Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Jefferson Morales:
I love you, Miles.

Miles Morales:
Yeah, I know, Dad. See you Friday.

[as Miles turns to walk into school, Jefferson sounds his police alarm and uses his police speakers to get Miles's attention]

Jefferson:
You’ve got to say "I love you" back.

Miles:
Dad, are you serious?!

[Everyone around stops and looks at them]

Jefferson:
I want to hear it.

Miles:
You want to hear me say...

Jefferson:
"I love you, Dad".

Miles:
You’re dropping me off at school...

Jefferson:
"I love you, Dad".

Miles:
Look at this place!

Jefferson:
"Dad, I love you".

Miles:
[sighs] Dad, I love you.

Jefferson:
That's a copy.

Brooklyn Visions Security Guard:
I know you snuck out last night, Morales.

Miles:
[thinking] (Play dumb.) [out loud] Who's Morales? [thinking] (Not that dumb!)

Brooklyn Bystander:
[looking at a glitched stoplight] I think it's a Banksy.

Peter B. Parker:
What did you say your name was?

Doctor Octopus:
Dr. Olivia Octavius. [Takes off her lab coat revealing her Doctor Octopus arms]

Peter Parker:
And I assume your friends call you "Doc Ock"?

Doctor Octopus:
Actually, my friends call me "Liv". My enemies call me "Doc Ock".

Gwen Stacy:
[referring to Kingpin] What a pig.

Spider-Ham:
[glaring at Gwen offendedly] I'm right here.

Spider-Ham:
That's all folks

Peter Parker:
Is he allowed to say that? Legally?

Lyla:
You're a bit late.

Miguel O'Hara:
Can't all be everywhere at once.

Lyla:
A little text might have been nice.

Miguel:
I was gone for less than two hours. What happened?

Lyla:
Okay, okay, okay. I know what it looks like, but... here's the good news.

Miguel:
Oh, here we go.

Lyla:
The multiverse didn't collapse.

Miguel:
Oh, cool!

Lyla:
A little touch and go. It worked out.

Miguel:
Great story. Hey, did you finish the goober?

Lyla:
It's not a goober. It's a gizmo.

Miguel:
You always have to call me out? It's just really frustrating and that bums me out.

Lyla:
Don't get too excited, Miguel. It's just a prototype.

Miguel:
Not excited.

Lyla:
But you could be the first person to make an autonomous multiverse jump. Or the last.

Miguel:
Okay, so we're just... gonna roll the dice on this?

Lyla:
So what do you say, pal? Where do you want to go first?

Miguel:
Let's start at the beginning, one last time. Earth-67.

[Miguel jumps into Earth-67 and meets that universe's Spider-Man]

Miguel:
Whoa!

1967 Spider-Man:
What the–?

Miguel:
I'm Spider-Man. I need you to come with me.

'67 Spider-Man:
[pointing at Miguel] Who the heck are you?

Miguel:
[pointing back] I, I just told you. Now listen, listen. I'm from the future.

'67 Spider-Man:
[pointing back] How dare you point at me.

Miguel:
[pointing back] You, you were pointing first.

'67 Spider-Man:
[pointing back] It's rude to point.

Miguel:
[pointing back] You're being very rude! You're not even believing what I'm saying!

Police officer:
Which one pointed first?

J. Jonah Jameson:
Spider-Man pointed first. Obviously!

Miguel:
[as both Spider-Men continue to point at each other] You're pointing at me right now! Look at you! Look what you did there! Look at your finger right now!

'67 Spider-Man:
It's different than normal pointing.

Miguel:
You are pointing...

'67 Spider-Man:
You haven't seen pointing until I'm through with you.

Miguel:
You're accusing me of pointing... what are you...

[first lines]

Peter Parker / Spider-Man [narrating]:
Alright, let's do this one last time. My name is Peter Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, And for ten years, I've been the one and only Spider-Man. I’m pretty sure you know the rest.

Ben Parker:
With great power, comes great responsibility.

Peter Parker [narrating]:
I saved a bunch of people, fell in love, saved the city, and then I saved the city again, and again and again, and again. And I did, uh... I did this. [cuts to Peter doing the infamous dance from Spider-Man 3, except this time in his Spider-Man outfit] We don’t really talk about this. Look, I'm a comic book, I'm a cereal, did a Christmas album. I have an excellent theme song.

TV show:
Spider-Man, Spider-Man...

Peter Parker [narrating]:
And a... a so-so popsicle. I mean, I've looked worse. But after everything, I still love being Spider-Man. I mean, who wouldn't? So no matter how many hits I take, I always find a way to come back. Because the only thing standing between this city and oblivion is me. There's only one Spider-Man, and you're looking at him.

[Post-credit scene - a caption reads "Meanwhile, in Nueva York..." and a hologram woman appears in a darkly-lit spacious hallway]

Lyla:
You're a bit late.

Miguel O'Hara / Spider-Man 2099:
[offscreen] We can't all be everywhere at once.

Lyla:
A little text might have been nice.

Miguel O'Hara:
I was gone for less than two hours. What happened?

Lyla:
Okay, okay, okay. I know what it looks like, but... here's the good news.

Miguel:
Oh, here we go.

Lyla:
The multiverse didn't collapse.

O'Hara:
Oh, cool!

Lyla:
A little touch and go. But it worked out.

O'Hara:
Great story. Hey, did you finish the goober?

Lyla:
It's not a goober. It's a gizmo.

O'Hara:
Do you always have to call me out? It's just really frustrating and it bums me out.

Lyla:
Don't get too excited, Miguel. It's just a prototype.

