Scream

Tatum:
You're not going to pee alone any more. If you pee, I pee. Is that clear?

Sidney Prescott:
You sick f***s, you've seen one too many movies!

Billy:
Now Sid, don't you blame the movies, movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative!

Tatum:
"I'll send you a copy." BAM! B*tch went down. "I'll send you a copy." BAM! Syd! Superbitch!

Casey:
Who's there?

Ghostface:
Never say who's there? Don't you watch scary movies? It's a death wish. You might as well come out to investigate a strange noise or something.

Randy:
Listen up. They found Mr. Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung from the goal post on the football field.

Stu:
When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts? I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts.

Gale:
Jesus, the camera, hurry!

Kenny:
My name isn't Jesus.

Gale:
Look, Kenny, I know you're about fifty pounds overweight, but when I say hurry, please interpret that as MOVE YOUR FAT TUB OF LARD ASS NOW!

Reporter:
Sidney, how does it feel to be almost brutally butchered? How does it feel? People have a right to know!

Tatum:
Stupidity Leak!

Tatum:
Billy and his penis don't deserve you.

Gale:
If I'm right about this, I could save a man's life. Do you know what that would do for my book sales?

Tatum:
Who am I? The beer wench?

Randy:
If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?

Stu:
As if, that's all I'm saying, as if.

Randy:
Oh really Alicia?

Casey:
Look, I am two seconds away from calling the police!

Phone Voice:
They'll never make it in time.

Sidney Prescott:
F*** you.

Billy:
We've already played that game, remember? You lost.

Sidney Prescott:
How do you - gut someone?

Stu:
You take a knife and split 'em from groin to sternum.

Billy:
It's called tact you f***rag!

Billy:
It's called subtlety, Stu. You should look it up sometime.

Sidney Prescott:
But this is NOT a movie.

Billy:
Yes it is, Sidney. It's all one big movie.

Randy:
Now that Billy tried to mutilate her, do you think Sidney would go out with me?

Tatum:
Oh, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!

Stu:
I will totally protect you. Yo, I am so buff, I got you covered, girl.

Sidney Prescott:
Stu, Stu, what's your motive? Billy's got one, the police are on their way, what are you gonna tell them?

Stu:
Peer pressure, I'm far too sensitive.

Sidney Prescott:
I wish I could be a Meg Ryan movie. Or at least a good porno.

Stu:
Did you really call the cops?

Sidney Prescott:
You bet your sorry ass I did.

Stu:
My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!

Tatum:
Just think, if they make a movie about all this, who would play you?

Deputy Dwight "Dewey" Riley:
I see you as a young Meg Ryan, myself.

Sidney Prescott:
Thanks, Dewey, but with my luck I'd get Tori Spelling.

Randy:
I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin!

Phone Voice:
What's your favorite scary movie?

Sidney:
Oh, come on, you know I don't watch that sh*t.

Phone Voice:
Why not? Too scary?

Sidney:
No, no. It's just what's the point? They're all the same; some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can't act who's always running up the stairs when she should be going out the front door. It's insulting.

Randy:
It's the millennium, motives are incidental.

Billy:
Life is like a movie. Only you can't pick your genre.

Randy:
There's always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.

Principal Himbry:
You make me so sick. Your entire havoc-inducing, thieving, whoring generation disgusts me.

Girl in Bathroom:
Think about it... her mothers death leaves her disturbed and hostile in a cruel and inhumane world. She's delusional, fears God, etc. She wants to kill her self, but then she realizes that teen suicide is out this year, and homicide is a much healthier therapeutic expression.

Cheerleader in Bathroom:
Where do you get this sh*t?

Girl in Bathroom:
Ricky Lake.

Casey:
Listen, a**hole!

Phone Voice:
No, you listen, you little b*tch! You hang up on me again, I'll gut you like a fish, understand? Can you handle that... Blondie?

Phone Voice:
Okay, answer this question, you live. Who was the killer in Friday the 13th?

Casey:
Jason! It was Jason!

Phone Voice:
Nope.

Casey:
Yes it was! I've seen that movie 20 goddam times!

Phone Voice:
Then you should know that the killer was Mrs. Voorhees, Jason never appeared until the sequel!

