy 'Dotty' Louise Billings:
You know what? I think so, too.

Dr. Rogers:
You know, little lady... having a baby is about as simple as it gets. Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time. And even if you may not know what to do about it, your body does.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I don't think so.

Dr. Rogers:
You'd be surprised.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
So would you.

[Sam and Al still haven't found out who the father of Billy Jean's baby is]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
There's gotta be somebody who can help me, Al!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, you tried your father, you tried... Dotty. There's... who? There's nobody else.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Nobody except the father of this baby. Only God knows where he is.

Effy:
[walking in] Willis is probably walking home from work about now.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Out of the mouths of babes.

Diane Frost:
[At the motel] Poor Baby. Did I work you over hard?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Gordon] I can take it!

Cashier:
Aww. Honeymooners.

Al:
There are five stages of love. The first is denial, then the second is sex, then there's acceptance, then there's divorce... and then there's more sex, if you're lucky.

Sam:
Who wrote this textbook, you or Zsa Zsa?

Cmdr. Dobbs:
How long were you on the cliff watching someone rape your wife...?

Cmdr. Riker:
Not just "someone". It was Ensign Calavicci.

Cmdr. Dobbs:
...before you tried to get to the beach?

Cmdr. Riker:
A minute. Maybe two.

Cmdr. Dobbs:
A minute or two?

[pauses and looks at his watch]

Pollack:
Sir, I object.

Cmdr. Dobbs:
I'm trying to demonstrate how long two minutes really is.

Judge:
I had a ship blown out from under me in the Leyte Gulf in less than two minutes, Commander. It can be a lifetime - or a blink of the eye. Now, get on with it.

Cmdr. Dobbs:
[to Riker] Did you do anything during this two minutes other than to watch?

Cmdr. Riker:
No, I believe I did not.

Cmdr. Dobbs:
You didn't yell?

Cmdr. Riker:
Yell?

Cmdr. Dobbs:
"Hey, stop that!"

Pollack:
I object. Defense Council is badgering the witness.

Cmdr. Dobbs:
The Commander requested clarification. I simply gave it to him.

Judge:
Objection overruled.

Cmdr. Dobbs:
Did you yell?

Cmdr. Riker:
No, sir.

Cmdr. Dobbs:
You watched a man rape your wife for a minute or two, and didn't even yell "Stop"?

Cmdr. Riker:
No, sir.

Cmdr. Dobbs:
For God's sake, Commander, why not?

Cmdr. Riker:
Because she *deserved* it.

Al:
We got deep trouble here, Sam. The odds of my getting convicted are 92% now and they're going up.

Sam:
Riker's testimony was devastating.

Al:
Well, un-devastate it.

Sam:
I think I will. I think I'll go find the killer.

Al:
Well, what are you doing here then?

Sam:
Standing trail under guard.

Al:
God, 95%. Now they're 95%!

Sam:
What does Bingo say about Saturday night?

Al:
Same thing I said, of course. Met Lisa a-at the Sea Breeze Hotel, a-and that was before Marci disappeared from the "O"-Club.

[looks at handlink]

Al:
Now there's a 96% chance I'm convicted. Ninety-seven - geez, ninety-eight! Ninety-nine!

Sam:
For God's sake, stop it!

Edward St. John V:
One hundred.

[Sam turns and sees a stranger standing in Al's place, holding the handlink]

Edward St. John V:
Yes, there is a 100% certainty that Ensign Calavicci will be found guilty and executed in the gas chamber.

Sam:
Oh, my God! I've changed history. I've killed Al.

Al:
[to Sam] Ain't that a kick in the butt? You leaped into me, as a kid.

Al:
I've been so preoccupied, er, with myself - no pun intended.

Lt. Lisa Sherman:
If they don't find Marci's killer, then I'll testify.

Sam:
What are you gonna tell 'em?

Lt. Lisa Sherman:
The truth. That Jack was T. D. Y. Saturday, and I spent the night with you.

Sam:
You're married?

Lt. Lisa Sherman:
Yes; so is my husband. But it hasn't stopped him from landing on every blonde from here to Norway.

Sam:
How's Tina?

Al:
Tina? This's no time to ask about my love life.

Sam:
I never thought I'd hear you say that.

[Stacker tells the boys how Al came to his nickname "Bingo"]

Stacker:
...He lands wheels-up in this pasture, right? Bangs his head on the gunsight. When he comes to, he looks up and he sees three sets of casabas hangin' over him. He thinks, "Oh, man, it's a concussion."

Plumber:
I wouldn't mind that concussion!

Stacker:
But it's not. It's triplets. We find him the next morning asleep under the wing. I say, "How'd you spend the night?" He says, "Bingo, bango, bongo!"

Al 'Bingo' Calavicci:
You're gonna put me into a nuclear accelerator chamber, and send my body back into time?

Al:
Right.

Al 'Bingo' Calavicci:
[snorts] Now, even if I believed you, would you do this if you were me?

Al:
I *am* you.

Sam:
Bingo, to quote you, you're in deep caca.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
How could Blake see you?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, Ziggy says it was just a weird fluke.

[Blake is demanding of Captain Downey and her Salvation Army that they move out of their mission, which is to be destroyed]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Pearson] Sir, maybe she could move into one of your properties, and all the other people could go...

Calloway:
Shut up, Pearson.

Michael G. Blake:
Shut up, Calloway.

Calloway:
Yes, sir.

Michael G. Blake:
It's not my job to save the world.

Salvation Army Captain Laura Downey:
God forbid. That'd mean you cared about people!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I am the Ghost of Christmas Future.

Salvation Army Captain Laura Downey:
More piernik, Mr Blake?

Michael G. Blake:
Um... Oh, no, I-I really couldn't.

Salvation Army Captain Laura Downey:
Oh, you don't like it.

Michael G. Blake:
No. I mean, yes, I do. It's delicious. Er... You know, my mother used to make this for me every Christmas.

Salvation Army Captain Laura Downey:
Well, I, I can't think of a nicer compliment.

Michael G. Blake:
[surprised] You made this?

Salvation Army Captain Laura Downey:
She sings *and* she cooks. It's amazing.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You know, Al, this ghost hunting equipment that Dr. Mintz has placed around the estate, it's not bad for '71. It's designed to pick up a wide spectrum of electrical activity, including brain waves. Get a load of this. It picked up my leap-in last night.

[about Al]

Sam:
At last, something sexual he's NOT into.

Ralph Beaumont:
Let me make it simple for you. Things are damn tough here in Clover Bend. But the folks, well, we're tough too. We can take just about anything the good Lord dishes out, so long as we look it square in the eye. You get my meaning?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Billy] So you don't want me raisin' false hopes with all this rain talk. Is that it?

Ralph Beaumont:
The drought's dried up a lot more than soil around here, Billy. It's dried up a lot of soul, most of 'em, and it ain't gonna take a whole lot of your hot air to blow us all away.

[Sam embodies Billy Beaumont, a self-professed maker of rain]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam, we can, we can change history, we can change people, but the weather, that's the leap of another color. I mean, that's... No, that's a horse of another kettle.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
The cutting edge of meteorology work is done at Defense and Agri-Tech...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
So?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
And those morons, they guard their computer secrets like a little virgin guards her, her... stamp collection.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Mom, I want you to throw this town the biggest picnic they've ever seen.

Grace Beaumont:
Picnic? Why?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Why? Why? Why, because it always rains on a picnic!

Grace Beaumont:
Ralph's a lot like the country around here. It'll give you sustenance, but it'll darn sure make you work for it.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Doesn't he know how rough that is on Ann?

Grace Beaumont:
I doubt he's ever thought much about it. He figures his life hadn't been easy, why should anyone else's?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Well, maybe because he loves her.

Grace Beaumont:
When did you get to be such an old softy? Yes, he does love her. Do you still?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
She's my brother's wife.

Grace Beaumont:
That doesn't quite answer my question, does it?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No, I don't love her. I just want them to be happy.

Grace Beaumont:
Well, you've made me happy. And, if you manage to make it rain, you'll make the town happy. But Ralph... that just might be a bigger miracle than the rain.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Now, Annie. I'm sure that Ralph is really a very wonderful man.

Annie Beaumont:
Billy. Springtime is wonderful. Sunsets are wonderful. Babies are wonderful. Ralph... is Ralph.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Ouch.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Have you ever looked at a beautiful building? And noticed the columns, and the... domes and windows, and, you know, stuff like that? And... you never looked at the foundation, did you? Not once. Never even thought about the foundation. But without the foundation, the whole building would topple down, and there wouldn't be any more domes or windows or columns or... Maybe you should think of Ralph like he was a foundation.

Annie Beaumont:
Okay.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Okay?

Annie Beaumont:
Okay. He's a pile of posts that are better off buried and you don't even notice until they rot. And then you either replace 'em, or you move on. Well, thanks, Billy. I never quite saw it that way.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[talking to the sky] Al. I don't know where the hell you are, but you better get your butt down here, and fast!

Vernon Coutis:
[turning round a corner] I'm glad you haven't lost your religion, boy. But you gonna have to brush up on your prayers some.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[to the villagers] In honor of this very special occasion, I'd like to pause for just a moment, if I might, and recognize my apprentice and my assistant, Clinton Levering. I'd like to ask Clinton, if he wouldn't mind, to prepare the cloud seeding solution for me today. Clinton?

Clinton Leveret:
[laughs] Doc...

[he takes Sam aside]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What?

Clinton Leveret:
What?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Come on, how many times you seen me do it?

Clinton Leveret:
Er, probably a hundred.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
So what's the problem?

Clinton Leveret:
[chuckles] Ye ain't never done it the same way twice.

[Sam has asked Clinton why he would still follow a quack like himself, i.e. Billy]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
If you want to follow somebody around your whole life, follow somebody that's good, somebody that's worthwhile.

Clinton Leveret:
Doc, y-you picked me up out of shantytown in East St. Louis. I'd never seen a sunrise. Or-or bathed in clean water. Or even had a full belly till I met you. You taught me how to walk tall. I think you're plenty worthwhile. Huh, besides, you know good and damn well I'm waitin' for someday.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Someday?

Clinton Leveret:
Yeah, someday, you know. You always tell me, "Clinton, someday this whole thing's gonna work, and the rain's gonna fall. And when it does, I'm gonna nail my boots to that patch of ground and turn this whole shootin' match over to you."

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You believe that?

Clinton Leveret:
Sure I do. I believe in you, Doc.

[Al is giving Sam instructions for mixing the cloud seeding solution]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
All right. Next, you add acetone.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
How much of this stuff?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Uh, I don't know. AH! When you put that in it gets very unstable.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll blow up.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Why do we even bother?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
'cause that's what we do. We're professional botherers.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[in some kind of prayer] I don't know who's running this show. I don't know why I was chosen. I bounce around from place to place. I do everything I'm supposed to do. At least the best way I can. But I don't know how to do this one. I mean, you gotta help me. I figure you owe me. For a couple of times anyway. You make it rain. You hear me? You make it rain!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Clint!

Clinton Leveret:
Yeah!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
"Someday" is here!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[Sam needs Ziggy to hack into weather information in the future to learn how to make it rain for a town in the middle of a drought in 1953] They've got they're own computer guarding the gate.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Cherie] A prophet named Gibran once said, "Hold your children with open arms, and they will always know they can come home to you."

Reverend Walters:
No. No. Too much has gone on between us. She'll never forgive me for loving her the only way I knew how. I'll miss her, Cherie. I'll miss that angelic face of hers. I'll miss it. I'll never hear her sing again.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I got Rachel and her kids to the hotel. I got Ellen and her kids to the house. They didn't bump into each other. I did what I was supposed to do. Now, why haven't I leaped?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, that's not what you were supposed to do.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
But that's what you said I was supposed to do!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No, that was just the first part.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Okay. Okay. What's the second part?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Mm, well, now Ziggy's saying there's a 75% chance that you're here because Marty's only supposed to have *one* wife.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Marty, sighing] Oh, boy!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
What's wrong?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What's wrong? Al, I'm a bigamist!

Receptionist:
Is there a Rachel Elroy here?

Rachel Elroy:
That's me.

Receptionist:
You have a phone call.

Ellen Elroy:
My last name is Elroy, too!

Rachel Elroy:
[jokingly] Really? Maybe we're related.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Closer than you think, honey.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Whoever said "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", never scorned two women.

Josh Elroy:
Hey, Dad, look what I got! We got Kleenex, shoehorns, shower caps. I got towels, two bars of soap, sewing kits and last, but certainly not least, two rolls of toilet paper!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Where'd you get all that stuff?

Josh Elroy:
I raided the maid's cart.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You can't steal from the maid!

Josh Elroy:
Why not? You taught me how to do it.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I was talking to the real Marty. I think I found a new idol.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Idol? Al. The guy's a bigamist!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I know. I know, but think about it. If I had tried that, I could've... I could've gone through ten wives instead of five!

Chuey Martinez:
[about winning the championship] I'll guarantee it.

Ruben de Guerra:
I only bet on sure things.

Chuey Martinez:
It's a sure thing.

Ruben de Guerra:
Losing is a sure thing.

Al:
I went over to check out the cheerleaders. Oh, Sam. There was one little girl who had these pommelos, man.

Sam:
Pommelos are grapefruit.

Al:
Pommel - that's my point!

Sam:
Say something to me in Spanish.

Al:
Uh, tu casa o mi casa.

Sam:
My place or yours - Al!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Knut speaking to Duck and Elisabeth] Look, I lost a brother in Vietnam, all right? So don't tell me I don't care!

[Teresa sees Sam and Al for who they really are]

Teresa:
[re Sam, then Al] That's not my Mommy, that's a man. So's the guy in the yucky shirt.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
This is my favorite shirt. This is cutting-edge stuff.

Teresa:
It's yucky.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You lay one hand on this kid, you slime bag, and I'll kill ya. I don't know how, but I'll kill ya.

[Teresa has run away when seeing Sam in the role of her mother]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Do you... do you think you could go and, and... talk to her again, uh, uh, please?

Susan Bruckner:
Mom, I'm eleven. I won't have my psych degree for another fifteen years.

Kevin Bruckner:
They don't give degrees to the hopelessly stupid.

[Al and Sam are discussing Kevin who has been challenged to make a move on a girl]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I'm not gonna tell a fifteen-year-old boy how to seduce a girl.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I don't see where you have any choice in this, Sam. The kid is-is-is- He's inexperienced.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
He's supposed to be inexperienced. He's fifteen!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I kno- I'll have you know, when I was fif...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of five has nothing to do with the rest of the world.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No, I'm not going to encourage a fifteen-year-old boy to have sexual intercourse.

Teresa:
[entering] What's sekelar undercourse?

Kevin Bruckner:
[to Sam] Are you okay, Mom?

Teresa:
He's not our Mommy.

Kevin Bruckner:
Have you ever considered taking her to a baby shrink?

Teresa:
I'm not a baby.

Kevin Bruckner:
Okay, a dwarf shrink.

Kevin Bruckner:
[about Magnum, P.I] The guy talks like he's been sucking helium, and he giggles like a girl.

Susan Bruckner:
The only thing that matters is that he's sensitive, and he understands the needs of a woman.

Kevin Bruckner:
And what makes you such an expert on a woman's needs, runt?

Susan Bruckner:
Knowledge by gender, jerk.

Kevin Bruckner:
Um... Sue. If you had a guy that... like, you know, he liked you... what would he have to do to, er... You know.

Susan Bruckner:
I'm eleven. I don't have to deal with that teenage mating ritual crap.

[Sam just left to go find Kevin, with Al staying behind]

Ox:
Man, with a mother like that I'd still be a virgin too.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You are still a virgin, pimple-puss. And you're gonna be a virgin for another six years.

[Kevin sees the two kidnappers on the ground that Sam - Kevin's mom - has single-handedly knocked out earlier]

Kevin Bruckner:
Mom! How?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Girl Scouts. Come on.

Kevin Bruckner:
Girl Scouts? Awesome.

[about Al]

Sam:
The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of 5 has nothing to do with the rest of the world!

[Sam is embodying Ray, a black medical student whose girlfriend, Susan, is white]

Mama Harper:
Raising your children is gonna be hard, no matter where you do it.

Susan Bond:
Why?

Mama Harper:
Because wherever you go, they won't fit in. They won't be black and they won't be white.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
They'll be human.

Mama Harper:
Of course they'll be human, child. I'm talking about race!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I know, but, maybe, if we teach our kids to say that they're human, instead of black or white or red or yellow, maybe race won't matter.

Mama Harper:
Huh. Not in my lifetime.

Susan Bond:
I love Ray, Mama Harper. And I don't wanna see him lose his chance to be someone great.

Mama Harper:
He can be great right here.

Susan Bond:
No, he can't. He can do good here, but he can't be great.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You know, um... sometimes... sometimes doing good is more important.

[Sam and Susan are working non-stop to help riot victims]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You OK?

Susan Bond:
No sleep, no food - I feel like a doctor. It's great!

Mama Harper:
Back in Mariposa, it was the white man's hatred. Now it's the Negroes angry about what's supposed to be. Seems no matter where we go, we can't get away from the hate.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Maybe it's not the place that makes the difference, but the people.

Mama Harper:
That's why you being a doctor here is so important. Show these kids in the street they can be somebody better.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Susan. You helped a lot of people today who appreciated it.

Susan Bond:
Did they, Ray? That's not what I saw in their eyes. I saw anger, and hatred. They tolerated me only because they were hurting and needed help.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
That's not true.

Susan Bond:
How would you know? You're one of them!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You're tired, or you wouldn't be talking like this.

Susan Bond:
Maybe that's when the truth comes out. I can't go through life fighting people who hate me for the color of my skin.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I think that's how everybody in Watts must feel tonight.

Susan Bond:
[of Lonnie] He doesn't wanna be stopped, Ray. He wants to die.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I think she's right, Sam, I think he wants to be a martyr.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Is that right, Lonnie? You want to be a martyr?

Lonnie Harper:
Me, a martyr? Oh, hell, man, Watts is full of martyrs. They don't need me to join 'em.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Then why?

Lonnie Harper:
I'm tired of talkin' about 'why'.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Tired or scared?

Lonnie Harper:
I ain't afraid o' nothing.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Except living.

[Sam is feeding Chopin, the seeing-eye dog]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Look at this. This dog eats better than I do.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
This dog works harder than you do.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[Speaking to Michelle] Sometimes I feel like a scientist in the middle of an experiment that nobody else believes in. But then, you just have to tell yourself that you're the only person you can listen to, that you have to forget about the others.

