Suburban Girl

Brett Eisenberg:
Is this all some sort of experiment, see how long it takes to seduce a young girl?

Archie Knox:
Seduce? What would the point of that be?

Nurse:
Just a minute miss, sorry to bug you. But your father hasn't filled out his dinner menu yet. Would you mind?

Brett Eisenberg:
He's not my father.

Nurse:
Excuse me?

Brett Eisenberg:
I said he's not my father. He's my boyfriend. I have sex with him!

Nurse:
Either way he eats, right? [Brett walks into the hospital room, pulls back the curtain, and we see Archie in bed]

Archie Knox:
[using a high pitch, mimicking voice] He's my boyfriend. I have sex with him!

Archie Knox:
Congratulations are in order if you're breaking bread with Brett. Looks like you're planning to sign with Gitlin and Stern?

Cas Coyote:
Well, we haven't actually settled on anything yet.

Archie Knox:
Well, you better hurry. You have before you the savviest editrix in this town. I've tried to hire her myself for the last couple of years, and she turned me down. You know why? She say's I'm a letch.

[both laugh]

Cas Coyote:
Archie, you are a letch.

Archie Knox:
[sitting with Brett's family after meeting them for the first time] Well, I do appreciate the attempt you've all made at avoiding the obvious. It was a worthy effort. But let's cut to the chase, shall we. Robert, how old are you?

Robert Eisenberg:
57.

Archie Knox:
And I'm 50. So, that makes me younger than Robert. So everybody feeling good about that right now?

Ethan Eisenberg:
I am very relieved. How old were you when Brett was in third grade?

Brett Eisenberg:
Grow up Ethan.

Ethan Eisenberg:
Brett skipped the third grade.

Ethan Eisenberg:
[imitates a buzzer] Well played.

Archie Knox:
Take as much time as you need.

Brett Eisenberg:
I will.

Archie Knox:
But don't forget that I need you too. More than I've ever needed anybody before. [starts to drive away and then reverses to be next to her again] Because you may not think so, but you're different.

Brett Eisenberg:
From all the rest? [Archie nods and drives away]

Robert Eisenberg:
Is Archie alcoholic?

Brett Eisenberg:
Yeah

Robert Eisenberg:
Look, you know I don't like to get involved in your life. But this is the reason that I don't... That I'm worried about this relationship with this man. If Archie isn't going to take care of himself someone else will. I don't want you to have to spend your life that way.

Robert Eisenberg:
You're Brett Eisenberg, MD.

Brett Eisenberg:
MD?

Robert Eisenberg:
My daughter.

Ethan Eisenberg:
I know I'm not dad, but if you ever need to talk to someone I could try to manufacture something that sounds lucid.

Brett Eisenberg:
[pause] The only thing that I can't bear, that's killing me... Is the thought that he was worried about me when he died.

Ethan Eisenberg:
He wasn't worried.

Brett Eisenberg:
How do you know?

Ethan Eisenberg:
I was here the morning that dad got the phone call from Mickey. Well, after he hung up the phone, I told him would gladly assassinate Archie, if that's what he wanted. You know a dieing wish vendetta type of thing.

Brett Eisenberg:
Very comforting.

Ethan Eisenberg:
Anyway, he said, "Thanks, but I think Brett can take care of herself."

Brett Eisenberg:
He really said that?

Ethan Eisenberg:
Yeah. That's straight from the words of Robert Eisenberg, MD.

Brett Eisenberg:
MD... My Dad.

Archie Knox:
Why won't you marry me?

Brett Eisenberg:
Are you asking me to explain?

Archie Knox:
Yes, I am.

Brett Eisenberg:
When I look at you, I see a teacher. But when you look at me, you see a student. Because you like to run away. It's part of who you are. Because, in the end, a girl can't grow up until she looses a father and leaves an Archie.

Brett Eisenberg:
I know, it's nuts, but when I'm with him I fell like a better version of myself... You know? Funnier, smarter, sexier.

Archie Knox:
They did good rowing, Dave and Michelle. When she was pregnant with Carl, he hit her - once. Her body - always assailed him with ambivalence - wanting to possess it, and yet repelled - her marbled belly, her engorged breasts that shamed him, the way they tipped him into revulsion.