Billy:
That woman was a slut-bag whore who flashed her sh*t all over town like she was Sharon Stone or something.

Randy:
There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to survive a horror movie. First, you can never have sex.

Randy:
Second, you can never drink or do drugs.

Randy:
BIG NO NO. It's a sin. It's an extension of number 1. And last, you can never, ever, ever under any circumstances say "I'll be right back," 'Cause you won't be back.

Stu:
I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?

Randy:
Yeah, sure.

Stu:
I'll be right back.

Randy:
See, you stretch the rules and you end up dead. I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.

Randy:
The police are always off track with this sh*t! If they'd watch Prom Night, they'd save time! There's a formula to it. A very simple formula!

Randy:
EVERYBODY'S A SUSPECT!

Gale Weather:
Kenny, I'm sorry you're dead, but

Gale Weather:
get the f*** off of my windshield!

Gale:
Guess I remembered the safety that time, bastard.

Stu:
I always had a thing for ya Sid!

Sidney Prescott:
In your dreams!

Billy:
You're slut mother was f***ing my father... is that motive enough for you?

Billy:
Your slut mother was f***ing my father. She's the reason my mom moved out and abandoned me... how's that for a motive?

Billy:
You hear that Stu? I think she wants a motive. Well I don't really belive in motives Sid, I mean did Norman Bates have a motive?

Stu:
No.

Billy:
Did we ever find out why Hannibal Lector liked to eat people? DON'T THINK SO. See it's a lot scarier when there's no motive.

Stu:
See it's a fun game Sidney. We ask you questions and if you get one wrong, BOO-GAH, you die.

Billy:
You get one right, you die.

Stu:
And let's face it Sidney, your mother was no Sharon Stone.

Ghostface:
What's your favorite scary movie?

Tatum:
Cut Casper, that's a wrap!

[first lines; phone rings]

Casey Becker:
[picks up phone] Hello?

Phone Voice:
Hello?

Casey Becker:
Yes?

Phone Voice:
Who is this?

Casey Becker:
Um…who are you trying to reach?

Phone Voice:
What number is this?

Casey Becker:
What number are you trying to reach?

Phone Voice:
I don't know.

Casey Becker:
Well? I think you have a wrong number.

Phone Voice:
Do I?

Casey Becker:
It happens. Take it easy. [hangs up, goes to kitchen; phone rings again; Casey picks it up] Hello?

Phone Voice:
I'm sorry. I guess I dialed the wrong number.

Casey Becker:
So why'd you dial it again?

Phone Voice:
To apologize.

Casey Becker:
You're forgiven. Bye now.

Phone Voice:
Wait! Wait. Don't hang up.

Casey Becker:
What?

Phone Voice:
I wanna talk to you for a second.

Casey Becker:
They've got 900 numbers for that. See ya. [hangs up. Goes to the kitchen, turns on a burner, and prepares to cook up Jiffy Pop popcorn. The phone rings a third time] Ugh. [picks up phone] Hello?

Phone Voice:
Why don't you want to talk to me?

Casey Becker:
Who is this?

Phone Voice:
You tell me your name, I'll tell you mine.

Casey Becker:
I don't think so. [shakes the Jiffy Pop]

Phone Voice:
What's that noise?

Casey Becker:
Popcorn.

Phone Voice:
You're making popcorn?

Casey Becker:
Uh-huh.

Phone Voice:
I only eat popcorn at the movies.

Casey Becker:
Well, I'm getting ready to watch a video.

Phone Voice:
Really? What?

Casey Becker:
Oh, just some scary movie.

Phone Voice:
You like scary movies?

Casey Becker:
Uh-huh.

Phone Voice:
What's your favorite scary movie?

Casey Becker Uh, I don't know.

Phone Voice:
You have to have a favorite. What comes to mind?

Casey Becker:
Um, Halloween. [pulls out knife] You know, the one with the guy in the white mask who walks around and stalks baby-sitters. [puts back knife]

Phone Voice:
Yeah.

Casey Becker:
What's yours?

Phone Voice:
Guess.

Casey Becker:
Um, Nightmare on Elm Street. [picks up VHS tapes]

Phone Voice:
Is that the one where the guy had knives for fingers?