Victor Drake:
[to Sam in the role of Lord Corrington] I must say, I was quite surprised when you responded favorably to my letter requesting the privilege of joining you on the night of the Blood Moon. Your name, sir, is legendary among the followers.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[narrating] Leaping in and out of new situations has taught me to be prepared for the unusual. But I suddenly had the feeling I had left 'unusual' and landed smack-dab in the middle of 'bizarre'.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You should see this guy Corrington, Sam. He's, he's a first-class flesh eater. He's got all the classic signs. He's got the pale complexion, the beady eyes, the lustful stare.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al? You just described yourself.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[reading from a book on vampires] "Vampires are not merely blood seekers..."

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Oh, no.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
"They are sexually obsessed, and many of them possess insatiable carnal urges beyond the grave." Now, what does that tell you?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
It tells me that vampires and holograms have a lot in common.

Victor Drake:
May I propose a toast? To stab the hearts of mortal men, they spill their blood like rain. And to the night we offer ours, to demons without shame. To the Blood Moon.

Claudia:
The Blood Moon.

Lady Alexandra Corrington:
The Blood Moon.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
...To the m-moon.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What do you want?

Victor Drake:
Isn't it obvious? I want your soul. More directly, your blood.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You can't be serious.

Victor Drake:
I'm more than serious. I'm compelled.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
But that's murder.

Victor Drake:
Nonsense! The soul can never die. It can only be... reinvented.

Victor Drake:
I envy you. Soon you'll know the secrets beyond the grave.

Victor Drake:
It's just as it was in the beginning, when Bathory ruled the night. I've awaited this moment my entire life, to bridge the gap between the living and the dead, to fly with fallen angels and to soar into the night. And you - oh, you shall be my wings.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[narrating] Sometimes, my swiss-cheesed memory can play funny tricks on me. I knew from the sound that engine was making that the camshaft had a flat lobe, but I had no idea where the camshaft was or how to remove it. I felt like a newborn calf walking around its mother knowing that there's milk there, somewhere.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al. Al! What year is it?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
1961.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Great. The tail end of the most immature period in history. All the guys still drink malts, drive hot rods and wear butch wax in their hair. And the girls all have pillow fights, chat on the phone, blind dates and get their panties raided.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Ah, those were the good old days.

Janie Wilson:
Excuse me. What is this?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
An old Playboy magazine.

Janie Wilson:
Old? Miss May looks pretty fresh to me.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Leaping about in time, I've suffered some humiliation and abuse. But I can't recall anything as horrible as being forced to sit at the children's table.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Look what I picked up this morning.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
The girl or the car?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Both. I met her at the car auction. She offered to wax my hood.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Well, she looks like she does good work.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You gonna be all right?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[quoting loosely from "Man of La Mancha"] What matter wounds to the body of knight-errants? For each time he falls, he shall rise again and woe to the wicked! Al...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Here, Your Grace.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
My armor, my sword.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
More misadventures?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Adventures, old friend.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[Speaking to Al] I can't have a life. All I do is live someone else's life. Right their wrongs, fight their fights. Geez, I feel like I'm Don Quixote!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I love the theater! The roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I think that's the other way around.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Mmm? Oh, you- you never did summer stock.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
*You* were an actor?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Don't say it like it was a disease. Acting is the world's second-oldest profession. Maybe the first. Yeah, prostitution could be considered kind of a performance.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[reminiscing about musicals] Oh, Oklahoma! That's how come he was hummin'...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[sings] "Chicks and dogs and pigs better scurry..."

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Ducks.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
"When I..." Ducks?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
It's ducks and geese, not... pigs and dogs.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Ducks?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Are you sure it's... it's not pigs and dogs? They scurry too.

Sam:
I can't have a life. All I do is live someone else's life. I right their wrongs, I fight their fights - geez, I feel like I'm Don Quixote.

Al:
Women - you can't trust 'em. They don't understand the double standard.

Sam:
What is she doing in Syracuse?

Al:
I bet a lot people ask themselves that question.

[Sam touches Connie and she transforms into another woman]

Alia:
Who *are* you?

Sam:
Who are *you*?

[Sam and Alia look in a mirror where they see Jimmy and Connie's reflections]

Alia:
How can this be happening?

Sam:
This is incredible!

Alia:
You mean that the whole time, that you've been...

Sam:
Who are you? I mean, what's your name?

Alia:
Alia.

Sam:
Alia... I'm Sam. Sam Beckett.

Alia:
Sam Beckett.

Sam:
Where are you from? I mean, where did you come from?

Alia:
The future.

[Alia's hologram, Zoey, comes through an imaging chamber door and sees Sam]

Zoey:
Well, well, well, well... Where did this studly morsel come from?

Alia:
Not now.

Sam:
Not now? I just what to know where you're from.

Zoey:
She's talking to me, sweet cheeks.

[to Alia]

Zoey:
I don't mind a little afternoon's delight, as long as you don't forget your assignment. Where's Jimmy?

Alia:
He's Jimmy. He used to be.

Sam:
Excuse me. Excuse me for a second. Are you talking to a hologram? You're talking to a hologram, aren't you? You're a time-traveler too!

Zoey:
"Too"? What does he mean "too"?

Alia:
Why haven't I leaped. Why am I still here?

Zoey:
Lothos has decided you've got one more thing to do before you go. A little bonus.

Alia:
What kind of bonus?

Zoey:
Seems you're to kill the good Dr. Beckett.

Sam:
You're not evil, Alia. Whatever trapped you in time is.

[Alia his holding Sam at gunpoint]

Al:
You gotta stop her, because she's gonna destroy you and Jimmy and the whole family.

Sam:
Where do you come from?

Alia:
What difference does it make? You lost and I won.

Sam:
So you're gonna shoot me?

Alia:
You're not the first person I've killed, Sam.

Zoey:
Get on with it.

Sam:
Why are you doing this?

Al:
Because she's evil.

Sam:
Evil?

Zoey:
Now, there's a novel concept.

Al:
Sam, she's your counterpart. You're good and she's evil. That's what she does.

Sam:
No, I don't believe that there's some force leaping her around, ruining people's live for the pleasure of it.

Zoey:
How deliciously na?ve.

Alia:
Then you're a fool.

[repeated line]

Teresa:
If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.

[Sam has leapt into Dr. Ruth, right in the middle of her Frank Talk About Sex radio show]

Caller:
I have a problem most people would envy.

Sam:
Uh, yes, w-what is your problem?

Caller:
Well, I get orgasms that are so incredible and overwhelming that I end up pushing my husband out of bed. The last time, he got all bruised and scraped. Is there any answer for me?

Sam:
[pause] Knee pads?

Al:
Sam. Sex is not dirty. It's a very natural thing. Being frank about it, and educating your children to be morally responsible and safe, er, is better than sweeping it under the rug.

Sam:
That's a pretty mature attitude, coming from somebody like you.

Al:
No, it's not coming from me. That's coming from the real Dr. Ruth in the Waiting Room.

Dr. Ruth:
I'm sorry to say, I'm very disappointed in you, Al.

Al:
You're disappointed in me?

Dr. Ruth:
You say this is the future. I thought by now, people like you would have a healthier attitude towards sex.

Al:
I have a very healthy attitude towards sex.

Dr. Ruth:
I think you have a problem.

Al:
With all due respect, Dr. Ruth, when it comes to women, Al Calavicci doesn't have any problems.

Dr. Ruth:
I think you are afraid of something.

Al:
You're right: alimony.

Al:
Tina's crazy about me.

Dr. Ruth:
And you are crazy about her, aren't you?

Al:
Well, no, I... I wouldn't say that. I'd say I, I like her.

Dr. Ruth:
You just *like* her?

Al:
I like her a lot. A lot.

Dr. Ruth:
Does that mean, you love her?

Al:
Uh...

Dr. Ruth:
It may have four letters, but 'love' is not a dirty word.

Al:
Ziggy says there's a 72% chance that you're here to play with matches.

Al, Sam:
What?

[Al strikes the handlink hard]

Al:
Stinking thing... Play with... Oh, mat-ma... oh, matchmaker. Play matchmaker.

[Sam is recording promos for Dr. Ruth's radio show]

Sam:
[very uncomfortably] This is Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Tomorrow on Frank Talk About Sex, we're going to discuss some common male sexual dysfunctions like premat-ture... premature... Well, we're gonna discuss a lot of things that I'm sure will be very stimulating. U-uplifting. Interesting! And that'll be tomorrow, right here, on my show.

Dr. Ruth:
Tell me about your girlfriend.

Al:
W-well, uh, her name is Tina.

Dr. Ruth:
M-hm. So tell me more.

Al:
More about Tina?

Dr. Ruth:
M-hm.

Al:
Ah. Well, um... Oh, well. She's got... great... casabas.

Dr. Ruth:
What are these casabas?

Al:
Well, you know. Melons.

Dr. Ruth:
Hmm?

Al:
Hoo-has? Honkers? Hooters? Headlights? Uh... tatas? Teeters? Tweeters? Tom-toms? Tetons?

Dr. Ruth:
Say it.

Al:
I'm trying to say it. Uh, meatballs. Mangoes. Cream pies. Cupcakes? Uh... bangers? Bouncers? Bulumbas?

Dr. Ruth:
Al.

Al:
Bazongas? Breasts! I said it.

Dr. Ruth:
You see? It wasn't that hard.

Al:
[to Sam] Ziggy says you're here to help Doug and Debbie. Unless you do something about that, you're gonna stay stuck in 1985, wearing your silly high heels and your stupid dresses, and talking to strangers about G-spots.

Debbie Schaefer:
...Three days later you said you had the jitters. You stopped performing, remember?

Al:
Oh, this sounds juicy.

Doug Bridges:
What exactly do you mean by "performing"?

Debbie Schaefer:
Do I have to spell it out for you? The cork on the champagne bottle wouldn't pop.

Doug Bridges:
Uh-huh.

Debbie Schaefer:
The thrusters weren't thrusting.

Doug Bridges:
Oh, really?

Debbie Schaefer:
There was no lift-off!

Sam:
Could we change the subject, please?

Doug Bridges:
No, please, let her go ahead. I think there's a couple in the next room who didn't hear about my thrusters!

Al:
Not so good, Sam.

Sam:
What am I supposed to do?

Doug Bridges:
Get her a bullhorn. She can announce it from the Chrysler Building: "Doug's rocket didn't launch!"

Annie Wilkins:
Why would someone as famous as you care about someone like me?

Sam:
How do you think I got to be so famous? Besides, helping people's what I do for a living.

[last lines]

[Al has told Dr. Ruth about his first wife Beth]

Dr. Ruth:
Did you love this Beth more than you love Tina?

Al:
Yes. But it was different.

Dr. Ruth:
So you love Tina different than Beth, but you still love her?

Al:
Yes.

Dr. Ruth:
Did you hear what you just said?

Al:
I said, I love Tina different... I s- I said it!

Dr. Ruth:
Maybe I tricked you into it, but you said it. Now say it again, and drop the "different" part. That's a given.

Al:
I love Tina.

Dr. Ruth:
Now go tell her.

Al:
Okay. Gee, thanks, Doc. [he leaves]

Dr. Ruth:
Next!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What if Jack, when he leaped out, left a piece of himself in here; and that piece knows why Peter is gonna kill him.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[incredulously] A piece of Jack?

[Sam has leaped into Jack Stone, a man with a traumatic past]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I feel like I'm... possessed, Al.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Possessed?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Great. Now it's The Exorcist.

[Sam has asked Al to check out everything about Jack Stone]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What're you waiting for? Get going.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I'm waiting to see if your head's gonna spin around.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[narrating] In all my years of leaping, I can't remember feeling so unprepared for what was ahead of me. And yet seeing those two kids and finding their mother, I felt this rage inside me like someone or something else was making me go forward, and all I could hope for was that whatever was driving me would let me know what to do with a cold-blooded killer.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[about the dead Janice DeCaro] I can't shake her image. When I eat, when I sleep, I can't have a conversation without flashing on it.

Pamela Roselli:
What are you doing? You have been a cop long enough to have seen a lot worse than Janice DeCaro.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No. You see, actually, I haven't.

Pamela Roselli:
Sometimes the hardest thing about being a cop is knowing when to walk away.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Sometimes you can't walk away.

Dr. Mason Crane:
What is it you want, Mr. Stone?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I wanna sleep. Again. I-I-I've been having these dreams. They're very frightening to me, and... I want 'em to stop. They have to stop, Dr. Crane. They have to.

Dr. Mason Crane:
Part of what you're saying to me is a lie, Mr. Stone, and part of it is painfully true. Be here tomorrow at four o'clock. And please, Mr. Stone, don't lie to me again. I don't like lies, and I always know.

Dr. Mason Crane:
When you give an idea away, or a thought, or even a kiss, you can never take it back. But the heart is always yours to give, and yours to take.

Dr. Mason Crane:
[referring to Janice DeCaro] I told her that I loved her and that I had to have her heart. But you see, that was her problem. She couldn't give her heart. So I took it. It was the only way that I could really help her.

[Sam sees his reflection in the mirror]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Oh boy. I'm an Indian!

Joseph Washakie:
Could be worse. You could be a white man, eh?

Joseph Washakie:
[dying] Do you like the Redskins?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[crying] Best damn team in America.

Joseph Washakie:
When I was in World War I, only the officers had ponies. I could never get over how naked they looked without their markings. How could you tell what they had done? How could you frighten your enemies?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam, this is just terrific. It's like the past come to life. You know, he just... he painted the hoof prints on there, and that's to show how many horse raids they went on, or how many horses they stole.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I thought we just borrowed them.

Joseph Washakie:
The horses don't know that, eh?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[to Al, about the hand prints Joseph has put on his horse] What are the hand prints for?

Joseph Washakie:
For men killed in battle.

Joseph Washakie:
[offering Sam the rock with paint on it] Go on.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Uh, well, I, er...

Joseph Washakie:
Go on, Togo. I can see it in your eyes.

Joseph Washakie:
Death is a doorway, and we are like the grasshopper. When we die, we shed one skin, and put on another, and leap to a new life on the other side of the door.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What if there's nothing beyond the door?

Joseph Washakie:
Then I would fight to hang on to this skin as hard as I could, because it would be all I had. But it's not. All of life is a series of leaps, for us grasshoppers, eh?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I guess you could say so...

Joseph Washakie:
Sometimes we see where we are going, sometimes we don't. Have you ever leaped, and not at least survived?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No.

Joseph Washakie:
The next time you leap, remember that.

[the Sheriff comes in to discover one of his prisoners has vanished during the night]

Sheriff Taggart:
Where is George?

Joseph Washakie:
Gone.

Sheriff Taggart:
How?

Joseph Washakie:
I turned him into a raven. He flew away.

Sheriff Taggart:
Why didn't you go with him?

Joseph Washakie:
I can only turn into a wolf. I'm too big for the bars.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as George Washakie] But there's so much I don't know, that I can learn from you, that, that others can learn too!

Joseph Washakie:
There's only one thing you have to learn: that freedom is the greatest gift we're born with, and the hardest thing to hold on to.

[first lines]

Sheriff Taggart:
[punching Sam] Lesson number one: it never pays to get smart with me!

Joseph Washakie:
Lesson number two: don't mess with Indians.

[after Sam has knocked out the Sheriff]

Joseph Washakie:
Damn white men. Can't make anything but more white men.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I think I should take you back and put you in the nursing home, so you can be with your family and your friends.

Joseph Washakie:
What family? There's only you and Suzanne. And you moved away.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What about your friends?

Joseph Washakie:
My friends are here. The sun. The sky. The wind. And the earth.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
The shape you're in, your friends could kill you.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Kenu, I'll take you to the reservation. But when we get there, you've got to see a doctor.

Joseph Washakie:
Okay. But I don't know if I can help him.

[Sam is heading back to hold off the Sheriff]

Joseph Washakie:
George. Are you going to scalp him?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No.

Joseph Washakie:
Oh. Too bad.

Joseph Washakie:
Did you scalp him?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No. I gave him a haircut instead.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[referring to Moe] We don't know that this guy is crazy. Right? I mean, look at me. I'm standing here, I'm dressed like a giant TV dinner talking to a hologram! Now, what does that make me?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Eccentric.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[on Sam's 'Future Boy' costume] Don't tell me, let me guess: you've been invited to a costume party, and you're going as a baked potato.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What, what happened?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Huh? What d'you mean?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Did somebody die?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Did somebody d... Oh, oh, you mean my suit. Oh. No. No. I have to make a court appearance. My third wife is suing me... No. Fourth? Fifth? My fourth wife is suing me for more alimony payments, and the lawyer says it'd be better if I appeared a little...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Grown up.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[sarcastic] No, boring.

[Sam and Al are debating whether Moe is crazy or not]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
He's 65 years old. I mean, who in his right mind is gonna start riding the rails when he's 65?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You would - if there were a cute girl on board.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Oh, uh, yeah, well, I would.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You can't change a leopard's spots, Sam.

Ben Harris:
Has the whole world gone crazy? Just because the Russians put a satellite in space doesn't mean you two get to go into orbit too!

Moe Stein:
I just don't want these kids growing up thinking that the future holds nothing but violence.

Ben Harris:
Don't be ridiculous. Kids love violence!

Moe Stein:
Because we tell them to love it. We should be teaching them to dream. To see the future for its possibilities, not its limitations. And you write me a script like that, and I will shout it from the rooftops!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I do admit that Mr. Stein did try to build a time machine. But if you had sat there twelve years ago, and told me that the Russians would be the first ones to orbit a satellite around the Earth, I would've called you crazy. But two days ago, they did it. So, who's to say that... twelve years from now, say 1969, maybe men will be walking on the moon, or maybe Moe Stein will be traveling in time. Your Honor. Moe Stein is a dreamer. Are we going to punish people for that? Because if we are... you're gonna need a much bigger room than this.

Moe Stein:
[on his theory of time travel] Time is like a piece of string. One end of the string is birth, the other is death. You put them together, and your life is a loop.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam, that's your theory!

Moe Stein:
If I can travel fast enough along the loop, I will eventually end up back at the beginning of my life.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
He-he's almost got it.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Uh, well, what... Let me ask you, what would happen if, um, you would ball the string, right? And then each day of your life... would touch another day. And then... you could travel from one place on the string to another, thus enabling you to move back and forth within your own lifetime, maybe.

Moe Stein:
That's it. That's it! Then I could actually...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Quantum leap?