O'Hara:
Not excited. [the watch attaches itself to his wrist] Ow!

Lyla:
But you could be the first person to make an autonomous multiverse jump, or the last.

O'Hara:
Okay, so we're just... gonna roll the dice on this?

Lyla:
So what do you say, pal? Where do you want to go first?

Spider-Man:

2099:
Let's start at the beginning, one last time. Earth-67. [jumps into Earth-67]

1967:
Whoa! What the…?

2099:
I'm Spider-Man. I need you to come with me.

1967:
[pointing at Miguel] Who the heck are you?

2099:
[pointing back] I-I just told you. Now listen, listen. I'm from the future.

1967:
[pointing back] How dare you point at me!

2099:
[pointing back] You-you were pointing first.

1967:
It's rude to point.

2099:
You're being very rude! You're not even believing what I'm saying! You're saying I'm not who I say I am!

[scene focuses on J. Jonah Jameson and a NYPD officer]

Police officer:
Which one pointed first?

J. Jonah Jameson:
Spider-Man pointed first. Obviously!

Spider-Man:
[continuing to point at each other]

2099:
You're pointing at me right now as you say that! Look at you! Look at your finger! Look at your finger right now!

1967:
I'm not pointing, you're pointing. I'm just pointing out your pointing. Which is different from normal pointing.

2099:
What is it doing?! You are pointing...

1967:
You haven't seen pointing until I'm through with you, and then you'll know--

2099:
YOU'RE accusing ME of pointing when you're–!!

[scene cuts suddenly to a title card reading "THE END"]

Peter Parker / Spider-Man:
Did you know your shoes are untied?

Miles Morales:
Uh-huh.

Peter Parker:
This is a onesie, so I don't really have to worry about it. [Spider-Senses are aligning with each other.] I thought I was the only one. You're like me.

Miles Morales:
I don't wanna be.

Peter Parker:
I don't think you have a choice, kiddo. Got a lot going through your head, I'm sure.

Miles Morales:
Yeah.

Peter Parker:
You're gonna be fine. I can help you. If you stick around, I can show you the ropes.

Miles Morales:
Yeah.

[Rumbling]

Peter Parker:
I just need to destroy this big machine real quick... before the space-time continuum collapses. Don't move. See you in a bit.

Miles Morales:
Hey! Are you okay?

Peter Parker / Spider-Man:
I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm just resting.

Miles Morales:
Can't you get up?

Peter Parker:
Yeah. Ha, ha. Yeah, I always get up. [coughs] The coughing's probably not a good sign.

Wilson Fisk / Kingpin:
Find him. Now.

Peter Parker:
Listen, we gotta team up here. We don't have that much time. This override key is the only way to stop the collider. Swing up there, use this key, push the button and blow it up. You need to hide your face. You don't tell anyone who you are. No one can know. He's got everyone in his pocket.

Miles Morales:
Wha–?

Peter Parker:
If he turns the machine on again, everything you know will disappear. Your family, everyone. Everyone. Promise me you'll do this.

Miles Morales:
I promise.

Peter Parker:
Go. Destroy the collider. I'll come and find you. [coughs] It's gonna be okay.

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
What was that? Kid electrocuted me– with his hands. [Spider-Man tingling] You're like me.

Miles Morales:
I got some questions.

[Peter B. struggles to break free]

Miles Morales:
Why do you look like Peter Parker?

Peter B. Parker:
Because I am Peter Parker.

Miles Morales:
Then why aren't you dead? And why is your hair different? Why are you older? And why is your body– a different shape?

Peter B. Parker:
Pretty sure you just called me fat.

Miles Morales:
No. No, just–

Peter B. Parker:
You don't look so hot either, kid. Most superheroes don't wear their own merch.

Miles Morales:
Are you a ghost?

Peter B. Parker:
No.

Miles Morales:
Are you a zombie?

Peter B. Parker:
Stop it.

Miles Morales:
Am I a zombie?

Peter B. Parker:
You're not even close.

Miles Morales:
Are you from another dimension? Like a parallel universe where things are like this universe but different? And you're Spider-Man in that universe? But somehow traveled to this universe, but you don't know how?

Peter B. Parker:
Wow. That was really just a guess?

Miles Morales:
Well– we learned about it in physics.

Peter B. Parker:
Quantum theory.

Miles Morales:
This is amazing! You can teach me like Peter said he would.

Peter B. Parker:
Before he died.

Miles Morales:
Yeah. Exactly.

Peter B. Parker:
Yeah, right.

Miles Morales:
Look, I made a promise to him.

Peter B. Parker:
Here's lesson number one, kid. Don't watch the mouth. Watch the hands.

Miles Morales:
Peter, seriously– [Thwips Miles' mouth shut]

Peter B. Parker:
Trust me, kid. This'll all make you a better Spider-Man. [Yells as he starts to glitch]

Miles Morales:
Hey, are you okay?

Peter B. Parker:
No, I'm not.

Miles Morales:
What's going on with your body?

Peter B. Parker:
I don't think my atoms are real jazzed about being in the wrong dimension. [Glitches] [Peter B. groans] Look, I'm not looking for a side gig as a Spider-Man coach. I got a lot going on in my dimension. Like a lot–

Miles Morales:
"With great power comes great–"

Peter B. Parker:
Don't you dare finish that sentence. Don't do it! I'm sick of it. [Glitches] Want my advice? Go back to being a regular kid.

Miles Morales:
I don't have a choice! Kingpin's got a supercollider. He's tryin' to kill me.

Peter B. Parker:
Wait a second. What did you just say?

Miles Morales:
Kingpin's tryin' to kill me.

