Thelma & Louise

J.D.:
Well, I've always believed that if done properly, armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.

J.D.:
So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean God gets you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.

Thelma:
Well, Daryl, that's my husband.

J.D.:
Daryl?

Thelma:
Yeah, he says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile.

Louise:
He's got a lot to be proud of.

Thelma:
Louise and him don't get along.

Louise:
That's putting it mildly.

Thelma:
She thinks he's a pig.

Louise:
I KNOW he's a pig.

Thelma:
I don't ever remember feeling this awake.

Thelma:
I've had it up to my ass with sedate.

Max:
If she calls, just be gentle, you know? Like you're really happy to hear from her. Like you miss her. Women love that sh*t.

Louise:
I'm in deep sh*t; Deep Sh*t, Arkansas.

Thelma:
Are you sure we should be driving like this, I mean in broad daylight and everything?

Louise Sawyer:
No we shouldn't, but I want to put some distance between us and the scene of our last goddamn crime.

Louise Sawyer:
Besides, what are we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that, there's no such thing as justifiable robbery.

Max:
You know, the one thing I can't figure out are these girls real smart or real real lucky?

Hal Slocumb:
Don't matter. Brains'll only get you so far and luck always runs out.

Thelma:
You're a real live outlaw, aren't ya?

J.D.:
Well I may be an outlaw, darlin', but you're the one stealing my heart.

Louise Sawyer:
In the future, when a woman is crying like that, she isn't having any fun.

Louise Sawyer:
You shoot off a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas ain't the place you want to get caught.

Louise Sawyer:
Is he your husband or your father?

Louise Sawyer:
You finally got laid properly, I'm so proud.

Thelma:
You said you 'n' me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well darlin', look out 'cause my hair is comin' down!

Louise Sawyer:
Certain words and phrases just keep drifting through my mind, things like, incarceration, cavity search, death by electrocution, life in prison, sh*t like that, know what I'm sayin', so do I want to come out alive...

Louise Sawyer:
Where do you get off behaving that way with women you don't even know, huh? How'd you feel if someone did that to your mother or your sister or your wife?

Louise Sawyer:
You've always been crazy, this is just the first chance you've had to express yourself.

Louise Sawyer:
You get what you settle for.

Thelma:
You could park a car in the shadow of his ass.

Thelma:
But, umm, I don't know, you know, something's, like, crossed over in me and I can't go back, I mean I just couldn't live.

Louise Sawyer:
I know, I know what you mean. Anyway, don't wanna end up on the damned Geraldo show.

Thelma:
OK, then listen, let's not get caught.

Louise Sawyer:
What're you talking about?

Thelma:
Let's keep going.

Louise Sawyer:
What do you mean?

Thelma:
Go.

Louise Sawyer:
You sure?

Thelma:
Yeah, yeah. Let's.

Louise Sawyer:
You let her go, you f***in' a**hole, or I'm gon' splatter your ugly face all over this nice car!

Thelma:
I know it's crazy, but I just feel like I got a knack for this sh*t.

Louise:
I believe you do.

Louise:
Well, we're not in the middle of nowhere, but we can see it from here.

Jimmy:
It's a place called the Vagabond Motel. It's at 1921 North East 23rd. It's under "Peaches".

Louise:
What?

Jimmy:
That's the code word. I miss you, Peaches.

Jimmy:
Did I hear somebody say "Peaches"?

Louise:
Oh my God. Jimmy.

Jimmy:
That's the secret word. Show the lady what she's won, Don.

Jimmy:
I want to give you something.

Louise:
Give it to me here.

Jimmy:
Why don't you try it on? You didn't see that one coming, did you?

Louise:
Why Jimmy? Why now?

Jimmy:
Try not to get too excited, Louise. I just flew across two states with that ring in my f***in' hand, and uh... You know I hate to fly.

J.D.:
[referring to Daryl] Who's that?

Slocum:
That's Mrs. Dickinson's husband.

J.D.:
Well, sh*t twice and fall back in.

Louise:
You let her go, you f***ing a**hole, or I'm gonna splatter your brains all over this nice car.

Harlan:
[Getting off of Thelma] Easy, we're just having a little fun.

Louise:
Sounds like you got a real f***ed up idea of fun. Turn around. In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!

Harlan:
B*tch! I shoulda gone ahead and f***ed her!

Louise:
What did you say?

Harlan:
I said suck my cock.

[Louise shoots him]

Thelma:
Hey Louise, better slow down, I'll just die if we get caught over a speeding ticket. Are you sure we should be driving like this, I mean in broad daylight and everything?

Louise:
No we shouldn't, but I want to put some distance between us and the scene of our last God damned crime!

[Thelma laughs and screams]

Thelma:
Oh man! You wouldn'ta believed it, it was like I was doing it all my life, nobody woulda believed it.

Louise:
Think you found your calling?

Thelma:
May-be... may-be. [gets up in her seat] The call of the wild!

Thelma:
Good morning everybody, this is a robbery. Now if nobody loses their head, nobody will lose their head. Simon says everybody lay down on the floor, right away, right away, except you sir. You'll have a story to tell your friends, that or a tag on your toe, it's your decision. Now you take this bag and empty the cash register into it.

Store clerk:
Yes ma'am.

Thelma:
Let's see who wins a prize for keeping their cool. Now you sir, lay back down, thank you. Hey, throw in a couple bottles of Wild Turkey while you're at it.

Store clerk:
Sure ma'am.

Thelma:
Thank you, now everybody just stay down on the floor until I leave, thank you for your cooperation and have a good day.

Louise:
Should've gone to the police in the beginning, why didn't I?

Thelma:
You said why before.

Louise:
What'd I say?

Thelma:
That nobody would believe us. You know that jerk was really hurting me, and if you hadn't come along when you had he would've hurt me even worse. And probably nothing would've been done with him because I was dancing with him all night and everybody saw it and they'd figure I had it coming. My life would've been ruined a whole lot more than it is now, now I'm having fun. I'll tell you something else, I'm not the least bit sorry that creep is dead, I'm just sorry it was you who did it and not me.

Thelma:
You awake?

Louise:
Guess you could call it that, my eyes are open.

Thelma:
I'm awake too. I feel awake.

Louise:
Good.

Thelma:
I feel really awake. I don't recall ever feeling this awake. You know? Everything looks different now. You feel like that? You feel like you got something to live for now?

Louise:
We'll be drinking margaritas by the sea, mamacita.

Thelma:
You know we could change our names.

Louise:
To live in a hacienda.

Thelma:
I want to get a job, I'll work at Club Med.

Louise:
Yeah, what kind of deal is that cop going to have to come up with to top that?

Thelma:
Have to be pretty good.

Louise:
Have to be pretty damn good.

Thelma:
[with a cliff in front of them and cops behind them] OK, then listen; let's not get caught.

Louise:
What're you talkin' about?

Thelma:
Let's keep goin'!

Louise:
What d'you mean?

Thelma:
Go. [nods ahead of them]

Louise:
You sure?

Thelma:
Yeah.

Thelma Dickinson:
Goddamn it! I've never been lucky! Not one time!

J.D.:
Hey! Thank your wife for me. [starts gyrating his hips and simulating having sex, causing Daryl to get livid]