The Young Ones

The Young Ones

The Young Ones may refer to: The Young Ones (1961 film), a 1961 musical starring Cliff Richard, the American title is It's Wonderful to be Young! "The Young Ones" (song), title song to the film and a number-one 1962 single, by Cliff Richard and the Shadows The Young Ones (album), the soundtrack album to the 1961 film The Young Ones (1973 film), a 1973 Taiwanese film, spoken in Mandarin The Young Ones (TV series), a 1980s British sitcom about four students living together (which uses the song "The Young Ones" as its theme tune) The Young Ones (video game), a video game based on the British comedy television series Young Ones (film), a 2014 science fiction film The Young One, a 1960 English language film directed by Luis Buñuel, also called La joven The Young One (2016 film), a French-Portuguese film, original title Jeunesse

Director(s): Barry Phillips
Year:
1982
17,591 Views

Neil:
Ah I wished we'd missed the train after all now. I'm not going to be answer anything, I just know it.

Rick:
Oh come off it Neil you little swotty-pants! God, just look at you. Swatting away for teacher like a total spazmo! God you're really just an utter creep aren't you? You've done loads and load of work for this, and I haven't done anything. Nothing at all! Go on... test me!

Neil:
What?

Rick:
Go on, test me!

Neil:
You just said you hadn't done anything.

Rick:
Stop trying to be clever, just take the book!

Neil:
Alright. But verbatim regurgitation is against my principles.

Rick:
I'm asking you to test me on it, not throw up on it! Alright, now do it properly and don't skip it.

Neil:
O-Level history notes?

Rick:
Yes! Bit of pretty bloody brilliant luck eh? We're doing exactly the same period as I did for O-Level.

Neil:
[reading from Rick's notebook] "Prick is a wonker, signed the rest of the class."

Rick:
Ha ha, yes, ha ha, no that was sort of an in-joke that we had in my form. Actually I was incredibly popular and everyone thought I was great.

Neil:
[continues reading] "... I agree with the rest of the class, signed teacher."

Rick:
[quickly turns to another page] Just test me on the stuff will you? [points] There.

Neil:
Alright, alright. Don't get uncool and heavy. [reads from a lesson] "Crop rotation in the 14th century."

Rick:
Right! [reciting] "Crop rotation in the 14th century was much more widespread..."

Neil:
[interrupts] "Considerably more."

Rick:
What?

Neil:
It's "considerably more widespread" not "much more".

Rick:
Well?

Neil:
Well you said do it properly.

Rick:
Well not that much you stupid, bloody hippie!

Neil:
You said do it properly and don't skip bits! How was I to know that wasn't important?

Rick:
WELL IT WASN'T IMPORTANT! Alright? Now shall we just get on and stop wasting time like this? Right. Crop rotation in the 14th century was *considerably* more widespread after... God I know this... um... don't tell me... after... 1172! [Neil is silent and just looks at Rick] Well, was I right?

Neil:
Guys, guys, guys, I think I've solved our money problem. I'm writing to my bank manager. See what you think..."Dear Bank Manager."

Mike:
Yeah?

Neil:
Well, that's it. I'm quite pleased with it so far, though.

Mike:
Oh, well, it's a strong opening, certainly.

Vyvyan:
I don't like the "dear." Sounds a bit too much like, "Will you go to bed with me?"

Mike:
Well spoken, Vyvyan. What do you think instead?

Vyvyan:
Uh, what about..."darling?

[everyone concurs]

Neil:
[writing] "Darling Bank Manager..."

Rick:
No, no, no, no, no, not "Bank Manager," it's far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put "Fascist Bullyboy!"

Neil:
"Darling Fascist Bullyboy..."

Mike:
That's nice, yes, so far so good. So what do you want to say?

Neil:
Well, basically, I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that.

Mike:
Well, what about, "Give me some more money"?

Vyvyan:
..."You bastard!"

Neil:
Don't you think that's a bit strong?

Mike:
Ah, Neil, people like that respect strength.

Neil:
Yeah, you're right. Uh, "Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard..." Uh..."Love, Neil."

Vyvyan:
Not "Love, Neil"! That sounds far too much like, "Come and get it like a b*tch-funky sex machine!"

Neil:
Yeah, you're right... Uh, what about, "Yours sincerely"?

Rick:
Oh, come off it, Neil. If you're going to be that sycophantic, why don't you go 'round there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers?

Neil:
Oh, look, I know, I know, why not "Boom Shanka"? It means, "May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman."

Mike:
He'll never understand "Boom Shanka," you'll have to write the whole thing out.

Neil:
Right, okay, here we go. "Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil."

Rick:
Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will.


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