Moe Stein:
Quantum leap. I like that. I like that a lot.

[last lines]

Moe Stein:
Today's letter is from little Sam Beckett in Elk Ridge, Indiana. Sam writes: "Dear Captain Galaxy. Could you please explain your theory of time travel to us?" Well, Sam. Our lifetimes are like a piece of string. But... if you roll the string up into a ball, all the days of your life...

Al:
Don't tell me, let me guess, you've been invited to a costume party and you're going as a baked potato.

[At Sam and Al's first meeting]

Sam:
Who are you?

Al:
My name is Albert... Albert what, I can't tell you because it's restricted. Most of what you'll want to know is restricted, so it would be a lot easier if you don't ask a lot of questions.

Sam:
What are you?

Al:
That's a question, Sam.

Al Calavicci:
You're part of a time-travel experiment that went a little... ka ka.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
A little ka ka? HOW ka ka?

Al Calavicci:
Well, you're here! That's great! Nobel Prize material. You should be proud.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
And...?

Al Calavicci:
[hesitating] And... we're experiencing technical difficulties in retrieving you.

Gushie:
[Al and a stranded motorist are in Al's car, driving towards the Project; Al sees the Accelerator lights glowing in the sky, and calls the Project] Control!

Al:
What's happening, Gushie?

Gushie:
He's Leaping! Ziggy said no, but Sam's Leaping!

Al:
He can't Leap, we're not ready!

Gushie:
Tell Sam that!

Al:
Put him on!

Gushie:
I can't! He's in the Accelerator! Al, Al, what do I do?

Al:
Nothing! Any interference could kill him! I'll be there in two minutes!

[to woman]

Al:
Hang on, beautiful!

[Hits the gas]

[Sam has just made the first Quantum Leap]

Sam:
We did it!... Did what?

[Al is helping a stranded motorist]

Al:
I would love to fix that flat for you. But I can't!

Woman:
Let me guess: It's your only tux, and you're late for your wedding.

Al:
How could I be late? We just met!

Al:
You're part of a time travel experiment that went a little... ka-ka.

Sam:
It all started when a time travel experiment I was conducting went... a little ka-ka. In the blink of a cosmic clock I went from quantum physicist to air force test pilot. Which could have been fun... if I knew how to fly. Fortunately, I had help. An observer from the project named Al. Unfortunately, Al's a hologram, so all he can lend is moral support. Anyway, here I am. Bouncing around in time, putting things right which once went wrong. A sort of time traveling Lone Ranger, with Al as my Tonto. And I don't even need a mask. Oh boy.

Sam:
Who created this Ziggy?

Al:
You. Quantum Leap is your baby. You're the genius behind it. At least you were before your brain got magnafoogled.

Sam:
No, no, see, I'm a medical doctor. I found that much out.

Al:
You hold six doctorates, Sam. Medicine is just one. Your special gift was quantum physics. Time magazine even called you the next Einstein. The truth is, if there's one guy who could figure how to bring you back... its you.

Sam:
And I can't even remember my name!

Al:
[Pausing, and deciding to break Sam's own rule, even though Al knows Sam will use the information to contact his father] Beckett. Sam Beckett

[Al has suddenly materialized]

Sam:
Can't you just fade in, or something?

Al:
If you can tell me how to fade in agitated carbon quarks, then I'll make the scientific journal!

[On why they could not retrieve Sam from the past]

Sam:
Ziggy's theory is really - it's a load of crap. You have to believe that God or time or something was just waiting for your quantum leap to correct a mistake.

Sam:
A mistake in time?

Al:
Something that happened in the life of Cpt. Tom Stratton in '56 since he's the one you bounce out. Once that's put right, you'll snap back like a pimp's suspenders.

Sam:
Once what's put right?

Al:
Tom Stratton was killed trying to break Mach 3 in the X-2. If Ziggy's right, all you have to do is break Mach 3 and live.

[Sam walks away]

[Al has just told Sam that he has to fly an experimental aircraft in order to leap]

Sam:
There's got to be another way.

Al:
The next one's only got a 52% chance of working.

Sam:
I'll take it!

Al:
It requires you to be at ground zero during an atomic detonation. [Sam frowns] You asked.

Sam:
What else have you got?

Al:
This isn't a shopping list, you know. [consults handlink] The odds drop into the low teens after that. Your best shot is freezing the brain until all electrical activity has ceased.

Sam:
That's called *death*.

Al:
I never said it would be easy. You want a sure thing? I got it for you. You don't do anything, you just live. Barring accidental death or a fatal disease, you'll be back in forty years. That's your safest option.

Sam:
And Tom Stratton?

Al:
He'll go on living forward from where he's at now. Technically, he could end up the oldest man alive.

Sam:
Well, what about Peg and Mikey? I don't want to hurt them, but I can't go on pretending I'm Tom.

Al:
Hey, they were going to lose him on Monday anyway. Of course, if you bust Mach 3 and survive, they could have him around for another thirty or forty years.

Sam:
I can't fly!

Al:
I'll be your co-pilot.

Sam:
You're a hologram.

Al:
I'm also an ex-astronaut. The hardest part about flying is taking off and landing. The B-50 does the first part of that for you. After that, you just fire a couple of rockets, hang onto the stick and ka-za-zoom! Mach 3.

Sam:
And the second part?

Al:
Landing? [shakes head] You could *never* land the X-2, not even with my help. So, you don't.

Sam:
I eject.

Al:
[nods] X-2 does a crash and burn. You float back to earth on a pillow silk. The moment you touch down, you leap forward, Tom leaps back and the broad and I are gone to Las Vegas!

Sam:
It could work.

Al:
Of course it will work.

Sam:
A minute ago, you said it was crap.

Al:
That was before I thought it out.

Sam:
Where the hell were you?

Al:
I was at the Laker game. It went into overtime.

Sam:
A ball game? I nearly died because you were at a ball game?

Al:
It wasn't just a ball game. It was a play-off game. At the party later, I met this dish named Martha.

Sam:
I guess I can thank God you didn't spend the night with this Martha.

Al:
Well, I did.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I can fly!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You can dial.

[about the Bermuda Triangle]

Sam:
You're not gonna tell men that you believe all the myths, are you?

Al:
Sam, a lot of freaky things have happened out here. There are ships that disappear, planes vanish, even on clear days like this one.

Sam:
Disasters at sea are not that uncommon, even on clear days like this one.

Al:
There's theories that say that it's either electromagnetic vortices or else it's...

Sam:
Or sea monsters.

Al:
How did you know?

Sam:
Right, I remember.

Al:
Giant prehistoric lizard fish have been seen my sailors in the Ber - [Sam starts laughing] What's so funny? What are you laughing about?

Sam:
I'm just joking, okay.

Al:
This is no joke, Sam. If I wasn't a hologram, I wouldn't be caught dead out here.

[about the time he crashed in the Bermuda Triangle]

Capt. Cooper:
I wasn't in the water those eight days in '44. I was picked up by the USS Cyclops the day I went in. Seven days later, she was torpedoed. Went down with everyone but me. A freighter, the Michael Z picked me up the next day. Now twice in eight days, I was the only survivor.

Sam:
Well, that is quite a coincidence.

Capt. Cooper:
Yeah, I guess so.

Al:
[consulting the handlink] Sam, the USS Cyclops disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle in 1918, twenty-six years before Cooper was picked up.

Chase:
[interviewing] Tonic, what were you thinking, when you wrote: "As I travel in space and time, I want to stay, I want to go. You can see my face, but it's not mine. What you can't see, you'll never know." What can't we see?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Tonic, after Flash makes a joke] Well, um... I guess what I, what I really was, uh, meaning, er, to say was, uh, that, um, we all... live our lives behind masks. But the real point of living is to get beyond, to break through those masks, from the outside and from the inside, so that we can really communicate. Un, unfortunately, most of us don't.

Flash McGrath:
We have more money than Croesus, ha-ha! We're gonna make The Beatles look like ants, huh-huh, yeah. Aren't we? He-he.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I don't remember.

Flash McGrath:
Huh?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I m-, I mean, uh, that's what people're gonna be saying, about The Beatles: "I don't remember them", you know, when we get really big. I mean, The Beatles, they're like an insect infestation!

[laughter]

Flash McGrath:
Yeah! And we're the bloody exterminators!

[Al is giving Sam pointers on how to act as a rock star]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Do Townshend.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Who?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
That's right.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What is?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Who.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I don't know.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Townshend!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Who?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Yeah, that's right. Pete Townshend of The Who!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Of the what?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Agh, never mind.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
If it really gets desperate and they start charging up on stage, and they're gonna rip your clothes off, you stick your tongue out as far as you can and you wiggle it... [shows Sam how] Like that.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Sticking my tongue out is gonna make them stop from ripping my clothes off?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No, no, that'll make them start ripping their clothes off. Then you can take the guitar and you can smash it to pieces. That always gets 'em!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al, with my luck, they're gonna want an encore, and I'm not gonna have a guitar...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Don't worry, Sam, just go out there and cut loose. I'm gonna be with you the whole time.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Oh, that, that's very comforting...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Look, if worse comes to worse... do Milli Vanilli.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Who?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
That's what I suggested at first!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Things do happen after concerts.

[after Philip has told Sam that he - i.e. Tonic - is his father]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I told you! The lead is Flash! He's the killer, and he doesn't wanna kill you about his songs, he wants to kill you because of that girl, that Sandy!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al, you've been certain about three different people!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Yeah, but this time I'm REALLY certain! And now you don't have to know who to look for, because it's definitely HIM! Or... Dwayne. Or, or... Philip.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You done?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Definitely.

[making up a radio news piece]

Sam:
Flash! President Eisenhower in a surprise move resigned from office this morning in order to join a Buddhist monastery. Said Ike 'I just like being around guys with less hair than me.'

Sam:
There was a poem in high school I think that I never forgot... Until now. I think it ended with, "And everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned, the best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity." I guess I just think it's time for the best to show a little passionate intensity.

Sam:
Who was she, Al? Who was she? What songs did she like to sing? Who did she dream about at night?

Al:
William Holden.

Sam:
What?

Al:
William Holden. It's 1957, she's a teenager, she had to have a crush on either William Holden or James Dean. Knowing her background, my money's on Bill. I'll bet "Picnic" is the first movie she saw when she came to the United States.

Al:
She could have shot herself.

Sam:
Where's the gun?

Al:
Maybe it fell into the lake.

Sam:
No, I don't think so.

Al:
Why not?

Sam:
If Hilla committed suicide, I wouldn't be here. The only thing that makes sense is that I'm here to find out who murdered her.

[after hearing Al's theory that Hilla had a crush on William Holden, Sam finds a poster for "Picnic" in her room]

Sam:
You would've made a great Dr. Watson, Al.

Al:
If the chief finds the gun in the lake...

Sam:
He won't. And even if he does, it just means that the killer threw the gun in the water.

Al:
Boy, you won't give up, will you?

Sam:
Not when I feel I'm right.

Al:
All right, say you're right. We find the gun, even find someone to trace it to. What does that prove? You have no bullet to match it to.

[Sam is watching Hilla's home movies]

Al:
I've had a lot of fixations on women, but this...

Sam:
It's not one of your cheap flings.

Al:
Whatever. This is an obsession.

Sam:
Look at her, Al. She's so young and beautiful and full of life. Is that a girl who could kill herself?

Al:
This is 1957, Sam. An unmarried girl that go pregnant was an outcast. Sometimes, they'd end the pregnancy; sometimes, they'd even end their own lives.

Sam:
Maybe Greg helped her do both.

Al:
You really think he killed her?

Sam:
Hilla tried to break up with Greg on the fourth. She said they fought all night. She broke with him, Al, but it was too late, she was pregnant. He's got to be the killer.

Al:
But you've got no proof.

Sam:
I've got feelings.

Al:
Feelings? That's a song. You've got no evidence. You've got no weapon, you've got no bullet, you've got nothing!

Sam:
I've got her.

Al:
You've got shadow and light flickering on the wall, that's not Hilla. What you're seeing is in your imagination.

Sam:
She's trying to tell me something, Al. I don't know that it is, but she's trying to tell me something.

Greg:
I was going to marry her. We were going to elope the night she died.

Roger:
I don't believe it.

Sam:
Neither do I. Hilla broke it off with you.

Greg:
No, she didn't.

Sam:
On the 4th of July, she told you she loved someone else. You fought and she ended it between you.

Greg:
Who told you that?

Sam:
Hilla... in her diary.

Greg:
No, it wasn't me, not that weekend. I was at a tournament in Boston.

Lyle:
That's right. The kid won. Brought back a real big trophy.

Greg:
Whoever she broke it off with, it wasn't me. We just started dating each other around that time.

Lyle:
What do you want me to do, Melvin, arrest Mr. Truesdale for trying to get Hilla an abortion?

Sam:
No, I want you to arrest him for murder.

Lyle:
I can't do that.

Sam:
Why? Because he bought you that badge?

Lyle:
Nobody owns me, Melvin. Except maybe my wife.

Sam:
Why won't you arrest him?

Lyle:
Because, even if what you're saying it true, which I don't believe for a second it is, the D.A. will never prosecute. All you've got is a possible motive. You've got no weapon, not bullet, no witness. Hell, it'll never get past the grand jury. She committed suicide, Melvin. Now, put the poor girl in the ground... before she puts you there, too.

[after learning that Hilla had had an intimate relationship with her friend, Stephanie]

Greg:
Some of the things that Hillie tried to tell me make sense now. All that time she spent growing up in the displaced person camps after the war... she had to fight off men all the time, I even think she was raped. She said it was so bad that the only people she could let get close to her were women... and even *that* got confusing.

[at Hilla's grave]

Sam:
I found this book of Mark Twain in her room, I think it was her favorite. Twain wrote this when his daughter died: "Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear heart, good night, good night."

[repeated line]

Hilla:
[v.o] That's what's missing from my life: someone to love.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[narrating] Some quantum leaps are like nightmares - getting pummeled in a boxing ring, working on a chain gang... So if you'd told me I'd find myself chauffeuring Marilyn Monroe around Hollywood in a big V8 convertible, I'd say I'd died and gone to heaven.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al? You think I was crazy if I told you that...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
If you told me what?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Never mind.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I'd say welcome to the human race, Sam. Every man that ever met her fell in love with her. Just... take good care of her and don't let her die. Nobody that beautiful should ever die.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[carrying Barbara's luggage to her room] Um... where's the rest?

Barbara Whitmore:
That's it.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What do you mean, "That's it"? Two suitcases and a cardboard box is your whole life?

Barbara Whitmore:
My whole life is Marilyn.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Dennis] Look, I'm surprised you're gettin' away with this.

Marilyn Monroe:
With what?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
With, with bein' out in the public, you know, without bein' spotted.

Marilyn Monroe:
Only Marilyn Monroe gets spotted. Today I'm Norma Jean Baker.

[Sam has declined Marilyn's invitation to join her in the swimming pool]

Marilyn Monroe:
I never thought I'd see the day a man turns me down for a skinny-dip. I must be losing it.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I hate towels.

[after Marilyn has got out of the pool, covered only by her towel]

Marilyn Monroe:
Poor James Dean. Sometimes I think I'll go like him: young and fast.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
How you feelin' today anyway?

Marilyn Monroe:
Who, me?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah.

Marilyn Monroe:
Just wonderful. It's a beautiful day, a new house, champagne... Who needs a life?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Look, I-I'm not trying to be a writer. I'm just... I'm just trying to tell you that... your life can be so wonderful, if you let it. You've gotta hang on to it with everything you've got.

Marilyn Monroe:
What's gotten into you?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
People adore you.

Marilyn Monroe:
"Adore". That's great if you're some kind of a stone statue.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No. No. Look, that's not what I meant. People really care about you. You're one of the most loved people in the world. Ever.

Marilyn Monroe:
Then why can't I feel it?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
The public is crying for a new Marilyn Monroe movie.

Marilyn Monroe:
After my last picture, they're just plain crying.

Marilyn Monroe:
I read somewhere, in Africa, or Asia, that when someone saves your life, they're responsible for you for as long as you live.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, but, um, this is California.

Marilyn Monroe:
[snaps her fingers] That's where it was!

[Sam has gently averted Marilyn's advances]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
It's not that I don't want to. I mean, every man on the planet wants you.

Marilyn Monroe:
They don't want me. They want Marilyn. But I'm not her. She's somebody that I put on, like a cashmere sweater or a mink coat. Somehow, I think you're the first man I've ever met that really understands that.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I'm sure there were others too. I just... Maybe you weren't listening.

Marilyn Monroe:
I listened. Men didn't.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Marilyn, look, I know that for every good thing that this life has given you, it's also given you...

Marilyn Monroe:
A punch in the nose? A thorn for every rose?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Something like that, yeah.

Marilyn Monroe:
Those are clich?s, Dennis. They don't play.

John Tremaine Jr.:
It's 10 after. I'm sure she'll be here any second.

John Huston:
You don't know Marilyn. They should have given her her own time zone.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I don't know why; but... you've gotta make this picture.

Marilyn Monroe:
There'll be other pictures.

[Sam looks at Al who shakes his head]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I don't know about the other pictures; but this one will never come again. And this one needs you. It needs a brash, beautiful, glorious, untamable misfit.

Marilyn Monroe:
"Misfit"...

Marilyn Monroe:
[rehearsing a scene for her current film] When you really love someone, you both should be willing to teach each other everything. We're all dying. Aren't we? All of us. Old folks, and kids, husbands and wives. And we're not learning a damn thing.

[Al tells Sam about Marilyn's passing only two years after these events]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Are you telling me that I saved her life so she could be in one last picture?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
But what a picture.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
That's it, Sam. Marilyn does the film, and a lot of people say it's the best work of her career. Um... and, uh, get this: they re-title the film at Marilyn's insistence because of something that you said.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What do they name it?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
'The Misfits'.

Lamar the Promoter:
You can't win.

Ronny Sammis:
Can't win? What are you talking about? This is a title match!

Lamar the Promoter:
Well, you bet it's a title match. And you boys are "the Russians". Now, how the hell is it going to look to the American public to have a couple of communists be the world champion?

Ronny Sammis:
But we're not from Russia, we're from Arkansas!

Lamar the Promoter:
I know that. You know that. But John Q. Public don't know that. To him, you represent the epitome of evil - something to be destroyed!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
If this was the thrill of victory, I didn't want to be around for the agony of defeat.

