Tom Sawyer

[first lines]

Tom Sawyer:
Hello Huckleberry.

Huckleberry Finn:
How come you're playin' hooky?

Tom Sawyer:
Same as you.

Huckleberry Finn:
Never spent a day in school in my life.

Aunt Polly:
Well with those two it's hard to figure who's influencin' who. I think the time has come for some good old-fashioned UN-influencin'.

Tom Sawyer:
Heck, girls aint no fun. Always gigglin' or weepin'.

Joe Jefferson:
Whata you know about girls?

Tom Sawyer:
I was engaged to Amy Lawrence... always gigglin' or weepin'.

Aunt Polly:
What's the matter, boy? Ya aint been yourself for days. Ya need some of the remedy?

Aunt Polly:
I don't know why it is people eat so much more when they eat outdoors.

Tom Sawyer:
Hucky, whata ya reckon'll come of this?

Huckleberry Finn:
If Doc Robinson dies I reckon hangin'll come of it.

Becky Thatcher:
Oh Tom. So I'm not the first one you've been engaged to. Philanderer!

Tom Sawyer:
What?

Becky Thatcher:
Well that's what you are.

Tom Sawyer:
Yeah but what does it mean?

Becky Thatcher:
I'm not sure. But even if I did know I wouldn't tell you.

Tom Sawyer:
[sings v.o] If'n I was God/ well just for spite/ I wouldn't set the sun at night/ till everyone was treated right/ by everyone else they see.

Tom Sawyer:
[choking on pipe smoke] If'n I had known how much fun smokin' was, I would have started long ago.

Huckleberry Finn:
Well I give it two weeks and it just don't work. She makes me get up the same time every morning. She makes me wash. I gotta wear them fancy clothes that just smothers me. I can't smoke, I cant chaw. I gotta wear shoes all Sunday. I gotta ask to go swimmin', I gotta ask to go fishin'. Well I'll be damned if I don't have to ask to do everything. I tell ya, I had to sneak up to the attic and cuss for ten minutes just to get the taste back in my mouth.