St. Vincent

Brother Geraghty:
We celebrate all the religions of the world in this room, Oliver. I'm a catholic, which is the best of all the religions, really, because we have the most rules. And the best clothes. But among us, there is also a buddhist, agnostic, we have a baptist, and we have an "I don't know", which seems to be the fastest growing religion in the world.

Vincent:
You never seen Abbott and Costello?

Oliver:
No, sir. Are they old?

Vincent:
No. They're dead. That's the oldest you can be.

Oliver:
Or the youngest. Time freezes when you're dead.

Vincent:
You need to defend yourself, or you get mowed down.

Oliver:
I'm small, if you haven't noticed.

Vincent:
Yeah, so was Hitler.

Oliver:
That's a horrible comparison.

Vincent:
Indeed. Making a point, though.

[first lines]

Vincent:
So this Irish guy knocks on this lady's door and says, you know, "Have you got any, uh... Any, uh... work for me?" And she says, "Um, well, you now, as a matter of fact, you could paint the porch." But two hours later, he comes back and says, "I'm finished, ma'am, but just for your information, it's not a Porsche, it's a BMW." [bar patrons stunned]

Oliver:
Is that our new neighbor?

Maggie:
Yep.

Oliver:
It's gonna be a long life.

Maggie:
[about Oliver's book] God, that's depressing.

Oliver:
No, it's not. The tree was meant to give, so to be able to give everything and have nothing left is the best life the tree could ever have.

Maggie:
Well, your father must think I'm a tree.

Oliver:
Why would he think that?

Maggie:
Nothing. Nothing.

Oliver:
He's paying me hourly.

Vincent:
I'm showing him how the world works. You work, you get paid, you drink.

Maggie:
You're drinking alcohol?

Vincent:
...I honestly don't remember.

Vincent:
A lady of the night.

Oliver:
What's that?

Vincent:
It's one of the more honest ways to make a living.

Ocinski:
Hey, uh, your dad the one that taught you how to fight?

Oliver:
No, my babysitter.

Zucko:
Come on, Vinny! Why do you always have to do things the hard way?

Vincent:
It's more interesting.

Zucko:
And a lot more painful.

Vincent:
[to Oliver] Do yourself a favor. Get a life. Stop living mine.

Oliver:
What's Vin like when I'm not around?

Daka:
[with Russian accent] He don't like people. People don't like him. Except cat, and you. Why you like him?

Daka:
My water is broken!

Vincent:
Call a plumber.

Vincent:
Don't ever become a pencil-pusher kid, they're spineless.

Vincent:
[answering telephone] Come on, coward, try to sell me something.

Oliver:
Sorry, Vin, for your loss.

Vincent:
Never understood... wh-wh-why people say that.

Oliver:
They don't know what else to say.

Vincent:
How about, "What was she like?" "Do you miss her?" Or "What are you gonna do now?"

Terry:
It is what it is.

Vincent:
It is what it is? Everyone's saying that now. You know what it means? You're screwed, and you shall remain screwed.

What is Vincent like?

Oliver:
Cool, in a grouchy sort of way”