The Red Green Show

The Red Green Show

The Red Green Show is a Canadian television comedy that aired on various channels in Canada, with its ultimate home at CBC Television, and on Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) stations in the United States, from 1991 until the series finale 7 April 2006, on CBC. The Red Green Show is essentially a cross between a sitcom and a sketch comedy series, and is a parody of home improvement, do-it-yourself, fishing, and other outdoors shows (particularly The Red Fisher Show). Reruns currently air on CBC Television, The Comedy Network, and various PBS stations. It was produced by S&S Productions, which is owned by Steve and Morag Smith. Directors on the series include Steve Smith, Rick Green and William G. Elliott. During the show's long run, The Red Green Show was nominated for 23 Gemini Awards, but only won once: in 1998, for Best Performance in a Comedy Program or Series.

Year:
1991
28,007 Views

Red Green:
How's it coming with my van, Dale?

Dale:
All finished, Mr. Green. I put a drop of oil on your horn relay. Your horn was sticking.

Red Green:
[somewhat incredulous] Yeah, I know. I LIKE it sticking. That way I can let morons know what I think of them, and still keep both hands on the wheel.

Dale:
[a little sorrowfully] Your generation is so confrontational.

Red Green:
No, we're not! I mean, doesn't YOUR generation ever lean on the horn?

Dale:
No, mostly I just use it to say hi. You know, "Beep, beep! How's it going, buddy?"

Red Green:
[exasperated tone] Dale, a horn is not for saying HELLO, it's for saying, "Get the hell outta the way!" Like this...

[Red honks the horn twice, long and loud]

Dale:
[remonstratingly] You're holding it for two whole notes, Mr. Green. See, if you just play two quarter notes, like this...

[reaches through the driver's window and presses the horn button briefly twice]

Dale:
...it sounds cheerful. You should try it; it'll be cool.

Red Green:
[a bit sarcastically, indicating that he isn't buying it] Oh, I definitely wanna be cool, Dale. That's a top priority with me.

[starts the van]

Dale:
Well, I still think you should give it a try, Mr. Green. You never know, you might surprise yourself.

Red Green:
[appeasingly, but still with a faintly sarcastic overtone] Yeah, well, why don't I just do that, Dale, and you have yourself a RAINBOW DAY.

[Red starts to drive off, then leans on the horn in earnest, blasting a REALLY loud and long honk, as Dale winces at the awful racket]

Red Green:
[pulls the Possum Van up to the drive-thru order-box at the local "greasy spoon", holding a large battery-powered megaphone; he's totally fed up with the order-box's atrociously poor and garbled sound quality - it merely makes incoherent "honky" noises that sound like a cross between Donald Duck and a nasally goose - so he's soaked the megaphone in water to create an equally unintelligible gargley "come-back" device to talk to the order-box]

Drive-thru order-box:
Huh-hoh, huhh-huh-huh-huhuh huh. Huh-huh-huhuhuh-uh-huh? [Hello, welcome to Sloppy Joe's. May I take your order, please?]

Red Green:
Uhlglh, yealghgl, I'llghl hlaghl thughl glehgluglxghl doughgl cheeghglburghle wlugh egglstrughl mayglogl, aghl lglahgle frighglsl, andgl aghl lglahgle rooglht bgleerglh. [Uh, yeah, I'll have the deluxe double-cheeseburger with extra mayo, a large order of fries, and a large root beer]

Drive-thru order-box:
[miraculously having completely understood what menu items that Red had wanted to order in spite of his totally muddled words - - perhaps the idea is that the obnoxious sound-box can also actually "perform in reverse", and so it is able to "de-garble" unclear words as spoken by the customers, just as it starts out with the clear words spoken by the order-taker and mushes them up into a meaningless whiny babble] Hoh-huh, huh-huh huh-huhuh, huh-huh huh huh-huh. Huh huh-huh huh huh huh-huhhuh, huh huhuh huh huh-huhuh huhhuh. [Okay, double cheeseburger, large fries and root beer. Please pull up to window two, and thanks for visiting Sloppy Joe's]

Red Green:
Ohglglay, thglangl sglo mglugl, anlgl ghlyougl hglagh yglorslgelglh agl GLHOOGLH GLDAYLGH. [Okay, thanks so much, and you have yourself a GOOD DAY]


Share your thoughts on The Red Green Show's quotes with the community:

1 Comment
  • neilj.27312
    Neil Jarrett/ North York.. Just a ton of laughs, really enjoyed it. Thank you..... neiljarrett51@gmail.com
    LikeReply2 years ago

Quote of the Day Today's Quote | Archive

Would you like us to send you a FREE inspiring quote delivered to your inbox daily?

Please enter your email address:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this movie page to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"The Red Green Show Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_red_green_show_quotes_107716>.

Know another quote from The Red Green Show?

Don't let people miss on a great quote from the "The Red Green Show" movie - add it here!

Browse Quotes.net

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
What TV series is this quote from: "Everybody lies."?
A House
B Grey's Anatomy
C Fargo
D The West Wing