Casey Becker:
Yeah, Freddy Krueger.

Phone Voice:
Freddy, that's right. I liked that movie. It was scary.

Casey Becker:
[locks door] Well, the first one was, but the rest sucked. [goes to living room]

Phone Voice:
So, you got a boyfriend?

Casey Becker:
Why? You wanna ask me out on a date?

Phone Voice:
Maybe. Do you have a boyfriend?

Casey Becker:
No.

Phone Voice:
You never told me your name.

Casey Becker:
Why do you want to know my name?

Phone Voice:
'Cause I want to know who I'm looking at.

Casey Becker:
[eyes widen in horror] What did you say?

Phone Voice:
I want to know who I'm talking to.

Casey Becker:
That's not what you said.

Phone Voice:
What do you think I said? [Casey checks outside] What? Hello?

Casey Becker:
Look, I gotta go.

Phone Voice:
Wait! I thought we were gonna go out.

Casey Becker:
Uh, nah, I don't think so. [locks door]

Phone Voice:
Don't hang up on me! [Casey hangs up]

[phone rings a fourth time]

Casey Becker:
Sh*t. [picks up phone] Yes?

Phone Voice:
[in a threatening tone] I told you not to hang up on me.

Casey Becker:
What do you want?

Phone Voice:
To talk.

Casey Becker:
Well...dial someone else, okay? [hangs up]

[phone rings a fifth time]

Casey Becker:
[picks up phone annoyed] Listen, a**hole!

Phone Voice:
No, you listen, you little b*tch! You hang up on me again, I'll gut you like a fish, understand?! [chuckles] Yeah.

Casey Becker:
Is this some kind of joke?

Phone Voice:
More of a game, really. Can you handle that, Blondie? [Casey rushes to lock two doors, looks out the front door] Can you see me?

Casey Becker:
Listen. I am two seconds away from calling the police.

Phone Voice:
They'd never make it in time. We're out in the middle of nowhere.

Casey Becker:
What do you want?

Phone Voice:
To see what your insides look like. [Casey begins crying, hangs up phone]

[doorbell rings twice]

Casey Becker:
Aah! Who's there?! Who's there? I'm calling the police! [phone rings; Casey jumps with horror, picks it up]

Phone Voice:
You should never say "Who's there?". Don't you watch scary movies? It's a death wish! You might as well just come out here to investigate a strange noise or something.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] Look, you've had your fun now, so I think you better just leave or else...

Phone Voice:
Or else what?

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] Or else my boyfriend will be here any minute, and he'll be pissed when he finds out.

Phone Voice:
I thought you didn't have a boyfriend.

Casey Becker:
I lied! I do have a boyfriend and he'll be here any second, so your ass better be gone.

Phone Voice:
[sarcastically] Sure.

Casey Becker:
I swear! [angrily] He's big and he plays football, and he'll kick the sh*t out of you!

Phone Voice:
[false terror] I'm getting scared! Shakin' in my boots.

Casey Becker:
[terrified sobbing] So you better just leave...

Phone Voice:
His name wouldn't be Steve, would it?

Casey Becker:
[eyes widen in shock] How do you know his name?

Phone Voice:
Turn on the patio lights...again.

Casey Becker:
[turns on patio light, scared; looks outside, sees Steve tied in a chair, his mouth taped] Oh, God! [unlocks and opens door]

Phone Voice:
I wouldn't do that if I were you!

Casey Becker:
[closes and locks door in fear] [scared crying] Where are you? Where are you?

Phone Voice:
Guess.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] Please don't hurt him.

Phone Voice:
That all depends on you.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] Why are you doing this?

Phone Voice:
I wanna play a game.

Casey Becker:
[crying] No.

Phone Voice:
Then he dies right now!

Casey Becker:
[screaming and crying] No!! No!

Phone Voice:
Which is it? [serious tone] Which is it?

Casey Becker:
[crying] Well...what kind of a game?

Phone Voice:
Turn off the light. You'll see what kind of game. Just do it!  [Casey walks to light switch]

Steve Orth:
[muffled] No, Casey! No! No! [Casey switch lights off] No! Casey!!

