The Last of Us

David:
We're from a larger group - women, children - we're all very very hungry.

Ellie:
So am I - women and children - all very hungry too.

Tess:
What do you know about me? about us?

Joel:
I know that this is not you.

Tess:
Really? Guess what, we're shitty people Joel it's been that way for a long time...

Joel:
No, we are survivors...

Tess:
this is our chance...!

Joel:
IT IS OVER, TESS! now we tried... let's just go home...

Joel:
I've struggled a long time with survivin', but no matter what you have to find something to fight for.

Ellie:
It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

Henry:
[after Joel, Ellie, Henry and Sam escape the sewers] fresh air...

Sam:
[sees "Warning: Infected inside, do not enter" written on the wall] Wha'?... look at this...

Ellie:
Are you f***ing kidding me? Thanks for the warning on the other side guys!

Firefly:
If you're looking for the fireflies, they've all left. I'm dead, or I will be soon. Got me some time to reflect... I dedicated my life to this cause, now I won't get to see whether we make it or not. I joined the fireflies shortly after the outbreak. Here was a group willing to do whatever it took to save us from this plague when the government was willing to retreat to ghettos, I couldn't just give up on our country, give up on humanity. God, that sounds trite... Anyway... There have been years that felt like we were onto something, like we might actually eradicate this thing... Those were usually followed by years of utter despair, like this whole f***ing thing was a giant waste of time, It feels like the past few years were more of the latter, We haven't had a breakthrough since the passive vaccine test we ran, what?... five years ago? Now this entire lab has been compromised and the higher-ups have decided to abandon the university. I'm just f***in' tired, I can't do this anymore - I'm NOT gonna do this anymore. If you've made it here looking for the others, they've all returned to St. Mary's Hospital in Salt Lake City. You'll find them there, still trying to save the world... Good luck with that.

Joel:
[after Joel kills all the hunters in the bookstore] that was too damn close...

Ellie:
To the edge of the universe and back, endure and survive...

Joel:
excuse me?

Ellie:
Savage Starlight, that comic I've been reading? It's what the hero says after a big battle.

Joel:
Endure and survive?

Ellie:
Yeah.

Joel:
heh, okay...

Ellie:
Everyone I have cared for has either died or left me. Everyone - f***ing except for you! So don't tell me I would be safer with somebody else, because the truth is I would just be more scared.

Joel:
You're right... You're not my daughter, and I sure as hell ain't your dad. And we are going our separate ways.

Ellie:
I shot the hell out of that guy, huh?

Ellie:
[after breaking David's finger] Ellie.

David:
What?

Ellie:
Tell them that... Ellie is the little girl that broke your f***ing finger.

Ellie:
Well, maybe in all that research they turned into f***ing monkeys.

Ellie:
That girl is so skinny... I thought you had plenty of food in your time.

Joel:
We did. Some just chose not to eat it.

Ellie:
Why the hell not?

Joel:
For looks.

Ellie:
Pffft, that's stupid.

Ellie:
I'm sure your "friend" will be missing this tonight. [pulls out gay porn mag] Light on the reading, but it has some good photos.

Joel:
Now Ellie, that ain't for kids.

Ellie:
Whoa! How the - how the hell would you even walk around with that thing?

Joel:
Get rid of that. Just...

Ellie:
Hold your horses, I wanna see what the fuss is about. Why are these pages stuck together?

Joel:
Uhh...

Ellie:
[laughs] I'm just f***ing with you!

Ellie:
We're here because you owe Joel some favors, and you can start by taking these off! [referring to handcuffs dangling from her wrist]

Bill:
I owe Joel some favors... is this some kind of joke?

Joel:
I'll cut to the chase: I need a car.

Bill:
Well, it is a joke. Joel needs a car! Well, if I had one that works, which I sure as hell don't, what makes you think I'd just give it to you? Huh? "Yeah sure, Joel, go ahead, take my car! Take all my food too, while you're at it!

Ellie:
By the looks of it, you could lose some of that food.

Bill:
[Points a knife at her] You listen to me, you little sh*t...

Ellie:
No, f*** you! You handcuffed me!

Joel:
[after Ellie saves him from a hunter] Why didn't you just hang back like I told you to?

Ellie:
Well, you're glad I didn't, right?

Joel:
I'm glad I didn't get my head blown off by a goddamn kid.

Ellie:
You know what? No. How about "Hey, Ellie. I know it wasn't easy, but it was either him or me, thanks for saving my ass." You got anything like that for me, Joel?

Ellie:
So... why don't you fix one these cars? [referring to the mass of broken down cars]

Bill:
Oh my God, you're a genius. I mean the whole time, why on earth hadn't I thought about fixin' one of these cars?

Ellie:
Okay, don't be a dick...

Bill:
The tires are rotten and the batteries are dead.

Joel:
I struggled for a long time with survivin'. And you- No matter what, you keep finding something to fight for. Now, I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but it's...

