The Civil War


A week before the battle of Bull Run, Sullivan Ballou, a major in the 2nd Rhode Island Volunteers, wrote home to his wife in Smithfield.

Sullivan Ballou:
July 14, 1861. Washington, D.C. Dear Sarah, indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days-perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I'm no more. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I'm engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the Revolution. And I am willing, perfectly willing, to lay down all the joys in this life, to help maintain this Government and to pay that debt. Sarah, my love for you is deathless. It seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence can break. Yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind, bearing me irresistibly with all these chains to the battlefield. The memories of all the blissful moments I've enjoyed with you come crowding over me. And I feel most deeply grateful to God and you that I've enjoyed them for so long. How hard it is to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved each other and seen our boys grown to honorable manhood around us. If I do not return, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I loved you. Nor that when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless, how foolish I have sometimes been. But, oh, Sarah, if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they love, I'll always be with you; in the brightest day and the darkest night, always. Always. And when the soft breeze fans your cheek, it shall be my breath. Or the cool air at your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah, do not mourn me dead. Think I am gone, and wait for me, for we shall meet again.

Sullivan Ballou was killed a week later at the First Battle of Bull Run.

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