Hey, do you know our motto?
Life... I'm lovin' it.
That's not it. That's McDonald's. This thing that you do, Ted, where you come into a place and push people out, you should know those people worked really hard to build this magazine. They believed in the motto. And I get it, you've got your marching orders and you have to do what you have to do, but you don't have to be such a d*ck. Put that on a plaque and hang it at your next job.
I just wanted to inform you all reluctantly that this month's issue will be our last. It's sad news, I'm sure. Now you're all valued employees but as we go under this transition of Life online, I want to be candid with you that some of you will be determined non-vital employees to the new partnership and we'll be deciding which of those positions will be remaining with us over the course of the next week. I also feel sad about that.
Never fun, this stage, but we do have ahead of us the privilege of publishing what will be the very last issue of Life magazine. We just received a telegram from Sean O'Connell, who has never been willing, I'm told, to speak with the executives here. Well, he broke his long silence and shared his thoughts with us through that old man... Sean O'Connell. I expect full consideration of negative 25 for cover. My most grand. The quintessence of life... what is that?
Ted's Toner Box Associate:
So our cover will probably be the most famous ever because it will have the big quintessence of all time. Full and so rich. So let's see this thing. Let's see it. What am I doing here? What's going on?
Negative assets has it. This gentleman here.
Ah, Major Tom! Can I get that?
It's being processed.
All right, let's do it. Let's process some quintessence. Come on. Go, now. That's why I'm clapping.
[with Spanish accent] The ice, yes? She moves like a woman. I'm Walter. Mitty.
Cheryl. Melhoff. Where have you been?
Testing the limits of the human spirit.
I'd like to climb your hair, test that out.
Perhaps I can contact you, possibly through my poetry falcon.
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