Such Good Friends

Richard Messinger:
How about my wife's pair? Fantastic, aren't they? I think they're the best looking ones here.

Julie Messinger:
Richard, you are drunk and silly!

Doria Perkins:
He's right! They're really beautiful! Are they very old?

Julie Messinger:
*Pardon*?

Richard Messinger:
Oh, forgive my wife. She's blind drunk! Honey, she wants to know if the *earrings* are very old.

Julie Messinger:
Oh! No, I just bought them. Thank you.

Richard Messinger:
What is that?

Julie Messinger:
What?

Richard Messinger:
There is something *alive* in your blouse!

Julie Messinger:
Oh, Richard. Are they really that noticeable?

Richard Messinger:
Noticeable? They are leaping out in the air and chinning themselves.

Julie Messinger:
Richard, I can't go up there. Everyone's going to notice them.

Richard Messinger:
Don't be ridiculous! The guest list includes Norman Mailer, Bernard Kalman and Saul Bellow. You'd have to be stark naked and bald to get a second look!

Julie Messinger:
Take a good look, Richard. This is what I am. Do you still want me for your wife?

Molly Hastings:
No.

Molly Hastings:
Well... how would you classify syphilis?

Molly Hastings:
Oh... you know I think I did have hepatitis.

Julie Messinger:
What do you mean you can't find anything to replace Richard's blood? What are you giving him in its place? Tomato soup?

Julie Messinger:
A man goes into the hospital to have a mole removed and lapses into a coma. What happens when you come here for something serious? Do you develop a mole?