Phone Voice:
Here's how we play: I ask a question. If you get it right, Steve lives.

Casey Becker [unplugs television] [sobbing] Please don't do this.

Phone Voice:
Come on, it'll be fun.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] Please.

Phone Voice:
It's an easy category.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] Please.

Phone Voice:
Movie trivia. I'll even give you a warm-up question.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] Don't do this. I can't.

Phone Voice:
Name the killer in Halloween.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] No.

Phone Voice:
Come on, it's your favorite scary movie, remember? He had a white mask. He stalked the baby-sitters.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] I don't know.

Phone Voice:
Come on. Yes, you do.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] No, please.

Phone Voice:
What's his name?

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] I-I can't think.

Phone Voice:
Steve's counting on you.

Casey Becker:
[stops sobbing] Michael-- Michael Myers.

Phone Voice:
Yes! Very good! Now for the real question.

Casey Becker:
No!

Phone Voice:
But you're doing so well. We can't stop now.

Casey Becker:
Please stop! Leave us alone!

Phone Voice:
Then answer the question. Same category.

Casey Becker:
Oh, please stop.

Phone Voice:
Name the killer in Friday the 13th.

Casey Becker:
Jason! Jason! Jason!

Phone Voice:
I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer!

Casey Becker:
No, it's not! No, it's not. It was Jason.

Phone Voice:
Afraid not. No way.

Casey Becker:
Listen, it was Jason! I saw that movie twenty Goddamn times!

Phone Voice:
Then you should know Jason's mother, Mrs. Voorhees, was the original killer! Jason didn't show up until the sequel. I'm afraid that was a wrong answer.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] You tricked me.

Phone Voice:
Lucky for you, there's a bonus round. But poor Steve, I'm afraid, he's out!

[Steve dies]

Phone Voice:
[laughs evilly] Hey, we're not finished yet. Final question. Are you ready?

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] Please, please, leave me alone.

Phone Voice:
Answer the question and I will. What door am I at?

Casey Becker:
What?

Phone Voice:
There are two main doors to your house. The front door and the patio doors. If you answer correctly, you live. Very simple.

Casey Becker:
[sobbing] Don't do this. I can't, I won't.

Phone Voice:
Your call. [window smashes]

Sidney Prescott:
[answering the phone] Tatum, just get in the car--

Phone Voice:
Hello, Sidney.

Sidney Prescott:
Uh, hi. Who is this?

Phone Voice:
You tell me.

Sidney Prescott:
Well, I have no idea.

Phone Voice:
Scary night, isn't it? With the murders and all, it's like right out of a horror movie or something.

Sidney Prescott:
[chuckles] Randy, you gave yourself away. Are you calling from work? 'Cause Tatum's on her way over.

Phone Voice:
Do you like scary movies, Sidney?

Sidney Prescott:
I like that thing you're doing with your voice, Randy. It's sexy.

Phone Voice:
What's your favorite scary movie?

Sidney Prescott:
Oh, come on. You know I don't watch that sh*t.

Phone Voice:
Why not? Too scared?

Sidney Prescott:
No, no. It's just, what's the point? They're all the same. Some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can't act, who's always running up the stairs when she should be going out the front door. It's insulting.

Phone Voice:
Are you alone in the house?

Sidney Prescott:
Randy, that's so unoriginal. I'm disappointed in you.

Phone Voice:
Maybe that's because I'm not Randy.

Sidney Prescott:
[eyes widen] So, who are you?

Phone Voice:
The question isn't "Who am I?". The question is, "Where am I?"

Sidney Prescott:
S-s-so, where are you?

Phone Voice:
Your front porch.

Sidney Prescott:
Why would you be calling from my front porch?

Phone Voice:
That's the original part.

Sidney Prescott:
[checks front porch; no one seems to be there] Oh, yeah?  Well, I call your bluff. [goes outside, looks around, sees no one] So where are you?

Phone Voice:
Right here.

Sidney Prescott:
[looks around, sees no one] Can you see me right now?

Phone Voice:
Uh-huh.

Sidney Prescott:
Uh-huh, okay.[picks nose] What am I doing? Huh? What am I doing? Hello? [laughs] Nice try, Randy. Tell Tatum to hurry up, okay? Bye, now.