Peter B. Parker:
Who cares about that. Where's the collider?

Miles Morales:
Brooklyn. Under Fisk Tower.

Peter B. Parker:
Goodbye.

Miles Morales:
Where you going?

Peter B. Parker:
When it runs again, I'll jump in and get back to my life.

Miles Morales:
You can't let them run it. I'm supposed to destroy it so it never runs again or everyone's gonna die.

Peter B. Parker:
"Or everyone's gonna die." That is what they always say. But there's always a little bit of time before everybody dies– and that's when I do my best work.

Miles Morales:
Aren't you gonna need this?

Peter B. Parker:
Aw, you have a goober. Give it.

Miles Morales:
Whoa, whoa. Wait, no. Not so fast. He called it an override key.

Peter B. Parker:
There's always a bypass key, a virus key, a who-cares key. I can never remember, so I always call it a goober. Give it.

Miles Morales:
I need it to destroy the collider.

Peter B. Parker:
I need it to go home.

Miles Morales:
No or I'll swallow it. Don't play with me.

Peter B. Parker:
What?

Miles Morales:
I said– [Thwip the goober out of his mouth] Hey!

Peter B. Parker:
The collider created a portal that brought me here. And I have to get– Did you break this?

Miles Morales:
No, it broke. I don't remember what happened.

Peter B. Parker:
See, this is why I never had kids. This is why I never did kids.

Miles Morales:
Can't we make another one?

Peter B. Parker:
No. We can't do anything. Thanks to you, I have to re-steal what your guy stole from Alchemax… and make another one of these.

Miles Morales:
If I don't turn off the collider after you leave– everyone in this city, my parents, my uncle and millions of others, will die. And you're just gonna go home and leave me here to figure this out for myself? You good with that, Spider-Man?

Peter B. Parker:
Yeah. [Miles sighs] What are you doing?

Miles Morales:
Making you feel guilty. Is it working?

Peter B. Parker:
How could it–? No. No. Look at me. Does it look like it's working? No. No, it's not– [chuckles] Ahh! No! No! No,no,no! Do not let him win! All right, kid. You win. Come on, we don't have a second to lose.

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
Mmm. I love this burger. So delicious. Mm. One of the best burgers I've ever had. In my universe, this place closed six years ago. Mm. I don't know why. I really don't. Mm! You have money, right? I'm not very liquid right now.

Miles Morales:
Can we focus?

Peter B. Parker:
Mm-hm. Sure.

Miles Morales:
The other Peter–

Peter B. Parker:
You gonna eat that? I'm listening.

Miles Morales:
The other Peter said he was gonna be showing me the ropes.

Peter B. Parker:
Wow.

Miles Morales:
You got any Spider-Man tips you can tell me now?

Peter B. Parker:
Yeah, I got plenty. Disinfect the mask. You're gonna wanna use baby powder in the suit, heavy on the joints. You don't want any chafing, right?

Miles Morales:
Anything else?

Peter B. Parker:
Nope, that was everything.

Miles Morales:
I think you're gonna be a bad teacher.

Peter B. Parker:
Uh-uh-uh. Look up where Alchemax is.

Miles Morales:
"A private technological campus in Hudson Valley, New York." You can teach me to swing on the way there. Fwsh,fwsh!

Peter B. Parker:
[Chuckles] I'm not swinging to the Hudson Valley, Miles. Not after a hearty burger breakfast. Keep your legs fresh. You're gonna thank me later.

[John Part – St. Emma's Fire]:
I can see a new horizon Underneath the blazing sky I'll be where the eagle's Flying higher–

Peter B. Parker:
And it's a no on the cape.

Miles Morales:
I think it's cool.

Peter B. Parker:
Take that off. It's disrespectful. Spider-Man doesn't wear a cape.

Miles Morales:
So how do we retrace Peter's steps?

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
That's a good question. What would I do if I were me? Got it. Step One: I infiltrate the lab. Two: Find the head scientist's computer.

Miles Morales:
That lady with the bike is the head scientist. I saw her in this documentary.

Peter B. Parker:
Cool! Step Three: I reexamine my personal biases. Step Four: I hack the computer.

Miles Morales:
It's not technically hacking.

Peter B. Parker:
Not now. I just lost my train of thought. Step Five: Download the important stuff. I'll know it when I see it. Step Six: I grab a bagel from the cafeteria and run.

Miles Morales:
So, what am I doing?

Peter B. Parker:
Step Seven: You stay here. You're lookout. Very important.

Miles Morales:
Look, man. You gotta teach me how to do Spider-Man stuff or I won't be able to help.

Peter B. Parker:
Watch and learn, kid! I'll quiz ya later!

Miles Morales:
Why did I get stuck with the janky, old, broke hobo Spider-Man?! That's new.

Miles Morales:
Kingpin. What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing? Whoa! Peter! Peter! Peter!

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
What are you doing here?

Miles Morales:
Kingpin's here. Just move over.

Peter B. Parker:
You're steppin' on my foot. Go back outside.

Miles Morales:
No! I can't sit there and let Spider-Man die without doing anything about it. I'm not doing that again. What?

Peter B. Parker:
Most people I meet in the workplace try to kill me, so you're a nice change of pace.

Head Scientist:
Mr. Fisk! Look at this data. I know you can't really understand it, but these are really good numbers.

Peter B. Parker:
And I got the password.

Head Scientist:
Mr. Fisk. If we fire again this week there could be a black hole under Brooklyn. You see this? And this? This is multiple dimensions beginning to crash into each other.

Peter B. Parker:
This is pretty standard Spider-Man stakes. You get used to it. Watch this. He's gonna say, "You've got 24 hours."