[Carl Shilo has caught his wife Sherry with Sam in a compromising situation]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I've been doing some checking, and it turns out Mrs. Sasquatch here gets her jollies from watching her hubby dismember other men on her behalf.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Yeah, she's left a trail of broken necks from coast to coast.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[to Sherry] You set me up!

Sherry Shilo:
Well, a girl's got to have a hobby.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Can you believe it? I mean, can you believe how she set me up like that?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, you know, there's women that get a big thrill out of watching men suffer. Trust me on this, I've been married to most of them.

Dana Barrenger:
[Speaking to Sam as Peter Langly] I wanna love someone so much that the thought of living without him would be too much to bear. I wanna breathe him. I want the scent of him to make me smile. I wanna look into his eyes and know that I'm alive.

[Sam is reluctant to sleep with Diane]

Al:
Oh, Sam. You're going to have to bite the bullet. While I go back to put Research online, you're going to have to face a beautiful woman who wants to spend the entire night making mad, passionate love to you. It's a dirty job. But somebody's got to do it.

Sam:
Al... it-it's not morally right to sleep with a woman that you don't love.

Al:
I agree.

Sam:
You agree?

Al:
I have loved every woman I ever slept with - at the time I slept with them.

[Sam is trying to get a cat from a tree]

Al:
What are you doing, Sam?

Sam:
Trying to save Ginger.

Al:
That name is probably why he's up here in the first place.

Al:
Sam, how would you like to stop a revolution?

Sam:
What?

Al:
Does the name Fidel Castro mean anything to you?

Sam:
No, should it?

Al:
Well, I don't know, since it's '57 and he won't be taking over Cuba for two years.

Sam:
Don't tell me Ziggy's changed his mind about what I'm here to do.

Sam:
Parallel hybrid computers, they never change their mind. Their ego won't let them.

Roget:
I had a dream about you last night, Diane. -... - In the dream, you were running in the Argonne in the snow. I know it was the Argonne because the flakes were big and wet, the way I remember them as a boy. You went to an old mill, just like the one where the Gestapo caught Moulin. There was a German officer there, tall and arrogant. And you started to make love to him.

Diane McBride:
Roget, please, don't do this.

Roget:
Before it was over, I bled him till the snow turned red.

Sam:
That's enough.

Roget:
[to Sam] He looked like you. Except for the eyes. He had the eyes of a man who could kill.

Roget:
You know, I was wondering. Do you think Diane married you because you're a policeman? Maybe subconsciously she was seeking a protector, a blue knight. I asked my analyst about it this morning, and he thought it quite possible.

Sam:
What else did he say?

Roget:
Regretfully, that I was quite mad.

Sam:
I would agree with that diagnosis.

Roget:
Your lack of fear shows how little you know of me. Maybe I should tell you a little war story, about a woman I used to know. She had a Nazi lover. And she gave him the names of everyone in our village who was with the Resistance. The Gestapo caught, tortured, and hung them all. All but me.

Sam:
You killed her?

Roget:
Yes.

Sam:
She didn't give them your name?

Roget:
No. I suppose because she was my mother.

Diane McBride:
I know you haven't proven that Dr. Beckett has traveled back in time, or that if having done so he can make an impact of global importance. But it is the opinion of this committee that such heroic undertakings advance the human cause, and whether or not they succeed is not so important as the fact that we try. You have your funding for one more year, Admiral.

Tess McGill:
[Speaking to her father] And I'll tell you what. If there's a man on this ranch who can keep up with me for one week, then I'll marry him. But if he can't, then we forget about this marriage business once and for all.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[Declining Tess' hand in marriage, after successfully riding Widowmaker and thus winning the bet] Thanks, but no thanks. I just, uh... I wanted to see if I could ride him, not her.

Al:
Oh, well, almost all animals can see me. But you know, there must be something weird lookin' about me, because I seem to intimidate them.

Sam:
Maybe it's your clothes.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I can never figure out, when life is so short, how we always find time to argue. You'd think that we would look at the good things around us.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Carpe diem.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Seize the day.

Admiral Al Calavicci, Dr. Sam Beckett:
[together] And that's the way it should be.

[Sam is Deputy Sheriff Archie, who is caught up in a hurricane]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[voice-over] Strangely enough, the thought of being in a hurricane was somehow comforting and familiar. I guess that's because every time I leap, I feel that strange, unseen forces hurl me wherever they want to, and there is nothing I can do to stop them. So that for me, life, like storms, is unpredictable.

Mr. Deever:
Y-you know, er, if you could make the earth spin the other way, er, you could unwind hurricanes.

Joe Deever:
You know what the three worst words in the English language are? "Let's be friends."

Cissy Davis:
[about an old couple] Can you believe that? They got married after only two weeks.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah.

Cissy Davis:
Do you marry someone after only a couple weeks?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
If it was the right someone, I'd marry 'em after a couple of hours.

Cissy Davis:
Ever since I was a little kid, I, I always felt so charged up whenever there was a-a thunderstorm or somethin'. I just feel... more alive!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...

Cissy Davis:
Yeah.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Move mountains; right wrongs; travel through time; grow ten feet tall and run forever.

Cissy Davis:
Yes!

Cissy Davis:
[to Sam] Next to Boface, you're the male I love most.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
How do you feel about holograms?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
They must serve a lot of sweets in heaven.

Angelita Carmen Guadalupe Cecelia Jiminez:
Well, you're never going to find out.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Oh? Why not?

Angelita Carmen Guadalupe Cecelia Jiminez:
There's a dress code.

Al:
There was a girl named Trudy. She was retarded, Sam. Her IQ was lower than Jimmy's. And all the kids in the neighborhood, they used to tease her. Kids can be cruel. They'd call her names, like dummy and monkey face. And I hated it. And I used to get in fights all the time over this. But that's what big brothers are for, right? My mother couldn't handle it. That's probably why she ran off with this stupid encyclopedia salesman. But my dad tried to keep us all together. And he was a construction worker. He went from job to job, and then when it took him to the Middle East, I wound up in an orphanage, and she wound up in an institution. When I was old enough, I went back there for her, but it was too late. She was gone, Sam! Pneumonia they said. How does a 16-year-old girl die from pneumonia in 1953, Sam? We're not gonna lose Jimmy! Right?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Jimmy while performing CPR on Corey] Don't you die! Don't you die! Breathe, dammit! Come on! Come on, breathe! Dammit, breathe! Come on! If you die, you're never gonna see Star Wars!

Al:
Well, we been having some difficulty. Ziggy, he's, uh, going through mood swings. I think we need get a girl computer put it right next to him, one with a nice set of *hard* disks.

Sam:
You would.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Clyde] I want to talk to you about what happened this morning.

Ada Simpson:
Didn't nothin' happen this morning.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yes, it did. I'm talkin' about what Cody said. I'm sorry about that. It was wrong and...

Ada Simpson:
It's not about wrong or right, Mr. Clyde. It's just the way things is.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Well, I don't believe that.

Ada Simpson:
I know you don't, Mr. Clyde, you never did. But yours is just one voice speakin' in a hurricane.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, well... sometimes one voice is all you need.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Look, son, you know what it means to be in the Klan?

Cody:
It means we're gonna stop the coloreds from taking over.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Taking over what?

Cody:
I don't know.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You like Ada, don't you?

Cody:
Yeah, she's nice.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Would you ever hurt her?

Cody:
No. Why would I wanna hurt Ada?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Maybe because her skin's a different color. Some people are afraid of things that are different. It's not just skin color. It could be religion or...

Cody:
But then, why didn't God just make everybody the same? Then it wouldn't matter.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, see now, that's exactly the point, Cody. It doesn't matter unless we make it matter.

Cody:
But Grandpa says it matters.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
His papa told him, and his papa before him told him, and... nobody thought to say 'stop'. See, it's up to you and me to say, 'Stop. This is wrong.'

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Terror, like the night, knows no boundaries.

[Sam has set himself up to get hanged with Nathaniel]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Because I don't want to live in a world where fear and hate... hide behind a call for justice. Where men, women and children, born as free as you and me, are denied, among other things, the right to vote. And if they try to do anything about it, you hang 'em. Or you blow 'em up in a church. They're so proud of what they're doin', these dispensers of justice, that they have to hide behind masks to do it. Cody. Cody, you look at me, son. This is not justice. This is merely a desperate attempt to hang on to the past, a shameful past, that can never and should never be restored. So go ahead. You hang us now. But you cannot stop the future. Because you cannot kill everyone who was here tonight. And they will never forget what they saw.

Sam:
Gushie, why are you fading in and out like that?

Gushie:
[distorted] I must not be tuned into your exact brain wave.

Sam:
And your voice is...

Gushie:
[distorted] Ziggy did kind of a rush job.

Sam:
What are you doing here?

Gushie:
[distorted] Admiral Calavicci told me to let you know if Ziggy came up with any new information.

Sam:
Did she?

Gushie:
[distorted] Well, she says by not surrendering, you've changed history.

Sam:
For the better, I hope.

Gushie:
[distorted] In-in a way.

Sam:
[sternly] Gushie.

Gushie:
[distorted] Now, instead of getting shot outside the house, y-you get shot inside. Exactly 91 minutes from now, Sheriff Hoyt is gonna storm this house, and kill you. I'm afraid there's more. During the shooting, the little girl gets caught in the crossfire.

Sam:
Becky?

Carol Pruitt:
Becky? What about her?

Gushie:
Dr. Beckett - she's gonna be killed.

Ziggy:
Good evening, Admiral. Before we begin the profile scan, I'd like to take this opportunity to express my admiration for your selfless attempt to rescue Dr. Beckett. It is a fitting testimony to the bonding which humans tend to display toward others of their species. Unfortunately, I project a less than 34% chance of success.

Al:
Well, thanks for the vote of confidence.

[Sam has let one of his hostages go]

Gushie:
According to this, there's a 91.6% chance... you should be leaping. Apparently, saving the little girl accomplished your mission. Except...

Sam:
Except I can't leap. Because we don't have Stiles in the waiting room.

Gushie:
Time and space can be a bitch.

Al:
Leon, I know you're confused. But the truth is, you don't belong here.

Leon Stiles:
What, is this some kind of dream or something?

Al:
No, it's not a dream. I came to take you back, Leon.

Leon Stiles:
Back to where?

Al:
Back to 1958. There was a mix-up in an experiment, and accidentally, you traveled forty years into the future. You traded places with a friend of mine, who's stuck back in '58!

Leon Stiles:
You think I'm stupid?

Al:
Would I make up a story like this?

Leon Stiles:
People don't just jump into other people's lives!

Al:
Well, my friend does.

[Sam has leaped into Leon Stiles, an illiterate murderer]

Sam:
[voice-over] I've always made it a rule never to judge people on first impressions. Of course, rules are made to be broken.

[to prove that he is really a doctor, Sam has asked Carol to ask him a medical question]

Carol Pruitt:
The lungs consist of five lobes. Name them.

Sam:
Right upper, right middle, right lower, left upper, left lower.

Carol Pruitt:
That's right.

Sam:
Yeah. Go-go ahead, a-ask me somethin' else. Somethin' harder.

Carol Pruitt:
[flipping through the medical book] Okay, here's one. Name the bones of the foot.

Sam:
Phalanges, metatarsals, cuneiforms, navicular, cuboid, talus and calcaneus. I could spell them for you if you'd like.

Carol Pruitt:
You memorized it.

Sam:
Just had the book for a couple of minutes.

Carol Pruitt:
It's possible.

Sam:
When was the last time you met an illiterate speed-reader?

Al:
Gushie, I could kiss you, if you didn't have bad breath.

[Al has just been shot by Stiles]

Hooker:
Oh, my God. I thought you were dead.

Al:
[groans] No, I'm not dead.

[he opens his jacket]

Hooker:
What's that?

Al:
That's a... that's... a bulletproof vest. And never track a psychotic killer without one.

Hooker:
Hey, is that guy from another planet, or what?

Al:
Mostly "or what".

Gushie:
[voice] Admiral.

Al:
[looking around] Who said that?

Gushie:
[voice] It's me. Gushie.

Al:
Gushie? Where are you?

Gushie:
[voice] I'm right in front of you. Can't you see me?

Al:
If I could see you, would I be talking to the sidewalk?

Gushie:
[voice] I guess Ziggy didn't do a very good job of syncing our brain waves.

Al:
I take that as a compliment.

Carol Pruitt:
What's it like?

Sam:
"It"?

Carol Pruitt:
The future.

Sam:
You believe what I said?

Carol Pruitt:
I don't know what I believe. It's like everything's backwards. I mean, you break into my house and you terrorize us. I see the television, the things they say about you, then you turn around and you let Becky go. You're supposed to be illiterate, but you know more than most of my professors. It's like nothing makes any sense anymore.

Sam:
Welcome to my world.

[with Carol's help, Sam has completed his mission]

Sam:
Thank you.

Carol Pruitt:
For what?

Sam:
Believing me.

Al:
[Styles draws his gun on a Corporal that's just exited an elevator who then does the same] If you kill him, Dr Beckett can never get back. Put the gun away. That's an order, Corporal!

[Sam has leaped into Jesus Ortega, who is sentenced to death by electrocution]

Al:
Uh, according to Ziggy, you die on the 14th of May 1971. That's... oh, that's in two days.

Sam:
I got that, Al! Why?

Al:
Why?

Sam:
Why?

Al:
Well, probably because you can't live with two thousand volts of electricity running through your body.

Al:
[about Jesus Ortega] Well, he's, he's out cold in the Waiting Room. We can't revive him. Dr. Beeks thinks that Jesus thinks that he's already dead. So he's slipped into kind of a comatose coma or whatever.

Sam:
Well, tell Beeks to bring him around!

Al:
Well, you can't just dump a bucket of water on his head and say, "Hey, hey get up. You're not dead. You're just 25 years in the future." These things take time, Sam.

Al:
[when seeing Tearsa for the first time] Oh! Look at this, Sam. If I had had an attorney like that when I was in court, I'd still be in court.

Al:
[to Tearsa, on Moody] He's gonna break you into a million pieces and walk away with the Governorship and let two innocent men die in the chair. I just hope Sam Beckett's not one of them.

Theodore Moody:
Are you going to... dance before your execution, Jesus? Oh... It's an old prison saying. That a man on his final walk to the chair - the stench of fear chokes him, and he panics, struggling in the arms of his captor for one moment of freedom. Some people say it looks like a dance - the last dance before death. A little manic, don't you think?

[Father Mac is holding Tony on the train tracks at gunpoint]

Tony Pronti:
You're crazy, man. You're a priest! You you can't do this!

Father McRoberts:
I was a man first, kid.

Tony Pronti:
All right, just tell me what you want and I'll do it.

Father McRoberts:
I want you to bring Sonny back! I want you to brink back the clerk.

Tony Pronti:
I can't bring 'em back! I'm not God, and neither are you, man!

Father McRoberts:
Then may He forgive us both, son.

Father McRoberts:
[telling Sam about his time in the war] The enemy ran suicide squads at us all day long. All day. I don't know how many men I killed that day. I just can't remember anymore. But I swore if I lived, I'd spend the rest of my life making up for it.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
So you became a priest.

Father McRoberts:
It seemed like a good start at the time. Now I don't know.

Father McRoberts:
[to Sam - in the body of Frank Pistano - about the Montocelli sisters] I was here ten years before they quit reviewing my sermons. Now they just shoot me dirty looks from the front row. At least you're Italian. They consider being Irish a birth defect.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You can't reach! You gotta wait for her to come to you, and then you grab her. If you had done that, you would have caught her, just like on the double.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You really think so?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[laughing] Of course! Am I ever wrong? Marriages don't count.

Vanessa Foster:
This is so unfair!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Nikos] Trust me. You could not handle fair.

Vanessa Foster:
Yeah? Just try me.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You eat what you find. I'll eat what I find. How's that for fair?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[narrating] Despite all of Al's assurances, it wasn't easy finding food in this tropical paradise. After four hours of playing hide and seek with the crabs, I finally found something. Meanwhile, Vanessa found everything else.

[Sam has leaped into a shipwrecked Greek man - literally into the ocean]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[narrating] When you leap for a living, you expect to land in some stormy situations, but doing a half gainer into an unknown ocean? Somehow the words 'above and beyond' seemed inadequate.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner, but we're making preparations for Tina's birthday, and she wants me to pop up out of the birthday cake. Uh, you'll never believe what she wants me to not wear.

[when rummaging through Vanessa's chest, Sam picks up a contemporary bra]

Vanessa Foster:
What're you doing? Get your grubby paws out of my... Give- Give me that!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Trust me, I have no interest in your underwear.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I knew it. The sun is getting to his mind.

Vanessa Foster:
Now what're you looking for?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Just... praying that you've got some food and water in here.

Vanessa Foster:
It's a hope chest, not a picnic basket.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
That sounds more like a no-hope chest.

[in order to make their raft lighter, Sam is throwing out stuff from Vanessa's chest]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[hauling out a heavy box under Vanessa's protests] Oh, my God, what the heck is this? What is this?

Vanessa Foster:
Grandmama's sterling silver!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Sunken treasure!

[he drops the box in the ocean, then picks up a golden urn]

Vanessa Foster:
NO! NO!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What, it's Grandmama's favorite vase?

Vanessa Foster:
No. Grandmama.

[Sam and Vanessa are fighting over the wedding veil]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
We need a veil to catch the fish in!

Vanessa Foster:
Look- lookit! I'm telling you. You threw away my favorite shoes, you used my wedding dress as a sail. You are NOT going fishing with my grandmama's veil!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I won't tell her if you don't.

[Sam has made a tent out of paddles, sticks and wedding dress]

Vanessa Foster:
10,000 silkworms gave up their lives to make the silk for my dress. It took 200 oysters to find 32 matching buttons. Nine French seamstresses went blind sewing it together. And now, instead of a wedding gown, what is it? Camping gear by Chanel.

[Sam is increasingly frustrated with Vanessa]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
It just proves that you care for her a lot.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No way.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Hey, listen, there's no way she would get this bad under your skin, unless you had feelings for her.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
The only feelings I have for her are homicidal!

Vanessa Foster:
When we get back, I'm reporting you to Daddy.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Is that a threat?

Vanessa Foster:
My father owns the largest shipping company in the United States. He's been on the cover of Look magazine. He's frequently quoted in the Journal.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You sound like his press agent, not his daughter.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
My dad taught me the names of all the constellations. He said if I knew the names of the stars above our home, then I could never be alone, because I could always look up and know that he and Mom were looking at the same stars.