Phone Voice:
If you hang up on me, you'll die just like your mother! [Sidney's eyes widen in horror] Do you wanna die, Sidney? Your mother sure didn't.

Sidney Prescott:
F*** you, you cretin!

Gale Weathers:
Isn't there a back way out of this building?

Kenny:
Yeah. Down that alley, I think. [he and Gale try to look for Sidney]

[Dewey, Sidney and Tatum exit the police station]

Deputy Dewey Riley:
You guys just stay here. I'm gonna get the car. Don't move. Don't make a sound.

[Dewey quickly goes to police car; Tatum comforts Sidney]

Gale Weathers:
There she is. [she and Kenny appear to Sidney and Tatum] Sidney Hi. That was some night. What happened? Are you all right?

Tatum Riley:
[backs away the microphone] She's not answering any questions, all right? Just leave us alone.

Sidney Prescott:
No. No. Tatum. It's okay. [starts to smile] She's just doin' her job. Right, Gale?

Gale Weathers:
Yes, that's right.

Sidney Prescott:
So, how's the book?

Gale Weathers:
Well, it'll be out later this year.

Sidney Prescott:
Oh, I'll look for it. [turns around to get in car]

Gale Weathers:
I'll send you a copy!

[Sidney turns around, punches Gale in face, falls backwards before Kenny catches her; Dewey exits car and sees this]

Kenny:
Jeez. Nice shot.

Gale Weathers:
B*tch!

[Dewey takes Sidney to his car; Tatum follows]

Kenny:
No, I mean, camera shot.

Deputy Dewey Riley:
[disapprovingly; to Sidney] Where'd you learn to punch like that?

Tatum Riley:
God, I loved it. "I'll send you a copy--" Bam! B*tch went down. "I'll send you a copy--"— Bam! Sid, super-b*tch! You are so cool.

Deputy Dewey Riley:
[enters Tatum's room with bag of ice] Thought you might want some ice for that right hook. [throws bag]

Sidney Prescott:
[catches bag] Thanks.

Deputy Dewey Riley:
I'll be right next door. Try to get some sleep.

Tatum Riley:
  Yeah, yeah. [Dewey exits]

Sidney Prescott:
Hello?

Phone Voice:
Hello, Sidney.

Sidney Prescott:
[eyes widen] No!

Phone Voice:
Poor Billy-boyfriend. An innocent guy doesn't stand a chance with you.

Sidney Prescott:
Leave me alone!

Phone Voice:
Looks like you fingered the wrong guy, again.

Sidney Prescott:
Who are you?

Phone Voice:
Don't worry. You'll find out soon enough. I promise.

Stu Macher:
When do we see breasts? I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?

Randy Meeks:
Breasts? Not until Trading Places in '83. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She never showed her tits 'til she went legits.

Randy Meeks:
Stu's flipped out! He's gone mad!

Billy Loomis:
[eerily whispering] We all go a little mad sometimes. [points gun at Randy]

Sidney Prescott:
No, Billy!

Randy Meeks:
Oh, f***! [gets shot, and screams in pain. Sydney runs to Randy who moans in pain.]

Billy Loomis:
Anthony Perkins, Psycho. [tastes the fake blood] Mmm. Corn syrup. Same stuff they used for pigs' blood in Carrie.

[Sydney shakes her head in shock, turns, and runs into Stu]

Sidney Prescott:
[scared] Stu. Help me, please.

Stu Macher:
[changes his voice with the voice changer: evilly] Surprise, Sidney.

Sidney Prescott:
[pushes Stu away, trying to flee] Unh!

Stu Macher:
Ooh!

Billy Loomis:
[stops Sidney with gun] Whoa, now. Whoa. [Stu throws the voice changer to Billy] What's the matter, Sidney? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Sidney Prescott:
Why are you doing this?

Stu Macher:
It's all part of a game, Sidney.

Billy Loomis:
It's called "Guess how I'm gonna die?"!

Sidney Prescott:
F*** you!

Billy Loomis:
No, no, no, no, no. We already played that game, remember? You lost.

Stu Macher:
It's a fun game, Sidney. See, we ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, boo-kah! You die!