Wilson Fisk/ Kingpin:
You've got 24 hours.

Head Scientist:
What this means is there could be a rupture in the space-time continuum.

Peter B. Parker:
Ooh. That's bad. Actually, everything she said was bad. I was lying before.

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
Hold on. Let me get you some more data. What are you doing, bud?

Miles Morales:
I can't move.

Peter B. Parker:
Okay, relax your fingers. We don't have time. Just let go. Be in the moment.

Miles Morales:
I am in the moment. It's a terrible moment.

Head Scientist:
I'm not refusing.

Wilson Fisk/ Kingpin:
No more excuses.

Head Scientist:
I just need more time.

Peter B. Parker:
They're right there. They're gonna see you. Miles, you gotta unstick. What do you do to relax?

Miles Morales:
Relax. Okay, okay, okay. Needless to say, I–

Peter B. Parker:
Oh, for crying out loud.

Miles Morales:
Callin' it quits Now, baby, I'm a wreck You're a wreck, ooh–

Peter B. Parker:
Teenagers are just the worst. Miles, where did you go?

Miles Morales:
I'm right here.

Peter B. Parker:
Where? I can't see ya.

Miles Morales:
I'm right in front of you. Can Spider-Man turn invisible?

Peter B. Parker:
Not in my universe.

Miles Morales:
Aah! You just poked me in my eye!

Peter B. Parker:
This is incredible. Some kind of fight or flight thing.

Miles Morales:
What's that?

Peter B. Parker:
Remember this password. D-G-F-A-M-P-E-S-A-N-D...

Miles Morales:
Slow down!

Peter B. Parker:
-4-$-3-5-8-7-6-5-3-4-5-4-5-3-5.

Miles Morales:
I need to write it down!

Peter B. Parker:
Download the schematic.

Miles Morales:
How do I do that?

Peter B. Parker:
While I turn on the charm.

Head Scientist:
Spider-Man?

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
Oh, hey. Didn't see you there.

Head Scientist:
Wow. Okay, I'm kinda freaking out right now. You're supposed to be dead.

Peter B. Parker:
Surprise! Okay. That's a no-no. We don't like that.

Head Scientist:
This is fascinating.

Peter B. Parker:
Okay, that's my face.

Head Scientist:
An entirely different Peter Parker. Little bit of a gut, perhaps from dimensional warping.

Peter B. Parker:
Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah. I was way flatter before I warped.

Head Scientist:
Travel through the multiverse appears to have deteriorated the...

Miles Morales:
What was the rest?!

Peter B. Parker:
Hey, how old are you? 'Cause you don't look a day over 35.

Head Scientist:
They said I was crazy! They said I was crazy!

Peter B. Parker:
You showed 'em you're not crazy.

Head Scientist:
This might pinch a little. I know. I just need to get these samples.

Peter B. Parker:
Okay.

Miles Morales:
Organize your desktop, lady.

Head Scientist:
Wow. Just complete cellular decay. I've never seen anything like this.

Peter B. Parker:
What are you doing?

Miles Morales:
I'm just taking the whole thing.

Head Scientist:
And obviously you've been glitching.

Peter B. Parker:
"Glitchin'"? No. Why would you even say that?

Head Scientist:
If you stay in this dimension too long, your body's gonna disintegrate. Do you know how painful that would be, Peter Parker?

Peter B. Parker:
I don't know.

Head Scientist:
You can't imagine. And I, for one, can't wait to watch.

Peter B. Parker:
What did you say your name was?

Head Scientist:
Dr. Olivia Octavius. [Takes off her lab coat revealing her Doctor Octopus arms]

Peter B. Parker:
And I assume your friends call you "Doc Ock"?

Dr. Olivia Octavius:
My friends actually call me "Liv". My enemies call me "Doc Ock".

Peter B. Parker:
I got this! Run!

Dr. Olivia Octavius / Doctor Octopus:
Who are you talking to?

Peter B. Parker:
I got it!

Doctor Octopus:
Oh, you "got it," Peter?

Peter B. Parker:
I got it handled, buddy! Everything is fine! Okay, this– a little bit bad.

Doctor Octopus:
You're chatty.

Miles Morales:
Gotta go.

Peter B. Parker:
This is the moment that I'm losin' the fight. Let me tell you the good news. We don't need the monitor.

Doctor Octopus:
Peter! You didn't tell me you had an invisible friend! Could you give me that back, young man?

Miles Morales:
Peter!

Doctor Octopus:
It's proprietary.

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
Oh. This'd be a good time to turn invisible.

Miles Morales:
Yep.

Peter B. Parker:
Okay, not gonna turn invisible. Selecting a bagel. Act super normal.

Scientist #1:
Spider-Man?

Peter B. Parker:
You know, that's funny, – I get that a lot.

Miles Morales:
Hey.

Scientist #2:
Spider-Man?

Scientist #3:
Hey! Hands up!

Peter B. Parker:
Now we do a switchy-switchy.

Scientist #3:
Get back here!

Scientist #4:
Where do you think you're going?

Scientist #5:
He took a bagel!

Peter B. Parker:
Time to swing, just like I taught ya.

Miles Morales:
When did you teach me that?

Peter B. Parker:
I didn't. It's a little joke for team-building.

Miles Morales:
Hey!

Peter B. Parker:
All right, you ready?

Miles Morales:
Of course I'm not ready! I can't do this yet!

Peter B. Parker:
Everybody knows that the best way to learn is under intense life-threatening pressure.

Miles Morales:
Come on, come on, come on. Uh-oh.