[Vanessa has asked Sam about one very bright star]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
That's not a star, that's a planet. That's Venus. Named for the goddess of love, born from the sea. A reminder to all men's souls that... true love is the only love worth having.

Vanessa Foster:
That's really beautiful.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, it is.

Al:
We're making preparations for Tina's birthday party and she wants me to pop out of the cake. You'll never believe what she wants me not to wear.

Oswald:
Hidell, Alex James. Private, first class. Serial number: 1522597.

Al:
Hidell? You're saying your name is Hidell?

Oswald:
What are you, hard of hearing? [Al consults his handlink] What's that?

Al:
Uh, it's a tape recorder. New model.

Oswald:
You won't need it. I've already told you everything I'm obliged to tell you under the rules of the Geneva Convention.

Al:
Well, you're obliged to tell the truth. 1653230, that's your real serial number, isn't it, Private Oswald?

Oswald:
[pause] That's no tape recorder.

Al:
So we both lied.

[Marina Oswald has just taken a picture of Sam holding a rifle and a newspaper]

Marina:
[in Russian] Haven't I taken enough?

Sam:
[in Russian] Enough what?

Marina:
[in Russian] Of these pictures of you dressed as a fascist killer.

[Sam is confused about his sudden fluency in Russian]

Marina:
You talk Russian, you talk English.

Sam:
So do you.

Marina:
No.

Sam:
Yes, you do, you- you're speaking English right now.

Marina:
One, two words.

Sam:
That's three. And "You talk English. You talk Russian", that's four more - seven. And "no" is eight.

Marina:
You funny, Alik.

Sam:
"You funny" - eight, nine, ten. How many more words do you know?

[Marina responds in Russian]

Sam:
No, in English.

Marina:
Yes, no, hello, good-bye, capitalists exploit the working class.

Sam:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. Where did you learn that?

Marina:
You.

Sam:
Me?

[looks at the newspaper he is holding:
the socialist periodical The Daily Worker]

Sam:
Oh, of course me.

[Sam is on a Marine target range, taking his marksmanship test]

Sam:
[narrating] I was a pretty good shot on the farm. Bagged my share of squirrels with a .22 and deer with a .30-06. But that was long ago and not at five hundred yards.

Al:
You're not a prisoner of war.

Oswald:
All members of the proletariat are prisoners in the class struggle.

Al:
I thought you were a member of the Marine Corps.

Oswald:
My status as a marine does not alter my membership in the exploited and oppressed class into which I was born.

Al:
I was joking.

Oswald:
I was not!

Al:
Take it easy, kid. I'm on your side.

Oswald:
Then I'm free to leave?

Al:
Uh, no. Not exactly.

Oswald:
Then I'm a prisoner.

Al:
Okay, all right. You're a prisoner of the proletariat and...

Oswald:
I'm a prisoner of the bourgeois and a *member* of the proletariat. You don't know your Marx, do you?

Al:
[coldly] After six years in the Hanoi Hilton, I tend to repress it.

Oswald:
Where?

Al:
That's where I was held as a prisoner of war, and where they didn't give a damn about the Geneva Convention.

[Sam is deftly questioning the strange, transvestite bartender, Joda]

Joda:
You think poor Joda is a spy?

Sam:
Are you?

Joda:
Well - I do almost anything for money.

[kisses Sam]

Sgt. Bellisario:
Do you often read The Daily Worker?

Sam:
[in Oswald's voice] It's the only newspaper that tells the truth.

Sgt. Bellisario:
The truth?

Sam:
[in Oswald's voice] How the United States oppresses the proletariat of the world with its military might.

Al:
He's back.

Sgt. Bellisario:
You sound like a communist.

Sam:
I know, I know.

Sgt. Bellisario:
But you're not.

Sam:
I'm not what I sometimes sound like.

Al:
Oh good. That's better, Sam.

Sam:
[in Oswald's voice] But if I were, I'd be a Marxist.

Sgt. Bellisario:
If you're a Marxist, what the hell are you doing in the Marine Corps?

Sam:
I don't know.

[Sam leaps again]

[Sam, as Oswald, is trying to defect to the Soviet Union, but he has no information to give them. The KGB director simply thinks he is hesitant]

Maj. Kosenko:
Once, my father, as a punishment for a menial infraction which I can't remember, made me stand naked on the boat dock behind our house. I was, uh, ten - old enough to be embarrassed had anyone witnessed my nakedness. But there was no one, because only my father was crazy enough to winter with his family on a lake inside the Arctic Circle. Yes, it was winter, the water was frozen two meters deep, and the snow came up to the nipples on my chest. The frostbite took two toes on my right foot, one on my left, and I missed most of the spring recuperating from pneumonia. Despite that, and other punishments I received at his hand as a child, I still loved the bastard. After all, he was my father. Our native lands are like that. No matter how abusive, how oppressive, how unjust their treatment, we have this patriotic, almost biological need to love them. It is only when we attain our political maturity, we realize that no matter how traitorous our actions may seem in our native country, the betrayal is theirs. It's not ours.

Sam:
[in Oswald's voice] My name... is Lee Harvey Oswald. In the Marine Corps, my serial number was 1653230. My MOS: 6741, aviation electronics operator. My first duty assignment was with Macs-1 in Atsugi, Japan. I arrived there on September the 12th, 1957...

Sgt. Lopez:
Just a word of advice, Private. You wanna ship home with all the body parts you came here with, zip your lip.

Sam:
[in Oswald's voice] Aye-aye, Sergeant Beaner.

Sgt. Lopez:
See you on liberty, Oswald.

Al:
Sam, are you outta your mind? You can't talk to *anybody* like that, much less a marine sergeant!

Sam:
I know, Al. I know.

Al:
Then why'd you do it?

Sam:
I didn't.

Al:
Excuse me, I heard you!

Sam:
You heard the words come out of my mouth, but I didn't say 'em.

Al:
You're scaring me, Sam.

Sam:
Well, you're not alone. Maybe... maybe this has something to do with... leaping twice into the same person.

Al:
What twice?

Sam:
I leaped into Oswald in '63. At least that's what the newspapers I was holding said it was: March of '63.

Al:
Well, how'd you know you were Oswald?

Sam:
Marina was taking my picture. You know that famous picture with the rifle and, and the newspaper?

Al:
That photograph is a fake. Yeah, Oswald's face is superimposed on somebody else's body to frame him.

Sam:
But, Marina took it.

Al:
How do you know she was Marina?

Sam:
I called her Marina, and-and she called me... Alik.

Al:
Well, there you see? You weren't Oswald.

[consults the handlink]

Al:
All we have to do is ask Ziggy to trace the name Alik to anyone working at the CIA or the FB...

[groans]

Sam:
What?

Al:
Alik was the name Oswald used in Russia. And, uh, that's the name Marina used to call him.

[Sam is worried about his mind merging with Lee Harvey Oswald]

Sam:
What if I assassinate the President?

Al:
You're not gonna assassinate the President. This is '57, that doesn't happen for another six years!

Sam:
Fifteen minutes ago, it was six years from now. And who's to say that's not gonna happen again, in November, with me at the Texas School Book Depository? Good God, Al. If that happened, I could stop the assassination.

Al:
If Oswald really was the assassin.

Sam:
What do you mean if Oswald was really the assassin?

Al:
Well, there's a lot of people think that he was set up.

Sam:
Set up? By whom?

Al:
Could have been anybody. Could've been the FBI, Secret Service, uh, CIA, the military, the Mafia, defense contractors, John Birchers, you name it. They all had something to gain from Kennedy's death.

Sam:
Al, we're talking about murdering the President of the United States.

Al:
Don't you remember all the conspiracy books and the movies?

Sam:
No. But I do remember that day in November like it was yesterday. I was ten and my dad was teaching me how to drive the tractor in the field behind the house. All of a sudden, Mom came out yelling at us. She ran up right to the fence and she was yellin' and we thought it was because of what we were doing. But then she told us that the President had just been shot.

[Sam's mind has been taken over by Oswald and he is about to murder Sgt. Lopez in cold blood]

Al:
Gushie, I can't get through to him! Tell Ziggy I've got to have a way to get through to him!

[info comes over the handlink]

Al:
You're kidding. Uh, Sam... Sam, what are the four fundamental forces of interactions in quantum physics? What are the four fundamental forces of interactions in quantum physics, Sam?

[Sam seems to hear Al]

Al:
Yeah, yeah, Sam. The four fundamental forces of interactions in-in quantum physics.

Sam:
Gravitation, electroma-magnetism, the strong and weak nuclear forces.

Al:
What's the Pauli exclusion principle?

Sam:
[starts to lower his gun] No two fermions can occupy a given quantum state at the same time?

Al:
Neither can two human souls.

[Sam leaps]

Sgt. Lopez:
Russian? You speaking to me in Russian?

Sam:
It's just a little slip of the tongue. See, I'm, uh, I'm studying Russian and-and-and some-, sometimes it comes out.

Sgt. Lopez:
[taking and twisting Sam's nose between his fingers] You know what I'm studying? Huh?

Sam:
The... Three Stooges?

Sam:
Al, if I leaped into Oswald to uncover a conspiracy, why didn't I stay in '63?

Al:
Maybe because it started here in Atsugi.

Sam:
Atsugi?

Al:
Japan.

Sam:
[looks around the rifle range] This doesn't look like Japan.

Al:
Sam, military bases look the same the world over. But you go out that gate and you'll see it's, it's Japan, there's no doubt about it. It's very beautiful, it's serene... and there's a lot of... beautiful geishas.

[Sam is being kissed by a Russian girl]

Sam:
How do you say "Oh, boy" in Russian?

Sam:
How I treated Mariska out there was sickening.

Al:
What'd you do?

Sam:
I treated her like dirt, and she threw herself at me.

Al:
Oh, works every time.

Gushie:
If Dr. Beckett leaped into Oswald to uncover the conspiracy, then doing nothing is an effective course of action.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
How the hell do you figure that?

Gushie:
Whether Dr. Beckett is himself or Lee Harvey Oswald is immaterial. Either way, you'll be there to observe. To watch the sixth floor window, the grassy knoll, the railroad overpass. You'll see it all! You'll know the truth!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
But I won't be able to stop it.

Gushie:
I realize that, Admiral, but you yourself said that wasn't what Dr. Beckett was leaped back to do.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, what if I was wrong? What if that's precisely the reason that Sam was leaped back?

Gushie:
Then Oswald would have to be the sole assassin.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
That's right.

Gushie:
No conspiracy?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No. Just one angry, envious man who-who wanted to propel himself into infamy.

Gushie:
But one lone man?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I know, it's more comforting to believe in plots, because if Kennedy could be killed that easily by one sicko, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Lee Harvey Oswald:
I admire the president very much!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You admire him, but you're gonna kill him.

Lee Harvey Oswald:
That's what this is about! You're secret service and you're detaining me because you think I'm going to shoot the president.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I KNOW you're going to shoot the president. What I want to know is are you acting alone?

Lee Harvey Oswald:
I don't even own a gun!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You own a 6.5mm Mannlicher-Carcano rifle and an S&W .38 special. The rifle is wrapped in a blanket at Ruth Paine's house and the pistol is at your rooming house at 1026 North Beckley. You ordered both of these guns through the mail under the alias of Alex J. Hidell.

Lee Harvey Oswald:
Marina! She told you these lies!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Marina told me nothing. But, when questioned, she'll talk about the shot you took at General Walker. And she'll talk about locking you in the bathroom when Nixon came to Dallas because she was afraid that you were going to try and shoot him too!

Lee Harvey Oswald:
I want a lawyer!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
There's no lawyer here, there's just you and me and the truth!

Lee Harvey Oswald:
I know my rights. I'm a member of the ACLU and I have...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[grabs Oswald's shirt and pulls him close] You're going to shoot the president from the sixth floor window of the Texas schoolbook depository!

Lee Harvey Oswald:
You're crazy!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You're damn right I'm crazy. [pulls a gun out of his back pocket] I'm crazy enough to blow your brains out through your ear if I don't get the truth!

Lee Harvey Oswald:
I don't believe in killing someone just because I disagree with their politics!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
ARE you acting alone?

Lee Harvey Oswald:
I-I want a lawyer. [Al pulls the trigger right next to Oswald's ear] I'M DEAF! I'M DEAF!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You're gonna be dead in a minute if you don't tell me the truth!

Lee Harvey Oswald:
Okay, Okay. Just don't hurt me. I'm not gonna shoot the president. [Al grabs his shirt again] But, I know is.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Who?

Lee Harvey Oswald:
Hidell. The guy who ordered the guns in the mail. He's the one who - [changes to Sam's voice] I'm lying Al.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam!

Lee Harvey Oswald:
[in Sam's voice] There is no conspiracy. I'm acting alone and you have got to stop me.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I can't reach you Sam. He's taken over completely!

Lee Harvey Oswald:
[in Sam's voice] You have to. You have to, or else it's gonna happen all over again. You have to find - [changes back to Oswald's voice] - Hidell. Find Alik J. Hidell. That's the man who's going to shoot the president.

[last lines]

Sam:
If you hadn't reached me... I would have sh...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No, it wouldn't have been you pulling that trigger, Sam, not really.

Sam:
And then when I... I-I had a chance to save him, I leaped. Why, Al? Why?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Oswald's mind finally reconnected, and when it did, he leaped back. And you leaped into the nearest person that could accomplish your mission.

Sam:
But I didn't accomplish it.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well - maybe you did.

Sam:
I didn't save him.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No. But it doesn't look like that's what you were here to do. Ziggy thinks you were here to save her. Your Swiss-cheese mind probably doesn't remember, but the first time, Oswald killed Jackie, too.

Lee Harvey Oswald:
[looking at Sam's reflection in the mirror] I still don't get how you do this.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, i-i-it is a little difficult to explain.

Lee Harvey Oswald:
You think I'm too stupid to understand?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, nobody understands it except Dr. Beckett.

Lee Harvey Oswald:
Try me.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Try you. Okay. Let's start with the string theory. What's the string theory?

Lee Harvey Oswald:
String theory?

Lee Harvey Oswald:
[in Sam's voice] It helped close the conceptual gulf between relativity and quantum mechanics. It postulates that subatomic particles are not points, but strings, about one Planck-length long. The rate at which strings vibrate can generate the properties of all known particles.

Lee Harvey Oswald:
[in his own voice] Hmm? How did I know that?

[Sam has just told the KGB everything Oswald knew about the U-2]

Lt. Guri:
[in Russian] The U2 overflights are at twenty thousand meters, not thirty. Is he giving us false information?

Maj. Kosenko:
[in Russian] I don't think so. I doubt that he knows much, and less about the U-2 than we do.

Sam:
How bad is it?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
It depends on how much you told them.

Sam:
I think I told them everything Oswald knew about the U-2. Gary Powers.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
The Russians shoot him down next May, and that incident extends the Cold War for years.

Sam:
That must be why I leaped in here, Al. To stop the Soviets from getting U-2 data from Oswald.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[consults the handlink] Oh, no, Ziggy doesn't think so. There's a 96% probability that you didn't give the Soviets anything on the U-2 that they didn't already have. That's good.

Sam:
But they shoot Powers down, right?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Yeah. It was just a lucky shot with a SAM-2, a hundred-to-one shot.

[Oswald has taken over Sam's mind, who is in the book depository with his rifle, waiting for the presidential motorcade]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam! Sam! Listen to me! Sam! I got to reach you, Sam! Sam, what are the four fundamental forces of interactions in quantum physics? Sam. Sam, explain the Pauli exclusion principle. Sam, what is supersymmetry, and how does it apply...? This is never gonna work. It's all happening again. It's November 22, 1963 and it's all happening again! Sam! Sam! It's November 22, 1963! Sam, and your dad is still alive! He's teaching you to drive a tractor, Sam. It's-, it's Elkridge, Indiana. You're ten years old and your dad is teaching you to drive a tractor. At this very moment, your dad is still alive, and he's teaching you to drive a tractor, Sam! On the farm in Indiana! He's still alive!

Sam:
Dad.

[Sam leaps]

[Sam is Margaret Sanders, a mother who becomes embroiled in the equal rights movement of the sixties]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[after an argument with George, Margaret's husband] Nobody should be treated like that, Al. Nobody. Patronized, insulted like that. It's...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
George and all the other Georges in the world, they have no idea that they're denigrating women. It's just they were never taught to behave any other way.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
What a scene! Chicks in cells. Talk about your major fantasy.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Thank you for sharing. Now, what the hell am I doing here?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
What could be better? Chicks in *chains* in cells.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
That would be bet- What? Wh- Oh.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
George is from a generation that was taught that women have a place, and men have a place, and never the twain shall meet.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yes, well, if that's the system, then take it from somebody on this side in a, in a dress, okay? It should crash and burn!

Diana St. Cloud:
In marriage, husbands and wives are one; and that one is the husband.

Suzanne Sanders:
Diana, I just don't understand. How did we let it get that way?

Diana St. Cloud:
Fear.

Suzanne Sanders:
Of what?

Diana St. Cloud:
Well, mine started with my father, who used to beat me.

Suzanne Sanders:
Really?

Diana St. Cloud:
And when he wasn't hitting me, he would tell me I was stupid, and brainless. And my mother allowed it, because she was so afraid she wouldn't be able to survive alone.

Suzanne Sanders:
I can't believe anyone would hit their own child.

Diana St. Cloud:
Well, I guess by putting me down, my father was making himself feel smarter and stronger.

Suzanne Sanders:
But that's wrong.

Diana St. Cloud:
I know. Suzi, men have been oppressing women for thousands of years, and we've allowed it.

Suzanne Sanders:
Well, I'm not gonna allow it.

Diana St. Cloud:
We allow it. And every time we tell our daughters they're not as bright, not as strong, not as good as men, every time, we're creating another generation of fear.

Suzanne Sanders:
Are you sorry you burned your bra last night?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[chuckles] No. The last thing I ever wanna wear is another bra.

[Diana has suggested a violent confrontation against the male society]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I understand that you cannot match strength in a physical confrontation.

Diana St. Cloud:
Unless we fight, nothing will change.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Fine. Fine, then fight them in the boardrooms, not in a street brawl. You wanna make a change? Take a lesson from Ghandi.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Or King.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Or Martin Luther King. You go out and start a riot, and people will only notice what's wrong about you. But you state your beliefs in an orderly fashion, and people will notice what's wrong about the system.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Oh, Sam. God, I love her. Beth is the only woman I ever really loved, she's the only one I ever wanted to grow old with. That's why all my marriages never worked after that. Sam, if you're lucky, life is gonna give you one shot at true love. And Beth was mine. I lost her, but you could get her back for me.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
God, Al, I wish I could. But I can't, and no one knows that better than you.

