Slew Hampshire

Dude-Guy:
Talkin' about Africa don't make you more black.

Bro:
I was just drawing a parallel.

Dude-Guy:
OH, now you're drawin'? You an artist, too? Is that your major?

Bro:
No, it's Linguistics. What's yours?

Dude-Guy:
Gun Repair. It's a certificate course. [Buddy snickers] HEY! Some people like to shoot heroin - personally, I prefer cocaine - but I DO like to shoot guns.

Buddy:
And someday, you'll have your very own certificate that says you're qualified to repair them, too.

Officer Girth:
Gonna need you to pop the hood.

Dude-Guy:
Want me to check it out? I work at a muffler shop. I recently got promoted.

Officer Girth:
Now there's something you certainly don't read in the obits every day...

G.G.:
One gunshot from a shotgun - senseless. So how d' you make this make sense? Take your time. Time your take. Some call it mean. I call it meaningful. Take my meaning?

Bags:
I wish that owl would shut the f*ck up.

Bro:
You know what Thoreau said about owls?

Bags:
That he wished they would shut the f*ck up?

Bro:
A voice said... Look me in the stars, and tell me truly men of earth, if all the soul and body scars were not too much to pay for birth.