Peter B. Parker:
What are you doing down there?

Miles Morales:
I run better than I swing.

Peter B. Parker:
You gotta swing or they'll catch you. This is what you wanted. Uh-oh.

Dr. Olivia Octavius / Doctor Octopus:
Come back, little boy.

Peter B. Parker:
Aim with your hips! Look where you want it to hit. Square your shoulders. Don't forget to follow through! Don't shoot off your back foot.

Miles Morales:
That's too many things!

Peter B. Parker:
Then stop listening to me!

Miles Morales:
That's the best idea you've had all day!

Peter B. Parker:
Nice, Miles! Good. You're doin' it. Double tap to release and thwip it out again. Thwip and release. – And thwip. Release. Thwip.

Miles Morales:
And release.

Peter B. Parker:
You're a natural.

Miles and Peter B.:
Thwip. Release.

Peter B. Parker:
Feel the rhythm?

Miles and Peter B.:
Thwip. And release!

Peter B. Parker:
Good, Miles.

Miles Morales:
I gotta say, you're amazing, man.

Peter B. Parker:
We're a little team! Me as the teacher who could still do it. You as the student who can do it, just not as good. I'm proud of us. Is there something you want to say to me?

Miles Morales:
Peter!

Peter B. Parker:
What the–? – Who did that?

Gwanda:
Hey, guys.

Miles Morales:
Gwanda?

Gwanda:
It's Gwen, actually.

Peter B. Parker:
Oh, you know her. Very cool.

Gwen:
I'm from another dimension. I mean, another-another dimension. All right, people. Let's start at the beginning one last time. My name is Gwen Stacy. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for the last two years, I've been the one and only Spider-Woman. You guys know the rest. I joined a band. Saved my dad. I couldn't save my best friend, Peter Parker, so now I save everyone else. And I don't do friends anymore, just to avoid any distractions. And one day this weird thing happened. And I mean, like, really weird. I was blown into last week. Literally. I landed in New York, but not my New York. Lucky for these folks, Spider-Man was there to save the day. My Spider-sense told me to head to Visions Academy. Wasn't sure why until – I met you.

Miles Morales:
(nervously) I like your haircut.

Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman:
You don't get to like my haircut. Let's go.

Miles Morales:
How many more Spider-people are there?

Peter B. Parker:
Save it for Comic-Con.

Miles Morales:
What's Comic-Con?

Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman:
He broke this?

Miles Morales:
Yeah. He's actually really embarrassed about it, so just keep it between us, okay?

Gwen Stacy:
I know where we can make a new one. And we won't let him break it this time.

Miles Morales:
I'm sorry about your friend.

Gwen Stacy:
Thanks, Miles. I know how hard this is. To have to figure this stuff out on your own. It's kinda nice not being the only Spider-person around.

Miles Morales:
Yeah. If you ever decide to do friends again, I could always open up a slot.

Gwen Stacy:
I'll keep you posted.

Miles Morales:
Cool.

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
We should probably go. (Somewhere in Queens…)

Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman:
Peter, we're literally on the doorstep.

Peter B. Parker:
Bad idea. This is a bad idea.

Gwen Stacy:
Just relax.

Aunt May:
You guys are all very sweet, but no more fans today, please.

Peter B. Parker:
I'm not ready for this.

Aunt May:
Peter?

Peter B. Parker:
Hey, Aunt May. So this is gonna sound crazy, but I'm pretty sure that I'm from an…

Aunt May:
An alternate dimension.

Peter B. Parker:
Yeah.

Aunt May:
You look tired, Peter.

Peter B. Parker:
Well, I am tired.

Aunt May:
And older. And thicker.

Peter B. Parker:
Yeah. I've heard that already.

Aunt May:
Oh, jeez. Are those sweatpants?

Gwen Stacy:
Yup, that's what they are.

Miles Morales:
I was there, when it all happened. I am so sorry.

Aunt May:
And what dimension are you from?

Miles Morales:
Brooklyn. Did Peter have a place where we could make another one of these?

Aunt May:
A goober. Follow me.

Peter B. Parker:
Oh, yeah, I got one of these, too. A little, old shed where I keep my Spider-gear. (May unlocks the door, opening the elevator.) I mean, this place is pretentious.

(In the subfloor it revealed to be the Spider-Cave.)

Miles Morales:
Whoa. Dude. Was yours anything like this?

Peter B. Parker:
Mine was like this, but take away the jeep, the plane. Imagine it way smaller. Imagine a futon. I feel sad for this guy.

Miles Morales:
Hey, Peter. I think this is a cape.

Aunt May:
Peter knew how dangerous the job was. But he figured the only one who could stop this guy was Spider-Man.

Miles Morales:
Kingpin knows we're coming. We're going to be outnumbered.

Aunt May:
Don't be so sure. You might need these. You think you're the only people who thought to come here?

Peter Parker / Spider-Man Noir:
Hey, fellas.

Miles Morales:
Is he in black and white?

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
Where's that wind coming from? We're in a basement.

Spider-Man Noir:
Wherever I go, the wind follows. And the wind, it smells like rain.

Peni Parker / Sp//dr:
Hi, guys! Konichiwa! Hajimemashite yoroshiku!

Peter B. Parker:
This could literally not get any weirder.

Peter Porker / Spider-Ham:
It can get weirder. I just washed my hands. That's why they're wet. No other reason.

All six Spiders:
You're like me.

Spider-Man Noir:
My name is Peter Parker.

Peni Parker:
My name is Peni Parker.

Spider-Ham:
My name is Peter Porker.

Spider-Man Noir and Peni Parker:
I was bitten by a radioactive spider.