[last lines]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Beth, I've missed you so much. It's been such a long time - 25 years. Of course you haven't changed, but I have. I'm an Admiral now - me, the ensign, that said that anyone with a rank above Lieutenant was a horse's ass.

[Beth laughs]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Beth, you didn't hear me, did you? Oh, Beth, tell me you can hear me. [Beth gets up and changes the record] Look at me, Beth. Oh, Sam, why did you make me do this? [as Beth starts slowly moving to the music, Al joins and shadow-dances with her] I want you to wait for me, Beth. Don't give up, honey. 'cause I'm alive out there. And I'm only alive... because of our love. And someday... oh, Beth - someday, I'm gonna come back home to you.

[kisses her forehead and leaps]

Beth Calavicci:
Al. [starts to cry]

Bunny O'Hare:
Are you sure the doctor said to give the baby coffee?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Buster] Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.

Bunny O'Hare:
Well, hell, why don't we just give her a cigarette and a shot of whiskey while we're at it!

Al:
[singing, trying to remember the lyrics] All around the something... the monkey chased the weasel... the monkey did something... and something happened to the weasel.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam! Sam! You'll never guess who's in the Waiting Room: Elvis Presley. Huh, you're him, and he's you.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I know I'm him and he's me. -... - Tell you one thing I would like to know, though, is what the heck I'm doin' here.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, Ziggy's working on it, but, uh, she's working with diminished capacity because she's starstruck.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[narrating] 1954 was an age of innocence - a time when people still believed in the American Dream. I realized that I had leaped into a man who personified that dream, a man who went from being a truck driver to a superstar overnight. Walking a mile in Elvis Presley's blue suede shoes before he became the idol of millions made me realize he was just a normal person. I kept wondering if he would've been happier had he stayed that way.

[Sam has just had a fight with Frank]

Gladys:
You stay away from that man, y' hear? You always gettin' into scrapes these days. I don't know what to do with ya.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Elvis] Look, I didn't start the fight.

Gladys:
It don't matter who started. It takes two to finish it. What's so special about this girl anyhow?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
How'd you know it was about a girl?

Gladys:
'cause I'm your mama.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
There's nothing wrong with bein' a dreamer.

Sue Anne Winters:
It hurts too much when you wake up.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You'll never know unless you try.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Look. Everybody should be a dreamer. I mean, you gotta reach for the stars, not for the ceiling.

Sue Anne Winters:
But the ceiling keeps you out of the rain.

[after Sue Anne and Sam/Elvis have given a stunning singing performance]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You got a lot of talent.

Sue Anne Winters:
Well, then the good Lord must've been smilin' down on me.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, or you must've been reachin' for the stars, 'cause I don't think he could see you through the ceiling.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
According to Ziggy, the odds of the two of you getting a recording contract are a lousy 19-to-1.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al, news flash: Ziggy has been wrong before. Right?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Yeah, but in 1954, the world was just not ready for Sonny and Cher. As a matter of fact, the world was never ready for Sonny and Cher.

[last lines]

Sue Anne Winters:
What am I gonna do now?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Well, you're gonna reach for the stars. And you're gonna keep right on reachin', till you touch 'em.

Sam:
[chuckles] Al's uncle?

Al, the Bartender:
[smiles] I've always found coincidence amusing.

Sam:
And you still want me to believe that I'm, leaping me.

Al, the Bartender:
Sam, if you became a priest...

Sam:
I've been a priest...

Al, the Bartender:
So you have. If the priesthood had been your chosen life, even though the Church might sent you from parish to parish, don't you have to accept responsibility for the life you lead?

Sam:
Even priests can quit.

Al, the Bartender:
That's true. But they can also take sabbaticals, especially before embarking on a difficult new assignment.

Sam:
Are you saying the Leaps are going to get tougher?

Al, the Bartender:
[putting his hand on Sam's shoulder] Where would you like to go, Sam?

Sam:
Home.

[wiping a tear away from his eye]

Sam:
I'd like to go home. But I can't. Can I? I've got a wrong to put right for Al. You knew, didn't you?

Al, the Bartender:
[smiles] God bless, Sam.

[Sam Leaps for the Final Time]

Al, the Bartender:
At the risk of over inflating your ego Sam, you've done more. The lives you've touched, touched others. And those lives, others! You've done a lot of good Sam Beckett. And you can do a lot more.

Sam:
Captain Galaxy?

Ziggy Ziganovich:
No, it's Catain Z-Ro. Is there a Captain Galaxy too?

Sam:
Yes.

Ziggy Ziganovich:
It must be on channel 8. Al don't get channel 8 so good. Only sometimes late at night, when the signal bounces off the iodine layer.

Sam:
You mean the ionosphere. The signal bounces off the ionosphere.

Ziggy Ziganovich:
Yeah, that too.

[Ziggy describes the feeling of shooting a machine gun]

Ziggy Ziganovich:
Empty cabbages fly everywhere.

Sam:
You mean empty cartridges.

Ziggy Ziganovich:
Yeah, that too.

Al, the Bartender:
Maybe he's here for the same reason you are; to have a beer.

Stawpah:
I never drink beer Al. You know that.

Al, the Bartender:
That's right, I forgot.

Stawpah:
You never forget nothing Al. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if you did forget.

Al, the Bartender:
Things might go a little ca-ca.

Ziggy Ziganovich:
Don't let Stawpah get your goat. He forgets he's not in Russia anymore, where everybody works for the the BVD.

Sam:
You mean the KGB.

Ziggy Ziganovich:
Yeah...

Ziggy Ziganovich:
That too.

Sam:
So Al comes up with al the nick names around here?

Stawpah:
Why you need to know about our nicknames?

Sam:
I need it for my BVD report.

Sam:
Why did you tell I was Safety Inspector?

Stawpah:
Company men like Collins make me cripple, so I make him sweat.

Sam:
Look Stawpah. You've got a lot to be bitter about. But how is sweating Collins gonna help Tonci and Pete down there?

Stawpah:
You're right. I need find way get them out this time. They cold, wet, scared. Pete real scared 'cause he no can see his brother.

Sam:
What about their lamps?

Stawpah:
Carbide lamp burn air, so Tonchi put it out. It black like coal down there. but that not worst thing. Worst thing is water. Pump no work in bottom. Water already up to Tonchi belt. We no get them out soon, they no come out.

Sam:
How do you know all this?

Stawpah:
I been there. Too many times.

Sam:
[v.o] I had thought Stawpah's pain had turned him bitter and blind to anyone's plight but his own. I was wrong. He needed to save Tonchi and Pete as much as I did. Maybe more.

Al, the Bartender:
You're not here to save them.

Sam:
How did you know what I was thinking?

Al, the Bartender:
A good bartender has to be part philosopher, part psychiatrist, part psycic.

Sam:
Al, I'd like to talk to the philosopher part.

Al, the Bartender:
I just stick to the basics.

Sam:
Okay, okay. "To be or not to be," "I think therefore I am," That sort of thing?

Al, the Bartender:
Uh-huh.

Sam:
Uh-Huh. Why am I here?

Al, the Bartender:
Why do you think you're?

Sam:
No, no, no, no. That's answering a question with a question. That's psychiatrist stuff, all right? We're talking philosophy. Now why am I here?

Al, the Bartender:
You're beginning to think you're here to save Tonchi and Pete.

Sam:
But I'm not.

Al, the Bartender:
Not directly.

Sam:
What about indirectly?

Al, the Bartender:
Who knows what Don Quixote can accomplish?

Sam:
Who are you?

Al, the Bartender:
Bartender.

Sam:
Who knows everything?

Al, the Bartender:
Only God knows everything.

[laughs]

Al, the Bartender:
You don't really think I'm god, do you?

Sam:
You're more than just a bartender.

Al, the Bartender:
Well that's true. I own the place too.

Sam:
[after seeing his own face in the mirror for the first time in five years] I've got gray hair! And look at these crow's feet!

Sam:
Why did you tell I was Safety Inspector?

Stawpah:
Company men like Collins make me cripple, so I make him sweat.

Sam:
Look Stawpah. You've got a lot to be bitter about. But how is sweating Collins gonna help Tonci and Pete down there?

Stawpah:
You're right. I need find way get them out this time. They cold, wet, scared. Pete real scared 'cause he no can see his brother.

Sam:
What about their lamps?

Stawpah:
Carbide lamp burn air, so Tonchi put it out. It black like coal down there. but that not worst thing. Worst thing is water. Pump no work in bottom. Water already up to Tonchi belt. We no get them out soon, they no come out.

Sam:
How do you know all this?

Stawpah:
I been there. Too many times.

Sam:
I had thought Stawpah's pain had turned him bitter and blind to anyone's plight but his own. I was wrong. He needed to save Tonchi and Pete as much as I did. Maybe more.

Al, the Bartender:
You're not here to save them.

Sam:
How did you know what I was thinking?

Al, the Bartender:
A good bartender has to be part philosopher, part psychiatrist, part psycic.

Sam:
Al, I'd like to talk to the philosopher part.

Al, the Bartender:
I just stick to the basics.

Sam:
Okay, okay. "To be or not to be," "I think therefore I am," That sort of thing?

Al, the Bartender:
Uh-huh.

Sam:
Uh-Huh. Why am I here?

Al, the Bartender:
Why do you think you're?

Sam:
No, no, no, no. That's answering a question with a question. That's psychiatrist stuff, all right? We're talking philosophy. Now why am I here?

Al, the Bartender:
You're beginning to think you're here to save Tonchi and Pete.

Sam:
But I'm not.

Al, the Bartender:
Not directly.

Sam:
What about indirectly?

Al, the Bartender:
Who knows what Don Quixote can accomplish?

Sam:
Who are you?

Al, the Bartender:
Bartender.

Sam:
Who knows everything?

Al, the Bartender:
Only God knows everything.

Al, the Bartender:
[laughs]

Al, the Bartender:
You don't really think I'm god, do you?

Sam:
You're more than just a bartender.

Al, the Bartender:
Well that's true. I own the place too.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[speaking as Darlene] You know, getting into show business isn't easy.

Connie Douglas:
Neither is watching the world pass you by. I may not make it, but there's gotta be something more to life than kids and catalogs.

[Sam is embodying Darlene, a contestant at a beauty pageant, and currently wearing a 19th-century style dress]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Don't tell me, let me guess: Scarlett O'Hara on steroids.

[Sam is blocking Connie, who is undressing, from Al's view]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You know, you're really a prude.

Pageant Coordinator Peg Myers:
What in the name o' heaven do you think you're doing?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I'm sorry?

Pageant Coordinator Peg Myers:
Well, you're never gonna become Miss Deep South movin' like that.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Like... what?

Pageant Coordinator Peg Myers:
Like a... man. Oh, didn't anyone ever teach you the proper way to walk?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Was I doing it wrong?

Pageant Coordinator Peg Myers:
Not if you plan on becomin' a truck driver.

[Sam is Kyle Hart, an actor playing a doctor in... ]

Sam:
I'm in a soap opera!

Al:
We prefer 'daytime drama'.

Sam:
We...? You mean... you mean, you watch this stuff?

Al:
Oh, uh, Tina had me watching some of it while I was down with the flu. And, Sam, you wouldn't believe the things that go on on these shows.

Sam:
Okay. All right, I know.

Al:
I mean, everybody...

Sam:
I know.

Al:
...is sleeping...

Sam:
I know.

Al:
...with *everybody*.

Sam:
I know! Just spare me the details, all right?

Sam:
Why am I here?

Al:
Er, well, we're not sure.

Sam:
You're not...

Al:
No, Ziggy, uh, had a new data search component installed, and we had to have it shipped in from Hong Kong, and I think that gave a little jet lag to the modem of the floppy disc.

Sam:
Why do you make this stuff up all the time? Why don't you just say to me, 'Sam, we don't know.' Why don't you just do that for once, instead of makin' it up all the time?

Al:
Well - that wouldn't be any fun.

Sam:
You know what I have to do today? I have to go and have lunch with some woman, who won this... soap detergent contest!

Al:
Oh. Well, look at it this way. At least you know she'll be clean!

[Mrs. Reynolds is asleep in her wheelchair, which keeps spinning round and round... ]

Norma Jean Pilcher:
Mama, wake up. It's me, Norma Jean.

Millie Reynolds:
Norma Jean?

Norma Jean Pilcher:
Yes.

Millie Reynolds:
What happened?

Norma Jean Pilcher:
You fell asleep on your control stick again.

Millie Reynolds:
Oh, thank God. I dreamt I was caught in a tornado.

[Sam is being held at gunpoint by Mrs. Reynolds, his kidnapper's dotty, elderly "mother"]

Sam:
You don't have to keep that thing pointed at me, you know.

Millie Reynolds:
How can I shoot if it ain't pointed at you?

Sam:
That's a good question, M-Mrs...

Millie Reynolds:
[sweetly] Reynolds. Mildred Reynolds. You can call me Millie. Everybody does.

Sam:
Well, Millie, I'm not sure you understand what's happening here. Your daughter has put herself in a very dangerous situation.

Millie Reynolds:
Hm. Looks to me like you're the one in a very dangerous situation.

Waitress:
Do I know you?

Sam:
I don't think so.

Waitress:
I could swear I've seen your face someplace before.

Norma Jean Pilcher:
Yeah, well, he gets that all the time.

Hank Pilcher:
Yeah-ha - he's got one of those kind of faces.

Waitress:
What kind?

Hank Pilcher:
You know, one of those kind you... think you've seen, but you haven't... seen - but you think you have... kind.

Sam:
How does Hank feel about all this?

Norma Jean Pilcher:
Feel? What...?

Sam:
Well, it's gotta bother him a little bit to know that his wife wants to... be with another man.

Norma Jean Pilcher:
[snorts] I do not want to marry you. I just want to have a baby with you.

Sam:
That doesn't strike you as the least bit unusual?

Norma Jean Pilcher:
I like unusual.

[after Norma has smashed a tray with a tea set against the wall]

Al:
You know, she reminds me of my second wife; only, her specialty was small appliances.

Al:
I'll go back and I'll run some more scenarios on escapes, and maybe I can reduce the odds a little bit.

Sam:
So just hurry up, all right? She's planning dinner, and I got a feeling that... I'm the dessert.

Norma Jean Pilcher:
Are you still mad about last night?

Sam:
Mad? No. I was just kidnapped, held at gunpoint, and knocked unconscious. What's there to be mad about?

[last lines]

Ben, Lyle Hart's Agent:
[after Sam has been freed from his kidnappers] I was just thinking. It might be interesting, not to mention a ratings bonanza, if we were to, say, incorporate a similar ordeal into the life of one Dr. Craig Connor. Hm? I'll call the studio. Welcome back. [leaves]

Sam:
Did you hear that? He wants to take what happened to me here and put it on the show.

Al:
Yeah, yeah, I know. I heard, yeah.

Sam:
Is that ethical? It can't be ethical.

Al:
No, it's television.

[Al is keeping watch over a suicidal, quadriplegic Vietnam veteran]

Al:
It's all right to be angry, you know? Things happened to all of us over there that... are hard to live with. But we didn't start this filthy war, we just fought it. That's what soldiers are for, they fight. And I bet you think nobody cares, but that's not true; because I care, and Sam cares and... whatever it is that's jumping us around in time cares. They're gonna build a wall, in Washington. And they're gonna carve all these names in it, of all the victims of this lousy war. Don't add another one to it, huh? There's so many. There's too many.

[Billy is at the side of the pool, about to commit suicide]

Billy:
I should have died in that stinking jungle.

Sam:
The war's over, Sergeant.

Billy:
Over? Does this look like it's over to you? I was an all-state halfback in high school. I scored fifteen touchdowns my senior year. My body was perfect. Yet now, I can't even feel it.

Sam:
Well, you still got your mind.

Billy:
Do I?

[... ]

Sam:
You know, y-you're not the only one hurtin' around here. My wife just told me that she wants a divorce. She said she met someone else, and that things aren't the same anymore. She's right. They're not. We're not. Things won't ever be the same again. Nobody could go through what we... did, and ever be the same. But that doesn't mean that we don't count.

Billy:
You don't get it, do you? This war don't mean nothin'. It never did. They gave us the... the prettiest guns and the biggest bombs; but they didn't give us a chance. I lost everything! And in a few years, nobody'll even remember Vietnam.

Sam:
Then we have to remind them. We won't let them forget, because every time they see us, they'll have to remember.

Billy:
You know, at night, I close my eyes and, and I, and I'm back there. I see it all. I-it's like a song that plays over and over again, and you can't get it out of your head. Sometimes, it gets so loud, I think my brain is gonna explode. I just want it to be quiet. How can I make it quiet?

Sam:
[to Billy] Maybe you're right. Maybe your way is the best way of doin' things.

Al:
What?

Sam:
And I'm gonna help you.

Al:
Sam, this isn't funny.

Sam:
You got nothing to live for, right? You got rid of Carol; you've gone out of your way to make sure that nobody else around here gives a damn about you. What's one more body bag?

Sam:
It's easy to die, Billy.

[Sam is Captain Miller, a Vietnam veteran who has lost both his legs]

Commander James Hartig:
You're a lucky man, Ron.

Sam:
Lucky?

Commander James Hartig:
Statistically speaking. Do you know what the combat survival rate was in World War II? 71 percent. In Korea, 74. You wanna know what it is now? 85 percent, Ron. American technology - that's the key to victory.

Al:
I've been doin' some checking. It turns out that Miller went on and had three sons. And the oldest one followed in the old man's footsteps. Eh... Sorry.

[Sam has encouraged Billy to take a plunge in the pool - successfully]

Al:
Have you completely lost your mind? He's gonna drown!

Sam:
If I had stopped him, who's to say he wouldn't've tried again tomorrow?

Al:
Tomorrow? If you don't save him, there isn't gonna be any tomorrow for either one of you!

Sam:
Al, don't you get it? The only person who can save Billy is Billy.

Al:
Sam, what the hell are you talkin' about?

Sam:
I'm talkin' about death. He's never gonna be able to face life until he faces death.

Sam:
[slightly upset] By the way. My wife is- Miller's wife is on her way here.

Al:
Julie Miller.

Sam:
Julie. Oh, good. I know her first name. She probably knows mine. I mean, just think of all the things we can talk about now.

