Shattered Innocence

Pauleen Anderson:
You said nude and semi-nude.

Pauleen Anderson:
[writing a poem] She dreams of mountains majestic and high, but she wakens to flatness beneath the sky. She reaches for something she can't explain, but they make her come in when she stands in the rain. She has hopes and wishes, she asks, she tries. But when she's alone she cries, she cries. She dreams of mountains she does not know. She needs to see them, she has to go.

[last lines]

Sharon:
[crying] Who did this to you? Pauleen? Pauleen! Why?

Pauleen Anderson:
[after letting him in] What are you doing here?

Phil:
Uh, Mel called me. He wanted me to make sure you got away alright.

Pauleen Anderson:
[half-sarcastically] You drove out all the way from L.A. to make sure I got away alright? Got away how?

Phil:
He was worried about you...

Pauleen Anderson:
[grows angry] He thought I was gonna rip him off.

Phil:
Aw, come on, you know better than that!

Pauleen Anderson:
[loses it] Then why are you here, Phil? To help me carry out my two suitcases? That's all I have, you know, is two suitcases! What am I gonna steal from him? His microwave - I could carry that out - maybe his pool table! How about his rubber checkbook? WHAT the hell could I take out of here that will bounce or break my BACK!

[Phil somehow does not answer]

Pauleen Anderson:
What a wonderful relationship, Phil! It's the story of my LIFE!

[after Pauleen runs off]

Sharon:
What's wrong with her?

Del:
She's growing up.

Sharon:
[worried] She's growing away.

[after Pauleen felt uncomfortable from being admired by fans in the store]

Danny:
Oh, they're your fans, honey, they love you. But it's not you, remember? It's Lara Dawn.

Pauleen Anderson:
[cries in anger] It is me! It was me out there and it's me in those films!

[she runs off in tears]

Pauleen Anderson:
You better get used to me being naked, because I'm gonna be on the January issue of Penthouse!

[Cory is enraged after seeing Pauleen's nude photos]

Pauleen Anderson:
Why are you being like this?

Cory Parker:
What in the hell do you think you're doing - porno? You're doing porno?

Pauleen Anderson:
I'm doing modeling!

Cory Parker:
'Modeling'? Modeling what? You were bare-naked! Jeez, I thought your modeling goes to Sears; something like that!

Patricia:
I saw your pictures.

Pauleen Anderson:
What pictures?

Patricia:
In a magazine. They were circulating all over school. I handled it okay, I guess, but Lisa and Ann had a rough time. They got mad and Pat made it worse.

Pauleen Anderson:
But you didn't get mad?

Patricia:
I didn't show it.

Pauleen Anderson:
But you were?

Patricia:
[furiously] Of course I was! Wouldn't you be mad if a bunch of guys were doing obscene things to pictures of me?

Susan:
[angry at Pauleen for being late six times] Maybe you think because your father's a supervisor, you can do what you want. Well, I have been at this job for 14 years, and we're gonna see who they're gonna listen to! I'm talking to Mary about this.

[after Pauleen gets out of the shower after her first adult movie]

Pauleen Anderson:
Did you enjoy it when you did it?

Nora:
I enjoy sex.

Pauleen Anderson:
I don't much. Not even with Brad... or Cory.

[she sips her drink and goes furious]

Pauleen Anderson:
I deserved every penny of that money.

[Pauleen meets with Brad in a disappointed manner]

Pauleen Anderson:
Why didn't you return my calls?

Brad Pullman:
[knowing that Pauleen did a porn film] We don't have anything to talk about.

Pauleen Anderson:
What do you mean?

Brad Pullman:
Did you think I wouldn't find out about the loops? There's a boutique business in a small town, Pauleen. Nothing gets done without it being out there for everybody to see.

Pauleen Anderson:
I needed the money.

Brad Pullman:
Okay, enjoy it.

Pauleen Anderson:
I thought you were too mature to be jealous!

Brad Pullman:
Jealous? Don't flatter yourself. There's a difference between nudity and nakedness, there's a difference between sexuality and sex, and there's a difference between art and pornography. I do art.

Pauleen Anderson:
[angry] Don't flatter yourself!

[Pauleen leaves never to see Brad again]

Roy:
[while filming a adult film with Pauleen] Don't overdo it. Not too much fear. He's standing there naked. I don't wanna rape; I wanna seduction.

Vince:
[Pauleen's adult movie] I need to talk to you. I have very special needs. So I need a very special mate. Have you ever taken care of special needs before?

Pauleen Anderson:
Yes, sir. My last employer had three sons, and I had to take care of every single one of them.

Vince:
I bet you did.