Ellie:
Swear to me. Swear to me that everything you said about the fireflies is true.

Joel:
I Swear.

Ellie:
[after a long pause] Okay.

Ellie:
What is the leading cause of divorce in long-term marriages?

Joel:
[sighs]

Ellie:
A stalemate.

Joel:
That's awful.

Ellie:
...You're awful.

Joel:
Do you even understand what that means?

Ellie:
Nope... It doesn't matter.

Ellie:
I walked in to my sister's room and slipped on her bra. It was a booby trap.

Ellie:
Ready for a joke? Bakers trade bread recipes on a need-to-know basis...

Joel:
[Doesn't respond]

Ellie:
...like 'knead'.

Joel:
Yeah, I get it.

Ellie:
What did the mermaid wear to her math class?

Joel:
[Annoyed] What?

Ellie:
An algae-bra.

Joel:
[scoffs] Terrible...

Ellie:
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

Joel:
Alright...

Ellie:
Because he was outstanding... In his field.

Joel:
That'll do.

Ellie:
[Reading from a joke book] People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow... Too soon.

Ellie:
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "Breath, you idiot!"

Sam:
I've got a joke for you.

Ellie:
Let's hear it.

Sam:
Why can't your nose be twelve inches long?

Ellie:
I don't know, why?

Sam:
Because then it would be a foot!

Ellie:
Pfft... That's so dumb

Bill:
You know, as bad as those things are, at least they're predictable. It's the normal people that scare me.

Ellie:
I really shot the hell out of that guy, huh?

Ellie:
Hearing them talk, it's good to know they're scared of you.

Joel:
Yeah, well, just try not to let your guard down.

Ellie:
I'm just saying, I'm glad you're on my side.

[Joel doesn't respond]

Ellie:
That was a compliment.

Joel:
Okay.

Bill:
Once upon a time, I had somebody that I cared about... It was a partner. Somebody I had to look after. And in this world, that sort of sh*t's good for one thing: Gettin' you killed. So you know what I did? I wizened the f*** up, and realized it's got to be just me out there.

Joel:
Don't you have a plan B?

Bill:
You're lucky you're still drawing breath! That was plan A, B, all the way to f***ing Z!

Bill:
Listen, are we square?

Joel:
We're square.

Bill:
Good. Now get the f*** out of my town.

David:
I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Joel:
[Regarding his brother]

Joel:
I believe his last words to me were "I don't ever want to see your goddamn face again."

Ellie:
Holy sh*t. We actually made it.

Joel:
Everyone okay?

Tess:
Yes. Let's move.

Ellie:
You guys are pretty good at this stuff.

Joel:
It's called luck, and it is gonna run out.

David:
You handled yourself pretty nice back there. Ha, whew, I say we make a pretty good team.

Ellie:
Psshh. We got lucky.

David:
Lucky? No, no... no such thing as luck. No, you see I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Ellie:
Sure.

David:
I do. And I can prove it to you. Now, this winter has been especially cruel. A few weeks back, I ah... sent a group of men out - nearby town to look for food. Only a few came back. They said that the others had been, ah, slaughtered by a crazy man. And get this, he's a crazy man traveling with a little girl. You see? Everything happens for a reason.

Ellie:
I dreamt about flying the other night.

Joel:
Oh yeah?

Ellie:
Yeah.

Joel:
Go on, tell me about it.

Ellie:
So, I'm on this big plane full of people. And everyone is screaming and yelling 'cause the plane's going down. So I walk to the cockpit, open the door, but there's no pilot. I try to use the controls but... I obviously have no clue how to fly a plane. And right before we crash, I wake up. I've never been on a plane. Isn't that weird?

Joel:
Hmpf. Well, you know, dreams are weird.

Joel:
[finding a pile of dead, bullet-ridden, bloodied corpses in a room, after trying to find sanctuary from human bandits that tried to kill them in Philadelphia] F***ing hunters. See, this could have been us.

Ellie:
That's gotta be hard. Leaving all of your stuff behind like that.

Joel:
That ain't the hard part.

Sam:
How is it that you're never scared?

Ellie:
Who says that I'm not?

Sam:
What are you scared of?

Ellie:
Let's see... Scorpions are pretty creepy. Um... Being by myself. I'm scared of ending up alone.

Ellie:
[after discussing Ellie's fears] What about you?

Sam:
Those things out there. What if the people are still inside? What if they're trapped in there, without any control of their body? I'm scared of that happening to me.

Ellie:
Okay, first of all, we're a team now, okay. We're gonna help each other out. And second, they might still look like people, but that person is not in there anymore.

Sam:
Henry says that, "They've moved on," That they're with their families. Like in heaven. Do you think that's true?

Ellie:
I go back and forth. I mean, I'd like to believe it.

Sam:
But you don't.

Ellie:
I guess not.

Sam:
Yeah... me neither.