Kiki Wilson:
I wanted to help, so I became a volunteer. It helps pass the time.

Sam:
You don't strike me as a person who just passes the time.

Kiki Wilson:
Hmm, waiting is more like it.

Sam:
Boyfriend?

Kiki Wilson:
Little brother.

Sam:
What's his name?

Kiki Wilson:
Robert Allen. Bobby.

Sam:
How long has Bobby been gone?

Kiki Wilson:
It'll be two years in December.

Sam:
I'm sorry.

Kiki Wilson:
Hm. Not as sorry as he's gonna be when I see him.

[Kiki is studying Sam's palm]

Sam:
Wait a second. You read palms?

Kiki Wilson:
A hundred-year-old Gypsy king taught me. Maybe he was closer to 80. But he was definitely a king.

Sam:
How could you tell?

Kiki Wilson:
He had a crown.

Kiki Wilson:
[reading Sam's palm] This isn't an accident that you're here. You're on a mission. Someone needs you.

Sam:
Who?

Kiki Wilson:
Well, I can't really tell. But they're close. You've seen a lot of pain. But you're not bitter. You're a searcher, a seeker of truth.

Sam:
You see all that in my palm?

Kiki Wilson:
Not all of it.

Sam:
Destiny's a funny thing. It seems like the harder you try to stop it, the more determined it is to be fulfilled.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[pitching an atom bomb shelter] There you have it: the, er... Ellroy Super-Deluxe, designed to let you sit back, relax and... survive in style. So, er... what do you think?

Mrs. Klingman:
I think your pitch needs work.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, well... I'm not really much of a salesman. It's kind of my first day here.

Mrs. Klingman:
No, we don't need so much space. It's only me and my husband. We only have so much from his pension and what I make teaching piano.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Mrs. Klingman... you don't have to worry, they're not going to attack us.

[she shudders and moans]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What? What is it? Here, s... sit down, sit down. What's wrong? You okay?

[Sam sees a serial number tattooed on her forearm]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...

Mrs. Klingman:
[shrugs] It was a long time ago.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Whatever I said to upset you, I'm really sorry.

Mrs. Klingman:
No, no, no, no, no. No, it was the words. "Don't worry. They're not going to attack us." I heard those words before. I believed, and look at what happened. Dachau, Buchenwald... Now it is happening all over again. And this time, there will be no survivors.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Then why waste your money on a shelter?

Mrs. Klingman:
[laughing] You're right. You're not much of a salesman!

[Sam - as Eddie - describes to Mac the effects of a nuclear winter]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Everything would die.

Mac Ellroy:
No. Not everything. We'd survive, Eddie. Just like we survived Cimarron County in '35.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
The dust bowl?

Mac Ellroy:
You see, you don't, you weren't even born yet. You don't, you don't remember what it was like. I'll never forget. That afternoon, there was no wind. It was sunny, and still. Er... Me and Pa were walking a team of horses home, when thousands of these birds came flying by from the north. We looked back, and we seein' it comin' - this huge, rollin' tidal wave of earth spread across the sky. It drifted in like, like, like dark snow, blacking out the sun, making day darker than night. It was like the end of the Earth. Pa grabbed me. We held on to his horse's bit. We weren't more than a hundred yards off, we still could not find our way home. It covered the farm in dust. Everything we worked for died. And, I remember seeing the look in Pa's face. Somethin' in him died that day too. You never knew what he was really like. God.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No, I, I didn't, Mac.

Mac Ellroy:
Well... we survived that. And we're gonna survive this.

Stevie Ellroy:
Hey, Uncle Eddie!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Hey.

Stevie Ellroy:
What you doin'?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Nuthin'. What're you doin'?

Stevie Ellroy:
Nuthin'. Wanna join me?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Have you ever been this scared before?

Stevie Ellroy:
Yeah, I guess. When my mom was in the hospital for an operation, I was afraid she might die.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
If you look back on that time now, you can see that you were worried about something bad that didn't happen, right?

Stevie Ellroy:
Yeah.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Well, let's... let's just pretend that you can travel into the future, and look back on this time right now. Now, you'll see that the Russians never hurt you or your family. And you'll see that you were spending a lot of your time and energy being afraid of something bad that never happened.

Stevie Ellroy:
So being afraid is stupid?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No. No. There's nothing wrong with being afraid. Sometimes, it just doesn't do you any good. So, come on, what do you say? Let's pretend that we've traveled into the future. And everything back here is OK. And then you're not scared anymore.

Stevie Ellroy:
OK.

Sam:
Do you have to sneak up on me?

Al:
I'm sorry. What do you expect a hologram to do? Knock?

[Helen has suspected Sam - as Karl - of dumping her in favor of Edie]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Look, Helen, believe me...

Helen Le Baron:
Yeah, well. Enjoy it while you can.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What'd you mean by that?

Helen Le Baron:
She might be younger and prettier, but she won't be for long, no, not at the rate that she's going.

[Al is looking at a larger than life-sized poster of Edie in a swimsuit, ogling especially the lower section of her body]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You reached her face yet?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I'm working on it.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al, I can't believe I'm here to do a summer high-fashion spread, or whatever they call it.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Oh, hey... Maybe, maybe you're here to get Sports Illustrated to shoot the first swimsuit issue. Oh, that would be great; let's... Nah! Damn it! That happened in 1964, and here we are, June 15, 1965.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Soon to be '66, if you don't start telling me...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Oh, okay, all right...

[Al is butting in on Helen while she is making out with Sam]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Let's go catch Dylan down in the village after dinner. I used to love, I... I used... Aye aye aye... This was always my favorite part of modeling, actually.

[after Edie has accidentally taken an overdose, Sam is trying to keep her walking around and talking]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[helping Edie back on her feet] Al! Come on, come on, come on.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam, Ziggy says she's got a 42%... Oh, wait! It's going up! 43%. Sam, keep her going!

Edie Landsdale:
[groggy] Al?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Uh, Al is my dog. Al, on the farm.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[indignant] Your dog? All right, it's up to 46%, but I'm still insulted.

Kyle:
Why'd he shoot Phil? He was a nice man.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Frank] Sometimes bad things happen to good people.

[Sam embodies Frank, a dashing hairdresser, who is very popular with his female clientele]

Mimi:
How's the girlfriend?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
She's great.

Mimi:
Pity.

[Sam has to deal with a pair of very flirtatious twins]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[taking them in his arms] Let me ask you, ladies, what... is it exactly that you have in mind?

Lisel:
Well, Elsa and I have a political function to attend. And we thought...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[starts kissing them one by one] Something, uh, wild, or something... free?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Hey! Is that part of me still in you or what?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Maybe.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Stop this!

Elsa:
Maybe?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Maybe we should make some of those uptight political types really suffer! So why don't you ladies get out of those clothes, slip into some robes? We'll wash you... [handkiss] We'll rinse you... [handkiss] And I'll think of something really nasty for your hair. Rraorr!

[the twins growl back and disappear in a corridor; all the while, Al's face has become longer and longer]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Ha! You're drooling!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Of course I'm drooling. Why are you doing this to me? I never had my own little set of twins, ha-ha.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Because you deserve it.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Huh?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You nag me if I don't resist women, and you nag me if I do resist...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You're doing this to torture me!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yes. And it's working.

[last lines]

[Sam has offered to teach Kyle to swim, like a father would his son]

Kyle:
Father?

Laura:
What're you saying, Frank?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Um...

Admiral Al Calavicci:
That's okay. Frank and Laura get married.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I guess... I guess I'm... asking you to marry me - Frank. M-me.

Laura:
You guess?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I guess, "guess" is not the best choice of words, Sam.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[chuckles and clears throat] Will you marry me?

Kyle:
Yes!

Laura:
Yes. Yes!

Al:
Their only desire is for you to pamper them, and play with their...

Sam:
Al!

Al:
With their hair! Their hair!

Thelma:
[after the duet] Hell, you two are good! You should get yourself an act.

Thelma:
[after Lorraine exits] Did I say something?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Joey] No, no. We, um, we had an act about 3 years ago.

Thelma:
Oh. Well, you ought to put it back together.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Play it again, Sam. I always wanted to say that!

Lorraine:
You know, I always wished we'd gone to Hawaii. They've got some great lounges there. We could have found one, settled down, bought a little place on the beach...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Paid a zillion dollars for it.

Lorraine:
And lived happily in debt ever after.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
What's the matter with you? What're you doing?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I'm following my gut.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I hope you got good guts.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
So do I.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[referring to Chucky] What are you so interested in this kid for anyway?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[sighs] 'cause he reminds me of you.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Oh. What?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You remember the first time we met, Al? You were running the Star Bright Project, and, uh, I came into the lab, and you were smashing the vending machine with a hammer.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Oh, uh-mmm, it ate my dime.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, you were, you were drunk and, uh, angry, and... the government wanted to wash you out of the project completely, but I stopped them. Because I knew that underneath all that booze and that anger was a pretty terrific person.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
So you think this... kid is a terrific person too?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I don't know. But I think he deserves a chance to find out. Don't you?

[Coach hands the mascot pig over to Sam, who embodies "Doc", an aging baseball player]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What's this?

Coach:
You know the rules. The one who screws up babysits Milo. You did, so you do.

Billy:
Oh, boy.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Yeah, there is something magical about a baseball diamond. Yeah - no matter how old you get, it still makes you feel like a kid.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[referring to Al's experiences as a baseball pitcher] Is there anything you haven't done?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No. Oh, wait. There is these twins at the fitness center...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
All right, I'm sorry I asked.

[Al is teaching Sam how to pitch]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You can't hold it like that. It's hand pitching.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What's wrong with holding it like this?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Because i... It's fine if that was a hand grenade, but it's a baseball. You gotta treat it like a woman.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Why does everything always come down to being a woman?

Bunny:
[trying to seduce Sam] I've heard about the way you treat women. The thangs you do.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Thangs? What thangs?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[picking up a picture frame from Margaret's desk] Who-who-who is this? Is this your husband?

Margaret Twilly:
Yes.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Where is he?

Margaret Twilly:
He died of a heart attack.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Oh. I'm-I'm sorry to hear that. He looks like a very fine... man.

Margaret Twilly:
He used to dress up in my underwear and pretend he was Judy Garland.

Warren Monroe:
I've seen you play a few times. You're good.

Chucky:
Well, I don't know about that. I'd be in a lot of trouble if, uh, if Doc here hadn't made that leap.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
You can say that again, kid.

Kilpatrick:
Heck of a catch!

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I read this book Nick's writing. That's why I know everything. It's not d?j? vu.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Another illusion shattered forever.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Nick and Alison loved each other but they were too loyal to Phil to do anything about it. Listen to this: "The heat between us was like a six-day jaunt in the Sahara, but out ties to Phil were as tight as the drunk on the corner stool."

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Not exactly Faulkner.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You can say that again. I think I'm here to find Phil's killer so that Allison and I can live happily ever after.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam, don't you mean Allison and Nick?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Well, yeah, sure.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam, you know, Allison could be the killer.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No? Why do you say no? Because "her body could part the Red Army?"

Dr. Sam Beckett:
No, because we've got Klapper.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Careful, Sam, there was no cure for that in 1953.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al, Klapper is the dropper who shot Phil. At least that's the rumor.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Yeah, but people hire droppers.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
It wasn't Allison. But whoever it was is probably here in Nick's book. So, if you could just find me "Dead Men Don't Die".

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I doubt that it was published under that title.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Check under Nick Allen.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Maybe he used a nom de plume. I would.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Just have Ziggy do it, okay? That's what computers are for. Just find me the rest of this book, because for the life of me, I can't remember how it ended.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, it wasn't with Allison and Nick living happily ever after.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You read it?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No, but if it ended like that, why would you be here?

[Al has returned with the book about the case Sam is living]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Who killed Phil?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I don't know.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What do you mean you don't know? You've got the book, I saw you.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Yeah, but, you know, it's an unfinished mystery. It's one of those contest books that had in the '50s. You figure out who did the murder and if the cops can prove it, then you win ten grand. [hold up the book]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al, it says "Who Killed Grimsley *and* Allen?"

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Yeah, I thought you'd notice that last part.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
How did I die?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Back-stomped an ounce of lead.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Klapper?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Probably, but nobody ever collected on it.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Who did the readers suspect?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Everybody from Joseph Stalin to Colonel Mustard. But most of the folks voted for your paramour, the Red Widow.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Just find me the rest of this book, you know, because for the life of me, I can't remember how it ended.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, it wasn't with Allison and Nick living happily ever after.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You read it?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No. But if it ended like that, why would you be here? So they could live unhappily ever after?

[Sam has the theory that Allison and Seymour are going to be killed by Klapper]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I don't know, Al, it just seems like... the most logical explanation.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
A more logical one is that Allison is Klapper. You want to have safe sex with her, you'd better wear a bullet proof vest.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam, I think...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Don't say it, Al.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
...this is the start of a wonderful friendship.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
You couldn't resist, could you?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[to Sam on Alison] The only way to have safe sex with her would be to wear a bulletproof vest.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[Speaking as Magic to Grady about The Brush] He shouldn't have done that to Alberta.

[first lines]

[Sam is embodying Rod, a Chippendale dancing in front of a mob of crazy women, who are trying to undress him]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[voice-over] In Ancient Rome, slaves were forced to fight armored gladiators to the death. If the slave survived, he'd be set free. In this crowd, he'd be eaten alive.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
This is horrible!

Admiral Al Calavicci:
What are you complaining about? Most guys would kill to be in a room full of screaming, sex-crazed women, who want nothing more than to...

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Treat me like a piece of meat.

[he opens the door just a slit and slams it shut again to the still screaming crowd of women]

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Exactly.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I had a thing for a deaf girl once. Boy, could she read lips.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al, this is no time for one of your cheesy kiss-and-tell stories.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
She was my lab partner at MIT. She was one of the brightest women I've ever known.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
And she wouldn't sleep with you.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
No.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Right?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Why does your Swiss-cheese memory remember stuff that I want to forget?

Otto:
Hey, Mario. What's with the new broad? She's been ignoring me all night long.

Mario:
Well, maybe she's got good taste.

Otto:
[humorless] Ha-ha. Just don't schedule her any more on weekends, OK?

Mario:
Don't worry, Otto, she'll be dancing bachelor parties for me after tonight.

Otto:
She's a stripper, huh?

Mario:
I prefer to call 'em exotic dancers. Right, Rod?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

Otto:
I prefer to call my car a Rolls, but it ain't.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Sam, I know that look.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
What look?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
What look? That look. The "I'm gonna save the world" look. Ziggy says this leap's over as soon as the brothers surrender.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I can't do that.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
What do you mean you can't? Maybe I'm not making myself clear here. I'm talking life and death here.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
So am I. Don't you get it, Al? It doesn't matter if you kill a man with a gun or with a pen. In the end, he's still dead. I'm home, Al. And I'm gonna stay right here.

[Sam has leapt into Willie Walters, who, together with his brothers, has taken hostages in a bank]

Carrie Young:
Why are you doing this?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
If you could just be patient a little bit.

Neil Walters:
Let me tell her. [he holds up his hands] See these? That's what my father left my brothers and me when he died. We get up before the sun, and we don't rest till after dark. Then along comes Gus Vernon. He tells you you ain't gonna make it unless you increase the yield. Modernize, he says. Well, you're afraid of losing the only thing you got. So you go along, and you make the deal. But somehow, no matter how hard you work, you can't keep up.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Pretty soon you're selling off the milk cows to make the next payment.

Carrie Young:
It was just business.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Well, we'd like to hear Gus Vernon explain that kind of business to us face-to-face.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
I know that you're sympathetic with the situation here because it's your home town and all of that, but Ziggy says there's a 73.9% chance that if you surrender, you'll leap.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Leap? Why would I wanna leap? I'm home.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
But you're here to save the brothers, right? So? You got to turn yourself in. Right? So? Let's go! Right?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I can't.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Eh... How did I know he was gonna say that?

Gus Vernon:
What the hell's going on, Clyde? One minute I'm doing business, the next I hear my bank's being robbed.

Sheriff Mundy:
Well, first of all, your bank isn't being robbed, it's being occupied. Secondly, it isn't your bank. It belongs to the town.

Gus Vernon:
I didn't drive 30 miles to get a lesson in semantics.

Mary Walters:
[to Vernon] You're gonna listen. We're not the first to go under here. And we won't be the last. Now, I was born in this county. Most of these folk here were. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and let the likes of you steal it out from under us! No, sir. My boys stay right where they are! And they stay there with my blessing.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
[of Vernon] What a nozzle. I'd l-, I'd like to grab his Adam's apple and pull it out through his nostrils.

Beth Ryan:
The way I see it, Gus Vernon has it comin'.

Carrie Young:
Beth!

Beth Ryan:
Well, he does. I don't know why you're always protecting that man.

Carrie Young:
Because he is our boss, that's why. We wouldn't have a job if it wasn't for him.

Beth Ryan:
Oh, some job. Two dollars an hour, no benefits, and you. I should've never quit the Dairy Queen.

Carrie Young:
If you ask me, that's where you belong.

Beth Ryan:
Well, at least I don't have to sleep with the boss to keep my job.

Carrie Young:
You little bitch!

Beth Ryan:
Takes one to know one.

[last lines]

[Sam comes face to face with his real dad]

Dr. Sam Beckett:
I'm Willie Walters.

John Beckett:
Bill Walters' boy?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
That's right.

John Beckett:
I haven't seen you since the funeral. Your father was a good man.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
He was the best.

John Beckett:
How's your mother?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
She's good. She wanted me to give you a message though.

John Beckett:
Message?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, she, uh... she wanted me to wish you a merry Christmas.

[he hugs John]

John Beckett:
Well... Merry Christmas to you too, son. Merry Christmas to you.

[Sam has to testify as Katie at her rape trial the next morning]

Sam:
Al. I think I figured out the solution to the problem.

Al:
Well, then you're doing better than me and Ziggy.

Sam:
Who's the one person who can tell us the truth about what happened that night?

Al:
Katie.

Sam:
Right. So we bring her in to testify.

Al:
A-ha. How can we do that? She's in the waiting room.

Sam:
No, wait a second. What if she's in the imaging chamber?

Al:
And touching me!

Sam:
Then I can see her.

Al:
Yeah, but you couldn't hear her. And your lip-reading is terrible, as- Oh! I could repeat everything she says.

Sam:
No, no, no, that would take too long. You have to figure out a way for me to hear her.