Cory Parker:
[as Pauleen dumps him] You dumb broad! You're just gonna get sweet-talked out of your pants with every guy that comes along!

Pauleen Anderson:
[offensively slams the car door, yells] Get out of here!

Cory Parker:
Don't be stupid! Get in the car!

Pauleen Anderson:
[screams] GET OUT!

[Cory drives away furiously never to see her again]

Carolyn:
[seeing that Pauleen is nervous doing a pornography loop] Listen, I know you're scared. I was the first time, too.

Pauleen Anderson:
[voice breaking] I feel nauseous.

Carolyn:
[give her a vial filled with cocaine] You wanna try some of this?

Pauleen Anderson:
[takes it] Thanks.

Sharon:
[after Pauleen moved away to Nora's] We should never have given her an ultimatum.

Del:
What could we could, Sharon? Ground her? We don't have that power anymore.

Sharon:
God only knows where she is and what she's doing.

Del:
She's alright. It's, uh, it's a phase.

Sharon:
Oh, Lord, it's not a phase. She's not putting glitter on her fingernails and dyeing her hair green; she's taking her clothes off. You can't dismiss that.

Del:
I'm not trying to dismiss it; I'm trying to be realistic.

Sharon:
Realistic? Driving her away is no more realistic than walking away.

Del:
I did what I thought was right.

Sharon:
I know you did.

Del:
Then why try and make me feel guilty about it?

Sharon:
[exhales] I'm sorry.

Del:
[chuckles] I know Pauleen. She'll get homesick real fast.

Sharon:
You want to talk realistic? Del, you don't know Pauleen. For the first ten years of her life, you were not home to get to know her.

[Del trys to answer]

Sharon:
And then when you came home to work, you didn't get to know her - you were never around. She's still a little girl with stars in her eyes to you. But she's not; she's grown up and she's grown away, and she's stubborn when she gets an idea in her head. Nothing can shake it. She can find all kinds of justifications, even if she has to manufacture them. And that scares me, and that's your reality.

[Pauleen is enraged with her mother for not letting her see someone]

Sharon:
Pauleen, now you got to understand something: these things you've done, they just don't disappear because you want them to. I mean, the pictures are still around, and even if they weren't, people don't forget so quickly.

Pauleen Anderson:
[sobs] You mean you don't? You were embarrassed to be seen of me!

Sharon:
That is not true!

Pauleen Anderson:
Yes it is, and you know it! I'm an embarrassment to you, to this family, and this entire town!

[Pauleen runs off in tears]

Mel Erman:
You okay?

Pauleen Anderson:
[cover her nose] Oh, I fine. Just a nosebleed. Dr. Packett says there's allergies. The desert air dries up my membranes.

Mel Erman:
[nods disapprovingly] I'm closing the cupboard.

[Pauleen looks at him in shock]

Mel Erman:
No more coke for you.

Pauleen Anderson:
It's the desert air!

Mel Erman:
You think you're talking to some farmer on the back forty? You burned a hole in your nose.

Pauleen Anderson:
I don't do that much!

Mel Erman:
I'm cutting you off.

Pauleen Anderson:
Mel, that is not fair!

Mel Erman:
It's the best I can do.

Pauleen Anderson:
[attempts to leave] Fine! I'll just move the hell out of here!

Mel Erman:
And do what, go back to pornos? That's what you wanna do with your life, go ahead. Do it.

Sharon:
[Knocks on Pauline's bedroom door] It's me.

Pauleen Anderson:
Uh, just a sec. [Puts on her socks] I'm decent.

Danny:
I want to put you into adult films.

Pauleen Anderson:
Porno?

Danny:
Crap is porno. I'm talking adult. I'm talking about written scripts, full-length feature films for home video and theater.

Pauleen Anderson:
Hardcore?

Danny:
You don't want to be a star?

Pauleen Anderson:
Only sickos in porn shops see loops. On a movie screen? I've got family back in Kansas.

Danny:
Does your family go to adult films?

Mel Erman:
[on the phone with Pauleen for the last time] What are you gonna do in L.A.?

Pauleen Anderson:
[miserably] I'm... gonna start a new movie in two days.

Mel Erman:
Aw, Jeez, don't do that.

Pauleen Anderson:
I have to. I have to make a living.

Mel Erman:
Don't, Pauleen, you're past that!

Pauleen Anderson:
I wish - Goodbye, Mel.

[hangs up]

Dave:
[sees Pauleen with her arms folded to her vest] Now, I know this is your first time, but if you keep folding your arms up like that, we're all gonna be late for dinner.

Pauleen Anderson:
[nervously] Mr. Gates said I could so semi-nude.

Dave:
Sure, sure, but right now, you're not wearing much less than they do on Rodeo Drive at high noon.