Spider-Ham:
I was bitten by a radioactive pig.

Spider-Man Noir:
In my universe, it's 1933, and I'm a private eye. I like to drink egg creams, and I like to fight Nazis. A lot.

Peni Parker:
I'm from New York in the year 3145. I have a psychic link with a spider who lives inside my father's robot. And we're best friends. Forever.

Spider-Man Noir:
Sometimes I let matches burn down to my fingertips just to feel something, anything.

Spider-Ham:
I'm a photographer for the Daily Beagle. When I'm not pooching around, I'm working like a dog, trying to sniff out the latest story. I frolic and I dance And I do this With my pants

Peter B. Parker:
Okay! Enough! So how did you get here?

Spider-Man Noir:
Well, it's kind of a long story. Maybe not that long.

Peni Parker:
And now we're just trying to find a way home.

Spider-Man Noir:
The only way home is back through that collider gizmo. The only trouble is'…

Spider-Ham:
One of us has to stay behind and destroy it.

Gwen Stacy, Peni Parker, Spider-Man Noir, and Spider-Ham:
I'll do it.

Miles Morales:
No, no, no. You guys don't get it.

Peni Parker:
Don't get what? (Everyone starts glitching and grunting.)

Miles Morales:
None of you can stay here. If you stay here, you'll die. I'm the guy who's gonna turn it off. And I'm gonna get you all home before I do. Look, I made a promise. So I have to keep it.

Spider-Man Noir:
Who are you again?

Peter B. Parker:
This is Miles. And he's gonna save the multiverse.

Miles Morales:
Yeah, man.

Peter B. Parker:
This kid can turn himself invisible. Watch this. He can do it now.

Miles Morales:
I can't do it on command.

Peter B. Parker:
He can't do it on command. But it is cool. Show 'em the zappy thing, Miles.

Miles Morales:
Can't do it on command.

Peter B. Parker:
He can't do it on command. But he can do so much more. What else do you do?

Miles Morales:
Just those two things.

Peter B. Parker:
Just those two things.

Spider-Man Noir:
Aw, man.

Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman:
Look, I've seen him in action. He's got potential. I think he's gonna get us home.

Spider-Man Noir:
Okay, little fella, Kingpin's gonna send a lot of mugs after ya. I'm talkin' hard boys, real biscuit boxers. Can you fight them all off at once?

Miles Morales:
I haven't actually fought anyone.

Spider-Man Noir:
Surprise attack!

Peni Parker:
Can you rewire a mainframe while being shot at?

Miles Morales:
Can I what?

Peni Parker:
Show me!

Spider-Man Noir:
Surprise attack!

Gwen Stacy:
Can you swing and flip with the grace of a trained dancer?

Spider-Man Noir:
Can you close off your feelings so you don't get crippled by the moral ambiguity of your violent actions?

Aunt May:
Can you help your aunt create an online dating profile so she can get out of the dang house once in a while?

Spider-Ham:
Can you float through the air when you smell a delicious pie?

Miles Morales:
(softly) What?

Gwen Stacy:
Can you be strong?

Peni Parker:
Ruthless?

Gwen Stacy:
Disciplined?

Miles Morales:
I don't know. Maybe.

Peni Parker:
Psychic?

Spider-Man Noir:
Show me some moxie, soldier!

Gwen Stacy:
Above all, no matter how many times you get hit, can you get back up?

Spider-Man Noir:
'Cause when a Spider-Man is on the floor–

Spider-Ham:
When you think you can't keep goin'–

Gwen Stacy:
Come on, Miles.

Peni Parker:
Come on. You can do it.

Gwen Stacy:
You can do this.

Peter B. Parker:
Hey. Guys, cool it.

Peni Parker:
Come on. You can do it.

Spider-Man Noir:
Get up, Miles.

Gwen Stacy:
Come on, Miles. Get up.

(Miles stays down.)

Gwen Stacy:
(As they're talking softly to Peter B. about Miles.) You need to be more honest with yourself about this. He's not ready. It's obvious.

Spider-Man Noir:
There's no way. He's just a kid.

Gwen Stacy:
If he can't do this, we have to stay and do it for him.

Spider-Man Noir:
He's looking right at us while we talk about him.

Peter B. Parker:
Miles? Miles? You see that? He can, um... He can turn invisible.

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
Hey, bud. You okay? We've all been there. You know, for me, it was my Uncle Ben.

Peter Parker / Spider-Man Noir:
For me, it was my Uncle Benjamin.

Peni Parker / Sp//dr:
For me, it was my father.

Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman:
For me, it was my best friend.

Peter Porker / Spider-Ham:
Miles, the hardest thing about this job is you can't always save everybody.

Miles Morales:
Look, it was my fault. You wouldn't understand.

Gwen Stacy:
Miles, we're probably the only ones who do understand.

Peter B. Parker:
Oh, no.

[Miles' roommate walks in with the headphones up to maximum volume]

[Duckwrth – Start a Riot, Feat. Shaboozey]:
Who in here trying to start a riot?

Peter B. Parker:
That way, that way. Other way, other way, other way, other way.

[Duckwrth]:
Who that swinging In the air?

Miles Morales:
Hey there.

Spider-Ham:
Do animals talk in this dimension? 'Cause I don't wanna freak him out.

[The roommate pass out and fell on the floor.]

[Duckwrth]:
Let's stand up, stand up You better just fix your–

Miles Morales:
What's going on?

Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman:
Bye, Miles.

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
Miles, I came to say goodbye.

Miles Morales:
We can say goodbye at the collider.

Peter B. Parker:
You're not getting it. You're staying here.