Billy Loomis:
You get it right, you die.

Sidney Prescott:
You're crazy, both of you.

Stu Macher:
Actually, we prefer the term "psychotic."

Sidney Prescott:
You'll never get away with this.

Billy Loomis:
Oh, no? Tell that to Cotton Weary. You wouldn't believe how easy he was to frame.

Stu Macher:
Watch a few movies, take a few notes. It was fun.

Sidney Prescott:
No!

Stu Macher:
Whoa! Where're you goin'?

Sidney Prescott:
Why? Why did you kill my mother?

Billy Loomis:
Why? Why!? Did you hear that, Stu? I think she wants a motive. Well, I don't really believe in motive, Sid. I mean, did Norman Bates have a motive?

Stu Macher:
No.

Billy Loomis:
Did they ever really decide why Hannibal Lecter liked to eat people?  Don't think so!  See, it's a lot scarier when there's no motive, Sid. We did your mom a favor, Sid. That woman was a slut-bag whore...who flashed her sh*t all over town like she was Sharon Stone or something.

Stu Macher:
Yeah, we put her out of her misery, 'cause let's face it, Sidney...your mother was no Sharon Stone, hmm?

Billy Loomis:
Is that motive enough for you? [Sydney doesn't answer] Well, how about this? Your slut mother was f***ing my father...and she's the reason my mom moved out and abandoned me. How's that for a motive? Maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. It certainly f***ed you up. It made you have sex with a psychopath.

Billy Loomis:
[after Sydney disappears] Where are they? Where are they?

Stu Macher:
[coughs] I don't know, Billy, but I'm hurtin', man.

Billy Loomis:
Where the f***--?

[phone rings]

Stu Macher:
Should I let the machine get it?

Billy Loomis:
[picks up phone] Hello?

Sidney Prescott:
[as Ghostface] Are you alone in the house?

Billy Loomis:
B*tch! You b*tch, where the f*** are you?!

Sidney Prescott:
[as Ghostface] Not so fast. We're gonna play a little game. It's called [normal voice] guess who just called the police, and reported your sorry motherfucking ass?!

Billy Loomis:
Find her, you dipshit! Get up!

Stu Macher:
I can't, Billy. You already cut me too deep. I think I'm dying here, man.

Billy Loomis:
[puts phone on Stu and whispers] Talk to her. Talk to her.

Stu Macher:
Hello?

Sidney Prescott:
Ohh, Stu, Stu, Stu. What's your motive? Billy's got one. The police are on their way. What are you gonna tell them?

Stu Macher:
Peer pressure. I'm far too sensitive.

Billy Loomis:
We'll rip you up, you b*tch, just like your f***ing mother!

Sidney Prescott:
You've gotta find me first, you pansy-ass mama's boy!

Billy Loomis:
[angrily] F***! [throws phone]

Stu Macher:
[gets hit by phone] Ow. F***in' hit me with the phone, dick!

Billy Loomis:
[smashing everything] F***er, where are you?! Aah! [rips pillow] Aah, you f***! [angrily growls]

Stu Macher:
Did you really call the police?

Sidney Prescott:
You bet your sorry ass I did.

Stu Macher:
[worried and scared; as Billy smashes everything in background] My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me.

Billy Loomis:
Aaah! B*tch!

Stu Macher:
[his last words] I always had a thing for ya, Sid! [Sidney bites Stu's wrist, and he screams in pain.] Ohhhhh, God! [Sidney hits Stu with a vase.] [dazed] B*tch!

Sydney Prescott:
In your dreams! [Stu screams as Sidney drops a TV on his face, severely electrocuting him, and killing him instantly]

Randy Meeks:
[looking at Billy's supposedly dead body] Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life, for one last scare.

[Billy wakes up to try to attack. Gale Weathers screams, but Sidney shoots Billy in the head, killing him instantly.]

Sidney Prescott:
Not in my movie.

Stu:
“You f***ing hit me with the phone, dick!”

Also Stu:
“My Mom and Dad are going to be so mad at meeeeeee.”

Sidney:
Would you settle for a PG-13 relationship?

Sidney:
I'm sorry if my traumatized life is an inconvenience to your perfect existence.

