Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes is a 2009 film that follows the famous detective and his faithful friend Watson as they go up against the nefarious Lord Blackwood and try to demystify his supposed resurrection, all while handling the distractions of an occult group in London, the infamous Irene Adler, and Watson's impending marriage to his dear Mary.

Director(s): Guy Ritchie
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures/Village Roadshow
  Nominated for 2 Oscars. Another 10 wins & 27 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Nothing Escapes Him
Crime Will Pay
Dangerously Alluring
Depraved Adversary
Holmes for the Holiday.

[Holmes & Watson are searching Luke Reordan's apartment]

Sherlock Holmes:
There's one odour I can't put my finger on. Is it candy floss, molasses…? Ah! Barley sugar. [Watson turns around to see two of Blackwood's henchmen enter, one holding a …]

John Watson:
Toffee apple.

Sherlock Holmes:
[eyes the second thug's gasoline can] Let me guess … judging by your arsonist's tool kit, you're here to burn down the building, and extinguish all evidence therein.

First Thug:
Just one minute, boys! [calls] Oh, Dredger!

[Dredger enters, Holmes and Watson look up … and up]

Il y a un problème? ["Is there a problem?"]

Sherlock Holmes:
[pointing his cane to Dredger and then to the thugs] Meat … or potatoes?

John Watson:
My ten minutes are up.

[The three thugs attack them; Watson takes on the two short thugs while Holmes engages Dredger; Dredger grabs Holmes by the neck and throws him across a table into a wall; after this, Holmes staggers to his feet]

Sherlock Holmes:
Un moment, s'il vous plaît … ["One moment, please."]

Je ne suis pas pressé. ["I'm in no hurry."]

[Holmes whacks Dredger with a pipe until he accidentally strikes a column; Holmes manages to grab an odd copper wand-like object; when he puts the tips to Dredger's chest, it sends Dredger flying backwards and straight through a wall; Holmes gets to his feet, and after recharging the taser-wand, he hears sounds from behind the wall; eventually, we hear a few crashes, and Dredger shoves open two other doors, carrying a small knife]

[rising unsteadily to his feet] Un moment, s'il vous plaît … ["One moment, please …"]

[Holmes uses the taser to send an electric shock through a pipe to a knife that Dredger is holding, causing him to go flying backwards against the thug that is holding Watson at knifepoint, crushing the thug; Holmes then blows out a bit of smoke from the taser]

John Watson:
[in surprise] Holmes, what is that?

Sherlock Holmes:
Je ne sais pas. ["I don't know."]

[In a bare-knuckle boxing match, Holmes sees Irene and tries to forfeit and leave]

Sherlock Holmes:
That's it, big man. You've won, congratulations.

Oi, we ain't done yet!

[McMurdo spits at the back of Holmes's head. Holmes stops]

Sherlock Holmes:
[voice-over] This mustn't register on an emotional level … [in slow motion] First, distract target … [Holmes flicks a handkerchief in front of his opponent's face] Then block his blind jab, counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate. [Holmes claps his hands over his opponent's ears] Dazed, will attempt wild haymaker. Employ elbow block, and body shot. [blocks with his elbow and delivers a body blow] Block feral left, weaken right jaw, now fracture. [a cross to the jaw fractures the bone] Break cracked ribs, traumatize solar plexus, dislocate jaw entirely. [two more body blows, and a right hook to the jaw hinge] Heel kick to diaphragm … [a heel kick to the opponent's chest sends him crashing out of the ring] In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm hemorrhaging. Physical recovery: six weeks. Full psychological recovery: six months. Capacity to spit at back of head: neutralized. [Back in real time, Holmes picks up the handkerchief, as though wiping the back of his neck, then proceeds to do all of the foregoing in approximately six seconds, and kicks McMurdo out of the ring, before calmly walking away]

Where did that come from?! [Those who place their bets realize that they've lost their money]

Dr. John Watson:
What were you doing [out there]?

Sherlock Holmes:
Will you allow me to explain?

Dr. John Watson:
I wish you would.

[Cuts back to when Irene Adler left the room. Holmes pretends to strum chords on his violin. As soon as Irene closes the door behind her, Holmes races over to the window and arrives in time to see her exiting the building. He runs back to the door. Watson is coming upstairs when Holmes comes running downstairs, and he opens the window at the midway landing]

Dr. John Watson:
Holmes, what are you doing?

Sherlock Holmes:

Dr. John Watson:
Are you wearing a …

Sherlock Holmes:
… false nose? No.

Dr. John Watson:
[as Holmes steals his coat] Tell me that that wasn't … [before he can say "Irene Adler," Holmes jumps out the window and lands on a dumpster] Holmes, where are you going? [Holmes jumps onto another dumpster that is much lighter and the roof collapses under his weight.]

Sherlock Holmes:
Watson! Uh, Watson! [Watson simply closes the window]

[Holmes makes his way up a flight of stairs and into a back street. He eventually catches up to Irene. He hides behind a stall and watches as Irene passes a man in a passageway with a bouquet of flowers]

First Man:
Got some flowers for you, sweetheart. Cut you a deal 'cause you're so pretty.

Irene Adler:
Oh! My lucky day!

Second Man:
[comes up behind Irene and sniffs the flowers] Have you got something else for me?

[Irene promptly pulls out a cane and strikes the second thug across the face, and takes the first man hostage at knifepoint]

Irene Adler:
Don't move! [she lowers the knife blade a bit and searches the man's pockets] Now what have we got here? Oh! [She takes the man's wallet, and the flower bouquet] Thank you.

Sherlock Holmes:
That's the Irene I know. [He continues to follow Irene, passing through a small circus. He follows her through a small dressing tent, swiping some items to add to his disguise. Irene momentarily turns around, and does not notice that standing behind a performer carrying a weight is Holmes, wearing a top hat, a scarf, and an eyepatch over his left eye. As soon as she turns away, Holmes emerges from hiding and continues to follow her. He intercepts the carriage as it is coming along by ramming into the side of the horse, causing it to stop. The scene then fast-forwards through Holmes being yelled at by the driver and being scared off by the employer's wrist-mounted pistol and cuts to Holmes finishing his story]

Sherlock Holmes:
This man intrigues me, Watson, he's got Adler on edge.

John Watson:
Which is no mean feat.

Sherlock Holmes:
She's intimidated. She's scared of him.

John Watson:
Well she works for him.

Sherlock Holmes:

John Watson:
Well, it's nothing to do with me, but I advise you: Leave. The case. Alone.

Sherlock Holmes:
Well, I may not have a choice, hm? After all, I may be paying the rent on my own, soon. [points his violin bow at Watson] Thanks to you.

John Watson:
Get that out of my face.

Sherlock Holmes:
It's not in your face; it's in my hand.

John Watson:
Get what's in your hand out my face.

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