Miles Morales:
I need to be there. So you can all go home.

Peter B. Parker:
They are going home, Miles. I'm the only one stayin'.

Miles Morales:
You're taking my place? If you stay here, you'll die.

Peter B. Parker:
I'm doing what needs to be done. I just wanted you to hear it from me.

Miles Morales:
What about MJ?

Peter B. Parker:
Not everything works out, kid. I need the goober. Please don't make me take it from you.

Miles Morales:
That's not fair! You gotta tell them I can do this.

Peter B. Parker:
It wasn't their decision.

Miles Morales:
I gotta make Kingpin pay! You have to let me make him pay!

Peter B. Parker:
Miles, you're gonna get yourself killed.

Miles Morales:
But I'm ready. I promise!

Peter B. Parker:
Then venom-strike me right now. Or turn invisible on command so you can get past me. Look, I know how much you want this, kid.

Peter Parker / Spider-Man Noir:
Poor little guy.

Peter B. Parker:
But you don't have it yet. I'm sorry.

Miles Morales:
When will I know I'm ready?

Peter B. Parker:
You won't. It's a leap of faith. That's all it is, Miles. A leap of faith.

Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman:
Guess this is it.

Peni Parker / Sp//dr:
Well, nice to know we're not alone. Right?

Gwen Stacy:
Yeah.

Miles Morales / Spider-Man:
I got the portal open. You first, Peni.

Peni Parker:
Thank you, Miles. From both of us.

Spider-Man Noir:
I, uh, love you all. I'm taking this cube thing with me. I don't understand it. But I will.

Peter Porker / Spider-Ham:
I want you to have this. It'll fit in your pocket. That's all folks.

Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man:
Is he allowed to say that, legally?

Miles Morales:
Do I get to like the hairdo now?

Gwen Stacy:
You know I'm older than you. 15 months, but it's pretty significant if you ask me.

Miles Morales:
Well, Einstein said time was relative, right?

Gwen Stacy:
Nice.

Miles Morales:
Friends?

Gwen Stacy:
Friends.

Miles Morales:
Cool.

Gwen Stacy:
See you around, Spider-Man.

Miles Morales:
Your turn.

Peter B. Parker:
Yeah, yeah. Right.

Wilson Fisk / Kingpin:
You're not going anywhere!

Peter B. Parker:
I'll hold him off. You shut this down.

Miles Morales:
Peter, that wasn't the deal!

Peter B. Parker:
Push the green button! Do not wait for me! What are you doing?

Miles Morales:
You gotta go home!

Peter B. Parker:
This guy could kill you! I can't let Spider-Man die.

Miles Morales:
Neither can I.

Peter B. Parker:
It's okay.

Miles Morales:
Yeah, it is okay. [trips Peter B. Parker and grabs his shirt before he can fall off] You gotta go home, man.

Peter B. Parker:
How do I know I'm not gonna mess it up again?

Miles Morales:
You won't.

Peter B. Parker:
Right. It's a leap of faith.

[Miles lets go of Peter B. Parker]

Peter B. Parker:
Not bad, kid.

Spider-Gang:
[final words to Kingpin before his death] I know what you're trying to do– and it won't work. They're gone.

Spider-Gang:
I think you're gonna be a bad teacher.

Spider-Gang:
You can teach me to be Spider-Man!

Spider-Gang:
How many more Spider-people are there? [Peter B. Parker: Save it for Comic-Con.] What's Comic-Con?

Spider-Gang:
When will I know I'm ready?

Spider-Gang:
I’ll always have my family.

Spider-Gang:
Officer, I love you.

Spider-Gang:
Okay, let's do this one last time, yeah? For real this time. This is it. My name is Miles Morales. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for, like, 2 days, I've been the one and only Spider-Man. I think you know the rest. I finished my essay, saved a bunch of people, got hit by a drone (like Peter did), I did this with my dad (to remember my uncle), met my roommate finally, slapped a sticker where my dad's never gonna find it, and when I feel alone, like no one understands what I'm going through, I remember my friends who get it. I never thought I'd be able to do any of this stuff, but I can. Anyone can wear the mask. You could wear the mask. If you didn't know that before, I hope you do now. 'Cause I'm Spider-Man, and I'm not the only one, not by a long shot.

Spider-Gang:
[narrating] Alright, people, let’s do this one last time. My name is Peter B. Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last 22 years– I thought I was the one and only Spider-Man. What a day. [narrating] I'm pretty sure you know the rest. You see, I saved the city, fell in love, I got married– saved the city some more, maybe too much. My marriage got testy, made some dicey money choices, don't invest in a spider-themed restaurant. Then like 15 years passed. Blah, blah, blah. Super boring. I broke my back, a drone flew into my face. I buried Aunt May. My wife and I– split up. But I handled it like a champion. [crying in the shower] 'Cause, you know what? No matter how many times I get hit, I always get back up. And I got a lot of time to reflect and work on myself. Did you know that seahorses, that they mate for life? Could you imagine? A seahorse seeing another seahorse– and then making it work? [line ringing as he trys to call MJ] She wanted kids and– and it scared me. [Hangs up] I'm pretty sure I broke her heart. Flash-forward: I'm in my apartment doing push-ups– doing ab crunches, getting strong– when this weird thing happened. And I gotta say, weird things happen to me a lot. But this was real weird. [Yells as he getting sucked into the wormhole] [screaming as he's heralding downtown] [Grunting as he hits everything] Ow! [narrating] You see, I was in New York, but the things were different. Also, I was dead, and blonde. I was kind of perfect. It was like looking in a mirror. (Well, in a– different way.) I have a feeling that the thing that brought me here– was the thing that got him killed. You wanna know what happened next? Me too.