Al:
How?

Sam:
Well, I haven't figured that out. That's for you and Ziggy to work out.

Al:
In twelve hours?

Sam:
Oh, come on, twelve hours. What's twelve hours? You and Ziggy together? Come on!

Al:
What makes you so sure?

Sam:
It's all the time I got.

[Al enters through the imaging chamber door with Katie McBain]

Al:
We did it, Sam. We did it. Of course, it took enough power to light up St. Louis for a month, but we did it.

Nancy:
Miss McBain, did you go out on a date with Kevin Wentworth on the 20th of June?

Katie:
Yes. He asked me to go to dinner that night. [Sam repeats]

Nancy:
Did you accept?

Katie:
Yes. [Sam repeats]

Nancy:
Could you please tell the court what happened on that dinner date?

Katie:
Kevin took me to Au Petit Richard. It was very expensive and very nice. [Sam repeats] Then, after diner, he asked me to go for a drive. I told him I had to work the next day. I'd rather go straight home. [Sam repeats]

Nancy:
Did he take you straight home as you requested?

Katie:
No. He took me to Fort Cronkite instead. [Sam repeats]

Nancy:
And what happened there?

Katie:
[Sam can no longer be heard repeating Katie's testimony] He parked the car and started to kiss me.

Nancy:
Did you kiss him back?

Katie:
At first, but then he started to get carried away and I stopped.

Nancy:
Carried away?

Katie:
He tried to put his hand up my dress.

Nancy:
Go on.

Katie:
I told him I wasn't like that. That I was a nice girl.

Nancy:
What did he say?

Katie:
He said the only difference between nice girls and bad girls is that bad girls help you. Then he started kissing and groping me again and I started to cry.

Nancy:
How did he respond to your tears?

Katie:
He slapped me. And I think I screamed, because then he hit men and pinned my arms behind me.

Nancy:
And then what happened?

Katie:
Then... then he raped me.

Nancy:
Did you resist him?

Katie:
Not after he hit me.

Nancy:
Why not?

Katie:
Because... I was afraid he would kill me.

Nancy:
How did you escape?

Katie:
When he was through, he got off me and I opened the door and I ran.

Nancy:
Did you fall while running?

Katie:
No.

Nancy:
Did you consent to having sexual intercourse with Mr. Wentworth that evening?

Katie:
No.

Nancy:
Did you behave in any manner that would make Mr. Wentworth think you wanted to have sexual intercourse with him that evening?

Katie:
No. Never. He raped me.

[after failing to convict Kevin of rape]

Sam:
I'm still here, so it must not be over yet.

[last lines]

[Sam has just beaten Kevin up and knocked him unconscious]

Jim:
Sweetie, what happened?

Sam:
He tried to do it again, only this time, I wasn't pinned inside of a car.

Jim:
[stunned] You did that yourself?

Sam:
Don't act so surprised, Dad. I mean, after all, I am a McBain.

Shumway:
Katie, this is Nancy Hudson, Assistant DA.

Nancy:
Sorry this happened to you.

Sam:
Yeah, me too. Thanks.

Nancy:
Uuh... We have your statement. She looked at mug shots yet? Maybe we'll get lucky.

Sam:
I don't think that that will be...

Shumway:
We know the man.

Nancy:
And?

Shumway:
And he was her date.

Sam:
Is that gonna be a problem?

Nancy:
Katie, in cases like yours where the rapist was your friend, they're incredibly though to prove.

Sam:
That doesn't give him a right to commit a crime. Rape is a crime, isn't it?

Nancy:
I didn't say it wasn't. But all it takes is for you to say "yes", and it's not a crime. One word, Miss...

Sam:
McBain.

Nancy:
...and we don't have a case. Isn't that right, Officer?

Shumway:
Hey, look, I know we got burned on the last one, but... I'd bet my new fishing rod we can win this.

Nancy:
Your *new* fishing rod, eh? That's serious.

Nancy:
[to Sam] Look, I don't mean to make light of this situation, but... gotta be at a hearing in ten minutes. Katie, I'll tell you what. Tell you what, I'll review this file. Come back after lunch. Alone.

Shumway:
You're hurting my feelings.

Sam:
I'll be back, thanks.

Nancy:
And I really am sorry.

[leaves, then quickly returns]

Nancy:
Shumway, what would I do with your new fishing rod anyway?

Shumway:
I'd... You'd loan it to me every weekend!

[Kevin has been acquitted for the rape]

Nancy:
I'm sorry. After your testimony, I was sure they'd convict him.

Colleen:
You have to forget this, Katie. We'll, we'll-we'll go somewhere-, we'll go somewhere where no one know us.

Sam:
I'm not running away. I've done nothing to be ashamed of.

Nancy:
Your mom's right about putting it behind you, Katie.

Sam:
How? How am I supposed to forget everything that's happened? And I'm not just talking about the rape, I'm talking about everything that's happened to me since then.

Nancy:
I forgot by becoming a prosecuting attorney.

Sam:
You were raped?

Nancy:
[becoming emotional] Twelve years ago.

Al:
The guy was never convicted.

Nancy:
That's why I try to only take rape cases I think I can win. See, when I lose, I go through it all again.

Sam:
[hugs her] I'm sorry.

Jim:
Come on, honey.

Sam:
Thank you for trying.

Sam:
Come on, Al.

Nancy:
Who's Al?

Sam:
Uh, he's kind of my, uh, patron saint of hopeless causes.

Nancy:
Hm, come on, Al. We need all the help we can get.

Becky:
I've got to live life if I'm going to be a writer. I've got to stay on the road.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Shane] Being on the road doesn't mean that you literally have to be on the road, I don't think. I mean I think it's more about the journey of life, maybe, and, and you can start that right here.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Al, I can't be a biker.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Where is your sense of adventure? Don't you know what it feels like?

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Yeah, like playing slip and slide on asphalt! I mean, look at my leg.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Nah, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the way it feels when the, the sun blasts into your skin - if you've got sunscreen on - and the wind waves by your face and you sail off into the blue on your chrome-plated candy colored flaming red dream machine. You never know what's around the next corner.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Probably a head-on with a semi.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Don't tell me you were a biker, too.

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Er... Well, my first car was a bike. I had a '48 Harley Knucklehead.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Named after you?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Pretend you didn't say that. I used to love to ride girls on the back of that thing. Ah, those were the days and nights.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
Is there anything you haven't done, Al?

Admiral Al Calavicci:
Well, there's one thing that's impossible to do on a bike...

Jack Kerouac:
Man. I can't lie. I speak for it. I speak out for freedom. I speak out for experience. I speak out for life. I speak out for all the roads criss-crossing America in one immense, infinite dream that glides in one infinitesimal holy honey of creation. That vast sea of the brotherhood that underlies the essence, the unborn essence of everything. I speak out for the road. Zen, apple pie, hustlers, pimps, crazy jazz, truck stops, cops, criminals, and all the things that blast past you while you're beed-boppin' down that ol' highway to heaven and hell.

Becky:
I told you, I'm not going.

Ernie Tyler:
Well, if you ain't goin', I guess you're stayin'. I got this spare room above my garage, it's yours for the night. And maybe if you get some sleep, you'll wake up with some sense. But I doubt it.

Becky:
No, I've got to see, I've got to do.

Jack Kerouac:
I've got to move, I've got to groove - away from the rumbling hooves of suffocating mediocrity. That's what you were thinking, wasn't it? -... - I was talking to a friend the other day about this very subject. He was illuminating - like a thunderstorm at midnight. And when I overheard your dilemma, on my quest for a cup of coffee, I couldn't help but be reminded of it, and other things. On the wheel of life, we all go around, we are many people, at many times. We all go through phases of motion, devotion of the notion, of living on the edge... of life, or of a continent. But the road is not made of asphalt, but of the people we meet. And each of us is on a different journey. And that's OK. So sometimes it's OK to get off the road we ride on wheels, and just... stay. Something will come of it. 'cause that's a world worth writing about too.

Sam:
[v.o] College is wasted on the young. I mean, think of it: a four-year license to learn and have fun without the pressures of work and family.

Dawn:
I never met a real superhero before. Hi, I'm Dawn Taylor.

Sam:
Hi, I'm... Arnold Watkins.

[they shake hands]

Dawn:
Just how fast was that speeding car going?

Sam:
Oh, it wasn't really going fast. I mean, when I got on it, it was standing.

[Dawn leaps out and Alia leaps in]

Sam:
You okay?

Mike:
She's fine, she's fine. Her only problem is she's smelling your dirty socks, Arnold.

Zoey:
Frat boys, my favorite college subject.

[Sam and Alia are meeting in the library, both unaware of who the other is]

Alia:
I'm sorry Mike was such a jerk today.

Sam:
Oh, it's not your fault.

Alia:
Most of the time he's really sweet. He only acts macho when it comes to his fraternity.

Sam:
Macho?

Alia:
Yeah, I learned it last summer in Spain. It means manly, masculine, *macho*.

Sam:
Yeah, well, he sure likes acting macho when he's out chicken racing with his buddies, doesn't he?

Alia:
Yeah, you're not kidding.

Sam:
Have you ever tried to talk him out of it?

Alia:
He doesn't listen to me. I'm just his girl.

Sam:
Oh, yeah, right. It's the '50s.

[Alia gives Sam a puzzled expression]

Sam:
I mean, I've got this feeling that s-, that someday, men are gonna be much more receptive to the way women think.

Zoey:
Where the hell is he?

Alia:
He'll be here.

Zoey:
Nerds are nothing if not punctual.

Alia:
Would you relax? I guarantee within five minutes, I'll have Arnold's slide rule fully extended.

Zoey:
That's my girl.

[Zoey and Alia have just discovered that Arnold is actually Sam, who Alia has previously been instructed to kill]

Zoey:
You know, Lothos is not too pleased with your prior performance concerning Dr. Beckett.

Alia:
Well, then why the hell did he send me here?

Zoey:
Seems to be as much of a surprise to Lothos as it is to us.

Alia:
He's supposed to know everything.

Zoey:
He does. Dr. Beckett's appearances follow the random event theory. It's just a fantastic stroke of luck - or maybe a little test to see if you've improved.

Alia:
Just tell me my mission.

Zoey:
Oh. Don't tell me, after all you've been through, that you still...

Alia:
Just tell me. I'm supposed to kill him, right? I'm supposed to blow his brains out?

Zoey:
'fraid not, darling. Seems you weren't too successful with the gun last time. Perhaps a grenade or a flamethrower?

Alia:
Zoey, just tell me!

Zoey:
Lothos hasn't decided. But whatever happens, Beckett must not know that you're here, so you may not touch him. Pity.

[the morning after "Arnold" enraged the Chi Kappas and Alia has discovered who he really is]

Mike:
What's wrong with you?

Alia:
Nothing.

Mike:
Where'd you disappear to last night? I tried to call you.

Alia:
I had a study date, or did you forget?

Mike:
No, I didn't forget. But that was before your date tried to break up our initiation.

Alia:
I know. I was there. It was hilarious watching you all plowing through the bushes looking for him, with Arnold safely curled up in my backseat.

[Mike grabs Alia]

Alia:
Get your hands off me.

Mike:
This is me, baby. Mike. Your guy.

Alia:
My ex-guy.

Mike:
Don't tell me you're hot for that wimp.

Alia:
Oh, you'd be amazed, Mike. A man's performance on the basketball court has nothing to do with his performance in bed.

Sam:
I saw you die.

Alia:
It was worse than death.

Sam:
[v.o] We had leaped together and survived, but we still didn't know if Alia had leaped with me or if I had leaped with her. And being in a women's prison didn't make finding the answer to that any easier.

Al:
I've had Dr. Beeks do a little computer research on you.

Arnold:
[looks at the handlink] Is that Dr. Beeks?

Al:
No. Dr. Beeks is a person. She's a psychologist, she works here.

Arnold:
So that's a computer.

Al:
A terminal, yeah.

Arnold:
It's amazing. The computer at the college takes up rooms and rooms.

Mike:
Congratulations, stud.

Sam:
What did I do now?

Mike:
I don't know. I don't know, Arnold. Just what did you do?

Sam:
Nothing.

Mike:
Right.

Alia:
Don't be so modest, Arnie.

Mike:
Arnie?

Sam:
Arnie?

Alia:
I'm not ashamed of what we did.

Mike:
Oh, that does it. I want you, dweebo, today at the quarry!

Sam:
Just wait a minute...

Mike:
And bring your wheels!

Sam:
If you wanna commit suicide, that's your problem.

Alia:
That's not what you said last night.

Sam:
What?

Alia:
You said that Mike and his friends were just playing a bunch of crazy kids' games, that they had no idea what real danger was like.

Mike:
I'll show you danger. The quarry, an hour!

[Mike storms out of the library]

Sam:
Dawn, what's going on?

[Sam grabs Alia, allowing the two leapers to see each others' true forms]

Sam:
My god... Alia?

Alia:
I don't have a choice, Sam.

[Sam has just fallen off the hood of a driving car]

Mike:
Just what the hell kind of stunt was that?

Sam:
I don't know.

Frank:
He must've landed on his head. Lucky it's empty.

Jack:
You know, Mike Hammond called me on the phone about ten minutes ago, and you know what he said? He said that they weren't sure that they wanted to pledge anyone with such a monumental jerk as a roommate.

Sam:
Why would you wanna pledge a fraternity that's full of idiots in the first place?

Jack:
Full of what?

Al:
You said the wrong thing, Sam. His dad was a Chi Kappa Delta idiot, and his granddad, and his great-granddad was a founding idiot.

Arnold:
I'm talking about Michael of the Chi Kappas.

Al:
Don't worry about him. He's taken care of.

Arnold:
I believe you. You have the light of truth in your eyes.

Al:
My ex-wives'd never say that.

Al:
Now what're you doing?

Sam:
Got work to do.

Al:
What are you doin' with that stupid hat on?

Sam:
My mission.

Al:
Your mission?

Sam:
Remember?

Al:
Mission? What about the odds?

Sam:
The Midnight Marauder scoffs at the odds!

[Al is giving Sam the rundown on the woman Alia has leaped into; Sam passes some of the information on to Alia]

Al:
Angela Jenson, her nickname, 'Angel'; nineteen years old, arrested for pot- selling pot, and it was an election year. They threw the book at her.

[Sam points at himself and mouths 'Who am I?']

Al:
Hm? Oh, uh, well, uh-uh, one of the two women in the Waiting Room says her name is Liz T- Elizabeth Tate. She's in for murder. The other one is in a state of shock. -... - And, and Liz, uh, says that a-after her husband beat her the fifteenth time, she shot him.

Sam:
That's not murder, that's self-defense.

Al:
That's not what the jury said.

Zoey:
I am here on borrowed time.

Thames:
You are here until you finish what you are supposed to do.

Zoey:
I have a 48-hour window after my first leap to get home. After that, with every leap, the percentage drops!

Al:
We got problems, Sam. Get this: Ziggy says there's another leaper.

Sam:
Well, she's just picking up Alia.

Al:
No, she already counted her.

Sam:
You don't think they sent another leaper, do you?

Al:
I don't know. Ziggy says that you gotta make sure you discover them before they discover you and certainly before they discover her.

Zoey:
You know, Thames, this is the perfect place for revenge.

Thames:
Other than a 12th Century torture chamber with iron maidens and a few racks, it runs a close second. But you know, I wouldn't put it past you to call Torture Chambers-R-Us and ask for an immediate installation.

[in the Waiting Room, Liz is trying to comfort a nearly catatonic Angel]

Al:
The more information you can give me, the... the sooner you'll get outta here.

Liz:
I still don't know where 'here' is. And maybe, just maybe, being here is a hell of a lot better than being where I was.

Al:
Uh, well, uh... like I said, we call this the Waiting Room.

Liz:
'The Waiting Room' doesn't tell me chip! Especially, when we've just come from being locked up in some black hole, and I don't remember why I was there.

Al:
Well, try and remember and I can help you.

Liz:
[re Angel] Tell me what's wrong with her. Why is she like that?

Al:
Er, oh, that's- it's just a by-product of what brought you here. But as soon as she gets back to her own time, she'll be fine and so will you. But now, I need for you to tell me what happened to Carol Benning. You gotta remember.

Liz:
Carol Benning? I can't even remember my own last name. How do you expect me to remember who killed Carol Benning?

Al:
Well, see, you remember that she was killed.

[Sam has told Vivian the truth about himself, Alia and Zoey traveling in time]

Vivian:
This better be a flashback of some drug I did in the '60s.

Sam:
[trying to hypnotize Alia] You're standing on the top of a mountain, looking out. Can you see yourself there?

Alia:
Mm-hmm.

Sam:
All right. You're looking up, at a yellow sun, in the middle of a dark, dark blue sky. A warm summer breeze... blows across your face. White clouds streak across the dark blue sky. What do you see there?

Alia:
Only clouds. White clouds.

Sam:
Yes.

Alia:
And miles and miles of sky.

Sam:
That's good.

Alia:
It's almost as if I'm...

Al:
[in a trance] Dark blue sky. Clouds...

Sam:
Al.

Al:
Clouds...

Sam:
Al, where are you?

Al:
Vegas.

Sam:
[subtly clapping his hands] Al!

Al:
[wakes up] Oh, uh, Mallard Correctional Facility.

Zoey:
I want Alia. And I don't want anything to happen to her before I get a chance to rip her head off.

Thames:
[of Alia] Well, she should've been terminated years ago.

Zoey:
The pleasure's now mine.

Thames:
All systems are on full power. It's only a matter of time. Unless, of course, she finds you first.

[Zoey smashes her glass against the wall]

Zoey:
You just make sure that doesn't happen.

Alia:
Sam? Sam! Sam...

Sophie:
Sam? If you're yellin' for a three-letter savior, I suggest you make it start with a 'G'.

[Vivian is helping Sam and Alia escape]

Alia:
Why are you doing this?

Sam:
Does it matter?

Alia:
Yes. I wanna know why some people help other people.

Vivian:
'cause all my life, I never did anything really special. And if one tenth of what you've said is true, then this is special. For once, I wanna be the good guy.

[last lines]

Sam:
Everything's gonna be all right. Just trust me.

Vivian:
What about your friend?

[... ]

Sam:
She's gone, Vivian. We did it. And you got to be one of the good guys. Thanks.

Rick Upfield:
[By telephone] I really need to speak to you.

Dr. Sam Beckett:
[as Roberto] Okay. Uh, 9:00 tonight at the Lost Dolphin.