Sidney:
You sick fucks. You've seen one too many movies!

Sidney:
[when she, Tatum, and Dewey are discussing who would play her in a movie, in fact, Tori Spelling plays her character in the fictional Stab series] With my luck, I'll end up with Tori Spelling.

Sidney:
Are you alone in the house?

Sidney:
You know, if, if I was wrong about Cotton Weary, then the killer's still out there.

Sidney:
But this is life.& This isn't a movie.

Sidney:
How do you...gut someone?

Sidney:
Hello. Help me, please. I'm at Stu Macher's house on Turner Lane. It's 261. Turner Lane, please. He's gonna trying to kill me.

Stu:
[after Randy tells him to never say "be right back"] I'm getting another beer. Want one? [Randy: Yeah, sure.] I'll be right back!!

Stu:
[speaking into voice-box] Surprise, Sidney.

Stu:
Everybody dies but us. We get to carry on and plan the sequel, 'cause—let's face it, baby—these days, you gotta have a sequel.

Stu:
[after Sidney calls the police] My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!

Stu:
I can't, Billy. You cut me too deep. I think I'm dying here, man.

Stu:
[after Gale reveals that she was still alive] She looked dead, man. Still does.

Stu:
[bleeding to death and Billy throws the phone on him] Ow! F***in' hit me with the phone, dick!

Stu:
You take a knife and you slit 'em from groin to sternum.

Stu:
[after he finds that Gale has stolen the gun] Um, Houston, we have a problem!

Stu:
[after dragging out Sidney's beaten, bound, and gagged father] What's behind door number three, Sidney?

Billy:
What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not a killer?

Billy:
[after Randy says that Stu has gone completely mad] "We all go a little mad sometimes." [shoots Randy in the shoulder] Anthony Perkins, Psycho. Mmm, corn syrup: same stuff they used for pigs' blood in Carrie.

Billy:
Loose the titties.

Billy:
[after Stu tells Sidney she dies if she gets a question wrong] If you get it right, you die.

Billy:
[to Sidney] I'm going to rip you up, b*tch, just like your f***ing mother!

Billy:
[to Sidney after she says that life isn't a movie] Sure it is, Sid. It's all a movie. It's all a great big movie.  Only you can pick your genre.

Billy:
What's the matter, Sidney? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Billy:
[when Sidney asks why they're murdering people] It's all part of the game, Sidney. It's called "Guess How I'm Gonna Die?"!

Billy:
It works better without the safety on.

Billy:
This is Gale Weathers, signing off.

Billy:
[last words] Say hello to your mother! [gets poked through his umbrella stab wound and screams; almost stabs Sidney, but he gets shot in the right shoulder by Gale] [Gale: Guess I remembered the safety that time, you bastard.] [his supposed dead body is examined] [Randy: Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life for one last scare.] [wakes up to try to attack; Gale screams, but Sidney shoots him through the head] [Sidney: Not in my movie.]

Tatum:
Don't go there, Sid; you're starting to sound like some Wes Carpenter flick.

Tatum:
Oh, you wanna play psycho killer?  Okay, let's see.  [mock terror]  Oh, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface.  I wanna be in the sequel!

Tatum:
[after Gale insults Sidney and she punches her]  "I'll send you a copy"—bam!  B*tch went down!  "I'll send you a copy"—bam!  Sid, super b*tch!  You are so cool!

Tatum:
[to Dewey]  Janitor's your superior.

Randy:
There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie For instance, number one: you can never have sex.

Randy:
EVERYBODY'S A SUSPECT!!

Randy:
[after Billy reveals himself as the killer and shoots him]  Oh, f***!

Randy:
See, you push the laws and you end up dead.  Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.

Randy:
[in Jerry Lewis's voice]  Tell me something.  Did you really put her liver in the mailbox?  Because I heard they found her liver in the mailbox next to her spleen and her pancreas.

Ghostface:
I told you not to hang up on me.

Ghostface:
[Casey says she's going to call the cops]  They'd never make it in time!

Ghostface:
[after being asked what he wants]  To see what your insides look like.

Ghostface:
IF YOU HANG UP ON ME, YOU'LL DIE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!  Do you wanna die, Sidney?  Your mother sure didn't!