Spider-Gang:
Here's lesson number one, kid: Don't watch the mouth. Watch the hands.

Spider-Gang:
And it's a no on the cape. [Miles Morales: I think it's cool.] Take that off. It's disrespectful. Spider-Man doesn't wear a cape.

Spider-Gang:
Teenagers are just the worst.

Spider-Gang:
Time to swing, just like I taught you. [Miles Morales: When did you teach me that?] I didn't. It's a little joke for team-building.

Spider-Gang:
Everybody knows that the best way to learn is under intense life-threatening pressure.

Spider-Gang:
We're a little team! Me as the teacher who could still do it. You as the student who can do it, just not as good. I'm proud of us.

Spider-Gang:
Save it for Comic-Con.

Spider-Gang:
This could literally not get any weirder.

Spider-Gang:
Let me guess. You're Scorpion. Well, we're the Spider-... Gang.

Spider-Gang:
You won't. It's a leap of faith. That's all it is, Miles. A leap of faith.

Spider-Gang:
I'm Gw– anda.

Spider-Gang:
I'm from another dimension. I mean, another–another dimension.

Spider-Gang:
Alright, people. Let’s start at the beginning one last time. My name is Gwen Stacy. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last 2 years, I've been the one and only Spider-Woman. You guys know the rest. I joined a band, saved my dad. I couldn't save my best friend, Peter Parker, so now I save everyone else. And I don't do friends anymore, just to avoid any distractions. And one day this weird thing happened. And I mean, like, really weird. I was blown into last week literally. I landed in New York, but not my New York. My Spider-Sense told me to head to Visions Academy. [to Miles] Wasn't sure why until I met you. [Miles: [nervously] I like your haircut.] [deadpan] You don't get to like my haircut.

Spider-Gang:
He figured it out.

Spider-Gang:
Wherever I go, the wind follows, and the wind– smells like rain.

Spider-Gang:
My name is (also) Peter Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. In my universe, it's 1933, and I’m a private eye. I like to drink egg creams, and I like to fight Nazis a lot. Sometimes, I let matches burn down to my fingertips just to feel something, anything.

Spider-Gang:
Can you close off your feelings so you don't get crippled by the moral ambiguity of your violent actions?

Spider-Gang:
It can't be that easy. [cut to them with bowties walking around the party as "staff"] It's that easy.

Spider-Gang:
[after Aunt May tells them to take the impending fight outside] We don't pick the ballroom, we just dance.

Spider-Gang:
[while fighting Tombstone] You gonna fight or are you just flappin' gums? Ya hard-boiled turtle slapper!

Spider-Gang:
[last words before returning to his universe] I love you all. I'm taking this cube thing with me. I don't understand it. But I will.

Spider-Gang:
Hi, guys! Konichiwa! Hajimemashite yoroshiku!

Spider-Gang:
My name is Peni Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. I'm from New York in the year 3145. I have a psychic link with a spider who lives inside my father's robot, and we're best friends forever.

Spider-Gang:
Can you rewire a mainframe while being shot at?

Spider-Gang:
Kingpin has a private elevator entrance from his penthouse to the collider below.

Spider-Gang:
[last words before returning to her universe] Thank you, Miles. From both of us.

Spider-Gang:
[Peter B. Parker: This could literately not get any weirder.] It can get weirder. I just washed my hands, that’s why they’re wet. No other reason.

Spider-Gang:
My name is Peter Porker. I was bitten by a radioactive pig. I'm a photographer for the Daily Beagle. When I'm not pooching around, I'm working like a dog trying to sniff out the latest story. I frolic, and I dance, and I do this with my pants–

Spider-Gang:
Can you float in the air at the smell of a delicious pie?

Spider-Gang:
Miles, the hardest thing about this job is– you can't always save everybody.

Spider-Gang:
Do animals talk in this dimension? 'Cause I don't wanna freak him out.

Spider-Gang:
[against scorpion] you got a problem with cartoons?

Spider-Gang:
[last words to Miles before returning to his universe] I want you to have this. It'll fit in your pocket. That's all folks.

Jefferson Davis:
Miles, it's your dad. Please open the door. Miles, I can see your shadow movin' around. Yeah, okay, I get it. I get it. You're still ignoring me. Look, can we talk for a minute? Something... Something happened to... Look, sometimes people drift apart, Miles. And I don't want that to happen to us, okay? I know I don't always do what you need me to do or say what you need me to say. I see this spark in you. It's amazing. It's why I push you. But it's yours. Whatever you choose to do with it, you'll be great. Look, call me when you can. Okay? I love you. You don't have to say it back, though.

Wilson Fisk / Kingpin:
[to the tune of the Spider-Man theme] Doo-be do. Doo-be do. Yub-yub, doo-bee do, doo-bee-do. Watch out! Here comes the Spider-Man! You like my new toy? Cost me a fortune, but hey, can't take it with you, right? You came all this way. Watch the test. It's a hell of a frickin' light show, you're gonna love this.

Wilson Fisk / Kingpin:
This was never your city. It's mine.

Wilson Fisk / Kingpin:
It's not always about the money, Spider-Man.

Wilson Fisk / Kingpin:
The real Spider-Man couldn't beat me! You're nothing!

Wilson Fisk / Kingpin:
You're not stopping this! Not today!

Wilson Fisk / Kingpin:
You took my family, and now I’m gonna make sure you never see yours again. [crushes Miles with a single punch]

Uncle Aaron:
You’re the best of us all, Miles. You’re on your way. Just keep going.